A Golden Opportunity

One of the greatest challenges we face is controlling our natural reactions. If someone insults us, we naturally want to answer back. If someone hurts us, we want to harbor resentment. If someone embarrasses us, we want to defend ourselves. Those reactions are natural and understandable. But what we may not realize is that at those moments, Hashem may be placing before us a golden opportunity to perform a truly heroic act. A person can spend an entire day serving Hashem, but sometimes one moment of self-control can be worth more than hours of ordinary avodah. The difficulty is that when we are in the middle of the challenge, it is hard to see the opportunity in front of us. We only feel the pain. If we could lift ourselves above our nature and act in a way that would make Hashem proud, we can access tremendous Heavenly favor and thereby bring about great salvations. A man related that his sister had been married for over ten years without children. One Pesach, after spending Yom Tov with her and seeing her pain up close, he was stirred to pray with unusual intensity. On the way home, he begged Hashem, "Please show me what I can do to help bring a yeshuah for my sister." The very next day, while attending a shiur, a disagreement broke out among several people. Suddenly, the speaker mistakenly blamed him and began publicly humiliating him in front of hundreds of listeners. He was completely innocent. Every instinct inside him urged him to respond. He wanted everyone to know that he had done nothing wrong. He wanted to yell back. Yet he remained silent, recalling all the chizuk he had received in this area from a certain Hashgachah Pratit hotline. Afterward, however, he began struggling. Perhaps right now he felt noble for remaining silent, but what would happen tomorrow? What would happen next week? Maybe the pain would intensify. Maybe he would regret his decision not to fight back. Maybe he would become resentful toward the speaker. Looking for chizuk, he called that very same Hashgachah Pratit hotline and listened to the latest story. Amazingly, the story was about a chazzan who had been invited to lead the tefillot in a certain shul on the occasion of a Sheva Berachot. During the tefillah, an elderly man publicly humiliated the chazzan in front of the entire congregation. The man claimed that the chazzan was unfit to lead the prayers and mocked him by saying that since it was Parashat Parah, the chazzan himself was a perfect example of a parah adumah—a red cow. The chazzan was deeply humiliated, but he remained silent. After the tefillah, a young man approached him and asked him to forgive the elderly man and have in mind that the merit should help a relative who had been married for seven years without children. The chazzan forgave the man and gave that relative a beracha. Later, when he returned home and told his wife what had happened, she said, "You should have prayed for one of our relatives who is thirty years old and still not married." "My humiliation was so great," the chazzan replied, "that it can be shared." He prayed for both people. In the end, the couple who had been waiting seven years for children was blessed with a baby, and the woman who had been waiting for a shidduch found her match. When this man heard that story, he felt like Hashem was speaking directly to him. He realized that he too could capitalize on the golden opportunity that had been placed before him. Immediately, he forgave the speaker and began praying from the depths of his heart. First, he prayed for his sister who had been waiting over ten years to have children. Then he prayed for a relative who was waiting for a shidduch. Then he prayed for someone who needed a refuah. Finally, he prayed for himself. He had always dreamed of teaching Torah and inspiring others, and he prayed that Hashem should give him the merit to teach Torah in a yeshivah. Not long afterward, the yeshuot began arriving. The relative who had been waiting for a shidduch found her match. The person who needed a refuah recovered. He was given the opportunity to teach Torah in a yeshivah. And by the end of the year, his sister, after more than ten years of waiting, was blessed with a child. Looking back, he realized that when he asked Hashem what he could do to help bring about a yeshuah for his sister, Hashem had answered him by giving him that opportunity. Very often, people search for great deeds to do in order to bring about yeshuot, not realizing that the opportunities for greatness are sitting right in front of them. A difficult spouse. A difficult child. A difficult coworker. An insult. An embarrassment. A chance to forgive. A chance to make peace. A chance to remain silent. A chance to overcome anger. A chance to let go of a grudge. At those moments, the Yetzer Hara tries to get us to focus on what we would be losing. But Hashem wants us to recognize what we can gain. Every time we rise above our nature and choose to act in a way that would make Hashem proud, instead of acting the way our instincts are telling us to act, we perform an act of greatness. And who knows how many merits and yeshuot can come from that one heroic decision!