A Donation Family Vacation

Hello and welcome to the Get to Life Podcast where we have conversations about organ tissue and ideonation and transplantation. You can always find us at thegettidlife.org. I'm Roy Steele. I'm Joey Boudreau.

I'm Sarah Blakemore. Coming up on this episode. Our favorite card's about. I can't wait to hear all about their escapades.

And we're going to give you some tips for those stressed out parents out there. I'll be listening all that more on this episode of The Get to Life. Hang on. We are so excited here on The Get to Life Podcast because they're bad.

What? A dynamic duo. Joe, do you want to do the honors? Yeah, right.

I mean, it's our favorite card family. We know them affectionately as Pam and the problem, child. Yeah, I didn't say it. Pam and, well, Pam Cart and Leah Lopez, who of course, we've talked to them a couple episodes back, but both members of the Lopa family for years and years and years.

And even before they were with the Lopa family, actually, I knew Leah almost since she's born. Is that more back than me? You're aging yourself, too. I am.

I don't have to agree here. She's only like 20. Yeah, so Pam Cart serves as Lopa's forensic relations specialist and so good at what she does in making life happen. And then Leah Lopez is on my team, community educator here in the state of Louisiana.

And then you guys also share a connection to donation. I know we talked about it on the last podcast, but for those who are just joining us on this episode, Pam, you want to take a lead on that and tell us your tie to donation? Well, our tie to donation is many, many family and friends, but one special one is my son, Ryan Scott Court, who is also Leah's brother. And so that really ties us here.

But I've had where my brother was a pancreas kidney recipient. My sister was a tissue donor. My father-in-law was an eye donor. My sister-in-law's sister was an organ tissue and eye donor.

Our nephew was an organ tissue, eye donor. And my best friend when I was 14, that really kind of opened the door for organ donation for me was an organ tissue donor. And then my daughter-in-law's dad and sister were both tissue and eye donors. Wow, I only knew about some of those.

Wow. Yeah, we have a long link of donations. Talk about the family of things. Give me a left.

And then Ryan Bestrian, who died the same day with him, Travis Smith, was an organ tissue and eye donor. And we love that. I'm glad you brought that. That was one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about too.

And Leah, I'll bring you into the conversation. You've been promoting the Rose Parade. You guys did that as a family. Ryan was on the donate life float, which we talk about that's on New Year's Day, millions and millions of eyes watching the Rose Parade and all of us looking for that one important float which you guys loved, the theme of that.

And you were also able to not only honor Ryan and Travis, but our other friends as well. So tell us about that journey, Leah. Oh, well, when we found out we were so excited that, excuse me, that we were chosen to go. It just meant so much to get to go and celebrate Ryan and the other heroes.

And just traveling there, we made it a family vacation. My mom and dad and I and my three kids went. My brother didn't get to go. He had to work.

So we rented an RV and headed out from Texas all the way to California. So we really got to enjoy each other and just celebrate Ryan and the things we wish we would have gotten to do with him also. One of the great things, and we were all talking about that, I think it all impacted us in a different way, was that you kind of took us along because you guys shared experiences from like spilled grit craziness throughout the whole journey. It made it so real for us watching you guys and experiencing it.

We didn't have to share that, but man, we're so grateful that you did. We were so glad to share that with y'all, you know, and then to share that journey with our kids and to visit the white sand dunes and the Grand Canyon and just to show them God's beauty and even in Ryan's death, the beauty of donation and those lives that we've got to save and that site that we got to enhance for those. It really impacted us and we wanted to show y'all the impact too because sometimes, you know, we don't always get to see the whole journey there. So we just want to make sure to share it with everybody.

Well, I want to talk to you guys because we're used to parades here in Louisiana, but you guys were in the big California and actually had a hand in helping to decorate the donate life float, which is made of all these flowers and organic materials. Like you put your hand on it. Like I think that's the coolest. You got to see Ryan's face on the float.

You got to see John Clark Perry's face on the float. Like talk to, I'm getting goosebumps. Like talk, can you guys about it? But tell us your impression and what that was like.

We talked to you before you went. But what was it like when you got there? Well, it is just an outstanding celebration of life. I mean, from every volunteer, everyone that is there, they start.

