ACS: Bill Simmons

Alanna Ubach is filling in for Teresa and the news. She and Adam discuss her previous work in Meet the Fockers, and also about being naked on camera for the HBO series Hung. They talk about working with Hung star Thomas Jane, then go into personal details about Alanna's 'sexual motor' and relationship status. In the news, a man carrying two knives recently tried to break into Paris Hilton's home. Adam can't decide if it's fun or not to be her, and Alanna talks about Paris' new pair of fake boobs. Both Adam and Alanna fantasize about banging Natalie Portman, and Adam warns male listeners not to get defensive about the size of their dicks. Alanna also mentions the time that Adam may have hit on her sister, and Adam tries to recall whether or not this actually happened. Also in the news, George Michael has admitted to smoking marijuana after crashing his car back in July. Alanna tells Adam that George Michael now makes money writing trance party music for the gay clubs. She and Adam then improvise a scene of him trying to pick someone up at a gay bar. Alanna also does a killer Scarface impression. Bill Simmons enters the studio, pointing out Adam's lazy plaid outfit. Adam talks about his wife taking his son into the doctor because of ear infection, and Bill offers the latest advice he's heard about medication for kids. Adam then starts talking to him about writing a blurb for his book, and Bill explains the publishing system and what it takes to make the Bestseller List. Bill speaks from experience: his 700-page Book of Basketball caused some controversy with publishers because of the length, but ultimately became a huge hit. He and Adam start talking more about entertainment related issues, discussing the merits of Louis CK's new show, and what it's like to work on a sitcom with unfunny executives in charge. Bill also reminds Adam of his theory that 'the wrong sequel is always on TV,' and they talk about classic Chuck Norris projects like 'Missing in Action' and 'Walker Texas Ranger'. Adam challenges anyone to leave their computer at home and put themselves at the mercy of what's regularly on television. They also talk about seeing The Expendables together, and the dangers of texting while driving. Adam takes a listener call, who suggests to Adam and Bill to auction off a seat watching football with Jimmy and the gang. They transition into some sports talk, discussing Brett Favre's career choices and the size of his property. Wrapping up the show, Adam pitches his latest film idea to Bill, and Bill convinces Adam to pitch a movie he's been alluding to for a long time. Listen to Bill Simmons through The B.S. Report on ESPN. Pick up 'The Book of Basketball,' or follow him on Twitter @sportsguy33 You can find out more about Alanna Ubach at: www.alannaubach.net