A Fully Resourced Woman

A fully resourced woman is not a woman who is totally full, energetic, and balanced all the time. It is not a woman who is always a shining example of health or never snaps at her children. It is not a woman who always has dewy skin, sleeps like a rock, and always says the right thing at the right time. It is not a woman who doesn’t struggle with life, friendships and relationships. It is not a woman who doesn’t experience guilt or shame or judgement.A woman like that does not exist. At least not in this dimension.I have not been feeling fully resourced for the better part of the year since Maya has been born and yet, I know that I am a fully resourced woman. I have been sitting with this paradox as I approach the opening of FED, my new 6 month container; a journey into deep feminine nourishment, opening on August 14th. I’ve had this voice that’s been saying, “How can you teach and embody FED when you’re struggling to feel the full juice of life?” This voice would have me believe that I can’t teach anything until I’m fully through the portal. This voice would have me believe that I must be perfect to be worthy of imparting any wisdom at all. But that voice is the voice of the perfectionist who would rather I do nothing than do it wrong or be messy while doing it. This perfectionist can’t see how much wisdom the mess actually holds.And the truth is, I have so much to share about this spot because I have been so underfed in my life.I have starved myself intentionally and unintentionally.I have abused my body with exercise and activity.I pushed and forced and made myself do things beyond my capacity for years of my life.I have lived from the idea that not needing anyone else was a good thing. I’ll do it myself!I know, intimately, what it’s like to be operating from a deficit.I know what it’s like to be squeezed dry of all my energy and lifeforce and keep going anyway, and thinking that that was something I should be proud of.But I don’t do these things anymore. And that is what makes me a fully resourced woman.I may be deeply tired, feel achey and sore in my body most of the time. I may not have much capacity for social engagements or travel or activities, but I do know how to ask for help. I do know how to take responsibility (which is really just the ability to respond) for my well being on a deep and un-punishing level. A fully resourced woman has approval for her process and can feel when she is under resourced and take measures to fill herself up. A fully resourced woman understands that she needs other people to help her and knows how to ask for it directly, with clarity and without any manipulation. A fully resourced woman receives that help without feeling guilty or unworthy, but can see how being able to offer help and being able to receive help, are both gifts for everyone involved. A fully resourced woman understands that her life-force is the most valuable treasure and she values it above validation from others, productivity, social contracts, and her external appearance A fully resourced woman isn’t a victim to her circumstances, but understands she is a powerful creator. A fully resourced woman may fall down. She may experience exhaustion and forget who she is for a moment, but she always comes back to her internal rightness as her anchor and compass.A fully resourced woman understands that she will not always be full and she rides the ups and downs of life with self-compassion and gentle approval. A fully resourced woman has the erectness to implement necessary changes when it’s time and leads with her Knowing.Becoming and doing the work required to be a fully resourced woman is the work of a lifetime. It isn’t something that comes easily or without very intentional shifting of our beliefs, patterns, and trauma responses. And becoming this self responsible is the way we change the world. It all starts right here, with the work we do to hold ourselves. This is the work we will doing in FED. The doors are closing this Friday. We begin August 14th. If you’re feeling called, this is the time to reach out to me. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit clarabelize.substack.com/subscribe