A MESSAGE TO JAKE AND TANA - IMPAULSIVE EP. 93

you know what's crazier my brother is engaged is he though jake are you do we know who is it is it dude it's fashion bro but it's wrinkly your clothes have been tighter like my balls welcome back to the number one podcast in the world that's not a joke we love you guys thank you for listening watching subscribe but if you're not subscribed mike you're back from miami good to see you i see nothing's gotten better here because i land on the podcast desk i literally landed on it and there's no waters no coffees oh yeah like our production team's not even here it's our assistant danny is running everything i literally left for i think three days and the whole thing is going to shit you know why colin colin who is the kind of head and set up this whole entire podcast uh i didn't accept the first possible sponsorship we had i denied it so i got to get behind these brands i got to truthfully want to do them so uh apologies hey we did miss you uh when you were gone man i said you would text uh someone commented this in the last podcast i i kind of felt this i think spencer did too they commented if this podcast was a chip mike would be the chip the dip i need my chips with the dip you can't really have one yeah i can relate you can't just whack it was kind of like i watched um some of you some of your guys as soon as i noticed i wasn't on i turned it off but like some of it i did watch and how long did you take it to notice that you weren't on it you know it's weird because i thought i would have noticed it because i wasn't on it but i said to watch it i don't know but it was fun to hear you guys it was good it was so good it was so good and by the way michael j white fucking legend um and so he kind of carried it not gonna lie it's almost like everything i aim to do this with my words someday everything he says is a nugget of wisdom literally everything yeah this will definitely be a burden to remember tanner reveals the proposal news on it we'll get to remember that's fucking weird but yeah man how's miami ratchet did you come back with anything just like uh not just sd yeah but i'll say this miami is we've talked about in the past the most destructive oh thank you so much i love having a five-star chef in the house can i be one of those yeah thank you like ice coffee with mushroom coffee with a paper straw of course yeah i'm all right thank you chef katie this is so good it's fucking terrible is it really oh she's wacky uh miami most destructive and degenerative place on this planet wow you just hit that that was amazing maybe you should wait should we get to own the soundboard because i don't hear about it run the soundboard i know a producer should definitely run the soundboard terrible place i saw things that i was able to whisper in your ear and even that stuff i wasn't you wouldn't even say in front of anything you wouldn't say it's just a terrible place can't you whisper it into that microphone here you know i'm always like these are things that just how is this possible things i said through this mic it's that bad it's too dark it's dark it's dim have you ever turn the light off in a room with no lights on it's just completely dark and it gets darker now imagine you dug a hole and buried that room underground that's how dark it is it's dark so just like but but shout out to miami you guys do a great job somehow you end up with water in this whole city right next to which is just great uh live group grutman you hit one more button the next five seconds i swear to god dude you're going over water but yo yeah it's crazy it's a good time do you think it's good that florida's gonna be underwater so then miami's just kind of like you just can't go there anymore oh oh yeah for productivity i think so i would never um i don't think i could ever see myself like marrying a girl from miami like if a girl's come up to me like no offense miami girls but whoo if a girl's like yeah i'm from miami and she's hot so many red flags well like that girl thrown up tell me i'm wrong no well for you and spencer yes but like i see him and i'm just like that girl like i like i said don't care about calling myself out that girl lexus clark dude is so hot bro okay and she lives there she got a beautiful butt just a really hot girl dude she lives there we hung out for a while on this past trip miami's got beautiful girls but yeah dude it's just a tricky place like you never know who's screwing who who's doing who i mean what's it what's different from la it's worse dude it's just worse yeah yeah yeah it's bad it's a really destructive place and the biggest problem though is that the parties don't like at least la was kind of sensible like had some sense and said we'll shut things down around 1 32 a.m if you're not at 11 at 6 7 a.m you didn't go out i don't understand because uh europe is like this too some parts of europe and a lot of places internationally are like this the clubs are open till like 10 a.m the next morning how do you get anything done how do cities even function with this type of degeneracy but you look good i remember i faced with you that one time your eyes were swollen i said where's mike and you legit like we joke that you look like a potato i've never seen you look more like a potato where's mike and he's and the other girl you're with because she didn't tell you that you look like a puppy i just asked her and i like we woke up and i'm like oh my eyes are like really fucked up like i've been literally just living off a diet of tequila and like pizza for like days and um my eyes were like closed shut and she's like no they were fine and then i hit up logan he's like oh my god you're good shit damn well that's hey that's good and your real friends gotta call you that's what your boy does yeah hey can we talk about because i thought it was one last thing people came up to me at the club at 11 and we're like literally a lot of people and we're like yo your guys podcast the best ever yeah and there's nowhere i'd rather hear it than watching strippers just like go down the pole one other wait wait yes i was up at san luis abispo at a vegan cafe and the owner of the cafe came up to me dude i'm a huge fan of the podcast i love you so it's like you can have a vegan cafe people are out there watching us i got a story too i was in a ramosa beach yesterday and the server like lock eyes with me i like i was like this whoa and we both kind of looked at each other and then she's like uh she's like what do you want i was like i'll take it like the braised short rib and andre proceeded to tell her he goes oh yeah he's the beef chief you know because i am and whatnot and she looks at me she goes oh yeah i bet and i was like oh and it turns out she's a massive fan of the ball so she just got finished uh watching the now boys episode did you get her name uh no but she is filipino shout out you filipino no-name waitress from abisbo 11 is a club in florida where they give you massages right no that's that's yes that yes they do the big massage place is tootsies you hear all the time when drake was in town 11 is a nightclub that has strippers which by the way is also owned by our good friend justin roberts from team 10's father mark roberts and uh but it's like very very very hard to get into everybody goes after living after story and i wasn't able to get my credit card money off my credit card i wanted to take money from my credit card yes and so finally i had um one of the girls taylor kniff's girlfriend gave me four hundred dollars and it came