actings

16.09.2018 hey salve!! it is 23:23 oh clock at a third sunday and i jumped out of my breath into the bermudafunk studio 1 ! the first time after 4 years i came too late- (1h by car from my home) in such case, the lovely data processor starts automatically the latest show of mine-in this first 23minutes you could listen when my guest dominic was there-we a have a pub together-love, the universe brought us there together just in time, when i was in need to find a business partner. and this is for me, i think for him too- a very huge challenge! cause, we are so different from our creatures, where 2 worlds crashes into one- in this show, honestly i dont felt well with him, cause in these times, ive recognized, that i was on my changing, "enlightening" way- and he was still grim and very nerved, also by me. also i´ve listened today out, my own "wrong"attitudes,my unnatural and unpleasant behavior and conversation against him, buh uhuh! i found out, that we are showing us each other with our opinions,behaviors, patterns,beings, attitudes many things, which each of us haven`t got integrated, or were not awared yet in ourselves. it was just like that i couldn`t believe and understand there the many different ways and signs of love- yeah, the moment came, where i´ve woke up and found finally the button of my selfloving in me again! so. i was walking in my peace and learning directions being- but had always to balance his negative vibes he sent out around him- also i was still injured by his talks he had behind me to others, i found out- but my "blind heart" couldnt believe what happened and i was not brave enough yet to tell him this. and he thought about me things, which were misinterpreted- well, cause i´m mirroring him also the things he dont wants to look at. we weren´t able to find a way of healthy communication. we were not longer at the same eye height- neither as business partners, or friendship, nor man and woman level. 1.5 years it took time, that i´ve had mistreated myself- i´ve disclaimed my self and for what i stand for. every word he said, or i- was "wrong"- we´d "discussed" about superstupid things u would never discuss- it was very suffocating sometimes and ended up, that we don´t wanted to see us each other- but had to work together! aaahh also the pub and his guests suffered through this disrespectful, sick way- for so long- :/ i wonder, how long it needs time sometimes, until i can heal or act.( but well come on hey,stay cool, taylan!) so, but why the hell i should need such someone in my life anymore? in these months i´ve made a lot of healjourneys to myself- i´ve reflected everything and healed my wounds of my childhood in the roots-which have brought me into this situation and being. yes, the journeys and insights, were very hard but heartily. i became aware why we act like we do and what the deeper reason is behind why we discuss about bullshits. the day was born.shortly before christmastime 2018,the playoffs of my truth to myself and to dominic.first then i could stood bravely against at my fear, to loose a friend, a partner, someone who i could have once trust in and love somehow.it was a sudden by accident call of him.he knows me well and could listen in my voice thats something wrong..we must be soulfriends. so,then it came the point of my portal day-i felt ready since few days.. but waited for a suitable moment but he also wanted to talk.i´ve told him everything what is going on inside of me- my feelings, his treatments, that we are not the same as we once were, his behaviors, all everything what stands ironly between us and also the existing and reason of the pub data 77112. waouw! one urgent time in my life, where i was or had to be, so much honest and directly- what a chance to grow. while having this conversation i´ve thought my heart will could explode now any time mon diéu!! but my inner lovely soul was at the same time so silent.,,,aeh FULLTEXT NEXT EPISODE SWIPE IT huch !!:)