Welcome. I'm sorry. What you just woke up from watching Abraham's boys. Sorry.
I just welcome the watching a movie ever made Yeah, welcome to Hill of the King our series our periodic series on the filmic adaptations of the work of Joe Hill AKA little Stephen King I'm Dan. I'll enjoy by Bobby Get right because it's a little Bobby Bobby. Oh, oh German Japanese fusion. Oh, you watch that reboot.
No, it's not good Don't worry about it. I won't Bobby adult Bobby runs a German Japanese fusion restaurant. Okay If you say so, yes, he does. That's his life's work.
Oh, man No, I have not checked out the new king of the hill. Honestly, I think I've only seen like the first like maybe like four or five seasons of the original series I mean, that's where you get like many shows. Yeah, that's about probably where the quality starts today sure But man those first few seasons. That's a great show.
Oh Oh, it's fun. It is fun to do that. Remember when Tom Petty was a series regular? Oh, yeah, I do remember that.
Yeah, that's pretty cool So we're not talking about King the Hill. This is Hill of the King. We're talking about of course Abraham's boys. We're not talking about Bobby.
We're talking about Rudy Rudy Rudy Yeah, we're talking about Rudy and Max fucking Rudy and then Tyler and yeah Tyler and Kenny van Helsing or whatever Yeah, ridiculous Tyler and Skyler van Helsing Kate and then Skyler and yeah, yeah, yeah, this is Abraham's boys. I refused to know what this was going into I know you were like I said I told you that we were gonna that Abraham's boys was on the schedule and you're like what what what What are we watching? I couldn't bring my second bear to face it face down the boys Yeah, and it turns out you don't really have to because nothing happens in the movie Yeah, a guy gets his head cut off and you feel nothing You watch Bosch get you watch Bosch get this Yeah, the capitated and it's nothing it is nothing it's lighter than air when that happens. I gotta tell you man.
I Hated this You know I so we were talking before we started recording and I was like I think it's kind of like a fun premise sure and since then The idea has like curdled in my mind since then three minutes ago. Yeah, I'm like what it was I saying? Why was I saying that I listen I I don't even like if you just elevator pitched me the story It's like oh it takes place, you know several years after the story of Dracula It's van Helsing he married Mina and it's him living in America or whatever and If you if you said that I'll be like oh and then there are vampires and then you tell me no actually there aren't and you're like Okay, so what is it you're like well? It's more of a psychological drama and Frankly not even really not that I mean I mean I would say it's the that's the closest thing I could say like category I could put it in is like yeah, that's a bit of a drama.
Yeah, it's a bit of a drama Oh, and I say that because nothing happens Almost nothing happens. We spend very little time with Like I don't know we just kind of go from like the boys don't know nothing to the boys know everything and there's no There's no slow burn on it. We don't really get much on it stuff because like we don't find out the truth the full truth And like which like you can see pretty far around the bend on this one. Well, I mean Yeah, so yeah, sorry going going no just to say like you don't know what's happening the whole time Nina is like sick and dying Yes, so it's like what I'm gonna go back and rewatch this to get a better sense of like what she's going through No fucking way.
No, let's be sure yeah, you never know when Titus when boss is gonna stake you in the heart so I Was it a couple weeks ago when we watched John dies at the end right and you you hated that I didn't like it, but you are like this is some of the worst shit. I've ever seen right. That was your general vibe It's pretty galling I stand by and listen I can't argue with it and I again I don't I did not like that, but I think I was just like oh well if they're like You know they were just the whole movie is like them doing a bunch of shit none of it is fun And now the jokes are funny and they're all every scene just kind of runs into the next one But I watch that movie and I'm like where's this going what's happening whatever bad movie I watch this and I'm like fuck you Yeah, I think I think you I mean Yes in a different way it's a different it's a totally bad experience of course, but what's so we're all Really ever yes, I think I think what makes this so frustrating and like insulting is the sort of like the laziest possible nods to like quote unquote prestige horror or whatever like things like the aspect ratio and The goddamn like slow panning shots, you know the camera's on like a fucking tripod or whatever and we get those stupid sweeping landscape shots The landscape shots, we're just like let me we're not looking at anything There's no there's no role. Yeah, it's like a it's like the visual language if but like a babbling baby It's just like There's there's nothing to it.
There's no substance It's really annoying and also the fucking the score which is such a blight on movies I think we're kind of past it which is really telling you how like I think yeah That's kind of what's so annoying here is like you guys are like three years behind Yes doing all this shit all this hacky shit this shit that was hacky three years ago because there was just like a glut of it Yeah, but it's yeah, so it's like yeah the stupid just like staccato string score. It's it's man man I don't know it's like we were you were talking shit on Robert Eggers. This feels like deeply indebted to Robert I know this feels like somebody somebody ripping off Robert Edgar's Robert Eggers and your winters Yeah, and and fucking being even more boring somehow totally totally it I'm also like Titus well over what are we doing? Why him?
Why him? You need a guy who can like I mean I don't know I maybe the most sauce in the whole movie is that scary face that big scary smile He's doing right before he gets his head locked off sure and by the way, it's a drop of sauce It's not enough sauce. You're like it's it's a drop of sauce at the point where you're like was was there supposed to be some more sauce Was there when you pour the sauce out of the container? It's so little sauce that it aerosolizes.
Yeah as soon as it leaves the container But it's like he's so He's so boring and so there's no simmering rage or crazy Nothing and you need that like you need that to sell this like I can accept the stupid premise if you Kind of like lean into it. I guess or have some fun with it. Yes. Yeah, that's not what's happening No, everybody in this is just like I mean feels like everybody's just lost Yeah, what am I supposed to be doing in the scene?
You're acting crazy. Okay, like Mina is just like I'm going crazy. I'm talking to myself and whatever like okay Why Right. Yes, and and here's the thing We're saying Dracula's not real but real dracke, but she's talking about it like it really happened She's talking about his cold breath that night he broke into my room, right?
So what is he is he real or not real or is? Are we to understand that Van Helsing like the thing she thought was him was the thing she thought was Dracula's actually The evil evil Abraham Van I don't think so I Mean from what? This is what I mean, I don't the movie ultimately like people start to doubt whether Van Helsing kind of just like You know twisted the events to make it seem like there was a Dracula and they had to kill several people who were in quotations vampires or whatever and To the point where you're like, okay so the idea is Van Helsing has just always been a crazy person and he just had some sway back 20 years ago where people were following him and did it like When when a guy comes Arthur shows up. He's like I came all the way from London to California to be like to ask you Did we do something wrong like what what?
