93. You're Both Adults, But Not Peers

The parent-child relationship is not like any other. In so many ways, your role has always been a more demanding one than your child's. If you were lucky, you had no responsibility for your parents when you were growing up; they took care of you, and not the other way around. Parents care for their children, and children are cared for by parents. There's something inherently asymmetrical about the relationship. That dynamic gets etched into both of your psyches as your child grows to maturity. And even though she's now an adult, she's never going to be exactly like your peers. Tina describes the ways and means that parents shoulder the burden of steering relationships with their children. It's clear that although parents and children are not exactly peers, even in adulthood, parents trade the responsibilities of parenting for the honor of being irreplaceable. Most of us have just one of each parent. Never believe you're interchangeable with anyone else in your adult child's life.