Act Like You Already Have It: Unwritten Rules of Promotion | Maya Sharfi

The unwritten rules of promotion aren't secret, they're patterns leadership already rewards. Career and executive coach Maya Sharfi says the fastest way to learn them is to stop asking for the steps and start acting like you already have the role. "You don't want to show up in the promotion conversation like Oliver Twist: please, sir, can you please pour into my bowl the steps to get promoted," Sharfi says. "Instead, you want to show up almost as if you already have the role." Sharfi points to a study showing that before around age five, boys and girls are equally drawn to games framed as being for "kids who are smart" and games framed as being for "kids who work hard." After five, girls start gravitating toward the "hard work" games. It's a measurable, early start to a pattern many women spend decades trying to unlearn. In this conversation, Maya and Pippa dig into why so many capable women apologise before they've even made their point, and why "just be more direct" backfires when the advice doesn't account for how women get read differently for the same behaviour. Maya breaks down her "four zones of career alignment" framework for working out what you actually want before you chase the next title, her method for having proactive but collaborative conversations that surface the real, unwritten reasons someone isn't getting promoted, and why reconnecting with someone you haven't spoken to in ten years costs you nothing and isn't the social crime it feels like. They also talk about introversion, psychological safety at work, and the particular flavour of imposter syndrome that shows up once your clients are already getting results. Maya Sharfi is a career and executive coach and the founder of Build Yourself, where she helps ambitious women step into senior leadership roles without burning out. Her background spans landscape architecture, Harvard Business School, and the Harvard Graduate School of Design, and she now works with women navigating promotions, career pivots, and the gap between how they lead and how they're told to lead.Find her at buildyourselfworkshop.com.Connect with Maya Sharfi:🌐 buildyourselfworkshop.com💼 linkedin.com/in/mayasharfiWelcome to the Journey to Purpose Podcast — your guide to personal transformation, spiritual awakening, and finding meaning. Hosted by Philippa Bagley, each episode features in-depth interviews with inspiring thought leaders, therapists, coaches, and everyday people who have overcome addiction, trauma, financial hardship, and burnout to build purposeful lives. Whether you're seeking direction in your career, healing from past struggles, building resilience, or exploring spirituality, this personal development podcast delivers practical insights and transformational wisdom. Topics include: personal growth, healing and therapy, entrepreneurship, financial independence, mindfulness, spirituality, overcoming adversity, life coaching, and authentic living. Join our growing community of listeners discovering their life's purpose. New episodes every week. If you like what you hear, don't forget to follow, review and subscribe