Active Listening

Most coaches promise the world. They will help you lose that stubborn weight. Bring your ex back. Help you manifest this or that. I’m sure some of them can really help in those departments. But that approach misses a lot. It causes us to look externally for the answers. We need a guru for this and a practitioner for that. It’s not empowering.I am not a mechanic, so I know to take my car to a specialist. But that’s different. Your car, though complex, is a machine. It has specific problems that can happen and thus, specific fixes. But we are complex. We don’t come to coaching to get fixed, but to reconnect to our thinking and problem solving skills. No one knows who I am and what I’m here for more than me. I am the Me expert.We can seek answers from a variety of helping professions. I’ve had some great sessions with energy healers, intuitives, shamans, and psychics. I love and honor that work. However, no psychic or shaman has the goods on you. You do. All too often we want to seek internal answers outside of ourselves. This may be needed sometimes, but we can develop a habit, a pattern of not trusting ourselves, not seeking within. Sometimes we just don’t know how. So my job isn’t to teach you a technique to manifest your dreams. Nor am I here to answer your prayers or give you a reading. Instead I offer non-prescriptive coaching.Non-prescriptive coaching is the idea and practice of using active listening and coaching questions to create an atmosphere where you can relax, vent, organize and reconnect with yourself and your innate insights. I, the coach, am here to ask those questions-to use active listening to support you in your reconnection. And I’m good at it.You can have lofty goals too. But I’m not going to make big promises because I believe it puts pressure on all parties. If we come in with low stakes, we can just make our talk about you feeling heard and witnessed and me practicing the fundamental coaching skills that keep me helping you.Active listening, coaching questions, asking before I share, not taking over, not pushing my opinions, not taking over your life, not diagnosing, not getting stuck in pre-suppositions. Not making it about me. I’m not coming in as an expert, but as an assistant.That reframe can be hard to manage. As a practitioner, it’s hard to sell too. Believe me 8) But it’s honest. It’s real. The people I coach love how they feel afterwards. So I offer this type of work with low stakes, low expecations and reframe it more like a massage or a spa day, a venting session etc, because that feels more like a self-care choice. I go get a massage every chance I get. I walk out feeling better. The therapist hasn’t solved all my aches and pains forever. But the indulgence is life-affirming. It’s self-care. Sometimes amazing things happen. Other times, it’s just a massage. Just me taking care of myself. No pressure.Coaching can be just a spa day for your brain. You probably take care of everyone else. This is an opportunity to turn that around and let someone take care of you. The way I do that is with non-prescriptive coaching. I ask what you’d like to talk and think about today. And we go from there. When a belief pops up, I might ask if you’d like to discuss it. If not, we keep moving. You’re in charge. It’s very relaxing, often exciting and usually fun. I love watching my customers’ eyes light up when the insights start to pop. Sometimes some venting without advice is what’s needed. Feeling heard and seen. I’ve got that too. No agenda on my part. You can bring agendas, though. They may serve your purposes. I will use active listening and coaching questions to use the time as you see fit.It’s also not therapy. Coaches don’t diagnose or offer treatment plans. We just discuss whatever comes up. Some customers also go to therapy. The two can work synergistically. If you think this might help you, feel free to message me.What do you want to think about today?Thanks for reading GreenMang Substack! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Thanks for reading GreenMang Substack! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenmang.substack.com/subscribe