Yeah, and I don't know like there's almost There's almost something I think there could be something to the idea that like Van Helsing is leading like a witch on Sure, right like what but I don't know if I mean like what this this movie kind of touches on is it like Van Helsing Can't let it go and he's still like hunting vampires and that's like oh so he's like a so he's like a Veteran like a war vet got you who yeah who was like fighting the good fight or whatever and then came home and he's like His PTSD says I must keep killing women, but also it's like that doesn't even add up because like Lucy dies before I mean Lucy dies Before Nina gets you know enthralled with drag drag wool right so it's like the timing of that doesn't even make sense For the idea that like there ever was one real vampire. I know I don't I This feels like an extra chapter in You know well it feels like a sequel to like a to kill a mockingbird Right right that like that sequel book came out like a few years ago go settle watch man Go set a fucking watch and it's go get your shine box, but go but go set a watch Yeah, yeah, but it does what it feels and then like you know It's it somehow like you're taking this like sort of classic piece of literature and you're being like well What if we Subverted everything from the first the story, but like didn't have a point you have no point of view What do you think it acts? It's just sort of like impressed with this little kernel of an idea and Willing to just let it be there also I think this movie probably cost ten dollars if I mean it grossed 200,000 So well that's you gotta hope you gotta hope otherwise your I mean it's a shutter original right so it doesn't matter Well my point is like it couldn't have cost too much I mean the shutter original movies they can like they're not like super, you know, they're not big budget movies But they they get like small budgets and you know Take a take an idea and run with it. This is like take an idea and once you stick it under your pillow sleep on it and Call me oh, I I'm sorry.
I take it back. It is it was distributed by shutter. It's not a shutter original There you go. It's from a company called t-shop productions, right?
And I'm just sort of like scrolling through here. I see Old Pierce Brosnan training a boxer I see the who's the kid from Stranger Things? That's what was it? He's not one of the main guys No, no, he's not one of the main guys.
He's like Joe or something. No Joe. You know how there's like a Joe from Stranger Things I see him. This is not good.
It's not good. It's not good what I'm seeing no No, I don't care for this at all But we watched it didn't we we did we watch everything by Stephen King and his offspring Joe Hill Last week we watched Blackphomb 2 Kind of another story about boys, but you know boys at the bottom of the lake couple of some boys at the top of the lake More interesting absolutely, you know what you know, it's interesting. I mean interesting is the wrong word, but I think it's worth noting that Abraham's boys You're just saying it is from the same short story collection as the black phone Yeah, which I think says something about Joe Hill like his uh his market saturation Mm-hmm, you know, we always talk about how Stevie like it got to a point where they just had to start pulling lesser short stories Yeah, so it's got a little juice these black phones are doing well. They're doing well enough.
Yeah maybe no sphratu gets a season three you're talking about no sphortu the Charlie make story there the story of Christmas stone. Yeah, we need like a Manks and Grogo style What's this a being being part of course? Yes, manks and manks and Bing. Yeah, the bank the makes and Bing movie Yeah, this uh, I I mean like I I watched this today, and I gotta tell you I kept falling asleep It's up.
I woke up like we wound it to where I left off watch some more then fell asleep again It's I found that I kept clock because I had to do the same thing like I said I gave up and stopped I find I would clock out at the exact same spot every time I tried to rewatch a scene Movie is hypnotic It's really bad. It doesn't even like for all of its like pretenses of being like a film. It doesn't look good at all It's barely a film so this barely film The directed by Natasha karmani say Yeah written and directed by Natasha Um Tosh I don't touch point out. Yeah, neither looks like you know she did some other couple of the movies She contributed a segment to VHS 1985.
You ever see any of those VHS movies? No, you're the I hear they're pretty good Or at least the first one maybe yeah I mean I think I've only seen a couple of them. They're all they're just anthology kind of movies So you know yeah the stories they're like they're quick. They're in and out So if it's not that good you're on to the next one sure the ones that I've seen have had like some some pretty decent segments in there though And now they have like they basically come out every year.
It's like one year now, and it's not you know, it's fine You know, it's like well not I like that there's like a steady anthology series. Yeah, they're coming out people are watching them I don't know but they seem like relatively inexpensive and shit so whatever sure Let me set based on a short story about Joe Hill Starring twisted mind. Yeah Starring Titus Welver Bosch Detective Hieronymus Bosch himself. Yeah As Abraham Van Helsing brom Of course, and then you have Brady Yeah, I've heard of Brahms the boy, but Brahms boys and Brahms boys That's a new one.
That's a fucking new one. Yeah, what about Brady hepner as Max as the dim-witted Max You don't know shit about math do you Max? Brady hepner a Hill alum is he a whole alum? Yeah, he's in the black phone.
He plays Vance I think one of the dead kids. No nice. He's also a pain alum. Yeah, he was Teddy in the holdovers Yes, he's the kid who I think is the shitty rich kid right shitty rich kid who's dad like has a helicopter cop I'm like pick him up.
He's fucking awesome in that. Yeah, honestly. He's like, I don't know. He's not bad in this It's just like a nothing rolling a nothing movie.
I mean I guess nobody If I mean if the whole thing is bad and people are just like in it. Are they bad? I don't know no no look It's not a guilt by association thing that money spends yeah, the check clears we maybe we don't actually know that with this one and then you have Judah McKee as Rudy van Helsing Judah as Ruda Van Helsing the slow down slow down. Sorry.
Sorry He's the younger of the brothers who's scared Kind of he seems like there's like I don't know man. He's pretty inconsistent from seeing the scene sometimes He seems like right he's smarter than Max better than math anyway. He's better at math But I don't know better math he that's why you name a max on math. Am I right?
That's right math But also there's like that scene remember when Max goes into the barn Yeah, sorry when when Max goes into the barn and he's just like sitting there like kind of odd and suspicious like he's doing something wrong Yes, like what's this and it goes it's nothing. It's just like bad direction. Yes Nothing um like every single scene. I was like alright something is going to happen here like something has to happen and I was wrong I'm wrong and even when things like do happen technically they happen in the most boring possible way It's it's really something else You got Jocelyn Donahue King alum Yes, yes, dr.
Sleep. I don't I saw that. I don't remember her character I don't think she is you know, there's like the little girl little girl. She's like the the main girl There's like you and McGregor and then the little girl who like also has the shining who like yeah They the one whose parents get killed No, no, no, maybe one of them maybe dad.
I can't remember off the dome, but her name is Abra Yes, it's Abra's mom. Okay. She plays Abra's mom. Okay.
Okay Small why would I remember that? I got a lot going on. I'm very busy What about Aurora a Perino as out of Aurora Perino she's in this she is She walks in and out of the movie couple times She's just like kind of like looking at sconcet the family of inhalesing the whole time. Yes, nothing ever really comes of it she's very pretty and her her Line deliveries are way too modern for this yeah, like her vibe is too modern to do my yeah, I forget who somebody said this and They just whatever they pointed out like some people just have a face that looks like they Have like an iPhone, you know, I don't even know about that.
It really was just like I mean for me I don't know about that, but I think she just like nice. She was playing it way too. She's too casual She was not too cash old timey not all time enough Hmm also real quick Jocelyn Donahue also in this movie from last year last stop in Yuma County Talked about oh, you're always talking about this thing. You should watch that movie.
That's a it's a it's a Should we watch it Friday? Maybe maybe do a Jocelyn a Jocelyn Donahue double feature. We could do that I mean it would be a good excuse to watch a movie like yeah, it's a good movie It's like a crime sort of thriller with some some fun aspects to it. Yeah, she's also in Taco Bell nacho fries retrieval Mmm.
Oh my god Dan, did you know today is national talk? Oh no a national nacho day the day we're recording this is National whose day is it not your day? It's not my day. That's right.
Yeah, I get it Gita nacho No, it's not up for the gym. I told you that's that's a very disrespectful To nacho American culture maybe I'll bring nachos to the gym. Yeah That's not bad. Is that a little no?
