Episode 95 today and I'm talking about stopping to look at how far you have come. I feel like we're so good at striving, we're so good at achieving, but many of us are really not very good at stopping to pat ourselves on the back and appreciate all we have already done. So today's podcast I'm hoping I can break that cycle for a second and get you thinking about all that you have already done and how far you've already come. Welcome to Hair to Thrive.
I'm your host Kate Snowwise. This is a podcast where people who are ready to step up and live a happier life. It's for those of us who are dedicated to understanding ourselves and getting the best that we can out of this thing called life. It's a mix of psychology and modern spiritual thought, always with a focus on practical advice so that you can take it back and apply it to your own life.
I don't believe we're here to merely survive. I truly believe we're here to thrive. So let's get going. Before we jump in today, I would love to just give my listeners a shout out.
Thank you so much for continuing to tune in to Hair to Thrive and sharing this with your friends. It means so very much to me and your heartfelt notes. They truly mean the world. I am so glad it is touching so many of you and helping you to think about life a little bit more deeply.
If you do appreciate the podcast, it would mean so much if you could take a couple of minutes after listening today to leave a review where ever you listen. If that's in iTunes, you can go to thrive.how. forward slash review and it should take you to where you need to go to leave that review. So that is my ask of you, but right now I am going to launch in to addressing this topic of not stopping to see how far you've already come.
Now this came up for me this week because I saw this in my clients, the people I was talking to this week, and it reminded me how often I do see this. Because I feel like I have this conversation frequently enough that it was time I had it with you. And that is the message I shared in the introduction. That we can't constantly be striving, achieving and looking for more in our lives and ever expect to be happy.
If we're constantly striving for a destination, then we will never get there. Which is why it is so important to stop, take stock and appreciate all that we have and all that we have already achieved and created. I believe Western society is incredibly achievement driven. We're taught that we always have to have an objective and a goal and we always have to be working towards something we as a culture are addicted to productivity.
And by all means it means we achieve a lot, but what makes for a good life, I challenge you to think about that for a second. And where I think it can get really dangerous is when we turn this desire for productivity and for achievement on ourselves. And we obsessively focus on trying to be the better or best version of who we are, but in doing so, forget that we are already magnificent and overlook how far we've already come. So this one's about a little bit of self appreciation.
I'm going to illustrate this point a little. I was speaking with a client this week who almost said she rescheduled her call with me because she felt like she had nothing to talk to me about. I promise you one thing, if I'm either your coach, you will always have something to talk to me about. I will find it.
I promise. As we went into that session, she started off with a review of what had been happening, some of her struggles and frustrations over the last couple of months. And then why she felt she hadn't really made progress on what we talked about in previous sessions. Now as she continued to talk through things, I was actually amazed at how much progress she had made and so many of the areas that we had originally identified as being important.
But here is the thing. Until our conversation, she hadn't necessarily noticed those wins and she certainly hadn't celebrated them. You could say she was taking that progress for granted and overlooking it and letting it be overshadowed by these things that she still hadn't quite got to where she wanted to. So instead, she was being really hard on herself for the things that hadn't fallen into place, but yet crowding out the goodness that was present and all of the big wins that had been going on for her recently.
Here's the other thing I want to share is that I do this too. I use my own mentor for this exact same thing. And I know that I need it. When I speak with her monthly, it's an amazing opportunity for me to stop, pause and check in on all the progress I've made in the last month.
Having someone there who is my sounding board for that and keeping me accountable to reflection is amazing. Reflection, that is where your power lies and reflecting on where you have been with that positive light over it. So by all means, you could go and hire a coach like me, you'll get a mentor, I'll admit. It makes it easy to do because there's some external accountability.
But that doesn't mean that you can't stop and take stock of your own life without having someone there to do this with you. You can make a conscious decision to hit pause, zoom out and remember to look back down the mountain. You've been busy climbing to savor that view for just a second and see how far you've already come. And the truth, if you do this and if you prioritize this kind of reflection, you'll feel so much more fulfilled, less stressed and so much more grateful for all that you have.
So how on earth can we go about stopping to recognize how far we've come? I'm going to share a couple of ways you can do that right now. The first thing you can do is to set aside time monthly with yourself to zoom out on your life and reflect. I challenge you to start this today.
Don't postpone this because if you do, you will risk never doing it. So take 15 minutes today, grab a journal or open a Word document and make a simple reflective note. Create this space in your busy life to stop and look back down your mountain. The questions you ask are up to you.
