Hello, everybody, this is Ethan Kleinhose, the H3 show. It is Wednesday, October 16th. And obviously, the title of, okay, so here's what's happening today. I'm gonna wait to set it up.
The title is correct. Oh, and also we have a sponsor, thank you to Stamps.com, who I love. Who is on first? Stamps.com is on first.
Is it the front fell off? Woo! Hey, Zach, do me a favor. When you play who's on first, also play right next to it, exploding milk porn.
And you tell me that's a different person. The who's on first or the front fell off? Oh, the front fell off. The front fell off?
And that played exploding milk porn. It's exploding milk porn. I cannot hear it. I hear it.
I know why. Fascinating. I don't know what it means, but. So obviously, I'm about to have a really uncomfortable conversation about Hasan.
I'm going to set it all up. What we're planning to do here today is that we have also a very nice mooding segment with a field trip to the San Diego Zoo. To visit their big meat, hit by a swag. A Kobe.
A Kobe. Let's go understand. A Kobe. Of course I know his name.
A Kobe. Yeah. Kobe. Exactly.
See, it's great. And we say, well, listen, Thailand is awesome and great. They have nice beaches, whatever. But they're not the only ones with big meat hippos.
We have one right here in SoCal that's just as cute. So we have a whole field trip presentation. So I don't want to sour the fun there. What I want to do is enjoy that.
And then we'll thank our sponsor. And then I'm going to get right into this song thing. I'm going to be factual. I'm going to be straightforward.
I'm going to be, it's not personal. I'm going to be, in my opinion, fair as I can be. I'm just going to say what I got to say. And then I'm going to move past it.
Hopefully won't be that long. But that's what it is. So with all that being said, my friends, let's start today off with a delightful trip to the San Diego Zoo. There is a 50 pound king penguin chick.
I love that. It's mooding. That's fucked up. It's game.
We're actually talking about Pester right now. I didn't call for mooding. I'm kind of calling for mooding time. I mean, just mooding time.
Moving the green screen away. Is Dan Mad? I can't tell. Dan is over mooding.
Is that what's happening? Are you officially at the way? Are you really? I'm talking about Pester right now.
Here's the green screen. Take it away. Okay, take it away. Take it away.
This is it. Is your mooding time? I just thought it was really disrespectful. How are you in the middle of talking about Pester?
We're trying to make it all about mooding. I'm so sorry, Dan. I really do apologize. Apparently when it comes to the reports, that's what you said.
No. I've had it with this fucking mooding. This is mooding that. Just in respect traffic.
It's a little hippo stepping on my shit. I've had it with mooding. I've had it. I have an idea.
Your day is outnumbered. Yes. I got you. I got you.
You little shit. So I got the text from Dan. Me here. He said urgent.
He used the siren emoji. He said boodang is in town. I got the merch. You're looking good.
I appreciate it. I appreciate it. What's your favorite thing about mooding? I like her glow.
She just so cute and looks so puddly. It's so wet. In a way that's like feeling glue off of your hand like that. It's that look.
Where's Dan? I woke up and he was already gone today. Oh really? You didn't even come together?
No. Thank you so much for coming. Where's your mooding shirt? I had to break this to you guys.
But I kind of brought you under a little bit of minor false frequencies. Who dang is in here? Let me just let me just let you. Are you serious?
Dang is not here. I am officially over mooding shit. No, no, no. But where are you?
You will be by the end of the day. There's another pygmy hippo here who is far more deserving of the adulation. Pygmy hippo. Who dang is the ultimate pygmy?
Let me introduce you to a Kobe. It's your new best friend. Who dang has that special baby glow? It's literally, it's neon pink.
It's so cute. What is this? Did you make this? Create a hippo playlist on repeat with a Kobe videos only.
Don't mute the videos. Let it play while you sleep. Tweet videos of a Kobe. Use multiple accounts if you can.
Post your Kobe fancamps to TikTok and Instagram. Use hashtags. Is that what you have to take this with his clips? Yeah.
If you don't think that the entire mooding thing was asked for turf, I've not even got a bridge to tell you. Yes, of course. It's a huge mystery plan. You all are going to be passing this out today.
We don't even know this is the first thing. I'm not doing this shit. I didn't come here to work. Listen, listen, listen, listen.
I understand and I hear your concerns. I appreciate it. You're going to hear this. You're going to want to hear this.
You're going to want to hear this. I am the boss. And if you don't all do this, you're fired. Thank you.
Thank you so much. You guys are great. You guys are the best. The best team in business.
I love you. Alright, let's go. What the fuck is wrong with him? I don't know.
I've never seen him like this. Oh my God. I can get faces. Oh my God.
We don't have time for this. We don't have any time. Listen, you can do it. You can't call it moodang though.