I mean Planet Fitness famously used to do like big old Fridays or whatever you go Big old at the gym. That's crazy. Yeah, I heard they have When you walked in to Planet Fitness to the lunk alarm just go off immediately. Yeah, they were like what the fuck in the one?
Oh gosh No, I had a friend of mine I was asking about Planet Fitness as a gym like what's the deal and she was like, you know, whatever it's fine I used to work there she said told me about the lunk alarm like what is that? I've never heard it go off. I think it's more of a threat. It's like a Nucleate how like nuclear warheads.
They're just a deterrent. Yes finger fingers crossed on that one. Yes. There's like a clock And it's like we're two minutes from two minutes Two reps from the lunk alarm.
Yeah, we're two grunts away from sounding the lunk alarm. Hey, what our goal is to by the end of the year get to 30 odd Foot of grants. Yeah Should we uh, oh man feel like a music review episode. Yeah, that'd be fun.
That'd be fun It would be because like I feel like 30 odd yards of grants is it yard over foot 30 yards crazy because that's like 90 odd No idea. Of course. You're right. It's um 30 odd foot of grants.
Yeah, 30 yards would just be too far too many too many foot of grants. That's the way that's crazy What do you know Australian rock group formed in 1992? Okay, you say so I Active from 92 to 2005 not active anymore these guys after it's so funny that after 13 years they were like Let's hang it up boys. Yeah, I don't know if this is gonna pan out Russell's never around for practice.
Yeah, you won't show up for practice anymore man You know, it's a crazy that there are two actors with bands and their band name start with 30 that is weird two famous actors leading men Yeah, well one leading man one leading boy. Yeah one leading man and one Sexual deviance. Yeah, not a good person. It's not a piece of shit.
He's a huge piece of shit in like a distinctly Los Angeles way. Yeah, I love But uh, Tron Aries right came out a couple weeks ago and movie is like Very bad and you know, it's him playing. He's like a like a an AI robot guy, whatever So all of it all of his lines are very sort of stilted like this right Wow way to bring a fresh day Yeah, and all the articles like the movie didn't do well and often it's like It's like it's a it's Jared leto done as a leading man And we did like what yeah, he was ever a leading man led nothing he led What's it called like homunculus the vampire? Oh no more be as that's it the living vampire the living vampire No, he's the living computer.
Yes, computer. He's never had a successful movie No, and anytime he's been he's wound up in successful movies. Yeah, but not as a lead like yeah He was in a Blade Runner 2049. That's good.
He's like the American Gal Gadot Oh, where it's like someone somewhere someone powerful is insisting that we want this enough champagne to fill the Nile My god, yes Gal Gadot Gal Gadot is that the right way to say it? I don't care Not my concern. No my business. Yeah, he's guy.
He's got a guy. He is guy. They should do a movie together Sure. Yeah, you turn on the projector.
Just everyone gets sucked in A black hole of charm Wow, I mean just the yeah, the idea of a guy with a rich history of sexual impropriety and a former IDF self Sure in top billing That's what the world needs now. I think to heal we should cast them opposite each other and some They they should star in some sort of a sci-fi action romantic movie, you know where they're both maybe robot people Play to their strengths. Yes. Yes that they can't act.
Yes through strengths that they can't like my greatest strength is that I don't come off like I know what I'm doing How's this song here? Let's see. Oh, this is three. Yeah, I'm thirty odd.
Okay Seems like not embarrassing. It's like replacement level 90s all yeah On second thought Shout out Of course Same oceans from the album bastard life or clarity It's just words jam together bastard life or clarity not there's no comma there. It's bastard life or clarity give me bastard life or give me That that move of going oh Hun throw in the H in there. That's a bad idea.
Someone should stop that Yeah, I don't know What I you know like when I hear a band sound like that Like why are you even playing music? I do feel that way right like what what compelled you to make this absolute fucking Baking as music. Yeah, like you're basically you're the band that Adriana discovers Yep tea it's the guy from gladiator Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah fucking oh man, you know Joey pants Oh my god, what do you mean? You don't list not 30 odd foot of grunge and then he fucking comes out with the sword Oh, man, okay, okay, so and then he's like are you not entertained?
This is like a we're so many tangents removed here. Well, yeah This all is because of Aurora perino I think somehow Yeah Here's a well shout out here. I mean Jonathan Howard plays Arthur Homewood Do you remember our home would from drag Bram Stoker's Dracula play by that's Kerry Eloise? Oh?
Yeah, yes, yes. Yeah, it's what's her name's husband Lucy's Yes, yes, yeah, um, can you like here's the other thing too is that like when I think of like You know like this is a you know continuation of the Dracula story with the Van Helsing, right? Okay, and he like all of this as the Dracula stuff is supposed to be taking place 20 years earlier So I just picture Bram Stoker's Dracula copa was Dracula taking place and then 20 years later this Right where I'm like that was so visually exciting to watch and like everybody was red in that movie they had read they have read Dracula is like a big dog man who's like fucking Lucy, you know, you know, fuck you know like a cemetery or whatever And she and she by the way, yeah, it's having the time of her life. Yeah, she fucking loves it Because he's good man.
Yeah, he is his penis. It's not even like it's huge. It's just shaped perfect I've heard of a I've heard of a stick man, but a lipstick man because he's a dog man. I get it.
Yeah, I That's another one a stick man. I stick man. You got me thinking about stick man. That's so funny It's so funny and I use it all the time whenever I can I whenever you're talking about a guy on my guy's a stick man Anyway, yeah, it's just so yeah.
Oh, sorry. Go ahead. No, it's just so crazy that these are supposed to take place in like Relatively the same world, you know, I know I think the only other cast member I feel the need to shout out here is of course Larry cedar as father Leon sure Larry cedar We we just well of course Dan knows him from dead wood I know I know him from dead wood to where him and I just well for probably hung out all the time sure He plays a character named Leon in that which is cool. Is he the Yes, yes, yes, but other viewers or other listeners may know him from community Oh, yeah, he played as Chevy Chase's dad and his hair is made of a single piece of ivory.
That's very funny too It's a very funny joke. He's also in kind of in the movie Constantine, which we watched recently He's what's going on there. He plays. He's like remember that like big pile of like bugs.
Oh, right? Yeah. Yeah. He's like that I see no, yeah Okay, well, let's zip through the plot in 10 minutes 10 minutes 10 seconds man.
It's so all right the movie. I love the fucking the stupid fucking text card Oh, where it's like it's just like I wish I remembered what it said, but it's just like it's like oh, I'll tell you it says Oh, please please I have observed how the infected feed on the blood of their victims to sustain themselves The disease spreads to the victims and the cycle continues if not stopped I fear this evil could overwhelm the entire world the locals have a name for this disease vampirism from the medical journal of Abraham Van Helsing MD 1895 I'm just like Okay, right. Okay. There's no and by the way No, sort of like bearing on the rest of the story of this story.
No, yeah, not at all All you can think it's it's a huge mr Act because you think that they're gonna be vampires in this movie you think they're gonna be vampires or perhaps the vampires are real The locals have a name for it, but it's just made up it turns out Oh, do you do you think that it's in within the this world this movie vampirism is made up? I know that's what is presented as like the idea here, but is that what you think I? Kind of I kind of do I don't know. I mean like I guess all we really know is that there was one vampire Like I guess there's a version of the truth of this where dracula really was a vampire Uh-huh and then he just went crazy and was like every woman I meet is also vampire right they're trying to But the steal my fluids right yeah, they want my ropes He's like a It's sterling Hayden and dr.