They could potentially go along the lines of, what am I proud of in the last month? How do I feel I have improved in the last month? What new things do I feel I have learned over the last 30 days? What has been the high point in the last month for me?
Or if you're like me, kindness is one of my values. How have I been kind in the last month? There is no limit to the questions you ask yourself. You don't need to ask yourself questions if that doesn't feel natural to you.
The crucial element here is to look back and ask yourself, what was the good that happened in the last 30 days? How can I appreciate how far I have already come? So that first point, make sure you set aside a monthly date with yourself, a monthly reoccurring appointment with yourself to reflect. Now by all means, you can add questions about what you want to focus on over the coming month, what your goals are.
But the whole point of this episode right now on here to thrive is to remind you not to just focus on where you're going, not to get preoccupied with a destination, but to focus on and appreciate how far you've already come. So if you want to add on a goal, focus component, do not skip the crucial step of reflection first. Do your reflection first. Now if you wanted to one of exercise a little way that you can stop and take stock in a slightly bigger fashion, I would encourage you to write a letter to your 18 year old self.
Write a letter to yourself as if you're an 18 year old kid and tell her the younger version of you, the me that would be young Kate, all of the amazing things you've learned, the experiences that you've been proud of in these years, and all of the good things that lie ahead of her. This is such an awesome way to reflect on just how far you've come. If 18 year old you sounds like an age that doesn't really resonate, you can choose whatever age works for you. It can be 10 years ago, 20 years ago, whatever feels right.
For me, they just felt like there was something cool about 18. I feel like that when I was just trying to branch out on my own and I had no idea what was ahead of me. If only I could have known where I would be sitting now all these years later, how many years later, like 17, 18 years later. Wow!
And to go back and contemplate that is really, really heartwarming. I'm not the girl I was when I was 18. I have grown and I've learned so many life lessons. And an exercise like this can really help you stop and take stock of those achievements, those life lessons, and those learning experiences that you've had over those years.
Now by all means, if you want to supercharge this, get a coach or find a personal mentor at work if that works for you. I wish I was saying this for a massive plug for my services. I guarantee you I am not because I can only take so many one-on-one coaching clients and I only have one spot currently in my late June calendar. So this is just a truly heartfelt shout out to how powerful coaching can be.
If you have a friend who's had a personal coach, get a recommendation. If you have a mentoring program at work, join it. What I will say is that coaching is different for everyone. Not all coaches approach it the same way.
And if I was trying to describe what I do as a coach succinctly, I would say that I help my clients uncover what matters most to them and help them continue to live a life aligned with that. So I help people step back and then shine a light on what you are doing and help you intentionally create where you want to go. I really feel like I just act like a sounding board and someone who will remind you to do simple things like this, reflect and help you do that on a regular basis. If you do end up working with a coach or with a mentor who may not be trained in necessarily the same vein that I am, I would encourage you to say that this is something that you want to do as part of your sessions with them, that you want to start with a reflection and a celebration of care achievements or wins since you last spoke.
Especially if you're in a mentoring program, you can absolutely talk that through with a mentor as you go in. So get someone on your side in your corner to help support you to do this reflection if you feel like that is something that would be beneficial for you. Now in summary, I just hope that this message today helps remind you to slow down and reflect. Reflect is the crucial word here.
Reflect frequently on how far you have all ready come. I want you to celebrate your achievements rather than immediately be jumping into the next goal. I hope that this has helped you remember that developing and growing ourselves is great, but so is appreciating how magnificent and amazing you all ready are. Don't let your desire to always strive, sack the joy out of all you have all ready done.
Take a moment every now and again to pat yourself on the back and recognize how far you have already come. And if you make a habit of it, I promise you that this will fuel you in more ways than you could even imagine. Reflection. Build a space of a positive reflection into your life.
Save your wins. Appreciate your achievements and don't always be running on to the next goal. Remember that today, build some time into your day to day to start this process and you'll be thriving. So next week on the podcast, all going well, I will have a Master in Kip on the show.
This is a big deal because for me it is a massive full circle moment that I will be sharing with you in that interview. Seriously, a giant soul wink. So tune in for that to hear why having Master in Kip, he's been on Oprah by the way. He's one of Oprah's top 100 thought leaders.
Why having him on the show is a big deal for me and why it feels like such a beautiful full circle moment. So give yourself over the coming week. Fill your mind with beautiful things that fill you up and I will be back next Friday with my Chitchat with Master in Kip. Until then keep thriving, beautiful people keep thriving.