9 Kids, 9 Teens — What She Learned About Raising Independent Adults, Vicki Renke Pt. 1 | EP 106

Raising teen kids without losing your mind — or your relationship with them — is possible, even if your house has 9 children in it. Vicki Renke, mom of 9 and homeschool veteran, is here to bust every myth you've been told about teenagers, homeschooling, and what it actually takes to raise independent adults. If you've ever sobbed in a church bathroom because your kid isn't perfect, this one's for you.   WHAT'S INSIDE THIS EPISODE: Why parenting out of fear is the fastest way to lose your teenager — and what to do instead How your teen's brain is basically a construction zone (and why that changes everything) The connection secret Vicki learned the hard way with 9 kids — and how to use it today Homeschooling myths busted — including how to do it even if you can't do algebra Why the goal of parenting is to work yourself out of a job (and how to start doing it)   WHY THIS MATTERS TO YOU:   You know that feeling — the one where your teenager looks at you like you just suggested they eat dirt, and you're standing in the kitchen thinking, who IS this person? You've been through the toddler wars. You survived the preschool phase. And now this. The teen years hit different when the person having the meltdown is taller than you and has opinions about literally everything.   You've probably tried everything — being stricter, being looser, reading the parenting books, Googling at 11pm. Nothing sticks because most advice doesn't account for what's actually happening inside your teen's brain, or what your fear of their mistakes is doing to your connection with them.   Vicki has been there — nine times over — and she's here to tell you that surviving the teen years with your relationship intact is not only possible, it's the whole point.   KEY TAKEAWAYS: You cannot parent out of fear. Fear breaks connection, and connection is the only thing that actually works with teenagers. Your teen's bad behavior is not a report card on you. Ages 13-15 especially, their brains are literally under reconstruction — lower your expectations, raise your curiosity. Give them responsibility and autonomy. Kids who feel controlled feel worthless. Kids who are trusted build self-worth. Homeschooling is more flexible than you think. You can follow your child's passion — Vicki had a son obsessed with bats who grew into a skilled tradesman. Interest-led learning works. The whole goal is to work yourself out of a job. Independent, capable adults don't happen by accident — they happen when parents intentionally release control, one mistake at a time.   ABOUT VICKI RENKE: Vicki Renke is a mother of 9 children, grandmother of 9, and a homeschool veteran who navigated every educational path imaginable — public, private, online, and home — adapting to each of her kids' unique needs. She began her career as a daycare teacher before running an in-home daycare while raising her own family. Today, she also works as a Body Code, Emotion Code, and Belief Code practitioner, helping people release energetic and emotional blocks rooted even in the womb. Vicki brings hard-won wisdom, zero judgment, and a refreshing sense of humor to every conversation.   Connect with Vicki: https://abundantlivingwithvicki.com/welcome-to-my-website/   READY TO GO DEEPER?   >> FREE COACHING CALL — Not sure where to start? Book a free 30-minute call with Natalie. No strings. Just real support: nataliemccabe.com   >> FREE COMMUNITY — Join the Mom Life Uncomplicated community of moms who get it. Share, support, breathe: nataliemccabe.com (select Community tab)   >> SINK OR SWIM PARENTING — Natalie's book, packed with real stories and research-backed strategies for parents of toddlers to teens: nataliemccabe.com   >> 5-MINUTE MOM CALM DOWN KIT — Grab Natalie's free toolkit for the moments you're about to lose it: nataliemccabe.com   DID THIS EPISODE HELP YOU? Share it with a mom who needs it today. And if you're loving the podcast, a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts means the world — it helps other overwhelmed moms find us.   Tag Natalie on Instagram: @natalie_mccabe_official