Hello and welcome to the Get to Life podcast where we have conversations about organ tissue and eye donation and transplantation. You can always find us at the get-to-life.org. I'm Orystio. I'm Joey Boudreau.
I'm Sarah Blakemore. Coming up on The Get to Life today. We're going to have a raw and real conversation about donation and transplantation with Heather Thompson. Hala.
She's a former Real Housewives of New York and we're also going to talk about how to do a mental strengthening exercise. All that more on this episode of The Get to Life. Here on The Get to Life podcast we are so excited to introduce Heather Thompson. Hey, ma'am.
Hi, everyone. Thanks for having me. I think Sarah almost screamed a little. I screamed a little.
She was trying to be here. How do we know Heather? Okay. So Heather is a Real Housewives of New York.
Heather Hala, Thompson. I'm here so excited to have you. I am a personal fan. I know your story well.
I'm so excited for our listeners to hear your inspiring story. Thank you. She's blushing right now, Heather. But I don't know what you do.
You don't do so many things. Fashion designer, philanthropist, you're a mom. You're a mom of a son named Jack. We hear a lot about on the show, on TV, on YouTube if you just do a Google search and we know that you have a tie to donation.
So what touched our heart is that you use your status and you use your celebrity to get people talking about donation that normally wouldn't talk about donation. And we just think like, wow, that is so amazing. But we want to get to know you a little bit more other than what you can Google and you and your son and how that really impacted your family if you don't mind sharing. Oh, not at all.
Thank you so much. Yeah, the journey with Jack's was not your average journey. And I think that we are, unfortunately, I think sometimes we're told that life is good and rosy and you're going to get married and have a baby and live happily ever after. And life is not like that.
My situation with Jack's was up here example of what's supposed to be one of the most joyful moments in your life, turning into the most terrifying moment of your life. And that is not knowing if your kid is going to live or not. Like I still get choked up over it. So apologize for that.
But you know, I just get any mother or father or parent who has gone through, you know, God forbid the loss of a child or almost losing a child is forever life changing. And so with organ donation, if you can give someone a shot at life, how could you not do that? And that was really the message. And I can't believe I'm falling my eyes out.
Well, I love it because you're on TV and you see this persona, but then this is real life, like this is your kid. And yeah, on, you know, we did try to show them the show. And the bottom line is it was a simple message to answer your question and come around. And, you know, I haven't talked about Jackson a while, you know, he's 16 now.
And, you know, we showed our struggles on the show, you know, some years ago. So I'm a little bit out of practice with controlling my tears and my emotion. But when you talk about organ donation, it is the most bittersweet conversation you can have because at the end of saving life on the other end, there's been a loss of life in many cases. And so how do you balance that?
So my work on the housewives and why I decided to do the housewives was checking those boxes of opportunity. And the opportunity was to give a platform to organ donation and lend a story that could potentially make someone feel looking in at home that they are not alone. I love that. And I love when people text us that know that we work in the donation world and they'll text and say, did you hear her talking about this?
Or did you see this? So you know, it's reaching people that it would normally reach the message. So we certainly appreciate that. If you could take us back, we know Jackson 16 now, which is an incredible journey, but it kind of walk us through when you got that diagnosis and kind of what life was like.
Well, I would say that it crumbled around me. And you know, Jackson had a condition called Billie R. E. Trieja, which for people who are involved in liver issues, they would know it probably or maybe not because it's kind of rare.
But in the liver donation area, we hear it. And Billie R. E. Trieja is a, it's not a genetic mutation.
It's either a malfunction. They know very little about it where this Billie R. E. Trie doesn't form around the liver.
So the liver winds are corroding itself. So Jackson, he was born, he had an upper respiratory infection. Here we found out it was the liver that he needed to actually have replaced. So we're talking that he's a six month old baby.
So when he has his liver transplant, so when Dass is about three months old, we find out that we're on the waiting list for a liver transplant and we are devastated to think that we're going to have to go through this surgery. But we are in such amazing care with our doctor, Dr. Supere Emery. Your doctor matters.
You need someone who can hold your hand through this process and know what they're doing. And there's oftentimes with organ donation that the match is not right for you, but right for someone else. And it's a finite process. And you're learning all these things at the time that your baby is like dying and you're like, fine, it's a little bit off.