Strange love yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, jacty ripper But yeah, I mean right because he's like Lucy. She's being kind of weird. She's kind of horny for like a woman Yeah, she is a little boy. She's got a guy I just really hate it when women are too horny And it's like I don't know fucking opposite of a man this guy Abraham.
Yeah, harker dies. Yeah presumably Because drac well he Mina says that That van Helsing killed her husband killed oh, okay, okay, so I don't know I guess yeah We're supposed to assume that like there is no dracool okay, right especially because like the opening shot We see the lady get abducted and it's just to learn it's just him right so that sort of suggests that there never was There never was a vampire well To me The way that I interpreted this was like whatever the events of Dracula happened and all of that Like I said, it's all of that is like real and then 20 years later It like I said like he's just like a PTS guy at PTSD guy now where he's just like I think everybody's a vampire And vampires are back and I got I got work to do maybe he's like he has lead poisoning or something He's just like I have to stake every woman that I see I don't know cut off the head of every woman. I don't know Yeah, I don't know it's hard to say cuz like the meaner thing too. It's like Seems like maybe just killed harker and started giving me a rotten blood transfusion, so she'd be sick Yeah, you know a bit of munchausen.
I mean there is a munchausen but proxy thing going on here So there's a after that we got the little chyron there with vampirism And yes the aspect ratio ratio Ratio is your classic for three like an old timey Sort of film right now why not a widescreen on a letterbox And we see a you think of that How do you feel about that do you care one way or the other about the about the aspect ratio? No, it's a stylistic choice that like you know in some movies it makes sense I guess in other movies. I'm like it doesn't I don't know why you did that like the shining is in fourth ring and Whenever like and Kubrick did that because of like televisions, you know, it wasn't like at least that's what the you know The word is that he just was like right it's gonna be on television, so I'm just in in fourth ring whatever right You're right now. It's a stylistic choice, but but yes like the water You're making sort of like like no strata It's just whatever my feeling is a 20-foot.
If you're gonna make a stylistic choice. You better have some style Yeah, be interesting right. It's just like I don't know the movie goes to black and white for a second at one point for no reason Yeah, it's dumb. It's dumb Ada is walking down this like this path.
It's gotten horse rides by she's like it you take me to town Lady I'd buy me dinner first. Yeah, lady take it it down No, and then I don't know she's walking down this fucking road and then we just see like this black cloak fucking just grabber, right? And then that's it. Um is that like You know vampires or vampires back is van Halcyn gonna have to you know kill vampires now again That's like that's the same part is in California.
Where's Alice Cooper? Yeah All right, I like vampires. Where's Johnny Depp? Where's Joe Perry?
Oh, yeah, right? It's amazing. Where's uh Probably Duff McCake Right, right Where's uh, his name Neil? Neil From that hair metal band.
Oh um Vince Neil Vince Neil Vince Neil. Where's Nikki six? Where's uh, where's like what's a Matt Sorin? Which one's that he's a he's the drummer or he was a drummer for Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver You know he doesn't need that he doesn't need that guys a fucking metronome back there.
He is a metronome So and then so we see this woman get abducted or whatever and then we cut to Van Halcyn walking to his his beautiful country home. It's a nice house that they live in here I thought so right where what part of California do you think this is supposed to be northern California wine country? That'd be wine country, right? It's probably gonna be a vineyard right where probably gonna get um fucking Apologia Monty Apologia Monty was playing Van Halcyn that would have been something Choice was made the idea that apologia Monty character could produce two sons My big strong boys.
Yeah, or like manipulate a woman into like a different country like a beautiful woman Gorgeous one Let's go move to California Um, I'm gonna put all of our son's blood in you all of our son's blood is is there a problem with that Wow Dad why are you know dad why are you making mom sick? Wow? It's very funny you're telling me Brady you tell me Brady had never couldn't pull a few strings calling a favor right from his favorite professor Paul Giamatti. Yeah his favorite stinky professor.
Oh, it's not like fish That would be so good the holdovers. Yeah, it's uh, I like to under pain He's cooking he cooks man That a lifetime of congratulations Alexander painted on a lifetime of cooking give that good that motherfucker give an Oscar give him a James Beard Award give him a chef's hat because make cooks all right um Man that That shot in the holdovers when they all go to that party right like the waitress invites them to their Christmas party or whatever And he thinks that like she is into him and then her boyfriend shows up and he sees it and he just is sitting on the couch there it It fucking got you like a fish like a stinky fish that smells like Paul Giamatti and holdovers and it's you know We don't have time to talk about the we have plenty of time to talk about all over sorry almost done regapping Brand's boys. Yes. Um, it's just like it hit.
I don't know. Um, you know you got the sideways of it all Yeah, and that hits hard, but it hits so much harder now. He's an old man. Yes, right and he opens his heart up That's I mean, that's the fucking thing of it right is that he's just like I am this like closed off Guy I am you know, just I don't open myself up and then oh there's like just like a spark of something Like I'll open myself up a little bit and then no no you shouldn't have done that I was talking to um It's talking to i was talking to a friend of mine about uh You know just a just a ban that I like that he just discovered and what band uh you ever listened to pre-fab sprout No, they're just like a well They're I want to say an Irish pop-end from the 80s and it's like there's this one album and it's frickin What's his name?
Doleby Thomas Doleby? Wow Thomas did Thomas Doleby just played uh at the Count Casey really like a week ago. Oh, man You should have gone to that one. I don't know but you know, anyway, it's like I don't know There's this album and it sounds fucking I mean right because this is the king.
This is the symphlorit of the 80s and um But also the songwriting is just like so sophisticated and lyrics are beautiful and the king of rock and roll is that them? Yes. Yes. Yes.
I know that song. There's better stuff Oh, I'll check it out. I do know that song and I like that song so there's an there's an album called Steve McQueen that I'll just recommend to everybody It's fucking amazing. Um, but yeah, he was like it just by chance He's like have you ever heard this band like I love that band?
I love that album and He was like we were talking about and he was just like kind of gushing and he was like I feel like a fucking child Right like the way I'm talking about this. I was like, yeah, but like you get so like the older you get and the more you experience the fewer moments You get like that so you got a hundred percent. You got a ride that's yeah And that's what happened to Paul Giamatti is he had one of those moments and and he had to ride it and he had to ride it into a Into the site into the plane is crashed into the goddamn mountain. Yes, but you have to do it.
I guess it's a deal Is that like the Thing about life is that you have to do these things even when you like you're like, oh, but what if it's doomed and then it is doomed And you're like, uh, I shouldn't have done it, but you actually it was the thing you actually you had to do it. Yeah, you You yeah, I mean, it's God there's a sucks man now. I'm just like free associating but uh go on It's a very beautiful light. I wish I had the book on me But there's a very good line about this in the in the novel G.
Vani's room by James Baldwin, which is all about like a gay guy a bunch of gay guys Okay, go on No, but like it's like in what when is it said? I don't know in the past. Uh, pre-like being allowed to be out. Yeah, yeah Um, and there's this guy who's like dating this woman or whatever, but he meets this bartender and he's just like basically he he like sort of um He doesn't sleep with the guy but he there's this like gay guy with money He knows and he just like flirts with him and like pals around with him so that the guy like pay for him To just like live his life.