with the bands on it with the singles and here's what i did i was so drunk it was six in the morning i took all the bands off and i went up and i went like this and it just fell on the ground and the guy came over with a fucking broom and then i go wait that that was a little bit too quick i usually get a little bit slower and then literally the girl was like this hey and i was like i'm sorry i have no more money i'm just saying but that's so on brand for you just blowing your load the first four seconds nothing less that's awesome all right so what else we got dude our show is also fun yeah so what happened you found a little something you know i'm always complaining about like girls my age and like dating social media stars again we'll get in my brother apparently he's engaged that's kind of a thing what uh but are we fucking up and i'm talking about that first like the video keeps trying well like we're gonna nestle it in here you're gonna find it eventually keep the audience yeah our shows dude it is the perfect spot for some really classy women and me dude you know my natural inclination is to go the easy route like beautiful ig girls slide to the end is beautiful i don't want an ig girl i want a woman i want a woman you've been saying it for a while yeah bro do you remember me saying that when you're in your 50s you're gonna be a mature seasoned man do you remember this why would i not be a mature no no no but like 50s classy bro like above average 50 year old class like brown suits yeah possibly yeah why do you have to wait till 50 i'm 34 mature as fuck no it's just never happened if you keep going to my own making it 250 bro well that can be the timing was great i love that noise well anyway i did i saw this girl bro a woman i should say she was a woman and she was great she was so pretty i saw her that's it that was for anybody who's like 28 or above this girl you know she is and she is smoking can we say who it is no well i didn't know i didn't know it was like somebody i saw this this woman and she was being super friendly and bubbly and i kind of started like hitting on older women is interesting i also don't say hitting on because like the way i hit on chicks is sort of like just like a conversation where it's pretty obvious that i'm into you not like pick up line pick up line you're playful and i use like jokes girls love jokes they love to laugh that's true number one and especially for like a young confident kid and you can like strapping you can sling a joke strapping young man you can sling a joke out they love they love to laugh so i make her smile laugh i was like oh i think i like this girl and then i asked her friend i was like yo she's like saying what's it doing turns out she was and so i ended up asking her on a date and she thought she thought i was joking because like she was like are you guys fucking with me like is it serious i was like i'm serious like what's the worst that could happen you know we go out there wherever we keep it lowkey hey you mentioned she's older did you mention the uh fact that she's in her 40s 47 years old yeah i'm gonna just throw out some stats no no no no no don't be easy no no no that's great great i'm proud of you bro i'm really proud of you here's the interesting part she has a i think her daughter's like 13 oh oh she said that she said and i said i said somebody's got three clues out there and i was getting hey listen please take me back lowkey i'm highkey actually jealous we're pumped for you bro i'm so pumped about this oh she's so hot i know her back i'm fucking up bro this is great oh right now i like this i like this it's really bright that's awesome i think this is exactly what she needed but listen bro she has a 12 12 13 year old daughter and i said to the daughter what's going on don't play let's eat my coffee dude i think it's just our effect and i said to the daughter i go after talking to her and like you know i'm interacting with her like i would any other fan eventually i reached a point where i just told her straight up i was like hey like i think i'm gonna be the best stepdad you've ever had wow which i thought was totally inappropriate so then i followed that up with i've never said that to anyone before and uh then i later told the mom that i'm looking forward to being the daughter's stepdad but it's weird the daughter's only like nine to ten years younger than me and was she was she like oh oh oh we got late breaking news here on the story well i just might show me something here on this what is it uh i meant one daughter it looks here like she's done 10 potentially there's just an endless list what you just hate this well because multiple spouses multiple children you are you are not you're gonna be the owner of an orphanage yeah you better be careful bro massive what are you saying doing that's a very fertile woman you gotta be careful girl you're careful she got great genetics and she's just taking her out to dinner you might end up having a kid no he wants that i told her that i told her that i go i want a kid she's like oh like because at first i played off i had a girlfriend she's like oh like really like are you trying i'm like yeah like pretty hard and she's like and then she's like what do you mean i was like well first i gotta find a girl and then she laughed and like she's fertile dude that's that's a that's a plus well i am jealous i am jealous okay i was i was excited i'm a little scared as you should be i'm scared i know i'm gonna fuck it up for sure she told me her heart's like paper dude i go i go i go what's the worst that could happen i go i break your heart or you break mine she goes my heart's like paper i go oh no not like this like paper we'll see we'll see bro i just go give it a shot just play it safe ride on the merry-go-round all right play it safe wear a helmet if you can go on the merry-go-round wear a helmet if you look at your chance with her as a ride on the merry-go-round i'm pretty sure you've already fucked this one up very exclusive oh man hey while we were there though uh milton my boxing coach i don't know like milton is quite the character he might be the most i mean we got a lot of characters in this house he might be the most eccentric i don't know how much you guys know about milton but he was once like a driver he did magic tricks one at one time he's like he's always been a hustler and so oh he's from new york he's from new york like a true hustler yeah he's from new york and so he uh he take girls to the side like not girls like he gather groups of people to the side and start doing magic tricks for them and like he'd always look over milton's entertaining a crowd of 50 girls love magic tricks everyone loves magic tricks and so i started doing a couple and maybe y'all should learn some tricks really what can you do i have one here actually let's see what you got what yeah let's do that another time it's just not a user possibly another one that you can do i i'm so sorry my brain has just been so trained well now we get i gotta show up at least what i can't do you probably can right at this one bro it's not bad it's just like you can you do it immediately it's just like no no you can't do it all right listen i have this rope it's a fucking rope who cares it's just a harmless rope dude nothing's nothing's it's just an ordinary rope we've all seen it before is there any way you can make it straight not in a circle god damn it thank you yo you ruined my trick bro i'm just talking isn't it funny bro it's not funny can you do card tricks bro let me