In January, building the float for the like 2023 float is now being built. And then we get to help decorate on the float. And one special thing. Well, when we first got there, we, you know, picked up our things and started meeting.

And we had the honor. We had did a rose in Travis's memory. And so we got to go place that that would be put on the float. And you get to read what the families or what we wrote for Travis out loud and place that flower.

And then that's the job I had when we went to the barn was to place the flowers donated around the world with sayings and we would read it out loud. And the first flower I picked and that born. So I counted as a God wink was from a medical examiner office. And I'm like, okay, I'm in the right place.

And so and then working with other families, sharing our story and the recipients. And then we had, you know, of course they didn't let me get on any scaffold to climb up. It's a good thing. The high things they kept me on the ground.

And that and and just, you know, you're there, you're doing your work in and it's just like a clock just tick tock. Everything's just coming together. The minutes are going by the night before the parade. You think, gee, how is this going to be ready?

But when it pulled up to get in line that night, they sent me pictures that Ryan had arrived. And it was complete and just beautiful. And we also had what we they call a sticker trading night and they give you the sheets of papers, you know, stickers of Ryan or John Clark Perry or and then you trade in the book. You meet with different families in this room and you go from tables kind of like a dating, you know, you go to table and yeah, and you trade each other's stickers and I'm telling you the recipients, I'm at a mother who son died waiting on a liver and then she five years later became a liver recipient because she made it one.

And, you know, to hear that story and to and I'm just telling recipients could not think it's enough and one recipient I'm at, she got a liver 37 years ago. Wow. But she had a very, very hard time and she's like, it's very hard for me to even talk to you and I said, well, you need to share why. And she said, because I've reached out to my family, but they never responded.

So you know, I was able to explain 37 years ago. They're not happening like they do today. But I said, here's the most important part, they gave you permission to live, to live. So they, that donor gave you permission.

So don't feel guilty for living. And do you know, they were from Nevada. She called her son and he came at next day to meet me that she felt it changed her life, that she was given permission, you know, and I just, just those experience, I mean, it's It's like being in a cozy room on a cold winter day. You're very humble and grateful for that blanket that you wrap down.

It just gives you that good feeling of family togetherness, celebration, and Adelia. It's an experience you wish everyone could experience. That's got to be just an amazing feeling for you, you know, going in. Of course, not, you know, not fully knowing what you were going to see, which, you know, not that it was going to be great.

Of course, you got your family. And I love your family by the way. I've been knowing even Vic and everyone else there for a long time. And so going on a trip with him has got to be a great experience, regardless of where you're going.

Wait, he'll still all get along now after the trip? Of course, they do. We're not going to have to make sure that it's not on. I'll have to make sure that people don't get to talk at all.

Just to me. But you know, so you're going in, not fully knowing, you know, and then, and it's like, and then being able to decorate the float and being able to see, you know, that final, you know, product. And then going from that to your dating game, sticker sharing. I love her descriptions.

I'm still there. It's just like, oh, it's such a feeling, a heart feeling. Like what I like to say, fill in my bucket type of thing that. Yeah, your cup is full.

Yes. You want to drink from the saucer. Yes. Because your cup is full.

And you know, the other thing too, when you're waiting for that float to come down, where like, we were on the mountainside, which was gorgeous. And the other side, the stadium is the camera sign. But we spot Holler and donate. They all are life, donate life, donate life.

And it just gets louder and it spreads down the street. And you just hear it. And then when that float showed, because we were, I think, number 20 in the parade. And in fact, we won the extraordinary.

And everybody is shouting donate life. And you know, that day before we had walked, well, don't ask Victor this one either. He said, hey, it's the mall was just five minutes away from where we were staying. And well, 11 miles later.

Another block. Yeah, just one more block. Point four point two. Anyway.

But people were lined up everywhere. Camping, sleeping on the street. But I'm going to tell you, having Victor, we knew everybody. Everybody.

I can see that. Your whole family. So Pam, I've heard you fall into the good graces of one lieutenant governor of the state of Louisiana, Billy Nungus. Yes.

Tell us about that. Billy. Yes. He was there with the Louisiana float, which they had multiple celebrities.