He's like broke or whatever. Yeah, um, and it then this younger guy like meets a bartender And they have like this crazy infatuation or whatever and the guy who he's sort of like, you know, uh milking for money He's like sugar daddy. Yeah, yeah is basically just like you need to like follow that to the all the way through Because if you don't the next thing you know, you're gonna be me Yeah, a guy who can't like can't feel any emotion around any of this because I've denied it and delayed it for so long Yeah, now I just have to like pay hot twinks like you to drink one with me for a couple hours. Yeah, that is um Bleak.
Yeah, that is uh bone chilling. Yeah I was like I was like put the book down. Yeah, I gotta walk away. I can't I can't be here in that.
Oh shit. All right. Um, wow Yeah, yeah, I mean really yeah, it's all about you gotta self-actualize. You do have to self-actualize you have to Oh, man, someone's gonna hear this and go commit like a political assassination listen.
We're like not that's not necessarily what we meant That's not who is it? Who are you thinking about who's on the list? Yeah, um, I mean, you know, if you're listening to the show, you know where we stand so I don't know I'm not saying don't do it, but don't do it. Don't do it.
No, no No, don't do it. No, don't do it That was a visual thing. Yeah. Yeah.
No, but seriously seriously. Don't seriously don't do it. Violence is wrong always always always don't do it This thing violence is always wrong. It's always wrong always so um being a violence Abraham's boys.
Um, what boys Uh, we meet Mina. She's like, uh, you know, she's just like Running around the house. This is like 18 or I'm sorry 1918. I want to say 1920 ish.
Yeah, give or take. Um, so like whatever it's like it doesn't We never really leave this farm. So and this farm is not like a Say like work in farm like it's not like they're Doing anything and not like tilling the fields or anything like that they have a barn. They have a horse I'm not sure what else like he's a doctor.
So maybe he has money. He's just like independently wealthy now So he just they just chill and Uh, I just think about yeah, I mean everything must cause nothing out there at this point. I suppose. Yeah So, uh, she just kind of runs the household.
Um, what did you think of the scene where uh max van housing is taking a bath and Uh, Abraham walks in and says max can I talk to you? Uh, I believe that a uh, a long forgotten Darkness, uh, is is, uh, coming back and I'm going to need your help while he's in the bathtub What do we think of this? Why does this have to be here? I mean the whole thing is sort of just like riffing on like different ways.
You can have an abusive father, right? Yes, yeah, um, or be an abusive husband, I guess Yeah, and so I don't know boundaries. Yeah, the implicate. There's just no boundaries and uh, I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I'm like, uh, yeah, just like whatever and he's like, yes, yes, pah, yes I will and he's like you're a good point max and then you know later that night he has Uh max is sleeping he wakes up. He hears a noise and he goes downstairs and his mom is like crying and like talking to herself or like Maybe talking to like the ghost of drackel.
I don't know. Um, and he's like what are you doing? And she's like, oh nothing. Uh, she's just like one of those Uh Yeah, like this it's a lot of especially in the first half hour.
I feel like we're it's nothing is happening, right? It's like I'm like, okay, so this is like setting things up Yeah, and then like an hour into the movie like we're setting things up And like all right is all are the last like 10 minutes of this movie going to be like gonna go so fucking hard Nope, we're actually gonna set that we're gonna knock down everything we've been setting up Now get out of this get out of my theater. Get out of my fucking theater. Yeah, I mean, it's tough Right you kind of paint this i'm sure work so much better as a short story because it is so it's like about paranoia and delusion and all These things that are better.
It's better handled in like the first person It's barely about these things though. I mean the movie is that's like they're trying to get at right sure But it is not executed at all. No, no the movie is not about anything But like I think I think it's fair to say that like a better execution Yeah, these are things that it's kind of hinting at on the margins. Um, but instead all that happens is like you paint yourself into the corner of like None of this is real presumably right and so the only times you get any kind of like scares or threat of something scary happening by Because you're like shackled by your own logic is like when max has a dream that he saw mommy kissing drug wool Yes, uh, yes, it's true.
That's it. We got like two of those it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter like I don't The so the character of lc comes over with her brother eddy who eddy just had an accident on the farm And I don't know if he was like stepped on by a horse or run over or some shit. I don't know he He stepped on I think 12 rakes in a row.
Yeah, he was standing in a circle of rakes. It turns out They uh, you know, uh, then housing is the nearest doctor So he you know he operates and he's got a broken rib that's punctured along so he like Uh, you know, he like it does some quick surgery opens up the the lung so we can breathe and then sets them on on their way So you're like, all right So van house. Bye. Yeah, okay like the character of lc is like Nothing she comes back a little later to say thank you and mean it is like watch out at night and she's like, okay Got it.
Goodbye. Yeah, I was doing that already because I like the yodie is yeah. Yeah, please don't uh, please don't talk to me anymore Yeah, her whole thing is just like I don't like you guys. I don't like your deal.
I don't like your deal your vibe is off and i'm I don't dig it. Um So so like Yeah, we got the scene where max is bad at math And we see van house abraham being like a bad root dad. He's like you're a fucking idiot like a kid half your age could do this shit Yes, and you know, he's he's just like a yes like an abusive dad whatever Um, we get I don't know me. He's getting worse is slowly getting sicker.
Um, now why is she getting sicker? Uh because he's doing quack medicine from the late 1800s on her is that what i know that he he's doing that Like when she's bedridden and stuff, but do we see him doing that like before that takes place or is this just like It's like kind of an unspoken thing like oh, he's pro he's poisoning her somehow to make her sick So he can do like his monchasim by proxy thing. I think it's pretty pretty heavily implied like stuff like but like we don't see him doing it Yes, we don't really see him doing it. I mean it's kind of hinted at with that when she's making the blood pudding which like yeah Oh the motion.
Yeah, she's yeah She has like an elixir that he made and so special bloodily. Okay, you get the yeah you get the impression that he's sort of like controlling Everything and then wait should talk they're doing the blood pudding thing and then a bat gets into the house How did the bat get in here? It flew And then they bury it he buries the bat bury the bat Oh, yeah, you probably just like throw that from the front door out into the yard. No, I would you just chuck it.
No, yeah, i'm sorry But he doesn't get a proper burial. It's like we're having bat for lunch. Yes Um, quite a way i was thinking about it remember how we're like it's weird that drac is a rat who's a bat Yeah, um Do you think it's because bats are like rats with wings they kind of look like rats with wings Yeah They're vermin things. Yeah, this guy the vermin of the sky Well, the jack is also wolves He's also what one time he was wolves.
Oh, that counts one time What's that counts? Yeah, I guess I don't know what someone spin on is that he's wolves normally he's either working against wolves a lot twilight or with wolves to scare Evan custom I Movies funny as hell. I like that movie. Yeah, of course.
It's great. I listen I'm I grow up watching those happening castell movies and no when they meet frankenstein. Yeah What could be better truly what could be better? That's like that's the first horror comedy really and My dad just tell me all the time.
He was like I saw that when I was a kid and it scared the shit out of me Uh, when uh because of how mean I mean it is the costello yes, I mean Costello it's the classic like, you know, he sees something scary and he's like Yeah That's great always funny. Yeah, yeah when uh when fucking what's his name Ryan? Gosling does it in the nice guy still does the exact same thing like this He's a student. He's a student of lu.
