All right, this time for sure. I'm messing around this time. I had a problem. I have now Adjusted and now we can do a show okay.
Let's do a show that following show is for mature audiences only listener discretion is advised And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself Welcome to perverted podcast the show where we explore the adventures stop laughing at me I'm old and the adventures of the kinky lifestyle sex and perversion and at the end we sing a song Next Preverted studio audience hello perverts I'm happy I'm a bitch. I'm bogey and here. I'm sure god damn it look you go on vacation And you know we miss you know we have to go an extra day it gets confusing, you know No listeners don't know what the fuck you just said well Yeah, cuz we pre-recorded and so we you know if you went on vacation So we recorded two shows in one week so then it was two weeks before you did a show and and then I you know Forgot everything just empty out of your head Age Nice the show No Fun or interesting this week I can tell you what didn't happen that was one or interesting this week Oh, no, you're gonna you know no you were on vacation I was on vacation Vacation dick I was supposed to get vacation dick. So what happened get to the bar.
There's a cute guy up at the bar I'm like hey There's a cute age-appropriate guy He's the only other single person here because this is a family resort and everybody was like families and kids and stuff And so I see him at the bar I get up I go walk up to the bar and my sister-in-law She's over with my brother and she's like oh yeah, he's getting her flirt on and my brother's like no She's not and my sister-in-law's like yeah, she is But there's like no she's not you don't know what you're talking about so guy comes back to sound next to me at the bar My brother fucking cocks blocks He starts just getting in on the conversation and he keeps turning it back into shit I can't talk about like sports or politics things. I don't care I have a vagina and I'm pretty you know what you should have done that I would have stuck a tiki one of those little bamboo straws right now. I thought well You know what we're here for a week This is only day two I'll have another chance right well this guy ended up spending the rest of the week drunk off his Ass from morning till night I think even if he had taken me back to his room he wouldn't know what to do with his dick at that point So I was like you know maybe it's not just a bullet there So you could have had a drunken fuck week all I come on you could have kept him out of the hooch for a little I keep him out of the hooch and into your couch. Oh I just wrote that I just wrote that right now.
I got caught no vacation sex for me, but you guys had some fun, right? Yeah, yeah, we got cock block kind of So he's got these two old decrepit fucking cats that is all over the place and should be dead But they're not in fees attached to him So she wants us to come and check on her pussies, but not her pussy pussy But just you know the house pussies so the condition for us for the whoever this person is a bit I fuck yeah, so Just love the mouth jobs. I'm in a room with five women This is awesome I can cause sick If you count the podcast sick that is oh look we prefer to her as a girl now. Thank you Kathy That's awesome.
So the condition well you refer to her as a ship sales. She's yeah now It's fun. So we say we're gonna come and check on fees to credit fucking aging zombie cats and It's I say well, you know the condition we're driving down here and being an idiot hanging out with fucking cats and don't give two Shits whether we live or die. Hey, they were pretty excited to see us.
Yeah. No. Thanks. I'm gonna piss on your feet now That's great.
That's a king. It's like what you do In the shower at least So we come and we check on the cats we feed them we I give them love and pets and the toss-up was you know Hey, we're gonna you have a fantastic bathtub and we're gonna see the bath and I'll be bonding Mm-hmm sexy. So we can't have a bath and it was like that. We're only like yeah, and it's cool You know she brought like the fizzy bomb thing that you play with and you know whatever and not and not vaginally by the way There's this thing so keep it on your couch.
Yeah, it's bumando, you know, not good espumando So And for me does that what it means? Okay, good. So espumando bad don't put in your pussy So to make a short story even fucking longer and more annoying So we're in the tub and we're like talking you know, you know It's like the movie where we're sitting at equals each side of the tub and we're like playing with feeds and you know It's all rubby W and I'm on hit but I won't you turn around and so she leans back on me and it's just real pretty in her skins against me and We're trickling water on her and I start reaching down and I'm gonna go I'm gonna get me some bathtub loving now I reach down I touch her pussy. She tilts her head back in a kind of passionate way she moans and then all of a sudden I hear Oh, and I'm like whoops what and then I hear And I'm like what you kick the drain open.
Let's just push it down. Just push the drain down and she's on trying Hang on and all of a sudden here's your window of opportunity closing here's your You will not be getting dick. This is now not sexy now. We're fighting Naked in a tub with a fees fucking cockblock drain while we're trying to get a fucking erection Which we all know male impotency sets in later in life And so I'm like try to keep them just now I'm gonna push and we're fighting and the drains like no and the water is getting lower and lower and lower and Now it's cold air is hitting us and it's like well shit It's just and then if I could we just then all of a sudden there just became this quiet moment where we both just started watching the last Of the water and our intimate sexual experience go down fees drain I want to cry that's sad and we cursed the zombie cats who were both sitting at the edge of the tub That both looked at us and said dumbass So you know one of the cats went in there with its paws and just scratched the little rubber thing so that it would close No, it's I can teach you how to work the drain.
