#91 - I'm Bonking My Eyes Out

Episode 91: [Sirens blare] Attention pathetic inhabitants of planet Earth! We have entered your atmosphere and you like didn’t even know it. We are here to inform you that you are basically the turds of the universe. Your overinflated egos are an ironic and laughable contrast to your milquetoast approach to “science” and exploration. I put science in quotes because what you call “science” is less advanced than what we call “dogs” are capable of on our planet. We are obviously also here to conquer you and absorb your planet’s pitiful excuse for resources. We don’t even really need them; we just want to watch you squirm like the sad sour rat-maggots that you are. And don’t bother taxing your small brains with the idea of defending yourselves. Our superior weaponry would literally leave your unborn great grandchildren punch drunk in several alternate dimensions. Yes, we have that technology. So you might as well sit back, try to relax and prepare yourselves for audial probing. There are worse things than listening to Episode 91 of Don’t Be An Idiom. Cross our seven squid hearts and hope to BLORX!