A Custody Evaluator Explains Why Reunification Can Go Wrong

Send me a question or comment Family court can turn your private life into a public argument, and the people asked to “sort it out” are often working inside messy rules and even messier incentives. We sit down with clinical social worker Erin Hillesso to unpack what custody evaluations and parenting evaluations actually do, how they differ from a guardian ad litem, and why neutrality is a skill you have to build on purpose, not a vibe you claim. If you’ve ever wondered how judges make decisions in high conflict divorce, this conversation gives you a clear map of the process and the pressure points. We also go straight at reunification therapy and the explosion of private pay reunification programs, including controversial reunification camps. Aaron explains how rigid “everything is alienation” thinking can erase real abuse, how coercive control and post-separation abuse can hide in plain sight, and why ethical reunification work starts with evaluation and safety screening before anyone pushes contact. Along the way, we talk about why psychometric testing is often overused in family court, how reports get weaponized, and what it’s like to testify when attorneys are trying to discredit you. The behind-the-scenes reality matters too: state oversight can range from strict rosters to the wild west, licensing complaints can be used as retaliation, and interstate licensing can complicate cases where parents live across state lines. Aaron also shares perspective on estrangement, culture, and why one-size explanations rarely fit real families. If you care about child welfare, family systems, and the ethics of court-involved therapy, you’ll leave with sharper questions and more practical insight. Subscribe, share this with someone navigating family court, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Doc David