It's over the moment the moment's really over And zombie cats Now The world's greatest social media site for people in every week we talk a bit about the stuff that's that like people are talking about For your peace of mind, please know that every group of blog posts we talk about specifically has granted us permission to do so So we wait I said wait I did the finger Well that usually means stop or hey, hey, this is a special fat life because we get to talk about our new group affiliates Yes, hello, so we now have our groups and far okay to explain to our fine fucking perverted podcast listeners have joined wonder Of joy and wonder man more wonder man towards us so now we have a program we have one of our volunteers sweet little 7268 who is doing so awesome She has been contacting various groups on FET life and offering kind of like an affiliation program Like hey, we we talk about you and post you on our stuff and you post us on yours and together Hopefully, you know, we can get more information to each other and think of people who are curious You know can learn things because we're talking to people outside of FET life on the show and they're inside of FET life And we want people to go inside of that life because that's where all the good information is we want them inside We want them and we've been like one side of them So we have a few new groups in the beginning of of every fat life We're gonna I want to just mention our new groups and a little bit You know, and because these are fantastic groups And this is if you have a profile on FET life calm which obviously we're talking about right now You make a profile you can access these groups and then get in on all the discussions and things that they're talking about our First group that I will mention and I love this group because it's just filled with cool discussions is mental BDSM Have you ever been to that one? I actually joined that one after I saw it became an affiliate because I started looking at some of the topics It's a great. It's just a gold mine and they're their catch phrases a friendly place to discuss any and all aspects of the mental side of our lifestyle Which I thought was very good That sounds great Our next affiliate that joined this week is rope bondage fee again another one I joined after I Know Here and their mission statement is the best. Sorry.
It says rope rope rope rope rope rope rope rope rope rope rope rope bondage It is a group completely dedicated to rope bondage and they say hey We appreciate all types of bondage, but here is where we talk about rope bondage So if you have questions and curiosities about you know types of rope how to tie you know different ways to do ropes stuff Then that's a great group for that. They're on our FET life We have a page on FET life on our Turn it over to pervert a podcast calm and it links directly to these groups. The other one is daddy girl relationships That's more my thing for sure as awesome daddy of joy and some girl over there A safe place to come and share your ideas and ask questions about daddy girl relationships in the group Maybe not so much in the pervert So these are our new group affiliates Please go check them out You can check them out on our FET life profile pervert a podcast on FET life or on our page on turn NATO now Let's get into some of the FET life topics. All righty.
So we're gonna talk about why do male submissives confuse horniness with submission? This was fantastically written It's an older post but it was back on K&P by rock in Y sub and he writes about his Interpretation of what submission means and how he is sick and tired of supposed submissive males who only seem to be interested in the rocks off He goes on to say that in reality reality of submission entails Basically doing what she wants not what you want and he asked if the only thing you're asking your top to do is things Like cockle her for orgasm or cross-dressing or you know It's a really part of your submission to lick her pussy These are not done in the spirit of submission. These are done for gratification of the bottom and he goes on and he's very passionate about What it is to be a submissive. I have to agree with a lot of points.
He made I Love how he refers to the these kind of people as the do me subs. I love that I love that. Yeah, that's what they are. Yeah, there's there's a person in particular Obviously I'm not gonna say names, but he can he constantly complains about his top and says how she's not dominant enough And she doesn't hit me hard enough and this at the other I'm sorry that is not as submissive at that point you are you're a masochist Don't don't trams around with the label of submissive if you're gonna talk shit about how you're not getting your needs met and how You're not you're not you're top is not doing what she want her to do or at least you're not submissive to that dominant Is another way to put it?
I mean if dominance is inspired and submission is inspired I don't want to say that it's a hard and fast rule that if you want something because even in the post it goes on to talk About it's not bad. No, and he does want stuff Yeah, that's part that I love about the post when he says there's nothing wrong with these things if you want to be a cross dresser If you want to be forced to do something that's great Just don't call yourself as submissive because you're not that's not being submissive That means that you're either interhumiliation play you're into cross dressing you're into Voyeurism anything you want to watch her with another guy you're into voyeurism that doesn't mean you're submissive It's when you come it's when they confuse the two and I have to say that a couple of weeks ago I was talking a friend of mine and he was asking so how did I went to a particular femme-dont party and he said how was I said You know it was just filled with a bunch of predatory men and he just laughed his ass off He'd wait a minute. That was a femme-dont party How can there be predatory men there and I said because they're not submissive and they have this Predatory vibe about them where they're just looking for someone who's gonna do for them what they want them to do And that is not a submissive so just own up to that I want up to the fact that that's what you want if you want to be called a bottom if you want to be called You know a masochist or you want to be called something along those lines That's fine and he talks about in in this he talks about submission is what you guys make it You know and he this is his interpretation just like this is Kathy nice interpretation of what it is I've had people I've played with where they or they asked to play and all they're interested in is a little light CBT Sensation play and forced orgasm. That means you want me to kind of rub you gently slack your balls around a little bit and make and jerky off Absolutely not I go clean my goddamn tires go go go go During my adventures in topping that happened a little bit last year because I got pissed off So I was like I'm gonna try this And I mean I had I had a good experience and it was a it was a submissive male who knew that I was really a submissive female That was looking to try out my switchy side and I basically felt like I was service-topping because I was doing basically What he wanted me to do I didn't want to make him with hold orgasms.