And you know, and he was doing his thing, but he came and sought us out. He wanted to meet that Louisiana family. And what was this donate life? And how could he help?

How could he get the word out about organ tissue and eye donation? He whatever he can do, PSAs, anything, he is on board to make sure Louisiana is better. We're better together. And he wants to do it.

And he just pictures with us and gave us his cell number. We were seeing those pictures. For those of you who don't know, that's Louisiana's lieutenant governor that she's referring to. As Billy said, they obviously made some great connections.

There was also a Louisiana float that was there. So I know Leah rushed over there. She was saying, Pam, I know you too, just to make that connection to say, hey, we're here too. And here's where we're from.

But I love that people in big places took the time out and knew it was important to do. And that's thanks to you guys. I actually have a question for Leah. So Leah, you're a donor family member.

Your brother was a donor. And now you have your own kids. I'm sure this was such a moment for you to teach your kids about donations. So tell me about them and their experience with learning about it.

And I'm sure they were just so excited. They were very, very excited to go. They know so much about donation as growing up in the donation realm with mom working for local when I was still in junior high and high school. I'll tell people all the time, most people do not sit around their dinner table and talk about donation, but that's a normal occurrence for us to talk about.

And being in our family has been so touched by donation from my brother to my cousin and grandparents, you know, and all of that. So they are very aware of the donation and things like that. But they were so excited to get to go and to learn more about Ryan. And my youngest, when Shine, my mom had had a picture of him in her room and he kept on saying, my son, your son, you got to get that picture out of that room.

He was scared of Ryan's picture. And we didn't know what he was talking about. We got to just share. And he was like, you know, Ryan was a nice guy.

And I said, he certainly was. And they're named after Ryan. My two boys, we have Duke Ryan and then Shine is Shine Scott. So it was just so good to get to experience that with them.

Yeah. Within your own family, they learned about Ryan and in the world because everybody was watching. You know, people love there was great. So I'm glad you all got to share Ryan with the world.

With the world. You are absolutely right, share with the world. I heard you even left pictures of him all over the world. Yes.

We had posters and Ryan and the float and he's in Arizona, New Mexico at the Grand Canyon. He wanted to be a geologist and conservationist. And we left him at Malibu Beach. He's overlooking the cliff and over to the beach and just anywhere and everywhere and like fans and, you know, just celebrated him every step of the way.

And then even at the Cadillac ranch, and Amarillo, that was our last stop. And so we got to sign the padlax and leave him there. And so we were excited about that now. It was 10 degrees.

That's a little time that the family kind of had a strain because my pictures in my eyes, I think frozen. And the grandkids, Knuckles were frozen at crying and Leah would say, my mother. I'm going to tell y'all. She goes, oh, it's not that cold.

Just wrap up in a blanket, you know, put a face mask on the block, the wind and all of that. So it's all the name on this car. It's really not that bad, Lord blessed it was minus minus two degrees, it felt like, you know, then my dad, he lost the RV. And so we can beat him back to RV and couldn't get in.

And I'm like, who do you think's going to steal this RV? I'm like, where'd you get over the car? This sounds like a sitcom. No, some things about an RV that every turn you make, if there is anything sitting anywhere down, that it's not at all that cabinet.

the grid flew off the cabinet had to wipe up a grid. It was an adventure to say the least, but when we were leaving the signs out, I had the bright idea because let me cross over this little, you know, threshold at the right. No, there had to be ground underneath, right? Because I could see a big rock.

Well, there was also probably like two feet of snow. Well, I stepped over and when I stepped, my whole leg went through the snow. I thought she was going to the canyon. Oh my God.

If you're on one saying other people were crazy earlier. I joined the crew. But I'm going to cross and talk and play him out as close as I could, you know? Yeah.

So me must say I won't do that again. We should have equipped them with GoPro cameras in the audience. Like, it's going to be a whole show. It's going to be a whole show.

We got to the Grand Canyon, you know, and they just give you this little map and they say, okay, enjoy your stay. And in fact, the guy that was the guard, he was from where we were in it, the Orbi, you know, from Minneapolis. So we talking with him and he said, yeah, didn't, you know, he's found us all about his growing up years. So we, we leave and we thought you just drive up and there's a country.