finish the trick show us the trick bro do you really want to see yes okay okay so here i'm gonna take this rope bro i'm straightened out because most ropes you know they're in different shapes so i'm straightening this rope out dude and check this out if you hold it just don't be quiet for me are you ruined everything feeling the producer yeah that's my trick it's a stick rope it's an ordinary rope thanks guys you got a rope set you can do a couple of those man how many how many kids does a woman have to have before she's got an orphanage bro like is there a limit in china you can only have two and a half kids what's the deal is that true yeah isn't it how many kids only one can you have in china what's how two children i thought they had moved into two and a half at one point i don't know i don't know with your neighbor oh oh between you and your neighbor someone gets the top of the body they have to bring a magician with a box oh it's because china has the world's largest population and it's still growing yeah over population so you got two children whoa you wouldn't have been born i was a mistake oh i mean that seems obvious my mom were you a mistake to have something i've said offended you in some way it's just like we know what kind of jokes you make come on man you're not a mistake you're vegan so what's the old spencer bro he's way in love bro to be honest with you he's way in love bro bro it's honestly my heart warms every time i see him because i'm just so fucking happy he's like i went up to st louis to baseball oh my god it was magical oh my god dude no they're always my dog on a walk the other day it was just like they're doing really so literally so cute it makes me just puke all over the place yeah and like he just i don't know i'm proud of him anyways what were you saying about well you're just doing great guys i'm lit dude 100 i got a long-term thing going on right now myself really how long i think going on almost six or seven days now there's one girl for almost a week i know oh wait you're not lying i was with her in connecticut florida Miami getting pretty uh somebody's getting pretty serious damn man but i think i pissed her off at the club though wait wait isn't this a girl isn't this a girl that isn't this that one really hot girl that is in your like county she was she ignored you when you were in school not in school but like afterwards i wasn't cool enough and now like when i visit people are like so you're just me six you you okay you got that cloud now and i'm like oh it's hey big mike yo but what about slinging drugs and partying all the time was it cool enough for her i don't think she didn't know me at that point like it was after like uh just post fat mike so like 20 so like 28 bro and like when i came out i was like just after fat mike she was banging dudes that were like fresh off jersey short i think she even banged a couple jersey short that's disgusting damn i hate to see that i mean they clean up bro they got great grease i mean i mean they clean up a certain type of woman bro like what's good well like we've all seen the show which jersey short i'm in the situation bro my name's mike yeah i think my situation yeah your apology because he's like the most he's like the most famous i thought i would be yeah you'd be for sure he's actually most down earthy kind of chill out i told you bro and then the fourth dude is the one that beats the shit out of people right yeah no no ronnie ronnie yeah ronnie ronnie i told you you texted me like yo i'm taking this girl it's like a girl and i had one of those in my hometown too and i was like bro something about a following activates the that one girl from your home centrifugal force and i still didn't believe it and that's what went wrong in Chernobyl i actually told him i said hey man i'm out with this girl i was like i don't think i got this i knew he did i knew my boy got it just went to fucking pound it i've felt that logan is just about to get a girlfriend you're searching aren't you i can feel it i am bro yeah i really am what do you think do you think girlfriends like you think it's gonna you got a girlfriend calling no no no the text from the good lady woman with the orphanage she hears us i i just want to let y'all know this is a triple text oh it is serious dude can you read can you read it no no no it's actually i don't have the kids oh my god wait wait she doesn't have the kids tomorrow night wow bro what's good bro but this is the thing if you're gonna have a kid do you want to have it with someone who already has a plethora of children here's why yes here's why yes because they can mother the child nope point the opposite they have children to mother i can take the child oh so you just hate we need to explore the custody situation of these other children because what if you what if she pops get out and you don't have custody bro what if she makes some controversy yeah i mean you're pretty controversial nah y'all are fucking tripping yo ready for this okay you have a child with her and then you guys open a small school for all of the children that she has our cupcake shop what was it called cute cakes cute cakes okay so you open up a school all right so you open up a school and you but instead of training them to like do math and arithmetic and english and all that you train them to shoot and edit video we can then fire our overpaid staff here at the house and have the children work for us for a much lower fee wow that's awesome hey no concern on like child labor sorry is that child paper what are you saying child paper um mike i had a question for you like i want to jump way into the future like i love i'm sorry if you're listening to this welcome to my life um i'm just gonna i'm gonna exploit myself a little bit here if this were to go the right way is there i'm assuming you make love to older women different than younger women right or do they like that you're like the young man who throws it down different you know what i'm saying yeah that's true i don't think there's one size fits all you're probably right but here's my thoughts on this i think younger girls like from like a 21 to like 24 year old subset call it they think that a guy wants them to throw it down so they're like part of fact like they're like get so into it right but if you ask a real woman for their honest opinion she wants some soul sex girls like soul sex they just do what they want because i've heard this before and then i've been with a plethora of girls even ones i've been with for extended periods of time and it's just not always like that i have tried like various during single sessions and noticed that i'm trying to think like an analogy the only way the swirl has gotten the little fucking nut on the female girl side of the swirls has been through more slow passionate fucking unit entry it worked for me sort of i mean does that work i mean girls you lost you when you said squirrel like yo like what if you just try this if you do do it at first try like nicely supporting her head from the back with like a light grab and just that really passionate like no i'm being honest bro i tend to do that and then by the way if the girl turns out to be you know like besides porn star shit goes down do you have something in your back pocket that you've never ever unleashed in the bedroom i do what is it what is it logan i have a lot here's my problem they'll be like me kids they'll be like me i have been afforded the privilege of being lazy you know what i'm saying like girls with me they don't demand probably what