Abigail

Danielle pulls a Spook Retorts in February as she recaps the “best horror movie of 2024,” Abigail. Cue a mysterious stranger who has put together what Sam argues is definitely not a heist team to kidnap a ballerina child for a ransom amount that makes no sense. Stolen from her home, Abigail (titular ballerina child) is taken to a gothic mansion in the woods to spend the night. The (not) heist team has one job: to babysit. Spoiler: it does not go well. They quickly realize that Abigail is the daughter of the mythical crime lord, Kristof Lazaar, and he may be out for blood. As the (not) heist team begin dying one by one, in increasingly and absurdly gory ways (hello exploding bodies), they begin to wonder if not everything is as it appears. And Abigail, channeling her inner Kevin McAllister, gets in on the fun. Get ready to pump up the tunes (Swan Lake, specifically), put on your ballet slippers, and join Sam as he guesses every single possible plot option, somehow getting them all correct and all wrong at the exact same time.