Yeah, he's a he's a master of the craft here He's he's standing on the shoulders of giants. Honestly him doing that is kind of like fat guy blackface Fat coward blackface. He's doing chubface right now. He's doing chub face More offensive to me than fat bastard so So yeah, I don't know.
I mean it gets sick. We see this when we see like the treatments She's getting her blood, you know bunk blood transfusions Um for just whoever's around boy Max becomes a blood boy. Yeah, Abraham's a bit of a brian johnson. Yes.
He's like the lead singer. Basically I don't have a brian john. I'm not it now. No, you're gonna make the mic.
I'm gonna blow it out. Yeah Isn't that crazy like I think about this all the time? That they were like we need another guy with a voice like a crazy boy, right? They're like, oh man Bonskout it's such a distinctive voice.
Yeah, what are we gonna do? And then they find this alcohol like it was just like doing the most insulting impression of a dead guy Yeah, you're like you're hired. Yes nice hat. Yeah, all right.
Yeah, you're hot. That's pretty good. Yeah You're hired and Good because we're about to write the one of the most essential rock albums of all time Oh, and by the way, it's gonna sound so good that engineers are gonna use it to sound check the ace Yes No, that they always use back back in black back in black is like that song specifically because it sounds so fucking perfect It's just I mean it does There's so many crazy. Yeah That album does rule though I mean like I if you want to talk once like acdc It's bonskout all the way of course back in black fucking riffs bonskout was he had so much riz Bonskout just a silly little guy being like what if we wrote a song called fucking Big balls.
Yeah, I got big balls. What if I'm on the bush. Yeah, what if I wrote a song called whole lot of rosy better But a heavy set lady that I want to fuck Go for it, man. Yeah, right?
Oh, yeah, I'll listen to it. I will listen to it. I will rock out too hard Yeah, I really like you know, they're just on every classic rock radio station So it's just like one of those things that's always there but kind of like one of the best rock bands of all time They're it's really hard to like one of those they're a lot like zeezy top to me in the sense that they there's They're dumb like they're dumb. They're four dumb guys, but they're just like a great tight band.
Yes, you know, yes Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. It does it right. It doesn't make a lot of sense and you're like it doesn't like I don't know why This works so well and like why all of these riffs are just so they just stick in your fucking head Like yeah, you can as soon as you hear like the first note of an acdc song you're like oh, that's this one or whatever like right somehow It's like the same acorn every time you're like oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it's yeah, it's amazing Abraham's voice so What uh fucking oh max and Rudy they're they're outside they're throwing the football around we get a the room esque football tossing a deflated football that they're Fair.
Yeah, it's like 1900. Yeah We know come on. They do have a oh, it's also I think even oh no, this is that scene Yeah, where they go to the basement. Yeah, I was gonna say they do have ice so they do you remember when remember when Titus is like go get some ice for your shiner.
Yeah, anyway. Yeah, they're tossing the football They're clannin around just being just brothers just brothers having for him's boys Being Abraham's boys and Rudy takes them all he runs away And as a goofy jumping climbs into the house through the window. Yeah, which is the funniest thing you could do back then It's like what are you doing? It's like when the donkey ate the ball of figs a guy last I already died You know about that?
Yes. Yeah, good bit. That's good. It's a classic bit Um and they they end up in dad's study.
They're not Rudy. Oh, we're not supposed to be that study Rudy Yes, they're not supposed they're not allowed in the study Um, but they're where dad keeps his experiments. Yes And he they knock over like a picture break the fucking frame again This thing we spend so much time looking at that the picture frame, right? And it has no payoff or now discernible significance that I picked up.
I don't know no not at all Did you I thought for sure he was gonna like cut his hand Opening up with all the jagged glass. Yeah. Yeah, and then he cuts himself starts bleeding And then like and then because of what happens next where they're like, oh, what's behind this curtain here? And oh, it's a door to the basement and they open up the door to the basement and they see a lady crawl like and this was like I was like, okay, here we go.
Here's something's here's the juice a lady crawls out of the darkness, which is scary always She's just like help me And and then it's that lady from the beginning. Yes, it is a lady from the very beginning that was walking ada And and then van Helsing runs into he comes into the office there And he goes down the stairs and stakes this woman straight in the heart and little Rudy sees this and screams at the top of his lungs Uh cut to the next scene her laying there dead on this slab and van Helsing being like All right max You're in charge of driving the stake through her heart because she was a vampire You could tell by the puncture wounds on her neck, which they don't show That's really okay And then you know he hammers that the fucking spike through her heart Which and then she like she does like turn her head when he does it But it seems like it might just be like a reflex of right like a like a dead body, you know, right Um, but it's you know, it's jarring Uh, and then van Helsing's like all right now Rudy you have to you're in charge of cutting her head off And he's like no, I don't want to dot you now listen to me boy Listen boy, you cut that one set off Oh, but dad and then max is like, you know get away from him, but you know, you know, Abraham slaps him right in the face like Don't you ever fucking tell me you know defend your brother when i'm trying to make him cut a woman set off Um, they do then they bury that lady. We see very her Approximately six six inches deep six inches deep and 12 feet from the house and I do I mean I like the I like the head the severed head with the garlic in the mouth sure that looks good It looked good when they move the body and the head just kind of rolls on the ground a little bit Yeah, and you're forced to think to yourself yuck Yuck not gross gross gross. Yes.
And after this. I don't know max Yeah, max right has that conversation with Abraham where he's like What if I just ran away? What if I took your horse and left because you're a loco your your looney tunes brother Yes, and he's like where are you gonna go? And it's kind of just like I don't know anywhere It's the past that like I have just as good a chance of surviving in this house as I do in the woods You know or we're like I don't know a town instead of just this house in the middle of nowhere Yeah in reality.
It's you know 1918 as soon as I get over that hill over there, you'll never you'll never be able to find me That's it or you're done man. Um, but for some reason this works. I mean for some reason. I guess it's like Abraham.
He's a controlling Uh lunatic. Yeah, which I mean like we see that he's a controlling lunatic We don't see it enough. No, and it doesn't escalate or develop or really evolve. It doesn't it doesn't feel like it No, no, you're right.
It doesn't it should be escalating the entire time like him hitting his kid is new information Sure, but it again. It's just none of this registers like it all None of it. There's no weight to anything that happens in this. I don't know and I think maybe it's because By the time that even happens like I'm so out.
Yeah, I'm so far out on this by the time that happens we're 50 minutes into the movie When he slaps his son and you're like, okay, and then like I'm right there with you I was like checking the time constantly here. I'm like all right 40 minutes left. All right, we were Remember how arrogant we were I know we're like, uh, this is only 90 minutes felt like For like two hours. I feel like two and a half hours.
I know it's so dumb. So mina dies, right? I mean it has that thing she says where she's like oh, yeah, she's like uh Remember you remember when remember when you uh, it came to me that night And he was there and you know, he came with his icy cold breath and all that shit And he's like yeah, and she's like yeah Well, yeah Sometimes I wonder if you were saving me or just pulling me deeper into your little crazy crazy world. Yes Damn and then she says time to die She was back.
Yes, cut to her funeral where what's his name from deadwood? That Larry cedar father Leon I loved this by the way, right? They do like the funeral rites or whatever and um As they're leaving or you know after he's done. He just says all he said all he can say to uh, Abraham is just she was a very beautiful Well, he's like, you know, I know she's dead, but but what what a snack.