they should and maybe a bit selfish like some girls they'll like instruct me and just don't and they'll direct me it's awesome but a lot of girls just won't speak up dude and you know i've been lucky but i don't think that's gonna fly with a woman he doesn't give a fuck about my clout maybe likes my money a little bit but maybe probably not because he has money logan has been quite verbal about the fact that he i'm trying to think of the right way to put an analogy with this no no no don't say he doesn't like to eat the ice cream sundae it's not that i don't like it's not that i don't like to eat the ice cream sundae the typical la girl scares me oh yeah i am a little wary no no because if there's a girl that i'm in a relationship with or a girl who is like i'm connected with way more than usual i'll go for it but i feel like i just don't throw it out like you dish it if i get like herpes around my mouth yes it turns me on yes exactly tiana the risk of her turns you on no not at all but i mean let's be honest like i'm pretty sure 90% of this room has like some has a fucking cold sword you think my pure assistant danny hasn't ever had a cold sword get off absolutely not whatever so yeah it's a bit risky but what in my visit okay and doing the dishes mike waking up there could be a lightning we'll come down right now speaking of risks you don't eat the ice cream but you've been rolling the hot dog around the ice cream without the wrapper but i never ask but i never ask i never like oh like you give head i never do that i never do that i just happened oh that's not if you miss my knowledge i thought it was a pretty solid one you unwrapped the hot dog and rolled it in the sunday that you wouldn't eat the sunday i'm not talking about oh oh oh wow which begs the question what's worth worse mouth herpes or genital herpes i mean at the end of the day dude like i think i think both situations you just can't go back oh because here's why i ain't carrying around dental dams i don't have a dental dam just whip out has anybody in the history of mankind ever used one of those supposedly it must have been the outer space the good thing about herpes though and it just sucks the good thing about it is you really can't only get it one time that's true you can't get it again get it out of the fucking way dude it's a really great outlook just be careful i preface all this by saying don't be like me i'm not the ideal i'm like an all or nothing kind of guy you know what i'm saying if i'm devoted i'm in i'm all in but if i'm not all in i'm quite at the opposite end of the spectrum i'm lazy with it sometimes you gotta work bro you gotta work no i don't i don't i should plus because here's the other thing a lot of that work dude at the end of the day is training it's almost like a boxing match or a triathlon you can't expect to just be with the school teacher right who runs the school with you and you're with her for a year you've never had an ice cream cone in your life and you're just like going up to it like yo this is ice cream you need to practice you need to get in there see what's under the fucking hood and get to work brother some women don't if there's women that are watching this i need to hear about this in my instagram DMs because there's not been one girl you know that the girl who's like when dudes go down on me it doesn't do that much for me have you heard this i've been told this okay so let's bring that back to all the dudes here do you guys know any dudes that are just like is it it's fair not exact I think there are some guys out there that would probably say that they're not that good at it overall yeah I think they're the majority of them oh oh you're saying you're saying most guys aren't that good at it so girls are trained to not think it's other way around why don't you just say why don't you just say put the camera on us so we can ruin our careers hey look are you saying it's a lie are you saying it's a lie I don't believe it you could be right no no but but but to your point I have heard girls that are like I'm uncomfortable with it I don't know you well enough to let you do that I think there's a lot of that stuff but I think like if you're with a girl that you've been with for a long time and she doesn't want you to do that that seems weird to me and to the producer Dylan's point like he was just saying quietly but he definitely said this it could just be because of the quality of the people they've been with in the past like I mean if either a girl or a guy are basing on their past partners and they've had people that are shitty at doing it to be honest other than like texting or like Instagram the third thing I do the most of in this world is eat vagina dude I'm like an expert dude I've reached fucking expert level dude do you have a blue check? I literally have the ownership of the platform dude I don't need a blue check I give out blue checks bro got it when you were saying girls that's the minority? I was about to say dude I am stunned at how many girls know what they're doing now I am flabbergasted because it wasn't always like that in theory but yeah because they're into it and there's a lot of action going on and they're killing it but it doesn't feel as good compared to some of those I think there's some action some of them got that little technique gotta call it daddy girls really changing the landscape but this city like every time like every like it seems like every week he comes up to me he's like hey man I just gotta let you know that was the best head I've ever gotten I go bro if I put a check mark on my calendar I'm like you've literally said this you do though you do you do so we say the same shit it's tough man does it just keep going up like this or do we appreciate the crap I think that's it by the way shout out God really quick for like making us able to reset every time and never get bored of something like that yeah but that's my question like if we went back and like reviewed the past like six months at what point does one of them really is the best I'll tell you I agree there's always there's usually one or two that is like you know what if they created like a bachelor type show where like yo yo I saw this I saw this I saw this tweet I saw this tweet from Riley Reid no that's another thing I saw this tweet once Ohio University is the first to have BJ classes in America I remember that what and there's like three to four chicks we came from right yeah I went to OU which is why I was like what happened there and there's like a picture of four chicks sitting on a table with like dildo straps I remember I'm like what this can't be real and I think it came out as fake but I wonder no no no I think they have it it's like a sex education yeah it's a thing college approved I don't know I'm not a form right now since my ex-wife is from there they need it LA is a special place man it's like one of them I remember one of the last ones this girl I think she had created some sort of anti-gravity vortex like she was literally levitating above me speaking of anti-gravity like I think what you're referencing is I've been on a UFO kick really because Bob Lazar came on Joe Rogan's podcast I don't know if you guys have seen it mind blow it yo you gotta be careful with this shit because I'll lose my mind bro wait this guy how do we know he's not an alien come on this guy is he super smart so in his 20s this is crazy he put a jet engine on his car and it got picked up by the local news and then the government saw this and they recruited him and so he ended up