I wanted his orgasm It wasn't that didn't help me I wasn't getting what I wanted out of it by making him not come so it did feel really servicey to me But it was in that situation because I was still learning so I needed him to kind of guide me towards what he wanted Because I didn't know what I was doing on the top side and then after that I was like you know I'm happy on the bottom side and I'm sitting over here right now what I'm doing See the thing is if you had said no I want your orgasm, that's the top side Yeah, that would have been the top side But I would have been the submission that he would have given it to so what you're saying is that this is only about guys right? Seems like you guys are gonna bitch later when they sing my song being about girls I just want to make sure that we do it to a little bit Greedy bottom is a greedy bottom and you need to understand that if you're giving service to somebody or you feel You know what is the word submission? We talked about that either last week of the week before where submission is usually not something that you want to do It doesn't mean you can't enjoy it or it's not something you like But in general the focus of that is the person that I am submitting to this is what they want if they want and I you know there was an experience with somebody that I knew that they had a lot of stress in their life and They were going through something that they had to get done and they had somebody who claimed to be in service to them in a slave And and they said hey, you know what I need right now I just need you to back off and be there when I need you But I really need to do this thing because this has to be done and this person who goes around and brags about being the greatest slave and submissive in the entire world kept Contacting her and saying I need this I need this. Why don't you see me?
Why won't you peg me? Why won't you do this? You know and it's like well, that's not what you're supposed to do mistress or whatever dumb a dominant female dominant asked you to do Yeah, she said this is what I need if you're really gonna be of service to me then give me what I need and it doesn't mean You can't ask for things It doesn't mean if you're a submissive you don't have your own choices You can't negotiate that and it doesn't mean that if you're a dominant you don't like giving your submissive pleasure I think what we're here and talks about that as well He says communication between any of these relationships is crucial and there is nothing wrong with a dominant wanting to do something for your Submissive or give pleasure or if hey, I know you really like this kind of play But what he's saying is those who are but just strictly pushing for their yeah, basically You're just here to get off and you just like the to wear titles which you know I love so much. Yeah, it's from the from because I don't think because when I first read this It didn't really resonate too much with me because I don't have a lot of experience on the top side as a female But on the bottom side I like being able to tell my tops what I like and what I want and I've said when I want a specific thing I like this kind of a scene or that kind of scene I've heard a bit Tell boogie.
I want a specific type of scene I think there's a problem with saying this is something I want it's up to the time The dominant to say yes or no. I'm not saying give this to me or I'm walking I'm saying but this is a thing I'd be interested in I don't think there's a problem with that now not at all And it's all about how you present it, but if you're only going hey, I want this this isn't this or else Yeah, greedy bottom is an old term. Okay, so where the next one we're gonna be talking about is by underscore Beth underscore And it's called BDSM based relationships versus relationship based BDSM I actually like this one. Yes, it's really cool She talks about how over the years the way that she's looked for partners has changed because in the beginning what she used to do Is look at a list of kinks where she was treating it like a checklist in order to find a person who ticked all of her boxes In other words BDSM was the primary consideration for her But now she sees it completely differently instead she views BDSM as something which blossoms out of relationships first She finds those with whom she has a connection and then once the connection is established She looks for I love this quote what sexy fantastic mind-blowing BDSM play it can be used for can she connect with them physically?
Can she learn from them etc? So the reason I love this post is because She says that this change in perspective has completely turned around how she views people She says I feel like I'm starting to see people in the community around me not defined by BDSM But by the wonderful amazing people who they are I mean individuality without titles who knew? And what I wanted to ask all of you guys is did you have you experienced this kind of change when you first came into the community? Where you kind of look because I think we were all looking at them as like these check boxes I used to also I said these are my this is my specialist I started a profile in that life and this is what I want who's gonna you know match up where who's gonna align with my kinks That's how I used to see it whereas now I'm more like I want to get to know the person better and that enhances the relationship 100 full for me on my end of it.
It's it's that I've come on the opposite It's definitely there are certain things about this I really I could like I love how the person was able to find comfort in the relationships and stop looking at the relationships They were in as practice for their next master. Yeah, that's I loved the fact that they can just acknowledge and embrace what the current relationships give them and what they can bring out of that but as far as I'm for me I'm I'm kind of a pig I guess My sexy pig No Probably one of the reasons that I don't jump in and out of relationships very frequently is that I want both me being greedy What I want I want the connection and the BDSM. I can't I can't do one without the other just doesn't That's it. I just any both so you're an ethical greedy horse let You know what I loved about when she said that she first makes a relationship with them and then finds what she can get out But it's not always sex or play sometimes she can find a great mentor Sometimes she can find a great friend who she can confide in it's not there's so much that you can get out of another human being I have great play and almost no sex.
Yeah, I mean with Mark Like hey, I mean almost You know but most of the play I have is without sex absolutely can have one without the other but for a relationship I need both the connection and the BDSM. They she also said that she was a it helped with her being her poly to is this is it She did mention that it was a poly situation where she could start What helps was she didn't have to define people into certain roles and she can appreciate them for what and who they are without any kind of limitations on them would you say as a switch as you and Kathy both as switches see It just seems like a more fluid position for somebody who really identifies as a switch And I love the entire Zen concept stay in the present fuck the titles allow the person to motivate that and as as a switch Who can be either the top of the bottom or identifies that or is comfortable with going down that road I think it seems more organic for somebody who switches Because now you can just meet whoever develop that relationship and maybe you're just going to develop a top relationship with that person Maybe you're going to develop a bottom relationship. What do you guys think about that? For me it is it is about the individual because I need to have something whatever it inspires I am normally top heavy so my my radar is normally looking for someone to beat But occasionally I do find the people and expand out those who I feel the need to bomb to yeah I totally agree I am not only a switch but I am also bisexual and I have this really strong sadistic streak that no one sees that often So I can play really hard, but I also am a total poor.
