A Nearly Extinct Private Language

In this story, a nearly extinct private language. I’m Joanne Greene.Every family has its special phrases. You know, the ones that crack you up while everyone outside of the immediate circle tilts their heads like a dog saying “huh”? Can you ever agree on whether it’s mischievous or mischeivious? (The former.) Is it “on accident” or “by accident”? Clearly, the latter.In 2002, years before my sister Rayna was too sick to laugh, her husband created a lengthy document entitled The Joys of Raynglish, “the language of Rayna Gay Rosenzweig Rodvien.” To begin, everyone in Rayna’s life had a series of nicknames. Our mother, Irene, was also known as beans, ahrene, beans a roo, beans terrific, and of course ahrennee gabeenee. I was affectionately referred to as jo, Jo Mamma, josphesus , Mademoyzel, Josephine,  and simply, the plumber (with a Boston accent, plumah). (Some of you might remember Josephine the plumber.)Phrases like “What’s your story, morning glory?” What’s your matter? And How are you this very morning?” were her frequent salutations.If you were running late, and God help you, she’d say “Yo! Move it or lose it!” “We’re late, for a very important date!” “Get crackin’” or “Hoof it to poof it”When her memory failed her in the moment, she’d refer to nouns as whootsa matootsies, thingamajiggy, whatchama call its, whoozie whatsits and the ever populular whatcha ma floozy.Other notable Raynglish words and phrases: Correctamundo! Hold your pants! Whoop de do!” Don’t staht with me Busteroo!”, You ain’t whistling dixiola and Let’s blow this pop stand; we’re outa here.And if you think I’m running out, perish the thought. From my big sister I learned “What part of the word NO don’t you understand?“I’m not deaf, I’m just ignoring you”And “Any port in a storm”…that one is so useful.I miss all the Yiddish we used to share – chatchkees, fapootsed, shilpkes, ungapachkeyed, mishegass and Shayna panemal…madela, punim or tatela.  Chocolate – milk, never dark – was Rayna’s love language. She proudly described herself as a tootsaholic – someone who would start popping tootsie rolls before 10am. Here motto: chocolate: It’s not just for breakfast anymore. Once her cancer was stage four, she’d order hot fudge sundaes as her main course for lunch. And heaven help the waiter who didn’t bring it with everyone else’s salad, or worse, tried to pass off chocolate syrup as hot fudge. Children were Rayna’s favorite people – Most were munchkins; all were cutesy tootsy.And when her children mispronounced or misused a word, that’s it. It was now part of the lexicon. Thus, United Market became Mynited. Grandma Essie didn’t live in Miami; she lived in her ami. If more than one phone call came in for someone, they were POPLEAR. A homerun or extra credit was FABLEEOS.So many words and phrases acquired their own suffixes. For instance, if someone said the word Life, Rayna would add “to life, to life, l’chayim!” If she heard someone referred to as rude, she’d respond by saying “rude, crude, and socially unacceptable.”  To “you got it”, she’d add “Totoya”… Progress would then necessitate her adding “is our most important product.” And “I don’t know” would elicit “That makes two of us.”And finally, her verbal love language…Topogeege….(you might remember the mouse on the Ed Sullivan show)Mista PistaSwootzieAnd Tootsie me doots.I’ve got places to go, people to see, she’d say…. F you and the horse you rode in on! And her signature display of gratitude, THANKING YOOM!Thanks to Bob for gathering all of this and so much more in one place. Here’s hoping that your private language brings you joy.Joanne’s book, “By Accident: A Memoir of Letting Go” is now available from your favorite online book seller. Stay tuned to hear if Joanne will be speaking at a bookstore near you. If you’re interested in having her come to your local bookstore, contact her directly at [email protected] or get updates on her website at joanne-greene.com and make sure to sign up for her newsletter!Joanne’s book, “By Accident: A Memoir of Letting Go” is now available from your favorite online book seller. Stay tuned to hear if Joanne will be speaking at a bookstore near you. If you’re interested in having her come to your local bookstore, contact her directly at [email protected] or get updates on her website at joanne-greene.com and make sure to sign up for her newsletter!