That's in slow. Yeah. So we hung him. When we figured out you can live there.

They have hotels in there. They have a train that takes you to the nearest town. If you weren't there and brings you back. Oh, we found out all we circle back.

But you go, I'm going to run out of gas. So we said, well, let's go. And I said, we got to go back to the front because the only time they had was the desert room. And I'm like, we've seen the desert.

The whole thing. I want to see the Canyon. Where is this Canyon? And we were like, so we leave back.

We come back. Well, it's a different guard and she's not too happy with us because I'm like, we're in the Canyon. And she's like, well, it's in here. And I'm like, man, we have been driving and driving.

I'm not going 25 miles to not find this Canyon in here. And she goes, well, it's right down going toward the desert. Real. It's the whole real.

And I'm like, well, we had turned around too soon. So we found it. I love you. I feel like we're part of the family.

Yeah. I had a very deprived childhood about geography lessons. Does your husband teach that? Yeah.

He does. Don't ask him. Don't ask him. He knows I am geological.

You know, challenge. My mama was an English teacher and had been working. So guys, on this trip, you guys were kind of doing dual roles because you work for Lopan and you guys live at 24 seven and we appreciate that service. And you had another family that you were with that's close to you guys to the Perry family.

We sure did. We got to celebrate John Clark and their family got to go and get to decorate the float. And when they say decorate the float, like, we're thinking just a little bit. And then when you get there and you realize that intricate detail that goes into this decoration, you know, sometimes I did get my mother's patients and you just break some blood on that and just throw the flowers.

You know, and that's six, one six, you know, and but it's not that way. They, I mean, you've got to space the flowers certain way apart. And I thought, Oh my God, are you sure you really want me doing this? Because this is going to be judged.

And I started to butt the flowers up, you know, too close together. And they were like, we only have, you know, 200 flowers of those. Don't butt those up so close together. And I was like, Oh, OK, I'll face them out a little bit more.

You know, and then the Perry family. They got to decorate the boats and the boats were made out of seaweed and and Holly, John Clark's mom, you know, they are so specific about detail that she had to take. They had black beans, you know, for parts of the float. And then they had, you know, red kidney beans for the other.

So she literally had to take if any beans were mixed out or any of the little white parts of a bean were in there. She had to take those out with tweezers. You know, it is such a very intricate detail of things. I don't know.

I don't like that. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like, I could do this for another four days decorating.

You got the hang of it. Oh, I love that. And then Lee, I know you and your mom are close. I mean, you even sound just alike.

We're having a hard time determining who's who on here. But the appreciation of your mom and the journey that she's been and helping you and your kids on that journey that must have been something that you treasure on that trip. Yeah, it certainly was, you know, and just the whole journey, you know, throughout life and her strength and passion for donation has given me my passion for it. It was, you know, my daughter probably couldn't be more like her than I am in some ways, you know, I always say she loves my mother more than she loves me most of the time.

But it was really a good thing to all be together. So, Pam, if you had to describe it in one word or a few words, this whole experience, I mean, I can hear you kind of getting emotional about it. But how would you describe it? What would you say?

Let's see. There's so many words. You know, just it's always way beyond your expectation. You know, and beauty and love togetherness.

It's just an experience, you know, you could say magnificent, fabulous, great, incredible, unbelievable. You know, it's just extraordinary and size that you're kind of like the grants, your heart grows three sizes that day, you know. Well, we appreciate you taking us along for the ride. We appreciate you guys sharing Ryan with us and your family's talents with our families.

Wouldn't want to be anywhere else. No, so you ain't kicking us out to family. You can break our branch off. Pam and Leah, thanks for teaming up once again to join us here on the gift to like podcast.

Thanks for sharing the last with us the memories making us part of your family. Thanks for joining us. Thanks so much for having us. You're on the gift of life where you take a moment for mental health.

Boy, I can learn some tips on this one. I'm ready to. Out parents. You've got Sarah.

Well, we all know we do live in a stressed out world. You know, everybody has work, money, everything that's going on, like vast pastel. Yes, like taking a moment to just stop sometimes is helpful. But when your parents, a lot of that stress can go into the way you parent.

