EPISODE · Oct 23, 2025 · 26 MIN
93: 🔎 5 dating questions to spot the avoidant (or secure one) EARLY on
from The Anxious To Secure PODCAST · host Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach
Ever wondered how to SPOT an avoidant early on, or what a securely attached partner actually looks like? Dating can feel like a minefield when you have an anxious attachment, right? 🧠 You meet someone, start to get attached, and only later realize they’re emotionally unavailable. They pull away. You overthink. Suddenly, you’re stuck in the same anxious spiral, replaying the same patterns again and again. In this episode, I’m showing you how to spot avoidant tendencies early, understand attachment patterns, and recognize what a secure, emotionally available partner actually looks like. Because the goal isn’t to judge... it’s to create awareness, so you stop chasing mixed signals, stop overextending emotionally, and start investing in the people who actually make you feel calm, seen, and safe. 🖤✨ By the end of this episode, you’ll know: How anxious and avoidant patterns secretly show up in early dating Why you keep feeling pulled into the same exhausting cycles How to spot secure energy so you can attract healthier connections Ways to protect your nervous system and emotional wellbeing while dating 🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse 🖤 ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles in Dating 01:42 Question 01 04:49 Question 02 09:21 Question 03 13:40 Question 04 18:20 Question 05 20:50 Bonus Question 23:02 Key Questions to Identify Attachment Styles 🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY (worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more) https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach 🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
What this episode covers
Ever wondered how to SPOT an avoidant early on, or what a securely attached partner actually looks like? Dating can feel like a minefield when you have an anxious attachment, right? 🧠 You meet someone, start to get attached, and only later realize they’re emotionally unavailable. They pull away. You overthink. Suddenly, you’re stuck in the same anxious spiral, replaying the same patterns again and again. In this episode, I’m showing you how to spot avoidant tendencies early, understand attachment patterns, and recognize what a secure, emotionally available partner actually looks like. Because the goal isn’t to judge... it’s to create awareness, so you stop chasing mixed signals, stop overextending emotionally, and start investing in the people who actually make you feel calm, seen, and safe. 🖤✨ By the end of this episode, you’ll know: How anxious and avoidant patterns secretly show up in early dating Why you keep feeling pulled into the same exhausting cycles How to spot secure energy so you can attract healthier connections Ways to protect your nervous system and emotional wellbeing while dating 🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse 🖤 ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles in Dating01:42 Question 0104:49 Question 0209:21 Question 0313:40 Question 0418:20 Question 0520:50 Bonus Question23:02 Key Questions to Identify Attachment Styles 🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY (worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more) https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach 🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
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93: 🔎 5 dating questions to spot the avoidant (or secure one) EARLY on
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