Yes And so that's just motivated by whoever it is. Yeah, I love playing sensually. I like playing light I don't like being a service top so there's really I love so many aspects of BDS and more I know all that I'm trying to make it sound nice really I'm just a whore you like all the thing is true My opinion well I do but I'm kind of I Really love the Zen in my relationships and friendships with people But if I'm going to actually be and spend time with somebody then then I have a checklist There are things that I need and expect It's not always that way sometimes the person you know it develops that way, but in general I really I I'm I like being kinky and I don't want to go to a non-kink relationship again even if I have a great connection with somebody I don't really have like deep emotional connections there And that's like a big thing that comes up all the time in my relationships is I'm not hyper I don't have a lot of those connectee oxytocin generated type of feelings So for me, I really just make decisions like I I don't want to have a non-kink relationship I don't want to have a relationship where it goes this way that way I this is what I want and I find people that want what I have to offer and so I'm the opposite end and I'm I'm completely okay with that but I understand for people that really like that connection and relationship Go for it, knock yourself out. Yeah, and in dating now, I'm I'm exposed to a lot of people who are Not necessarily kinky what I'm looking for in the ones that I agreed about with is someone who's at least open to the idea of maybe Maybe they hadn't been exposed to it before but someone who's got to put on the kink for me I already know that that doesn't work because that's how my marriage was and and eventually defaults come back And he was not kinky and I wasn't getting my needs met so it does definitely need to be there great posts Good-fed lifestyle go to a tornado and look at our fed life page check out our group of idiots What evils would do harm to your dude's sausage or femtaco?
How do you protect yourself from germs in your kinky play space? These questions and more answered by our nurse that loves to hurts Whether you need it or not So today we are talking about cleanliness. I know it's kind of seems like you rant But go figure health clean what's a cleanliness that is next to kinkyness This is a follow-up to the last kinky health There was a few people who reached out about questions about cleaning like their sex toys and why mad at sides better And you know what else can you use so I figured let's answer those first Let's talk about sex toys. There are so many out there nowadays with different types of skins and vibrations and this twirls this way and this touches this and this goes I'm just squirting little I heard the ground He likes the sex toys.
Well the thing is we want to to first know check with your manufacturer before cleaning But this is a quick and dirty 101 how to make sure your personal toys stay clean and this is with Yeah, let's not be like it was the chair. It was the chair. You just farted on our show. I hope you realize that If you're cleaning your toys if it is just your personal toy a lot of times just open water is all you need if it's a One that has the vibrations make sure you try and avoid getting certain parts wet Otherwise your toy won't work anymore But if you're going to a dungeon or you share with multiple partners, I always suggest using a condom It makes clean up a lot easier than just soap and water and for my personal stuff using a disinfectant like matteside We asked that many people asked why why why do we love matteside?
Well, I love mattes Everything when left on for two minutes someone had asked what about Lysol? Well, I did some research and if you look into it says kills 99.9% of germs of bacteria with a little star Yes, and you go down and look at the little star says when you use properly or as directed Which means it has to stay there for four minutes wet. Yeah, submerged Basically and it kills lots of germs for flu and staff and if that's if it's just a general like play area But we use bodily fluids and they didn't mention anything they mentioned herpes, but they didn't mention HIV and they didn't mention gonorrhea clomidia it didn't mention any killing any of the STIs which if you were at a dungeon that concerns me Especially if you leave it on to four minutes I'd rather go hard and heavy and basically napalm it with something like matteside because it also didn't even mention killing HIV Which is another huge concern I'd like to point out hospitals don't disinfect with Lysol They don't do yes smelly die on motherfucker So for all those out there who were wondering I would prefer in my place basis to use things like metaside or the heavy or duty German sites I love that you call Matt aside napalm is it really that potent? Oh, yeah, it kills like all the thing I mean everything is you know, obviously we're not gonna talk as it what do you get a lot of this information from the CDC, right?
What is it? What is that? The CDC at CDC calm or actually dot gov and what is that? It's the Center for Disease Control and it's a government sponsored Basically if you're reading through stuff, they're gonna give you lots of studies lots of backed up information The one of the other things that was brought up was does alcohol like a lot of dungeons still just use alcohol rubbing alcohol as now to wipe down things and I did research and It really is not again.
