Abstract Essay in its sixth season, features Ingeborg Mooiweer is an executive coach with 35 years of experience as my guest.

Ingeborg Mooiweer Successful in business. But Love hurts?Ingeborg Mooiweer is an executive coach with 35 years of experience helping high-achieving executives break the patterns that make them brilliant at work and struggling at home. She helps executives who have built everything they wanted, except a love life that works.I grew up with a narcissistic mother. I didn't have language for it then, I just knew that love felt conditional, that being enough meant being safe, and that I learned to read rooms before I learned to trust people.That pattern followed me into my career. And into my marriage.I became exceptional at work. I built a practice, helped organisations, and earned the trust of C-suite executives across the world. Professionally, everything looked right.But in the span of two and a half years, I lost seven people who mattered most to me. Grief upon grief, with no room to breathe. Those losses cracked something open  and confirmed what I had been seeing for 35 years in my work: the patterns we develop in childhood to survive become the patterns that silently erode our closest relationships as adults.I call them survival codes. For most high-achieving executives, one of three codes is running the show right now  and they have no idea.