92. Assuming What Others Think is a Trap; The Story in Your Head May Be Wrong

Have you ever been in a situation where you are absolutely convinced, 100% convinced, that you know what someone else is thinking about you? I think the answer to that for all of us is yes! We convince ourselves we know what our partners, bosses, or friends are thinking, and it causes us a lot of unnecessary struggle.  Today we're diving into the mind-reading cognitive distortion—the false belief that we know exactly what is going on in someone else's head. Drawing on insights from Tara Mohr's book, Playing Big, we explore why women are so conditioned to care about what others think, how we project our own insecurities onto the people around us, and actionable ways to step out of this mental trap.  What You’ll Learn:✔ The "Mind-Reading" Distortion: Why we falsely believe we know what someone else is thinking and why we almost always assume it's negative. ✔ The Projection Trap: How our own uncomfortable feelings and insecurities—like worrying about our changing midlife bodies or learning new skills—are often projected onto others as a defense mechanism.  ✔ The Power of the "Boring" Explanation: How to challenge your assumptions by looking for simple, everyday reasons for someone else's behavior.  ✔ Unhooking from Criticism: Why the feedback you receive actually tells you more about the person giving it than it does about you.  Episode Chapters:00:00 - The trap of being convinced you know what others are thinking  03:43 - Real-life struggles and the "mind-reading" cognitive distortion  07:10 - How we project our midlife insecurities onto our spouses and bosses  10:52 - Lessons from Tara Mohr's Playing Big and unhooking from praise  13:41 - Relational focus, good girl conditioning, and why we care so much  19:11 - Finding the evidence and the "boring" explanation for people's behavior  20:50 - Changing your perspective on negative feedback and trusting your gut  Links & Resources:Grab Tara's book Playing Big here: cherylpfischer.com/read  Why This Episode MattersBy recognizing that you cannot truly know what other people are thinking, you can free yourself from the exhausting cycle of seeking external validation. Trust your gut, trust the simplest explanations, and avoid letting imagined judgments hold you back. Take a little bit better care of yourself in midlife.  Find the GreenSynergy Elixir and Energy Fizz duo at cherylpfischer.com/greens. Grab your water bottle, add these, and enjoy!Support the show🌸 Liked this episode? Share it with fellow Gen X women navigating hormone balance, an empty nest, and/or self-confidence!🫶 Love this show? Leave a review to help more women over 50 find us.💡Want menopause advice, mindset shifts, or support with midlife transformation?Find out more about the Midlife Recharge at cherylpfischer.com/rechargeLet’s talk health after 50, self-talk, and redefining aging for women — without the “midlife crisis” narrative. Every week I'm adding new success strategies for midlife women.Connect with Cheryl: Instagram | LinkedIn | Website---------------💡If you are a brand or business wanting to reach an audience of women in their 40s and 50s who are focused on health, success, and taking care of themselves and others well in this stage of life, consider sponsoring Mind Your Midlife podcast.  More information here.