A French-Taiwanese Pianist on Nerves, War and Music First

She admits it freely, without embarrassment: she was super nervous. Not the polite, performative anxiety that competition pianists sometimes confess to in interviews, but the real thing, the kind that drains sound from your fingers and leaves you playing in a kind of internal silence. Anqi, a French-Taiwanese pianist competing in the 2023 Tchaikovsky Competition in Moscow, was giving herself no illusions about where she stood. She knew she was not among the frontrunners. She knew she had not played the Chopin étude as well as she wanted to the day before. And she knew, as everyone in that building knew, what was happening to the west of the country in which she was sitting.None of it, in the end, was enough to make her stay home.Q&ATang: Did you manage to do any sightseeing here?Anqi: Not really, because we’re in competition. It’s quite intense.Tang: How is your competition experience so far?Anqi: Well, I’m super nervous. Of course, everyone can see it. When I play, it’s like super nervous. But it’s a great experience to play in that hall. The acoustics are good, I think.Tang: Which piano did you choose?Anqi: Kawai, which is rarely chosen this time. Actually, it’s funny, because there are four pianos, and I had the Chopin étude, which I didn’t play very well the day before. I tried every piano on the opening of the Chopin étude, the chromatic one, and I found Kawai works the most with me. And after, I found it louder a bit, because when I’m nervous I usually just have no sound.Tang: Do you still feel nervous now?Anqi: No, not really, since I’ve finished.Tang: How did you travel to Moscow?Anqi: From Paris. We changed at Istanbul, Turkish Airlines. In total, without the layover, it’s about seven or eight hours. But the connection was four or five hours, and we arrived very late — we got our flight at eleven in the morning and were here at about one or two in the morning.Tang: Did you make any new friends here?Anqi: Some, yes. I have a roommate, and there is also a Russian I sometimes meet.Tang: You are competing on behalf of France, but I understand you are also Taiwanese. Are you the only Taiwanese competitor here?Anqi: As far as I can tell, yes. But I feel no real difference from the others. There is another French candidate, so I feel the same as him.Tang: Are you concerned about what is going on here, in the western part of Russia?Anqi: Yes, I know. Everyone knows it. But the Tchaikovsky Competition has always been a dream since I was young. And I know I’m not a very strong candidate — obviously I know I won’t win prizes and things like that — but I think it’s still a great experience to participate, and that’s why I still applied.Tang: Do your parents worry about you being here?Anqi: Well, my mother is actually here with me, so I think it’s fine.Tang: There are people who argue that by participating in this competition, you are in effect endorsing the Russian government. Do you agree with that?Anqi: Personally, I don’t really agree. I think a competition is always a competition. I know it’s state-sponsored, but I don’t think participating in a competition means we support the President of Russia. It’s a prestigious competition, and that’s the reason. Music first.Tang: About the repertoire — how much of it is prescribed and how much is your own choice?Anqi: In the first round, they give you a framework — you need a classical sonata, but you can choose whether it’s Mozart, Haydn, Beethoven or something else. You need a Chopin étude but you can choose which one. So basically everything is within a category: you need Bach, you need a classical sonata, you need three études, and you need Tchaikovsky. Everyone plays the same categories, but with their own choices within them.Tang: How do you feel about your performance so far?Anqi: Of course I don’t like it, since I didn’t play well. But it’s still a great experience to stand on that stage.Tang: How does this competition compare to others you’ve participated in?Anqi: I feel much more nervous with this one. I don’t know why — maybe because the hall is so big, and it’s one of the biggest competitions I’ve ever participated in. That makes me feel super nervous. And with Tchaikovsky up there above you, and all the other composers looking at you —Tang: They’re all watching you. And the audience — how do you find them?Anqi: They are kind. They clap. Very kind.Interviewed in June 2023 in Moscow. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit klassikom.substack.com