#92 It's Time to Disappoint Them

In this second introduction to the Child and Woman series inside Shame Out Loud, Lori Clarke offers deeper context for the story she’s been slowly, carefully telling. This episode explores the difference between what’s visible on the outside and what’s carried on the inside — and how family systems, unspoken rules, secrecy, and inherited beliefs can shape a life long before we have language for them. Lori reflects on growing up inside a “family container” marked by victim mentality, scarcity, and silence — and how those patterns created a covering of shame that made it difficult to see herself clearly, even years later. She speaks honestly about the ache that didn’t come from what happened, but from what didn’t happen: protection, validation, advocacy, and safety. This is a conversation about truth-telling, reclaiming your inner narrative, and the courage it takes to turn inward — especially when doing so threatens the systems that taught you who you were allowed to be. If you’ve ever felt unseen, invalidated, or disconnected from yourself — especially when your external life didn’t reflect your internal experience — this episode offers language, context, and validation. Content note: This episode includes reflections on emotional abuse, secrecy, family systems, and lived experiences that may be activating for some listeners. Please listen at the pace your body allows. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Shame Out Loud 02:00 The Journey of Self-Reflection 08:15 The Impact of External Perceptions 10:49 Family Containers and Beliefs 20:18 Reclaiming the Inner Narrative 26:21 Breaking Free from Victim Mentality 38:12 The Power of Self-Love and Validation