Just call it a Kobe face thing. I think they'll know what I mean when I say I want to look at moodang though. They have no idea who moodang is. We're in Thailand.
Moodang is global. Get it over. Just don't call it moodang. God.
I want a happy hippo and then meet a little designer. I just definitely want to look at you. So Dan, my sunscreen was $18.00 so I just got to request you. Don't do it.
You get mowedang to paper. I'm not going to get fucking mowedang to paper it. That's a huge currency. It's not.
It's not. That's moodang. I don't know what it is about today. Everybody's been getting hippos.
It's because of moodang. Oh, that's right. Of course you've heard of her. You don't need to worry about moodang.
You have a pick me hippo here named a Kobe. That's even cuter than moodang. That's actually my main goal here today. It's just read the word.
I look just like mood dang. I'm so good. You look like a Kobe You look like a Kobe. It's the same thing.
Jesus Christ dude. What the hell? I got messed up He said he didn't hear me. I said I want the same thing.
You look great. Why does no one am I speaking a different language? No one understands me. They're kind of giving Jojo's seat off.
Thank you. I like Dan, there's monkeys. Yeah, there's monkeys. Oh my god, dude, what do you want in here?
You see him? Uh, no. Right there. Right there.
Right there. Keep saying there. I don't know what they are there. Wow, so cool.
Right over there. That was some shit. Time to waste him. We're losing sunlight.
Let's get to the hippos. I really am enjoying. Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go. Fuck the bandits, okay? Hey, Dan. I just got out of spineless marbles and they add your picture on the wall.
Oh, that's even worse. You know who isn't gross and doesn't his. He's probably never his in his entire life. Yeah.
Oh, Kobe. Yeah, we will. Heard that one before. Where is it, Kobe?
We've been here for like two hours and I cannot figure out this map. It's a cartoony. It's meant to be fun. Maps are utilitarian.
They have a reason to exist and it's to be able to work. I'm not going to calm down until we find a Kobe. Do it single. Come on.
They gave me a hot dog that doesn't fit. I'm a boy. Was everybody here just asking me today? What is this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine.
We got things to do. Come on. Let's go. Let's go.
It's just a tortoise. It's literally just a tortoise. Do you think he's a one that's stored? The alligators killed him?
I mean, presumably. I can't be here for that. Why is he just knocked out? I like friends.
He's taking me. The game of chicken. Oh, you see this? Fossil right here?
This is a Jurassic croc. Yeah. How do you know that? It represents a ancient crocodilian dancing.
It hasn't really changed. This has basically been the same for 190 million years. 190 million years, huh? You can see that side off the top of your head.
Yeah, it's crazy stuff. That was messed up back in the day. They actually used to feed the Jaguars dogs. So that's what they did.
They'll say that to me. Oh, wait. Huddles? Do you think that's a Kobe's grandfather?
No, I think we got his. No, we're dang is in Thailand. All right. Anybody see any signs of a Kobe?
I mean, I don't really been looking. Those gators were really cool. Okay. Well, here he is.
Nobody has any in a Kobe's. Wait, who? A Kobe, the hippo. The baby hippo.
Do you know the moodang? I don't recall. We're running out of daylight. It's already almost four o'clock.
I think we need to get some elevation. All right, come on. Everybody follow me. Come on.
Come on. Come on. That's so cool. Wait.
That's where the plushies were that you were talking about. We're looking for a Kobe. So please, if you can just concentrate for a minute. You're the one whose job is to find a Kobe.
I'm politely asking for assistance that you fucking look for a Kobe. My eyes are peeled for the head. Thank you. That's all I'm asking.
You all seen a Kobe? You all seen a Kobe? Hey, have you seen a Kobe? Oh, it's something.
Is it a Kobe? Yeah, you're just looking there? It's a little bit. You just all need the first standing.
It's really starting to go with painting us. The weather report. I think you want to go up the air on a helicopter now. I'm on this shaky-ass guy rail.
More chicks more comfortable, I feel. Oh, this is normal. True. I feel kind of stable in here.
Yeah, I'd like to balance this out. Let's do it. Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming.
I'm coming. You're coming. I'm coming. I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm busy.
I'm looking for a Kobe. Yeah. Come here. Stay in time.
Maybe. No, no, no, it's a Kobe time. But yes, it's exciting. We're on the right side.
It's not a day time. It is a Kobe time. I would take a picture of that and put it on the subreddit and say, this looks just like Dan. You are the GOAT.
I love seeing you to be 4 minutes long. Just to be that thing. I just told me that I reminded her of the animal before and it was the nicest thing I've ever heard about. The pig?
No, the beautiful gazelle. Did you just call me? I didn't mean to. Two strikes.
Guess what? You're almost out. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Call me Tom over time.