There are better products out there They may be more expensive, but there was a study that showed out of there was three bloodborne pathogen outbreaks when using I said, yeah, so I know I don't know the details because I didn't look it up I know that different materials also require different care needs So just like you said at the beginning check the the manufacturer the packaging instructions will usually tell you because there are some materials That alcohol will kill it and there are some that you need to use soap and water for because that's really the only one Again, that's if it's your toy I don't care what it is if I'm using a toy on more than one person I'm gonna use metaside or some sort of cleaner or leave it Yeah, I mean if you don't have condoms, you know shit happens, you know You're always like well I want to put this kind of unlike a touchy whatever you don't have one whatever now You're stuck with a toy that you're gonna use on other people So like all rinse, you know, like the head of the Hitachi wand is a little porousish and so you want to make sure you clean that off Yeah, whatever the marshmallow heads the fake Hitachi's the photo tachi so you're gonna I clean that you know with like you know rinse it off first and then I'll spray it with matteside I'll let it sit. I'll just let it sit just yeah I wouldn't doubt just spray it down and let it air dry Yeah, let it air dry and then of course you don't want a matteside residue on somebody else's pussy or balls You want to re wipe it off afterwards and now we start getting into like things like vloggers leather toys petals things like that And how do you clean these things and everything that you know we've looked up There's nothing gonna be a hundred percent if you're using it on multiple people if you get blood in something you have to wait until that blood is gone Or dies just completely dies So if you flog someone if you use a leather toy on someone and you it bleed on it Then not only you're gonna have to spray it with matteside or whatever But you're gonna have to leave that thing alone for a month or two and the whole wives tail about just sticking in the sun It helps disinfect it now I heard back when they were like talking about care of toys They're like oh, yeah, you just wipe it down and you put it in the sun for like a weekend It's a nice tan It goes to fees beach resort and cockwalks or with their brother douchebag But yeah, no, it's it's it I always like leaning on the side of caution So if you are gonna have multiple people use a heavier duty disinfectant absolutely god damn it Keep your neck use your bleach and get lots of toys. Yeah, why don't people send us toys? Do we have sponsors yet?
No, we don't but if you're interested in sponsoring I just go to a party podcast and she built up. You know, I went five toys Check this out by toys so we each try one and then give one away You know what I want to sponsorship to we should have a like a whole episode of like us just dreaming in fees garage Well sponsor Sea world the sea amusement park for our friends in other countries that don't know what sea world is I want sea alice. I want like my own sponsorship to seales levitra and viagra So I can every time I fuck I can say this erection brought to you by See alice and then have like a little jingle that comes along Wait, what would be every time in my head? Okay, let's move on It's a fraction Sometimes irritated Sex life is complicated.
It's be on fee Especially with her brother Okay, so the first thing actually happened during that conversation that my brother was cock-lucking So they were talking about where they live because this guy is actually local he lives somewhere in LA. Yeah So So they were talking about where they leave my cousin was there and talk about the marina del Rey blah blah blah and then my cousin was talking about When he lived in Hollywood and he and his now wife But then girlfriend ended up at some random club and he's like and it turned into this like dungeon and it was like a dungeon So immediately I'm like oh I have a story I can participate and totally get this guy interested in me right now And my brother just looks at me goes no stories No, I don't want to hear about this and I was like, are you sure he's your biologic brother? Can we like end this? So I was like but but my cousin he got to say that he went and not only that he went but that his girlfriend got flogged at this dungeon party Of his other hand raised.
Yes, it is. Why was your brother donning you? I'm gonna string this motherfucker up. I is nuts at he's pissing me off.
I'm like, what if he's lying And we're like gonna go chill this guy like a frankenstein lynch mob and she's just moving So that I can get the entire narrative No, just so you can get our sympathy with my kid brother. So so so I have to not tell the story there because my brother my brother is not letting you tell my story and later on that night My brother and his wife went off to bed because you know two children or whatever and just because their sex life sucks And my cousin and my cousins both sets of cousins there were a lot of family members But there are two sets of cousins both married and so they and their spouses were both there We're drinking whatever and I said so this subject came up again about this in this experience They had a dungeon. I was like so I'm just gonna tell you guys right now. I go to dungeons all the time I'm you know involved with this podcast.
I'm kind of you know Involved in the community and kind of known on this website for writing about stuff in the kink world And I came out to them and they handled it beautifully They one of my cousins had so many like great questions to ask about so what are the different types of kinks and what they were They didn't make me feel weird. They didn't make me feel dirty. They were like wow this really interesting and it did feel to them when they went to that club That these were just normal people who happened to do a thing like if they had gone to a choir club and people happened to be singing Like this is just a thing that people do I didn't walk in and feel weird about it It was like oh these people are normal people that happen to be doing this thing and it was such a great experience That now I want to come out to the whole family not my time still not ready to come out to my parents But it's coming let's just chloroform your brother before that By the way on the airplane got really pissed off because I mentioned that I bought condoms for the first time in 10 years Seriously, you know what have a barbecue. I'll have a conversation with them Bullshit Scary right now This is fucking bullshit.
No, this is fucking crap if you are repressed and you don't want to hear about it fine Don't fucking tell and put your shit on you that's like I am his older sister, you know, that's when you slap in the fucking face. Just like yeah, look everyone's clapping Well one of our brother studio audiences. She's met my brother. He's My brother.
Yeah, he's that he's a nice guy. He doesn't want to hear about a sister doing anything remotely sexual Well, just fucking prove is what he is. He doesn't have to listen, but he doesn't have to be like he's also part Hispanic He should be used to hearing about his family doing so yes. Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute Wasn't that just entirely prejudice? What is your ethnicity? Okay?