So to be honest with you and answer your question, I was in a fog a lot of the time. It was when Jack's got better when Jack's with when Jack's on the road to recovery. You know, we got the call that we had a liver and that Jack's was going to have the shot at life because of the amazing selfless donation of another. That's when everything kicked into the kind of like clarity for me when it came to organ donation and what we had just been through.
So I was an organ donor when I got my license at 16 years old and they turned over the back and said, do you want to be an organ donor or something? I say for me with a very easy decision. Of course, if I die, why don't we? I'll leave him here.
Here for someone who does Easy decision. Never in a millionaire's is across my mind that I would be on the receiving end. What was that timeframe of waiting? You know, between the time that you find out Billy area, Trisha, and of course, there's no Google back then or you know, it wasn't big, very difficult to find out things back then to the time.
If you can walk us through when you actually had the phone call that he needs to be in the hospital because he has a match, So that was and I will never forget as long as I live. And I should have taken some sort of like, don't act or take an anti-cry pill with... Like I'm totally out of practice. You guys are bringing up such emotions.
So the day was unbelievably emotional. Jack's had been sick. He had cold. And when you have any type of illness at all, it's simply cold, you are not on the Oregon Donor waiting list.
You get removed from the list for someone who's totally healthy to receive this gift. So Jack hadn't been on the list for a few weeks. And the truth of the matter is that it was Memorial Day weekend, which is a very busy weekend, and a lot of accidents happen on holiday weekends. And that is just a pure, unadulterated fact.
And my doctor was anxious to get Jack's on the waiting list because he was dire. And he was at the top of the waiting list. So we removed him from the top, and he was in need of this transplant. So we went to infectious disease, and sure enough, Jack's was cleared of the cold.
There were no antibodies, and he was cleared to go back on the list that weekend. It was in fact that people weekend, we got the call. So difficult, sorry. So our story is this, that the other end of that phone call was a family getting a call that their son had been in an accident in a family.
So sorry. You're doing a great job. It's real. The family that was on the other end of that phone call was the Blair family, a family who actually worked in the field of organ donation.
The two parents of Donald Blair, who was in an accident in New York City that night, and his liver is the liver that saved my son's life. They worked in organ donation. She was a nurse and her husband, and she both worked in organ donation. And so it wasn't even a question when their son was killed in an accident what they would do.
It was just an incredible experience in Donald Blair's death. He was 25 years old. He was, he touched 50 lives. Hit liver went to a mother of four, who I shared the waiting room with her husband.
The other side of his liver, the liver gets divided into two lobes, went to my son, Jack's, at three months old. His heart went to a lawyer in New York City. I could go on and on. And we just celebrate him and we never forget him.
And it's not, it's not, you know, what to do after that is different for everybody. There's no right or wrong. I want people to understand, you know, I felt it was very important to write, you know, organ donation is anonymous. I hope we all know and understand that the people who need it the most are at the top of the list.
And that's just the way it goes. And organs are, you know, taken by those who have agreed to have their organs taken. And it's a very exceptional process. Let's just say that.
So we decided to write a letter to the family, although it's anonymous. And we did receive a letter back from the Blair family, about four or five months later. And it was a long letter and it told us all about Don. And we shared pictures of Jackson.
To this day, we've never met as a family. It's just never gotten to that point. But the work that I do in organ donation is 100% in honor of Donald Blair and this family. Listening to tell your story, you know, everyone in the, we're all very touched right now and just hearing how 16 years later this still impacts you.
And you still feel all of those same feelings. Tell us about as a caregiver, what it's like, how you've gotten through yourself, how you've coped, how you and your family have gotten through this to be an immensely strong place. Yeah, well, we thank you. And, you know, like I said, I'm a little bit out of practice talking about it, but it does 100% feel the same way.
It's as bitter, sweet as the day it happened. You know, time goes on. But you know, when you experience something like that, it just, it stays with you. And I would say, can you repeat your question, you guys, I'm so sorry.
That's okay. So how did y'all get through it? So what were some of the coping skills we learned along the way? Yeah, I did.
Now I'm going through Matter Boss 2, so I'm talking. emotional and foggy. I was like, so the coping skills were first and foremost, I want to credit one of our doctors early on, who pulled Jonathan and my husband and I aside and said, I have seen, we were very happily married, young couple. We got pregnant, a year after we got married.
Jack's was, you know, a joy and we were so excited as any new, you know, newlywed parents are. And he said, when Jack's was ill, he pulled us out and said, I've seen this hair part too many people. You know, you've got to stay, you've got to work together. You've got to give each other kindness and space and tolerance.
