Abandonment triggers: listener question

I seem to have created a situation on my life including a romantic relationship which exactly mirrors the painful feelings of abandonment  from childhood. I am triggered constantly inbetween some brief periods of feeling secure and safe. I could eliminate some of triggers by ending the relationship but then I know I will be seeking again to fill that void.It is really difficult and I often feel unhappy to constantly get triggered so I want this to end but I’m very scared and maybe I will recreate it again and