Okay, we pick up our guess that was like one of our first comments from a guest we're gonna spank Are you gonna spin the wheel of kink doing it? Okay, you know spin the wheel of kink your brother should come and spin the wheel I have a feeling it's gonna land on sounding genital torture Non-anesthetic vasectomy play We'll do rubber band play what else he came out this And by the way my part My brother and his wife are aware of my kinky tendencies He just doesn't want details, but we were talking about the podcast he was asking where we advertise what we don't He doesn't want to hear the content, but he wants me to succeed. So it's kind of a weird oh he should do that Maybe succeed and you're getting like some dick I'm working on it. I think that's we'll look look look all right.
Let's bring this down. Okay, check it out This is why we have perverted podcast Is so hopefully that people who are really fearful because that's what this whole cock-blocking thing was about This was his fear of his own identity. This was his fear of his sister being more open to life Then he is this is about his being able to control what his vision of a family is supposed to be all the fear And that's why we have perverted podcast. So hopefully people not just kinky people But non-kinky people and we'll talk about that term later that is the other term people use But I think it's awesome, you know, I hear these stories we hear these stories and this gets all fired up But in general I know I'm digressing but Cathy gives me the nose-picking sign I just think that's one of the reasons why we go out and we talk about these things and have the conversations and show just like your cousins found That we are normal people that are just disgustingly amazing perverts.
Absolutely. Yeah, so the other one is just a quick Thank you. It's about my outsourcing tendencies since I don't have my like one person that I would prefer to have one person that does all the things I oh we're outsourced? I This time it wasn't you guys it was other people so you guys are different.
You're in a special category of people I actually enjoy and play with What do you mean outsourced? So play not play other things I needed so I'm going to explain but I um, I tend to need not need want some dumplings in my life sometimes and I don't have a full-time dumb So I sometimes I need it from other areas and I was I was procrastinating on packing before I left So I I kind of jokingly texted to a friend of mine I was like I really need someone to like dom me to pack you right now and he goes I'll do it and he did and because of him I ended up taking a sweater because he pulled out his daddy dumb voice And he's like well honey, I'd be cold. You need to take a sweater and I was like it's Mexico It's like gonna be under degrees. I don't I packed a sweater which I did use on the plane Um, but in areas like that where I needed I needed something to get me to do with thing I didn't want to do the same way I have boogie helped me with certain things like I didn't even crave a cigarette once this whole trip.
Thank you very good. Um, so Um, so thank you to that person who helped me pack that was awesome Um, then thank you to uh my friend bacon who was awesome all week long sending emails every morning being like how's the family treating you? How are you doing like he was my support because he has a crazy family too and you know We kind of understand each other on that level So I needed that connection with someone and he was that for me all week and then another friend who hadn't heard from in a while Kind of helped me with the lack of kink for a week by sending me dirty dirty text messages And then I I sent him dirty dirty text messages and pictures back And that's your phone I am Twice today. Oh, so anyway, the reason why I can't share most of my uh vacation photos are because they're very very dirty Although I did show them to mark or Your via jana So the next now she's leaving in affairs So we need to get uh mark a glass dildo with a camera inside of it so we can have her fuck A and see inside her pussy.
Okay, sure with the biggest look Kathy is down. She is my fucking partner in crime today So she will not be walking away. I will not wrap things up I just want to say I appreciate all the different roles that the different people in my life play to help me feel like i'm getting what I need Until I find my person who will be all the things. Thank you guys.
Cool. Nice. That's awesome. Good job.
Yay. Good job Yeah, it is i'm just switching shit around because we got some other shit to do Okay, we got some other shit to do i'm just taking control. You know what time this is You know what time this is? It's probably into that his favorite segment I don't know who those are but god damn what I love that you love okay.
So here's what it is every month We do this our perverted podcast listeners give us a topic to write some funky fresh rhymes about and then we do it and we bring it And this month is pirates Pervy All right All right, you gonna do this? All right, we're just gonna go around the same way we do All right, all right, let's do it when you go see met a guy while out to see cruising for a bruise on the ss Horny with an anal hook up his sleeve introducing to a fellow named one i'd willy I shivered his timber or was that his dick my poop deck was flooded when you plundered my clip He looks gnarling catchy on your knees wench then shoved his peg leg into my booty All drenched the part of this story that's so freaking dope most pervy pirates have skills with them rope Cathy you gonna bust it out? All right here we go Like a pirate day. Yeah, it's a thing on september 19th.
It's a pirate party fling They throw off all their suits all those stuffy clothes that match and instead they don't hook and a spiffy eye patch They greet their friends with i-e and a bit of our matey But after all that grog is thirsty get a little hazy they raise a toast and scream drink up me hearties Yo, ho give a stink item the schmuck who dares the order of or go from here things just get worse and their antics just get bolder as they offer a fake cracker The fake bird on her shoulder and they're just having fun just a little play because that's mental no tail So that's the hoigang way, but when they pay the tab with their trusty piece of hate makes me wonder if instead we should sign a section 8 Oh wow That one You can do it. I had to write this for her because you didn't write her own rap. So I said, okay. I'll write a rap for you Give it a try you can do it.
Okay. We call that a check hike check. I I lost it I'm a horny winch, but I just don't do pirates unbay then smelly. I fucking like pirate.