And you know, things like this. And we went through all kinds of emotion of blame and trying to figure out why did this happen and, you know, all that stuff. And one thing that's true, and my husband and I are both very spiritual people. My husband is Jewish.
I raised my kids Jewish. I don't really spend a lot of time other than the high holidays in the temple, like really as a church door for organized religion. So I want to be clear about that, but my faith, my faith that held me and held John strong together through. And the support of the communities that also leaned into the faith of prayer and leaning into giving someone support when they have no idea it's there.
I really believe in that energy. I really believe in the universe when it comes to that sort of thing. So you can't think of the person that's going through these troubles. You can't put them in your words, put them in your voices at home, as much as you possibly can.
So I think the support of our friends and family and strangers and the support of our doctors and our faith and our continued support of what another is what brought us through and allowing the space to be angry, to, you know, and crying and being afraid and fearful. But also having a doctor that said, you're worse, worry, your biggest concern, I got your back. I got this. Because one of the things that I want people to know is with the work that I did with my partner, Samantha Sheber, in the calendar pediatric liver foundation, which was a foundation that we started after our sons.
It's not active right at the moment. Dr. Emery has retired, but we saved a lot of babies in countries where, you know, needing an organ is a death sentence. There is no transplant surgery.
It doesn't exist. Here in America, here in the United States, we are excelling at rapid rates of successes of organ transplants. So it truly is giving a gift of life. I mean, Jack, thank God, his story is he had one transplant, one transplant stuck 16 years later.
He is growing strong and, you know, I have the Blair family to be indebted to for the rest of our lives for being selfless people and understanding in the gift of organ donation and how it truly does save people's lives. And Jack is a great kid and he's popular and he loves life and he's got a lot to give. So we need him here and I appreciate that gift so deeply. Yeah.
And listening to your story and some of the emotions you're expressing, my family, my brother was a liver donor as well. So what you're saying resonates and some of the things my mother experienced as well. And I think you're right in terms of connection and telling stories. This is the only way that we can make a difference is to tell our stories.
And I think it's so powerful with you with this platform to reach people and to not be afraid to tell your story as painful as it is. And so I commend you and thank you for sharing. Jack's with us. Oh my God, it's my pleasure.
And yeah, it's real. And it is real. People's pain is real. And I think that oftentimes, as women's who, I will say that we have to bury it and be strong.
Men's who, I'm not going to say it is generally speaking. We always have to be strong all the time. And there are times when you have to look for help, ask for help, seek help. And it is there.
The world is full of so much love. And your family is a perfect example of it as is the Blair family. And as is my family, can't get forward. And we need to lean into more of those stories and more of that stuff that's happening right now.
And I think it's a perfect time to bring it back up. And Jack is 16 now and has a voice. And when he was little, he didn't really have much of the choice to talk about our education. But now the work that he does is the work that holds continued to do on his own.
And it's quite remarkable what we can do when we lean in together. So and I was able to use the platform. I would show that has a very toxic reputation for go. And I was able to reach people.
And I did. And I did reach people. And for sure, just so everybody listening who cares about this cause, I got countless, countless emails and text messages and DMs on social media of people who had signed the back of their license, who had told their families that it was their wish, who didn't really understand it, didn't have much information about it. So I am here at I Am Heather Tea on my social media.
If you ever have any questions, I've done work with donate life. I've educated myself even more. These are sensitive subject areas. And we have to make sure that we're nurturing everybody in the situation.
And so my pain is real. The struggle that we went through almost was in our child is real. The unincredible pain on the opposite side of the gift that we received is incredibly real. And what heals that, what connects it is love.
And that's what I like to try to show. And if we can just lean into that a little bit more, and if giving the gift of life and your death is signing the back of your license, you have no idea how you pay it forward. And it's the soul that lives forever, right? So what a good soul that one is.
That's an Oregon donor. I love it. I love it. We have a liver and kidney recipient here who knew that you were coming on the show.
And she goes, oh my god, I love her. Which I'm sure you get all the time. But she said she's a fighter. She's real.
She's super mom. She has all these things. And she goes, actually, I messaged her. You mentioned social media on June 2nd.
And she told me the time. And then she said, I just told her, I mean, I just felt like I connected with her. And I told her I'd transpen a story. I told her what to do with Loba.
And she responded. And she kept that as like a badge of honor. And so she said it to me last night. Because she knew we were going to be talking to you.