he went to a facility and then he went to a facility outside of Area 51 after that and he's like the first guy that ever exposed Area 51 back in the 80s and so when he came out about Area 51 they like shunned him shut all his records down like any history he had they tried to cover it yeah they buried him and he revealed some things that didn't get released until like 20 years later so people were really they were denying that what he was saying was true and now they're kind of accepting that what he says is proven he worked on an anti-gravity device that was in an alien spacecraft in Area 51 and he's seen UFOs in Area 51 so you're saying that girl may have got access to technology she got access to alien technology not only what you described when she was hovering there was a blue aura Bob Lazar described that he said when the UFO they tested the UFOs and they said when they when they flew them when it lifted off the ground there was a blue aura so this is what happened when they lifted off she is the girl's alien check mark how can you test the UFO they found an actual UFO so they found nine apparently and they were in a hangar he got to see all nine and they were all different so he was operating they separate everybody so they're on different teams and it's like a buddy system so they can't all the scientists there can't just talk to each other so it makes it very difficult to do the work because they want to keep everything top secret apparently so what he was working on specifically was a reactor that powered one of the craft they were trying to figure out how it worked so he made the analogy that it's like imagine a Ferrari being put back into the medieval times and telling the smartest people back then shut up they still don't know what exactly works he was on Joe Rogan's podcast dude it's the craziest podcast is he lying I don't think so man there's a documentary on Netflix and it's blown up right now can you go back to the black and white picture really quick that he looks like if an alien civilization was like we need to create one that looks like them he looks like that would be what they created he's like a spitting image to me he looks like a genius I see a guy who looks like a genius I just said that when they were incredible how the reactor worked because it's powered it doesn't have a fuel source and it doesn't heat up when it's turned on and when it's turned on it's an anti-gravity device so you can't even get close to it it's crazy dude and then when they opened up the spacecraft and they went inside there was like three little seats it wasn't human size it was like three feet tall you know something it could have been it could have been heaven but there was three seats around the reactor and they could fly I love this kind of stuff I really do but is it hot can I be like kind of skeptical yeah can I ask I'm not going to be skeptical but like no way now that we know the technology i mean if you think about the fact that it's happened well if you think about what they're why are they hiding that from us yeah safety and control right i mean listen if you have that kind of technology you could do anything right and think about if we have if we know about a technology that can give us unlimited power produces no heat why would we use fossil fuels money well i mean if they don't know how to make it they just have one this was that conversation about what we were talking about earlier which we're going to talk about with the next yes later today which is that utopian society if we found an unlimited power source we didn't need to use money or fuel or anything like that it would start to create utopian society that means the government loses control all of that all the shakiness and like um wars and all that stuff creates a need for control and that's what that's what the government provides you know what i'm saying keep us under their control right so it's like so that's why stuff like this coming out is really important if it is true because if we know that this type of technology exists and there's people trying to control it that's really important hey don't tell you that dude not like oh there's aliens everyone should know he's like there's science and technology getting suppressed and that's the main problem okay but don't you think don't you think if that's true and what he's saying is true don't you think like respectfully the government would kill bob lazar off they tried what do you mean they tried they tried they they tried to shoot him and they missed who tried to shoot him when he was yeah i've not got any details here was he got tcdy getting frozen over like what's the dsa check out documentary shot out when he's on the highway and then when he was with his neighbor like doing stuff during the day his neighbor would carry uzi with him and then he was shot at him sorry the neighbor was strapped with an uzi south central like what the fuck is the neighbor shot the neighbor shot the uzi at bob lazar or the neighbor protected him yeah we should watch the documentary tonight though i'm down to the next level yeah i love documentaries i've been on a weird kick though i've just been going down deep in some ufo rabbit holes that's awesome man that's awesome that's that's that's boggles my mind tell you what where are the aliens though did he say anything about the actual alien like that wasn't his like i was saying they apparently keep everything super separated so um like people that were working on different parts of the shifts or like if they found the bodies and we're somewhere else he never got to see that because you don't want somebody to have all the info so much for risks i silo the yeah i bet you russia has like their own i wonder if like the countries know what each other have because russia has probably had so many crashes in siberia like in that massive expanse so like they probably have technology and then the u.s is like yo putin you keep your alien shit and don't hurt us we'll keep our alien shit and we won't hurt you and let's just fucking i would presume dude fuck i uh i've officially now just made it a item on my bucket list i want to i want to see some alien technology some alien tech before i die when i was in uh freshman high school we had uh this section in our physics class called um i think it's called faux science and the teacher put that is one of the slags or the aliens of roswell faux science so that just goes to show like how much there's people out there trying to suppress that kind of i mean but is it like my teacher like mr package pseudo science yeah no it's why were you lying to me well that's not him he's fed that well the problem with conspiracy theories and really any of that kind of like anti-government sometimes like propaganda or like truth like that stuff is the problem is you never know if it's someone running interference or by way it's just not true and some people spend their entire lives trying to uncover this truth and never do right you know it's just yeah what's crazy in this particular situation is that he he let people know about like very specific things that got declassified yeah like there was this uh technology where they would like in order to gain access into the facility they would put their hand on it would measure the distance in your bones biometrics yeah um yeah and that would grant them access and people were like oh that doesn't exist and then it came out later that that facility was used so he knew about biometrics before biometrics came out exactly exactly he's telling the truth why