Oh, pyramades start again. You may start you may start again Do it I'm a horny winch, but I just don't do pirates. I'm bathing smelly like fucking primates fungus balls with rancid breath laying on top of me I'd get rather choose that You don't write your own rap you read open I practice you I The seven seas I pillage on plunder every sense I speak begins with our I know I've been a little too long because the cabin boy looks good when I drink me Grog Eating lines so I don't get scurvy dreaming of winches with hips so curvy a horny pirate is no way to live so I jump in the water and Fucks a squid She pointed out that you had one I If you have an idea for an ugly bad rap you can send it to pervertedbodgas at gmail.com I don't know where we're at now. We're gonna do random floater We got someone here that wants to spin the wheel of kink we have a wheel of king and official big giant mark Can you say can you spin very a little bit our wheel of king?
You spin the wheel and whatever it lands on is what you have to take Is that all fizzing is that leather slapping on that is leather slapping? This is an official it's six feet high it weighs about a hundred pounds someone built this for threshold a year a few years ago And we have two of them and we haven't used it so we're like we're gonna take it to perverted podcast We have ourselves a wheel of king so every time we have someone that we'll go ahead and spin it to then somebody can win Whatever it lands on and our guest in the out what name do you go by? TMG busy B TMG busy B so you're gonna spin the wheel of king huh? Whatever it lands on that's what it's gonna be right go for it Oh god anal fizzing please win anal fizzing go over the wheel now give it a good spin I wonder she gets my little one no wait wait no it's going it's going Oh you lucky lucky girl so um shell spaker this is gonna spank her go get up there Right go get up there.
We'll now put your putter bottom your head goes there your bottom goes under the microphone Yes, you know don't you got a sexy little peacock skirt thing going on now wait wait are you gonna bring up scooter back a little Oh, that's good right under that microphone so we can get that soon That was warm up care you can make noises if you feel she's trying to bite her lip Okay, and for third and final Our first official wheel of kink thank you Next we're gonna put a slot on the wheel of kink vaginal sounding Isn't that just like I know you're either sounding for women. No, it's a shorter. Oh, you guys are all down if it's a dude right? Sound your e-mail your research is much shorter we can sound your dick too You can sound my dick you can put my dick in your ear and then hear me when I'm coming how's that sound We do it all the time so I just wanted to start making more jingles because I was sad and lonely when Jingle's for perverted mail Let's get into the no no no no let's get let's uh yeah I'll talk about the one because we got an email from guy in Australia and I didn't ask his permission to give his name But I can give the country because you know it's pretty big And I just you know I don't like a lot of compliments I don't like people gushing and you know gushing gushing gushing whatever I don't like when they're only a stoke talented because I'm not so they don't say to me But if they did I wouldn't like the gushing but this was just This really made me and I showed it to all you guys and I said this is what we're here for So the guy emails and says hey I've been listening to the podcast I really you know really enjoy you know you guys are funny It's a lot of fun and he said my friend who I volunteer with suicited On monday and so he was you know obviously dealing with that and and basically he says you know what I went out into the forest And I listen to your guys podcast and whenever my mind would wander you guys speaking away That just brought me back and I just wanted you know I'm grateful for that Touching so amazing so I you know first off to that guy and then he said and then he added and it was really weird because he said What's up with fish?
I'd like to know actually in reference to our many fish sex fantasies with phi No, no, no, that is don't put a we I was never here. You were there. This was not down with the fish We're gonna bring a flounder and have you beat phi with it on a show and then a culmination of all things goodness I would prefer a trout oh trout rainbow trout rainbow trout not a round trout which is an actual trout but not it's never anyway Let's get back to this wait. What never mind yet.
Yes, but that is that was incredibly touching As an entertainer all I've you know besides pussy and money which is why any guy wants to be a rock star period get over it Um as a storyteller and as an entertainer when I was a kid I had a really fucking rough childhood and abusive and all that stuff So my whole childhood the only happy moments that I really could grab was when I listened to my music or I listened to my favorite comedians Or I got into characters from movies or whatever and those storytellers Took me for just a little bit of time out of my shitty life So when I became a musician an entertainer whatever and that became my goal I said wouldn't it be cool if one day I could do something and create something that takes someone out of their shitty day for a couple Minutes and so when I saw this I was like oh We're we're doing it. That's yeah So I not to toot our own horn, but I don't expect to change anybody's life But it is really nice sitting here with you guys and bullshitting and and all the work that we do to just you know Help people just have a better moment than the moment they're having Yeah, it's crazy. I still have no words. Yeah, so that was awesome.
That was a great moment. What do you got the? Alright, so we got an email hmm This is actually great. So my non-kinky friends are usually aware of my kinky preferences But they don't judge me and they love me anyway I feel like this is what everyone wants in life to find people that love and accept us as we are I agree with that So the idea of calling them vanilla kind of pisses me off I feel like calling a human vanilla is essentially telling someone that they are bland or flavorless and it feels slightly insulting and degrading Some people love vanilla ice cream.
I understand that the preference or love or some but for generally it implies boring The whole reason I'm writing this email is to present the other side of this We live in a world where we've made our own community to be accepted without judgment And yet we have created this word that seems to have taken a degrading level of judgment on people solely because they don't participate in our lifestyle My goal with this conversation piece is simple. Please remind people not to be a dick To which I say amen This is my when I saw this I This has been one of my biggest peeves and it's just if you can be derogatory be derogatory say fuck you You know, I'm a motherfucker, you know be be derogatory But just understand that no matter how much you want to play it like oh, it's a nice word What it's not I have had at least four examples in my life where someone's like why are you calling me vanilla? Just because you're kinky so my sex is boring. So my life is boring It's a derogatory term.