And she said, love your story. Amazing. Two exclamation points. Love your strength.
Keep giving. Keep living. Keep loving. And she said, I just love her.
Like she connects with me. And so I was so sweet that you're reaching all these people, even down south here in Louisiana. Ah, I'm going to point you in a segue to love, right? So I'm glad that she feels it.
And I'm glad that she reached out. And I am so grateful to the work that you all are doing. And keeping the messaging out there, keeping the stories going. And we're happy to come back.
We're happy to answer any questions you need. And we really appreciate this time. Oh, good. Tell us a little bit about your podcast before we go in my heart.
You do donation on there, I'm sure. Yeah. So in my heart is one of my favorite things. That's my podcast.
It's a new project I started about a year ago. And it's a podcast that brings conversations that I have with the people that I'm fortunate enough to cross path with or get introduced to or just know in my life as friends that inspire me or do great work that I can share using my platform. So for sure, organization and the work that happens and the surgeons and all that kind of stuff would be a topic on there as parenting and friendships and a little bit of history from the housewives and all kinds of stuff that's on there. I have a doctor, nutritionist on that I'm interviewing after I get off of your podcast.
And so please tune in to In My Heart. There's a great place for conversations there. And you can even ask questions about people you'd like to know more about. And I get into that with my whole heart too.
So yeah, I love that. That's in my heart. And tune on in. Subscribe and listen.
It's a lot of fun. I love it. We love how you live out loud and you carry a heart for donations. So we appreciate you.
Thanks for the visit. Thank you for having me so much. Here on the GiftedLife, we're taking a moment for mental health. Yeah, mental health.
I'm curious about this. I love CrossFit, of course. So I hear she's talking about CrossFit for your mind. What's going on with that?
Yes, we are going to do a mental strengthening exercise. Right. So already failed. Mind squats.
Mind squats, yes. So full disclosure, I am on TikTok. And I follow a bunch of mental health professionals. Oh, well, that's where I get my scoop.
So I follow this one psychologist who he was doing an interview and somebody asked him what's a quick one-minute mental strengthening exercise anyone can do. And I love his answer. And it was sit down, write all the things out that are wearing you and cross out the things that you can't control. Well, that's going to take a long way to the minute.
I only have one minute. List 10 things. List 10 things that were you. OK.
I can take it. And cross out the things you can't control. I mean, that's the one. You got to tackle the one you can do.
Yeah. I think what I did it. I did it. And it really, I felt just like a burden lift.
So like half your list was gone. Yes. Yes. There was like, I would say almost five to six things on my list just immediately crossed off.
And I think it's just a really good lesson of focus on what you can control, first of all. But also know that it's OK to be stressed out about things that you can't, just recognizing you can't control everything that worries you. So I felt very lightened. And I did have this sense of power.
Yeah. And sometimes you can get overwhelmed, like kids, schedules, and all these things. And without having on a list, it seems like there's so many. And then you start tackling them.
You're like, oh, that wasn't so bad. It was just the anxiety of how all these things have gotten done yet. Yes. And writing things down is so powerful.
Like if you have things that are wearing you, if you're stressed out, there's an exercise about if you are, you can't get your mind to stop before you go to sleep. Just write down what's on your mind so you can lift the burden. So it's two parts. I actually use my phone.
Of course my phone's always next to me. So my mind's always racing. Or my baby's always racing one of the two. I'm not a lot at night.
And I'll grab my phone. And I'll start thinking about something. I'll grab my phone and write a little list. Yeah.
For the next day, or I'll put a little reminder. Yeah. Calendar girl. Like, OK, I'm going to put that on for Friday.
Like I'm going to tackle that on Friday. Yes. I'm writing it out. And then recognizing what you can and can control is really powerful.
It will strengthen and make you feel more empowered. Yeah. It's amazing. Just being able to organize your thoughts like that.
And being able to put it on paper, organize. And then you kind of put it off. And it's out of my mind for a little while. And you concentrate on that.
Yes. Yes. You're organizing when you can give space to this mentally. Because I think a lot of times people feel out of control with what they can have space in their minds for because there's so much going on.
If you have kids, family, school, work. It's overwhelming. So writing it out on a list, crossing off what you can control, and then maybe going a step further. And you're doing put it on the calendar for when you can give it space and time and energy.
That's good. Multiple calendars, I should probably work on that. But a family calendar for doctors, appointments, and things like that. It's funny now that I think about it.