Yeah Um, yeah, I don't know uh max. I don't know Rudy breaks max his guitar. Yep. Uh that means nothing has nothing uh arthur uh, what's his name arthur uh home wood shows up right from the dracula story and he says he's like I came from london All the way here to ask like do you think what we did was right?
Do you think like maybe They weren't vampires. I don't know. I've had a lot of doubts like Yeah, and he's like you made me kill my wife man. Yeah, and he's just kind of like man And van Helsing is like he's basically like get the fuck out of my house.
He's like i'm sick of people asking me about this Yeah, he does like he hits him with like a I forget what the insult is but it's that was kind of good There was a a drop of juice in that it was like some unexpected It's called some like some sort of like inbred pampered fuck. Yeah, he just goes in on him Dandy boy like you some shit like that you pig fuck Yeah, yeah, it's a bit of a pig fuck. Yeah. Yeah, um Not not as much doesn't put as much fucking life into it.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's a full-side horseman But but I felt I felt at least like the writing of that moment was kind of interesting because like at least we're getting some fucking nowhere Yeah, it's so hard right in the gut. Um verbally Yeah, arthur leaves And uh, and then max is like all right. I'm going to leave now I'm done here and and abraham is like all right.
That's cool. Um, why don't you uh just have a drink with me before you go? And then he's like, okay, and he pours him a fucking drink and he puts it down on the table and He goes to reach for he goes to reach for it and he grabs his hand and abraham just stabs a knife through the kid's hand And then throws him down the stairs into the basement into the basement you go Unfortunately for abraham is filled with medical supplies. Yeah, so the kid's able to patch it up right quick Yeah, he he patches up his hand.
He breaks through the door Uh abraham and young rutie now, uh, like he's he's like all right my oldest son He's gotten too old for me to believe my lives the young one. He still believes it So i'm going to take him and we're gonna go to the like there's like a is it a mining camp? I think our land surveyors Maybe like as you see the one guy with like the the special telescope or whatever. Yeah.
Yeah, okay So he's gonna go there and basically kill all of the vampires that are there So he uh he kills one guy. Is he just like fucking like Slice him in the face or something the first guy that like goes like already He pulls him into the shadows and then when he cut when he emerges his face is all jacked up. Yeah Um lc, uh the woman from earlier that's her brother got hurt. Uh, she's there abraham is like all right now rutie We're gonna have to drive a stake through her heart and cut off her head and rutie's like, I don't wanna do it He's like you will do this right.
Um max is picks up an axe and he's heading towards there Um rutie, uh, abraham gives rutie the knife to cut off her head The roots the stake in the oh the stake and the mallet So he stakes him and then wacks it in with the mallet rutie steaks abraham. Yes. Yes. Yes And uh and then he's like and then max comes out and he takes drops the axe down on like on every hand shoulder There's shoulder and it's like He's acting like nothing happened.
Sort of yeah, he's fine. Yeah, he's all right with that Um, so he does his evil laugh. He does an evil sort of a ha ha ha ha and then max cuts off his head Did you by the way speaking of muhaha ha ha? Yes Oh, well, I guess we'll talk about when we get to the ending number put it yeah, he does cut off his head and before he does He's like um, I think max says something to rutie, uh, where he's like you're safe now blah blah blah and abraham's like you finally understand me Right because abraham's whole thing the whole time has been him saying i'm gonna keep everybody safe from the demons and the wampiers right, um But I don't think it and I don't know there is like a sort of indication that like uh the cycle of violence is being you know Like the the cycle of abuse is gonna continue on I guess I guess but it's like I don't think this is the same at all Really not it doesn't I think by cutting your dad's head off you are sort of saying the sense with us.
Yes Um, but the the the the van Helsing boys they ride out of town. Yeah, um, I gotta say Um because now ever since seeing the fable mens right, um, I always pay attention to uh, the horizon We're gonna get a shot. Oh, where's the horizon on this thing? Uh, it's in the middle.
Oh, which is let me see here check my boring as shit Yeah, I mean all the land it's crazy like these landscapes are beautiful and somehow they're so boringly depicted where where is the horizon? Uh, it's at the top Good Yeah, so when it's at the top it's interesting when it's at the bottom It's interesting when it's in the middle. It's boring shit and this movie is like why it's by that principle Yeah, the way you hope why change anything now. Um, so um, yes the boys ride off on horses And as they're doing this we get voiceover It's like a monologue from abraham and he's describing his relationship with his father.
Yeah, he's like he was very withholding He was indifferent and his father was a he's like he was very poor But he thought of himself, you know, he had delusions of aristocracy he's going on this whole thing and I could only think of dr Evil Being like my mother was a one of the I forgot Yeah, I've built in prostitute with web feed named Chloe It just felt like the most boring version of that because he's also doing that like a little bit of an accent Yeah, when I was in so then they put me in a burlap second be me pretty standard stuff It feels like that. It does. Um, yeah That's basically it. That's that's that's a lie.
He would womanize He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. I think we talked about the origin of that right? We probably did but remind me that it was basically something he heard someone say at like a lorn michaels dinner party that he invented the question mark Not what lorn didn't say but someone was like there was a guy who was doing that kind of shit And I think that was something he threw back at him at like you're to be like your full of shit What else do you invent the you know the question mark? That's our thing.
Yeah, like one of those things where you're just like riffing like remember that guy that fucking dinner party where he's just like Oh, yeah, I invented the question mark So yes, uh the boys Abraham's boys They uh, they they go off into the sunset Riders in the rain Let's I have an idea. Do we have to do any segments for this one? I forget. Yeah, we got to do all of them Okay, hill tropes Hill Hill oh wait.
What was it? It was like there was like a Salisbury hill thing, right? Oh, maybe I truly don't remember tropes tropes berry hill. Was it just tropes berry hill?
Yeah, it could be tropes berry hill. Welcome to tropes berry hill. Welcome to well. Thanks for climbing up on tropes berry hill with us.
Yes Uh Any any hill tropes jumping out at you I mean boys just boys boys Complicated or you know like toxic father figures that make you go. Hmm. What's going on there? What's that all about?
Dad you're giving me an idea for a story. Yes. Um, yeah, so we'll call that tropes berries tropes tropes tropes Troops berry. Okay.
We'll work on it All right. I'm gonna do. Oh that hurts my parts Who that hurts my parts? Go ahead.
What hurt your parts. I mean everything this whole movie sucks. Oh, so Heart parts. Yes.
Yes. It sucks. I You know Said it in the beginning but you you gave john dies at the end half a star because you hated it so much I gave this half a star because this is This is so offensive to me. Yeah, I'm I'm with you I think it's really bad the most boring shit and like the worst thing that anything could be is boring and it oh my god It's like it's truly like a slinkleizer.
Yeah, what are we doing? I know I know oh man Um I can't yeah, I'm even gonna try to pick apart because it really is the sum is less than it's part somehow even Yes, all the parts suck all the suck. That's how that hurts my parts shining shiny moments Uh sure It's that severed head prop looks great. Yeah the severed head prop.
That's good. Yeah When that woman crawls out of the darkness for that those two seconds good couple seconds, huh It's good couple of seconds. It's really a drop of water in the desert here Crazy man. Yeah, it's crazy Um, all right.