don't you just put a stab in the dark well he also yeah all right that's crazy you know what's crazier pull me out of travel man my brother is engaged is he though jake are you doing is is it dude my initial reaction was yes this is like a publicity stunt but then i'm like this is doing tattoos all over his body yep he got an earring he's done some silly things yeah i'm not sure this is quite above him i i couldn't agree more i think i think he might have done it how are you doing man is this is this active he's got so much press from this e-news e-news like that's i didn't give me a fine honey but check it out youtubers jake paul and tana mojo are engaged this is where i get and happy disbelief i'm engaged i'm questioning if youtubers engagement is just a stunt but tana sets the record straight when asked whether the whole thing is just a joke she replies it's not i'm engaged she said it's not she said it's not a stunt man she's a yes word like like is it yeah any part of a car recently what's good it's crazy because you know the easiest way the easiest way to know that someone is not like joking about something or doing a stunt is if you ask them flat out hey this is done and they say it's not i mean you then for sure for sure there's no doubt let me let me go on recognize to say this i'm with you at one point i thought maybe this was all for clout or whatever and then having seen all this i know that it's all for clout 100% is bullshit dude they're not engaged they're not getting fucking married if you're out there and you think tana mojo and jake paul in love you're fucking moron dude well i was gonna ask because like tana said she said it's not right so at what point do people just stop believing anything she says and tana you know i love you she's gonna guess i'm just curious i actually googled it look at the buzzfeed news why people don't believe anything they're supposed to do anymore here's why fans are doubting jake paul's and tana mojo's engagement so do you think question if you think i don't know why i had to say question because i was just stating a question um do you think that if this comes out that's fake this will damage jace what is there to be damaged uh you know listen listen we have been we have been talking about this a lot over the past couple weeks the state of like influencer and the state of what is being done on youtube and instagram these like the pictures that people post of these like just such dumb shit inauthentic content yeah i feel my boo i threw a door at the door or my dryer i turn into a road like what is this shit dude what the fuck like that's why like what is it though it's like i dressed up as a cat the term for it's called mindless entertainment so that's and you know what i know and i can relate and i'm cool with it because when we went to ohio i was there's a point where i'm like what do i do there's nothing to do i will literally watch or do anything and it just clears your mind relaxes you so you can take a break from your day and just watch stuff does it or is it in a form of escapism and what is that exactly now escapism are you familiar with david blinn yeah have you seen escape something oh escapism got it are you escaping yes it is but so what like everyone needs to escape you you escape every night at 10 p.m i go where are you going no but like but like i think we're i think with this show and with some of the other people that are producing content constant content right now you're starting to see an era usher in of people that are offering some sort of value do you know what i'm saying we talk about cool shit on the show we talk about funny shit on the show like the actual talented comedy not like i'll turn my carpet into a pillow and slept on it for 26 days outside overnight like that that age is over step your fucking game up yo i think very few people like mr beast can wear that but he is owning it you know he actually does it uh are you referencing like clickbait do you think yes do you think that which is interesting because logan you've been mentioning that you've done a different uh thumbnail yeah we've changed the uh style of thumbnail um we're doing here i'm sorry i just got distracted by jake see wait wait before you leave if you look at the view curve right here all right now you observe typical average view count now when you pull up the results are in of jake and tana's pregnancy test 5.3 million so this may encourage a uh publicity that you're absolutely right i mean let's be a relationship to the rise right i can't see the name but whose views are these right we're definitely thriving right now like uh views are averaging more than i think maybe we've ever done we've got a couple bangers here but yeah we changed the style of thumbnail so they're a little more uh raw now and it seems to be working like this one i i thought was really interesting and someone actually made a video about this called the redemption of logan paul and they touched on this video it's like this thumbnail is just raw and it's interesting so people click it 3.7 million views um and they're just frames from the video do you remember that do you remember the start of do you think it's because people are sick of just these annoying so mike said we may be reaching a trend by the way i think it's a i think it's a recycle because the beginning of youtube vlogging and youtube content was real like you remember shay carl remember shay carl forget that part but think about some of the early vloggers think about some of the yes they would walk around with their camera they'd be like i'm just going in the refrigerator right now i'm getting myself some cheese yeah but that's just whack but no one cares if you're getting cheese you know what they care about there's a lot of new cheeses on the market i think i think i think that people without the ability to make hey i'm just getting some cheese entertaining because i ask people on twitter by the way i'm gonna make a new video on my youtube channel what should i what should i talk about the number one answer was i'll be honest with you anything you want we'll watch it because you're an entertainer you know you know you know who does a really good job of this i think it's austin mcgroom yeah videos don't have a ton of cuts it's pretty raw you just can watch the dude and his wife and it's fun to look at fun to watch entertaining like and it's real that might be the wave that might be the wave here's the problem i'm finding what view averages is as high as it was in 2017 maybe a bit higher um does not translate to subscribers if you don't post uh as frequently as like a daily type situation it's slow man it's fucking slow so you were just about tied up with your brother he was maybe like 80k behind you a couple weeks ago we pulled it up on the show your views have gone way up and your subs are almost at 19.41 he's still at like 19.1 he's at 19.2 19.1 something yeah it's like 4,000 that's what i'm saying like uh you're like inside a youtuber's mind right now it's like we do the cheesy i turn my dryer into a robot fill my pool with orbeez and bang out that daily content like unfortunately people just do love to watch and digest or do we do higher quality videos where like maybe your the brand your brand value increases but you don't sell as much merch you don't get as many followers across all platforms and most importantly the subscriber growth is not that great the one so you sacrifice one thing for another and i'm at a cross the one thing that i push you to do or to desire more than anything