You just have to understand that maybe it's just get over it It's a derogatory term to call people if you're using it in a derogatory or if you know when you're talking It's like saying oh oh the confederate flag. It's just about history. It doesn't matter if you don't like it or not I think it's cute. So I'm just gonna put it on my car Well, guess what some people find it offended offensive some people think the name of the washington red skins is offensive So it's what pisses me off is people who try to make excuses that it's not a derogatory term to some people it is so most people in the Community yes, you're absolutely right, but I happen to like vanilla sex So if I'm saying can't we just have vanilla sex tonight?
I'm not using it that way and But I agree with you and I understand what this person is saying simply because in the community We band together and we're so sick and tired of being a shit upon and told what we're doing is wrong that we take the erroneous Make the erroneous choice to then turn on them and say what you do is fucked up. Yeah, the people I was I mean when you speak on panels. Yeah, I mean this is these are people that are non-king people look how easy it is to say non-king Yeah, there's kink and non-king now when we're among each other I have a song called death of vanilla sex We sang it yeah win a derogatory term. I own it I don't like sex that is boring and bland and my term my interpretation of that word is that it's derogatory and if I use it That's how I use it and if you don't like it go fuck yourself But when I talk to people who are outside of the community then I say you know that song You you called the sex vanilla not a person vanilla and that might be the distinction if you're calling someone vanilla it does come off Do she I mean I look at it this way if you are trying to do an outreach kind of thing it is generally not good to insult the person You're trying to Logic Because I don't care honestly it's one of those things if I hear someone I prefer if you're again if you're trying to do an outreach Situation I I will say non-king But I do sympathize with those who have been told their entire lives that they're a pervert that they're disgusting that they are sick and depraved And anything they do sexually that is not in line with anyone else is fucking filthy and something to be ashamed of if those people want to call What is not what they do something else?
I have no problem with it when you have the old-school guys It's like and I'm gonna use it is when like the gay community took the word fag back I don't care. I won't say it my brother's gay. I refer to him as gay I will never call someone a fag but if someone wants to use that term that is up to them Just I wouldn't suggest it any outreach situation or in a gay bar like you know The old days when you know you know that that you know gays were you know seemed you know the image was timid or whatever man those guys But now it's like oh you're gay. Oh, thanks I've been working out a little bit and it's like yeah whatever fuck them I work out But I do I do understand where you guys are coming from and yes it isn't something.
I do don't care Fair enough. I just like people to own it like if I'm gonna use a word then like in comedy or whatever I'm just gonna own that it's some people are gonna be insulted by this and like the word bitch cunt I use that all the time bitch cunt and there's women that like though don't even speak don't even think that word around me And there comes a point to where you have to tell people hey You know what this is how I talk and I don't have just like abysses I don't have a desire to change how I talk for you So maybe our answer is don't talk to me, but I can't be surprised if I go into a room full of people who are not kinky And I start talking oh you're vanilla. It's a bit. It's okay.
No, I like some people like vanilla I like vanilla. I'm vanilla with chocolate chips, you know It's like fucking douche just own you're being derogatory to some people will be insulted by it Take that to another I'm gonna sing a completely derogatory song because it's comedy Oh Where are they going? You're sticking with me on this you're on it. Okay, look in Alright, so if you and abyss don't like this song of mine, but Kathy and I are gonna own this together by ourselves because it's it's a horrible song But I don't mind it's a good song And it just shows the point that sometimes being derogatory is fun as long as you play ukulele behind it Here we go What me stinks you better take a shower or at least a douche if you ever want me to go down on you see it's living I Once new a girl name is a fella her pussy smelled like the breath of Godzilla I've been down the lick it and I got a surprise the shit's not so bad apart the skin of my eyes And don't like the pussy that stinks if you ask me that's what me stinks you better make a shower or at least a douche If you ever want me to go down on you look at her face Come on Kathy do it.
I once knew a girl her name was a Mary her Lady baby coach was thinking Harry she took me to the fountain to make a wish I wish the snatch didn't smell like they're rotten fish Oh, man don't like the pussy that stinks the news These things you better take a shower or at least I do ship you ever want me to go down on you Hey boogie what just so you know women don't like going down on a stinky pussy neither Kathy can we finish the Fuck you you're fucking whatever. I'm sorry you're there That's for you to hear that truth, but most men won't be dishonest with shoes You may think I'm stupid and full of shit, but at least you now know why men won't suck you play Oh man don't like the pussy that stinks with me if you Take a shower or at least a douche you ever want to be to go down on you men don't like men don't like the pussy that stinky Koo-choo We never are in temple with this It's a stinky pussy sign Instruction in the song you know go fuck yourself clean I had this whole other thing thank you for listening and remember to tell your friends about us if you're in the Los Angeles It's around the areas visit the threshold that Oregon find out about joining their kinky family Thank you to all of our guests and host to be If you have any questions comments or ideas please email us at perverted podcast at gmail.com and visit the perverted podcast.com And finally eight Please consider becoming a monthly member of bet life so we have something to actually talk about each week So next time enjoy being a damn kinky washi a fucking couch self And your balls, okay watch balls next week you fucking write a rebuttal with something you said all right. That's it. We're out of here