That's shiny moments Do we do where with slimmer? I guess that answers that question. This is where was slimmer where we lit a gate where we lit a gate where though The the wretched onion hit slimmer appeared in the picture. We watched for the program this week Why why do we always drop into a southern lawyer?
I don't know do the slime. Oh, really no. You're on oh, you're on What's on permission permission to speak in my normal voice? We're a slimmer in this thing.
Um, I wish slimmer was in this damn thing. I know this thing could use a slimmer Huh good. I can use some juice. There's plasma from blood there's blood plasma But that's it.
That's it. I guess blood pudding is a sort of slime. It's you ever have blood pudding. I'm good on that Yeah, pretty set.
I get why they did it gotta you stretch your resources, of course, of course But I don't I miss oh, sorry god. No, this was where we're slimmer. Yeah What were you gonna say about blood pudding? I just think it's funny to be like we have all this blood No, we can't just dump it out.
I mean should we just drink it like oh, that's gross. Can we make a pudding out of it or something? Yeah, I guess pudding I don't know you want to make like a like a pudding Away from me if I was with the first person that invented blood pudding. They were like I took the blood I took the blood and I took down the money and I made all the blood and I put it in my bowl and I mixed the bowl up And I just and I let it sit there and it's ready.
All right Lester get the fuck away. There's another version of this where he doesn't tell you what it is before you eat it and you go Oh, what is it? It's like blood It's fucking tastes like this is a big bowl of blood. Yeah Now if this was like a more fun vampire movie and they were like eating blood pudding, I'd be like oh, that's kind of fun Like that's like a sweet treat for them Right, that's fun.
It should be a fictional food. Yeah vampires eat It's like when we watch only lovers left alive and she froze the blood tops. Yeah. Yeah, like I keep it fresh Yeah, you're being cheeky with that but it's fun.
You're having a good time. You're a bit of a cheeky nando Look at this. Um, I suppose all of this brings us to our penultimate segment Which is IMDB Slash the letterbox segment. Yeah, we could still call it IMDB, but we're doing this on letterbox now Well, I do want to point out that 956 souls log on to IMDB calm and give their opinion of the film awarding an eight weighted average user score of 4.1 out of 10 stars which on the five star letter box scale works out to 2.05 out of five stars as we've discussed That's too high by one and a half stars.
Yeah, that's it is too high, but also I'm glad that people are like I mean it does. It does. I mean for the knuckle dragging mouth breathing swabs on IMDB calm to To only give it for I mean to give it for that saying something he's like 61 people gave it 10 stars. I know these people they'll They're like these fucking people Someone like in a coma You all look like ants to me.
Yeah. Yeah, um, so half a star and a like just kidding. Yeah No, it's a half star. This movie fucking blows I can't yeah, there's nothing redeeming about it at all What can what can we say about it?
Okay, what can we say about it? Um, um, I swear to the Lord if I find Vin health thing, I will slay him Is that from uh forgetting Sarah Marshall. Yeah, yeah the pop of music. Oh, the Dracula music.
That's funny. It is funny. It stays funny. It stays funny Russell Brand's funny and that isn't no, he's not.
That's the thing. He's not even funny in that when he's doing the shtick version of his true self Yeah, um, okay Abraham's boys. Um Uh Get these boys out of my sight. Yeah, take these boys to lay Somebody called Difus somebody say with these boys Um, it sucks.
Yeah, I my review of this was just honk shoe. It's a big ol honk shoe I give it five out of five honk shoes. Yeah, I give it five out of five honk shoes If you if you're having trouble sleeping I I have the uh the film equivalent of a fucking Z quill for you. I do not operate heavy machinery while watching the film Yes, yes.
Yes, so that's it. That's that's that's Was Abraham's boys. Yeah Um now listen, so I think I think we should do um Uh was it last stop in um mccownie on friday great. We'll do a jostle in donny he double phic Like every great film podcast.
We finally arrived at our jostle in donny he would double phicier. Yes Um But uh, let's see next week. So You know, uh, Abraham we had Abraham's boys today last week We were dealing with a lot of uh boys as well with the grabber. He's sharing all these boys Yeah, getting all them boys.
Can we get some men in here? Some big strong men some running men. Yes, it's back to the cinema for another new release if uh much like uh Uh, god, what's his name? I'm already forgetting who played father leon in this Uh, of course larry cedar.
Yeah larry cedar. I was gonna say john corn Larry cedar much in the way that when he plays uh chubby chases father He has a single piece of ivory for hair. Yes star of running man as a single piece of ivory for all of his teeth for all of his teeth Scary a smile in hollywood. I I'm I don't know He's fine.
I have no nothing like like I saw him in a couple link later movies I listened to edgar right talk about like making this on a podcast and he was like glen pal He's just like a professional. He comes ready to fuck him. Oh man. I have no I've no I know you know I know you're not saying that but he does i'm just frightened by his his uncanny smile.
He you know, he feels like a At least for the time being i'm gonna say this and in another like six months This is probably going to change but he seems like a less annoying version of matthew mcconnah To me where like you're saying mcconnah is like he's got this like, you know the laidback texas thing But everything he's always like he's always all in about fucking something sure, you know, he's just always Toxic day the same age. Well his toxic positivity. I'm sure you know all of that shit. Um That's fair.
Yeah, I think I think I bought when any celebrity tries to be like i'm normal Sure. Well, yeah, you should not be your jobs weird your job is weird Um, but I know beef with him aside from his scary teeth and the fact that his eyes are too close together. They are they're too close together It's uh, it's not good. Not good.
Yeah, he survives up running man if you can't see if you have no personal vision. Yeah The eyes of a predator. Mm-hmm. Not the predator but a predator a predator.
Um Yeah, that's why they watch the running man. Yeah, i'm looking forward to the running man. That's good Edgar writes first feature since baby driver. No, he did last night in so-ho.
Um, come on. We're counting that Do you knock out that we're counting that Did you see last night? Oh, no, I didn't did anyone. I saw it.
Do you like it? Um, it's fine. I think it's like Um Yeah, it's not like great or anything. I think it looks really good though You know, if you if you want to show up for the vibes, I think it's got some vibes, but hey sometimes vibes are all it takes baby driver Great opening to the movie a movie though that I have not revisited.
Yeah, well, it's not like a good movie It's just sort of like a series of cool music videos, right? That's basically it. Yeah, I mean all like the action stunt work. It's all it looks great, but not a not a movie kind of not a movie Yeah, but fun good clean fun good clean fun I think I maybe saw it a couple times when it came out because it's like that was really fun.
I would do that again. Yeah Yeah, um, we'll talk about it great a lot more next to you on our running man episode next Tuesday Uh, if you want to hear us talk about what's that what's your movie called three ten? You know the last stop in Yuma County the last stop in Yuma County You do that over at patreon.com slash king me pod that link is in the show notes of course You'd of course sign up for free to try it out here that episode and then it's a five dollars a month if you want to stay on Yeah And is that all we have to say about the patreon at this moment that yeah next week we have an announcement Okay regarding the patreon. Yeah, so next week.
We'll talk all about that. We'll talk about when men run And what they run from yes, another of these boys give me some big strong men. See Holy, holy develop quads. Okay Fully developed quads.
Yeah, um, all right. That's it. Um, next time Steve and king son