else since i've joined up here is to do shit for the fucking culture bro to be fucking cool do shit that you want to watch at your age and do shit that you want people at your age to watch but i think you i think you've aged up i think a lot of people watching this show right now and a lot of people watching your vlogs especially the 10 million on boxing all of an older i absolutely agree but then the question is like at what point do i got to play the game a little bit the game of youtube and get the subscribers and and uh plug the merch i just think you gotta you just gotta be careful with playing that game because if you lose like what mike's saying which i really resonate with is if you're making content for to gain subscribers instead of making meaningful content to your already existing subscribers i'm not saying don't do that i'm just saying be careful because i'm gonna be optimistic here and say there's a world where you can do both yeah three days a week some sort of really fucking efficient workflow with editors like uh even the way we give hayden the footage maybe perhaps in this just an example an editor we find can chop the fat off the fog and then hand it to hayden where he comes in and makes the story um by the way that's yeah chris he somehow became my editor too yeah i'm about to sign a 10 video contract with him because are you really because you're making a bank halo and jeff want me to go daily bro they're like oh you're gonna get it about what i've just i don't really want to spill it right now yeah i won't say yeah but bro 80 000 subs almost 400 000 views spencer has views on his one video but i'd like to follow the fuck up hey i'm gonna start making content i'm starting three four videos per week are you ever gonna put angel in your content you are we've already been filming we just filmed yesterday but you like it i'm always no she's really good on camera i believe you i believe you sometimes bro these girls who especially don't come out of the entertainment industry are like put the fucking camera down kiss me on my mouth yeah bitch no she's not she understands she understands i think she understands mainly because of like what we're doing you know like saving the planet saving the planet saving the world and yo like one more thing you did that like video with uh high sky for face land uh quick apology to tifu and corinna i just want to say like it was funny what i gotta hear this i don't know like it was funny and uh i didn't really understand what's happening they told me right before it happened that it was turner's bed which just it's just so unfortunate like i had just come from the airport might convince me like hey turner bro i like you like you know that what happened i need some content so obviously there's this continuing to expand between face and tifu i of course am friends with banks and tom and all the guys over at face clan i also at the same time have been really pushing logan to do more collaborative content i like when he collapsed and like i like when we collab and if we're gonna collab i prefer to do it with someone that's about the culture like i just said phase with yadi and judy schuster and all these people that are rappers and athletes and everybody's watching phase what they're gonna do next so i'm like they asked logan to be a part of a diss track that the 12 year old gamer high side was making against tifu he made a line in the rap diss track that was like i saw corinne at logan's house i think it's over for you or whatever and so they were like with logan popping for a cameo i was like what he's doing at the airport so just popped in i watched the video bro but it wasn't like a cameo it was the weirdest this is the part i don't understand they just they edited it and made it seem like logan like was a feature on the track it was weird and they just popped him in at the weirdest times they didn't pop him in for the line they didn't pop him in for the line like i thought he was popping in just for the line like got you like a quick cameo they put him in like the beginning of the video like 10 seconds and i'm just rolling around on this mattress well because i want to show up to the house what that's so weird and they bring me into this room there's like lights everywhere and the dude turns on a fog machine by the way just me and this dude mike like caught it got caught off distracted by things and upstairs me and this dude this ball guy and he's like all right i'll just lay down the bed he wasn't even done with his sense he was just lay down the bed i was wait and i left and i came out to mike he goes there's a weird ball man he's got a smoke machine in the bedroom he doesn't lay down the bed i was like dude just and by the way i take this lesson the only would have done it the only would have just done it because i was there and like i want to be like a collaborative partner new me is like i'm not gonna do anything i don't fucking want to do ever anymore so were you nude they had my dick out it's just tricky because like you know like the face kids and i do like turner and i i hope they can make amends and corinna like i said i think she's a sweetheart uh i don't listen i thought it was in good fun it was everybody knows that tifu and corinna are dating she we even talked to her she's about the house she's very nice she's very nice i love i love her she actually was probably my favorite girlfriend you see this older girl i know i love this i'll tell you what though if i bring the older chick here the woman she is not gonna put up with this environment for that long i gotta i gotta figure something out in like three months i'll come back from a trip he's got like a button up to the top of the bow tie and his hair's coming over to the side like good to see you carnal suits dude carnal suits he's dusting he's dusting yeah oh speak one other thing on face banks i'm going on a no jumper tomorrow with him i wonder what's gonna come out of that what an odd combo well i'd ask my co-host from impulsive but i think he's busy or something i'm free i don't know how you do that atmosphere yeah there's a good chance there'll probably be supporting us on the set yeah what an interesting combo i asked you you know i know you have a Forbes interview you have a Forbes interview oh we're coming back my finger hurts i think i fucked it up chasing that guy down can we wrap it up how long have you been going oh you just get the fuck off this set you've been going for a minute man hey good job i really like these podcasts with the boys just can talk about life man it's real great you got any other final notes yeah man just do good things challenge games oh my god real quick oh i'm the fastest fucking youtuber all right that's a fact i'm gonna put my take on the line for it what's your mile time or like what's the what's the race that you're referencing yo i am quick and not just not just like you i'm a fast i am fast and so i tweeted um i put a hundred thousand dollars and i'm the fastest youtuber and man the response has been incredible everyone wants to raise me chadio chosiko came out of the walls he said he wants the three hundred thousand on jake wants the three hundred thousand somebody else um drake bell yeah drake bell um drake drake also wants to race uh just everyone man and so i'm gonna be i'm like this is the first time you're gonna hear it this is a little impulsive exclusive i'm sorry i had to bring it on but here it goes we're hosting a uh attract me to some biggest entertainment in the world we'll see who's the fastest in