That's the list. Need the color thing. I use the color thing on my smartphone. Different color code.
But it is. Yeah. That's a color for work. It's a color for calls of color.
I think you just got an A. Yeah. I did. I did.
I did. All right. Maybe you have a topic you'd like Sarah to cover. Email us info at thegiftedlife.org.
And our question and answer segment. Do celebrities have more opportunities to get preference to get a transplant? What you got, Joey? Well, Sarah, it's funny that this is a question of the day because I get that quite often.
Throughout my 20 years, I've gotten that from family friends, you know, and people who find out what I do. And that's a really easy answer for me. Because when you know the United Network of Oregon sharing, of course, they generate the match. We put in information from the donor age, size, blood type, and a couple of other things.
Then the recipients pop up based on how sick they are and geography. In general, that's the two main things that will separate people. And there's no star on the side of one that's sick or maybe one that's less sick down the way that says, okay, this one's got a star. Let's bump this one up.
We can't even decide to jump the list. It's only a very few occasions that we can even move from exactly number one to number two to number three. And those situations are really extraordinary. Like the hurricane that just hit Louisiana, you know, and we had to expedite the case.
Obviously, we couldn't send a liver out to multiple states over when it's coming, right? Things like that will allow us some leeway, but that's it. You really can't jump the list. You have to send a letter.
You know, basically has a group of individuals that are responsible for evaluating any letter that you send in that see it's legitimacy. And if it doesn't cross all their tees and not all their eyes, they'll send you a lot more work to do to explain yourself. And it has to obviously make perfect sense. And your name doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. Nothing else really matters. It's just how sick you are in geography. So it's just all about science.
We got that question just yesterday. So it's out there. We're glad to have this question. And there you go.
There's the answer. If you have a question you'd like to give us here, they get to life. Call us 504-648-3477. In every episode of the Give the Life, we honor a hero.
Today's hero is Kristi Milonsohn. And we learn about Kristi through a poem that her one and only sister, Michelle wrote for Kristi's 21st birthday. Kristi, you're my one and only little sis. Now, day goes by.
You're not truly missed. We always had our most genuine connection. There are ups, downs, each and every direction. I can still hear you laugh as I remember your cute grin.
You knew you would get it, as I'd always give in. There are no regrets with our past as I remember and pray. Only our cherished memories we had, each and every day. I miss our talks, one-on-one and by phone.
It is now hard to connect as I feel so incredibly alone. But I know you were still listening as I always talk to you. You're with me, my special angel, and almost everything I do. So happy birthday, sweet Kristi.
You were finally 21. You received your extraordinary gift as your journeys just begun. Enjoy the heavenly times you will celebrate way up there. Dreams we could not begin to imagine, even if we dare.
I will try to take comfort knowing you're in a far better place. Time can't take our moments. Special memories will not erase. You are my very special angel, my little sister, my friend.
God knows my heart is with you, Kristi. Until we meet again. If you would like to read more about Kristi, please visit our heroes page at lopa.org. And now, we take a moment of silence to honor Kristi, a hero.
And that will do it for episode 172 of the gifted life. Thanks for listening guys. And remember, you can always register as an organ tissue and I don't know any time. Register me, Dadorg.
Yeah, and a huge thanks to Heather Thompson. I can honestly say she's got one more fan after this. Oh, she was so great. Oh, she's sharing her story.
Oh my gosh. I mean, you just see her on the show and she's so strong. But to see her be strong in a different way with her vulnerability and the rawness of her experience through donation, I think that's going to be a huge message. Just that she uses her status to promote donation.
I mean, she's a star in my book. All right, the best place to find us guys is at our website, thegiftedlife.org. You can listen to any of our episodes on our website or on Apple, Google, Spotify or iHeartRadio. If you do listen on Apple, please give us a five star rating and subscribe so that others can find the podcast.
On social, you can like our page on Facebook, the Gifted Life podcast. You can also follow us on Twitter and Insta at Gifted Life Pod. Thanks for listening, guys. Our ask is that you go out and do something you would normally do to help us make life happen for one big team.
This is a production of Loba, or the Louisiana Organ Procurement Agency. The Gifted Life is hosted by Lori Steele, Joey Boudreau and Sarah Blakemore. Our executive producer is Kirsten Heins. Producer is Shalon Caraway.
Intern is Rebecca Rannam and we are recorded, engineered and mixed in our Covington, Louisiana studio by Troy Perez.