So what we don't want is some unhealthy parenting from stress. Now, when I say parenting, I have to say it's not just our human parents, but I know pet owners as well. If you're a caregiver or if you take care of your parents who are getting older, any care giving at all is really what we're talking about. So how do we make sure our stress doesn't bleed into the way we care give?

Please tell us. Yeah, because it's so hard. I was going to say because it's so often I find myself do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, phone calling in all of a sudden, you know, my dog wants attention. Right.

Or my baby. Right. And then you get short with them with your, either your kid or your pet, you get upset, you might be going to a moment where you raise your voice a little bit. Nobody wants to have that.

You only want positive experiences. Or when you are spending that time together in the back of your mind, you're thinking about all the things you have to do and you're not fully present. Right. So we want to avoid that and we want to make sure that the time you're spending is quality.

So the first thing you need to do is identify your stress triggers. So we got it. The way to do that, done next. A really good way you can do this is at the end of your week, you can love it.

You can have a blog all the time you felt overwhelmed or stressed and then try to identify what was it that made you feel stressed. So is it work when you're getting emails at 8 p.m. at night? Does that stress you out and put you in a negative headspace?

Or is it you remember that you have to go to the grocery tomorrow and that stresses you out? So identifying the thing that makes you feel stressed out that then takes you out of the moment of your presence, identify it. It's going to help so much. I'm telling you.

Okay. So then what do you do when you identify those stress triggers? You prepare. Stop calling me.

Yes. I know there's always one more thing to do. I'll get you in just a minute. I'll just have to do one more thing.

And they're like, you said that like three times. Yes. I get it. I get it.

Yes. So what you need to do is you need to prepare those coping skills that we've always talked about. So if you know in advance, okay, today's going to be a really busy day of emails or I'm working late tonight. Know that in advance and prepare those coping skills.

So do your deep breathing exercises. If your spirit will pray, if you're having a moment of stress, fill out that gratitude journal, whatever you do it in advance and lay out your week knowing when your stressful moments are going to come and prepare for them. Okay. I hit the reset button like just breathe and reset.

Yes. Yes. So it's very silly thing where if we are stressed out, we call it quote blowing bubbles. It's where you take your lips and go, but it makes you do that because then you'll take a deep breath right after because you're blowing out a lot of air.

Anything you're doing to just revitalize yourself and take a moment is going to be helpful for you to stay present and reduce your stress. I'll just take like 10 minutes and quiet, like a quiet of mindless of nothing. Yes. Even if it's even if it's like a TV, you know, something television or on the radio or whatever, but it can't be any, it has to be for me very simple.

Right. Just pretty much easy, nothing, not heavy. Yeah. You can do that.

You can know when you're like, when not to watch a heavy movie or when not to watch a stressful show that has like a lot of adrenaline in it, know in advance what days are going to be a little bit more difficult for you and then make those your easy days for whatever entertainment or whatever you mean. It's all just about identifying those triggers and then preparing for them. And then as in preparing, I always like have to look at the day ahead and logistically, who's where and how we're going to do that. So once I do that, then I can calm down.

Yeah. And actually catch my breath because everybody needs to be in their place and I can't be everywhere. So yeah, stress or two, but you're right, like trying to prepare like that calms my brain and then you're more present with your kids. Yeah.

I try to be if my kids are listening. I apologize. I maybe have a topic you like Sarah to cover. Just email us info at the get to life dot org.

In our question and answer segment in light of the fact that we've spoken about the rose parade all this time, Laurie, this question is for you. How long has the donate life rose parade float been in the rose parade? If you haven't heard this story, I love it. We always talk here on the podcast about one person making a difference.

Well, the one person behind the float, his name is Gary and he was a long recipient. Back in 2001, I'm going to quote him here. He said, I've been trying to find a way to repay society for this wonderful gift of life. Like how beautiful is that?

So his vision was this float and this parade that's seen by millions on years day, right? So he wanted to have a donation themed float and just kept after it. Like we always hear these stories. These people coming on the podcast and was like, I want to write a book and I thought about this and then years later, here's what happened.

So in 2004, he started in 2001, but in 2004, they had a symphony of life and then it has just grown. I mean, we're in 2022 now. The themes are amazing. People get to put their hands on this float.

