99 Days of lessons learned

99 days. My odd experiment is coming to an end. Tomorrow is the last episode. Today, I thought I begin to reflect on what’s happened, maybe a part 1. I didn’t want to talk about something I’ve already posted, like so many of the podcasts. I wanted something new for today, so I’m starting with a blank sheet, and I’m going to see where this leads. Emotions have played a larger role in my experiment than anything physical or mental. I didn’t lack skill, time, or money. The skill level required is minimum. I just did the best I can do. The time wasn’t much. The article and podcast took about 20 to 45 minutes depending on the day. The exercise was only 150 seconds. Money wasn’t required. Anchor.fm and LinkedIn are both free, and I already had the microphone. The experiment was an emotional rollercoaster. The last week has been an all-time low, and I would have predicted it to be an all-time high. I thought I would be excited to be at the end, but I was almost angry at the futility of a few more days. Somehow I thought I had learned all that I would learn, but in the middle of that thought, realizing I was still learning how to finish when the fun was gone. It’s about the finishing, even when it isn’t fun. It’s okay to switch of course, but only for real reasons, not for emotions. I’m not happy about emotions playing such a large role. I feel cornered somehow by my desire to have my emotions aligned with my objectives. Why do I “want” to relax, veg, read for fun, hang out? None of those activities are bad in the right context and allotment. I’m not saying to work all day and never relax. Actually, I believe being with the ones you care about is more important than any experiment. The point is what type of person do you want to be for the ones you care about. I know someone that lies often. He’ll exaggerate and explain away mistakes. I find him untrustworthy. I don’t value his friendship much. He’s not the type of person I aspire to be. I don’t think he’s the type of person he aspires to be, but maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know him well enough to say, but I can use him as a hypothetical to examine my own thinking. Is it possible he’s too busy with the mundane and immediate that he can’t take the time to ponder something long term and valuable? Could he be addicted to the easy road? I know first steps in any direction is a good indicator of the next step and direction. I like to say firsts beget seconds. If I read, I’m more likely to read. If I eat junk food, I’m more likely to continue to eat junk food. If I walk a little, I’m more likely to walk a lot. In this real sense, I can be aware of beginnings and set a course for a beautiful ending. I haven’t really found my tribe yet. I have a few very dear friends that are worth the world to me. I’m not talking about that tribe. I’m talking about my hobby of investigating will power, decisions, and habits. I’m still searching. If you know anyone I should know, please connect us. If you are someone who finds this type of thing interesting, please let me know. This isn’t an end. Tomorrow is my last episode for this experiment, and I will close tomorrow the same way I’m going to close today, to be continued.