i think nine events the money's gonna be going to charity it's gonna be fucking great it'll be live streamed you can donate and hopefully i want to raise like literally millions of dollars for charity for this uh for this event july 27 groundbreaking it's july 27th calendar games this is this is big and by the way we are working with some of the largest like that's that's the other thing it's not just like we had this idea we're kind of slinging it together it's it's uh our name guy's doug delupe he produces he's executive producer i'm jimmy kimlin um the people who are actually producing the event are the same people who do the x games so it's like it's really really legit i want to i want to involve some big celebrities comment below if you see or know any uh big celebrities you want to want to see in the challenge i want zach efron i think we're gonna push for efron i think he just tore his acl though i think no no i think he's coming back and he just started his youtube channel or also halftime performers we really really we want to nail down someone we wanted white only really bad we did want white only there in uh in milwaukee by the way until you say milwaukee you forget that's a state it's not that's what i said yeah yeah you just forget that it's not a state it's funny because you know actually just got back in that state fidel cascio from the card so i just got a text message from matt zingler who's the um that he started rolling loud the bat festival yeah and he said can you hit the guys from wireless they don't want t to do the sound check you think he meant to send that to you and who's t if we're gonna can't do the sound check incapable i feel bad for you if you're listening to this i can't imagine you ever should i come up with a witty response yeah yeah i don't know what if he did me to send it to you and he wants me to do this just say the sound check hey okay sounds great have y'all ever done that where you've been thinking about someone and you accidentally send the text the worst thing ever no the worst thing is when you are texting someone they say something about someone else you screenshot it and then send it back to the same person you just look at the screen how do you play it off here's what i say i am so i don't know how that happened i somehow screenshotted and sent the screenshot to you these new apple phones have crazy yeah sorry i've done that because there's no other way to get oh no no or do this i just came up with it take the screenshot send it to them and then when you realize you fuck up say some shit like you sound stupid or like like you sound like like you're screenshotting the conversation sorry that's that's right that's exactly like look how silly we are because you're just reminding them of a conversation we just had no it gets worse it gets worse like here's what i'm talking about when i was when i was in high school my dad and i got a huge fight and he was just being physical uh no push you downstairs not this time no because eventually i got big enough where he couldn't push me down yeah so um he dropped me off my friend max house and when he dropped me off finally and because you know i had to convince him to pull his hair to give me a ride when we got there i texted he doesn't really have hair there's no hair i hear what you're saying when i got there i texted my dad on accident i meant to text like mom or something i was like yeah that dickhead just dropped me off and i said it to dad and this was before like these conversations where like i didn't know this was a thing heart drops oh it was over for me and he texted back he goes did you mean to send that to me or no he said he said uh who's the dickhead you're talking about i was like i'm so sorry dad i feel so bad and i love you and i don't think he's gotten over to this day wow because you're trying to like talk shit about behind his back we just directly to him it's rough i don't get any of that and i've done with girls too oh girls are done with me and i give them a little bit of leniency because i get it and i've been there but just double check just double check always double check your recipient and the cc on the emails oh my god wait that's way worse that's way worse because i've done that before actually sorry that's happened to me as a member that's happened to me as a recipient where the person was like who is this random kid that lives in la why is he running this pro like all this shit and um and i responded to everyone except him and i wrote man this guy must be funny parties like does everybody else accept him and everybody's laughing i have a major win from an email situation actually i was in a lawsuit where somebody i cannot get into details on this but uh somebody deleted all their emails but i owned the account and uh i gained access to all those emails i found them i was able to pull them out of the trash and i found like all these people they were emailing so email can save you oh yeah yeah it's probably more like why were they talking oh yeah they're like doing business through my company with other people i feel like you're talking about you're probably not supposed to be right now no i'm good i know you're talking about them yeah screw around that hey have you seen uh maybe we should talk about this in the next podcast yeah i think it'd be good oh that's that's perfect yeah right 100 all right well what else do you have any that guy that guy paulie megalini uh he's good there's bare knuckle fighting is not a thing he just watched a dude named arden loboff loboff arden one they're both boxes apparently but bare knuckle fighting yo i thought the uh UFC was crazy with their small little gloves but bare knuckle that's too far for me and doing i wouldn't watch that and after michael jay was on our last podcast i was like why did you become a professional combat sport person and he said it's not worth it and it's just not there's so much on the line he's taking we devolved back to like gladiator days but and that's like awesome like one of those things that brings back like the natural human desire to pound someone's face in it's just some primal shit some real primal is that good or is that bad though i mean it's not i think i think with controls it's fine you know what are the controls in a bare knuckle fight here's why here's why it's good man like if he's doing it if he's chasing his dream if he's getting that bag providing for his family like yeah and by the way that's the one thing he's doing a lot of athletes are fucking stupid i'll just say they're morons this is the only issue i have with that argument i felt that way if you're providing the bag then of course there will be people there to get it like if you're giving people the money so you want the whole you're telling like the whole fight league and that's but that's easily a better argument than telling him not to do because here's my thoughts on everything similarly to anything else that happens in this day and age that is taboo or rough or whatever my thought on it is if it doesn't affect you don't fucking worry about it you know what i'm saying if people want to beat the shit out of each other in a league that's fine if people want to fuck i'm not going to use any other examples because all dudes get in trouble but i was going to say if people want yeah well i feel you if you want to do it do it don't watch it don't watch it and don't complain about it yeah big facts but to your point there's my all right thanks guys this is a big one thank you guys for listening guys only guys only