They get to help with it. We get to honor these heroes celebrate life. Talk about these recipients. I mean, what a wonderful idea.

And everybody supported it and it's grown into what it is now. And I think we hear how it impacts people. Like we talked to the cart family today, the parry family, we heard from them. Like just an incredible, incredible idea that turned into something that we can all enjoy and celebrate on New Year's Day.

I'm the floor to it every year. Every year. I can't wait. I get up early, make sure I don't miss it.

I'll put it on. That's the one you want to see. That's the one you want to see. Yeah.

So I'll make sure I'll take it and couldn't just make sure I'll watch that because they always talk about what's so important to us. And it's the donation of life, you know, and it's such a beautiful thing. And you see the recipients, you know, walking next to the floats, you see all those donor heroes on the floats. It's amazing.

I think that that's all natural type. You know, it's nothing on there is plastic or anything. You know, it's all natural, mostly flowers and such. It is just a beautiful thing.

And they're working all year. It is. It's an all year. Yes.

They think about a year in advance, start working on it, putting, you know. And talk about the conversations that starts in people's homes. Right. Like what does that mean?

It's a way to reach out to people about what we're trying to get the message across, which is donation saves lives and people need it. And that happens because people text me every year. Have you seen it? Yeah.

I love those. Yeah. And I love this, but on Facebook, you're going to get life for a straight float. You can go back and see the themes.

You can read the stories of the people who were honored on there. Like they're really doing a great job of it. And LOPA is here at the gifted life or so honored just to be part of it. Absolutely.

Well, that was a great question. It obviously got us fired up. We're passionate. Yes.

So please, if you have questions, please write into us. We have on our LOPA's resource page, where you can even call into the podcast at 50464834777. In every episode of the gifted life, we honor a hero. Today's hero is Christopher Thresher.

And this comes from Christopher's mom. My son, my hero. Christopher was a great kid. He was a great big brother.

He was a great soldier. Most of all, he was a great dad. When he was confirmed, he was brain dead. I knew what he wanted.

I was on a mission. I was stoic and unresponsive to most people. This was the biggest decision of my life. But to know he saved lives by donating his organs made me feel proud of him.

He was a giving soul and lives on today and lives of others. He was a hero. We always knew he was meant to be. I thank God every day to have known such a wonderful soul.

And now we pause and say thank you to Christopher for the gift of life. That is going to do it for episode 181 of the gifted life. Thanks for listening, guys. Remember, you can register anytime as an organ eye and tissue donor at registerme.org.

These guests on this episode. Wow. What can you say? Our favorite card family, Pam and Leah.

It's amazing. Their story is amazing. I had been doing them a long time and never again, like you mentioned, I knew that they would touch the foundation in so many different ways. And it's just that talk about being part of the local family.

They are the local family, right? And it's funny. A couple of nuggets I took out of that with Leah, not realizing that she had a Louisiana accent. I didn't think Louisianians had accents.

I thought we all said, you know, I thought this is the epicenter of accents and everyone else kind of staggers off of us. Right. Right. So the other take away from this is next time we've got to send these people with a GoPro because that had to be the funniest.

Just the way they told the stories is so hilarious. I would love to have been there. We laugh the whole time through that whole interview. If you want to call it an interview, we have to have that insurance though.

Go to that family. The best place to find us, guys, is at our website, thegiftedlife.org. We hope you share. And you can listen to any of our episodes on our website or whether it's Google, Spotify, iHeartRadio or Apple.

If it is Apple, go ahead and leave us a five star rating, subscribe, and others will find us that way, guys. On social, we'd so appreciate it. If you liked our page on Facebook, it's the Gifted Life podcast. We're also on Twitter and Instagram at GiftedLifePod.

Our ask is that you go out and do something you would normally do to help us make life happen for one big team. Until next time. This is a production of Loba, or the Louisiana Organ Procurement Agency. The Gifted Life is hosted by Lori Steele, Joey Buudro and Sarah Blake Moore, our executive producer is Kirsten Heins.

Producer is Shalom Caraway. Intern is Rebecca Rannamam and we are recorded, engineered and mixed in our Covington, Louisiana Studio by Troy Perez.