Absolute Power or: How I Learned to Be a Jewel Thief

Ross is underwhelmed, lil onions. For our last July coverage, Ross wanted to revisit an old favorite, Clint Eastwood's Absolute Power (1997). Today follows the story of Luther Whitney, a master jewel thief who accidentally witnesses a terrible crime committed by the most powerful man in the world (allegedly). Carie actually finds the movie more entertaining than she remembers, but only when characters aren't speaking. Ross is dismayed again to realize one of his childhood mainstays isn't the boner jam he remembers. And the siblings remark on the batshit bananas plot, and how the ending is unbelievably messy. SUPPORT US ON PATREON!