9 - 10,000 BC (March 2008)

This movie will have you asking questions like, "where are we?" and, "is it ethical for white people playing non-white people to have dreadlocks?" or perhaps, "do the dinosaur-deniers have a point?" and maybe even, "how do the druid guys get any slaving done with nails that long?" I don't think that the 'BC' in the title of this movie stands for "Bull-Crap"; but, if it did, it wouldn't be a complete stretch. This movie is like every supermodel that high-school aged teenagers fell in love with. Pretty gorgeous, if not some large percentage artificial, with all of its atributes splayed out on the surface and limited in depth... but maybe that's not fair to the supermodels. This movie is... borderline fine. Looks pretty decent, sounds horrible, and has a plotline so weak it could for sure be confused for one of those historic dramatizations you saw at the last history museum you went to. Come for the wooly mammthos, stay (or leave) for the janky accents and more bronzer than you shake a bone spear at.