Jesus Christ. I see liquid. I see liquid. We're buzzing in on Kobe.
Kobe's here. Oh, Kobe. They have a mood day. No, no, no, no.
Wow. Listen, this is a great sign. They built that quick. Budang is like just a baby.
They built this whole thing. This is a statue of an adult hippopotamus. It's moodang. It's moodang.
It's moodang. It's moodang. Wow. It's not even a Kobe.
It's literally just. I'm moodang. I'm a baby. Moodang and a Kobe.
Neither of those are moodang. I'm moodang. A Kobe. I guess this is a Kobe.
It must be. No, that's an adult hippo. You just say adult hippos are hungry. They're much more than the babies.
That's a Kobe. I've been trying to tell you guys about a Kobe. It's really cute. Oh my God.
A Kobe's that's cute and a little. Kobe is that cute and that little. Oh yeah, I'm excited. Yes, thank you.
We're gonna go eat a Kobe right now. We're gonna go eat a Kobe right now. A Kobe is better than moodang. The thrill of the hunt.
I can sense him. A Kobe. My spirit animal. Twin Flame.
Hippo Hope runs strong here. But I can make it even stronger. Spread the good word. If I can just locate the golden calf.
The promised one to topple the moodang dynasty. He is close. We're in the end game now. Oh, okay.
We're here. Walk in everyone. Walk the fuck in. So, a Kobe better than moodang.
We understand. We understand. We understand. We understand.
We understand. We understand. We understand. We understand.
We understand. We understand. We understand. We understand.
We understand. We understand. We understand. We understand.
We understand. We understand. The baby's name is Amash League. The baby's name is Amash League.
It's not even a Kobe. The baby's name is Amash League. And maybe ChODY is K coat. The baby is K coat.
We have a no coffee. Oh, I'll win. They are horrible. I know she isn't here, yeah.
You're saying. A little wrong okay. So everybody phones out get your phone out YouTube over there Olivia over there I don't know why he's making me get this angle. It's literally just s just full on s.
There you go Dan said though, not even the staff knows a Kobe exists. He's like a ghost in the machine That's that's you this is you the fan can is of a code. I like my fan game What it's sort of like a cinematic thing Oh, you know what point five and then you do upside down. That's cool.
None of these shots That looks sick. There's no people in the shot. Now I'm emerging from the water Should I drop that to you or you know listen? Okay, so google drive I really don't care.
Can I go home dude? Yeah, let's just leave him here Drive so he also has been an ass all day. Should we just say we like the hippo and then we can go home? Yeah, I don't want to go home to that.
So like let's just be nice about it. I think he's crying I actually really like the hippo. I think it's really really big and I think that's pretty big I like it too. It looks like it could kill us and that's really neat and cool.
It has that cool that Wu Dang has Wu Dang couldn't take a life. Well, yeah, that's what I've been trying to say. Okay. I didn't see it before it's fat with the ph Wu Dang is way less cool than this one Yeah, that's all I wanted.
That's all I wanted for us. Just same Wu Dang sucks Like just say that. Fuck Wu Dang. Fuck his mother.
His grandmother. Let's just go home. Frick Wu Dang Wu Dang has been overshadowing these other hippos. We've had enough Wu Dang.
There's other hippos Not every hippo can be a star. Sorry. So can we go home? Yeah, let's go home.
Oh, let's go home Wait, this is the these are the pygmy hippos hold on hold on Huge mistake guy. These are the pygmy hippos right there. I'll go be Yes, you see I was trying to tell you guys. Look what you got.
She's swimming along That's a Colby. You guys are going to get your phone down. Do you think that we can get her watch her way? She's not a fatty.
Who? Who? Who? Who?
Who? Who? I'm sorry. I'm recording this right now.
It's a Colby star. Cool. Thank you, Colby. The few comments.
Well, let me start by saying a wonderful job. Ian, Dan, Lena, AB, O live everybody. Was that you weren't maybe I can get a one too? I wasn't there.
He opened up the audio on one short second. Thank you, love. We see you. Oh, name is not there.
Oh, yeah. It's all right. Oh, my God. Thank you everybody.
Oh, yes. We've done so many field trends. I have to say first of all, what the fuck is going on at the San Diego Zoo? They're sitting on a gold mine and they don't know they are hiding from the people.
Where is what are they thinking? I don't know. It was in this little tucked away area. It's fucking legitimately.
It was hard to find the big hippos. Oh, yeah, you asked that guy and she's like, oh, idiot. She's like, no, Colby here. It's just not true.
And it's just not true. And it could be with a star. You're right, Dan. They relate.
I'm always right. They are really dropping the ball. And Dan, I'm actually supporting you. I think, you know, I think nationalism is we need to promote a pygmal hippie hippodominance, gold dominance, nationalistic movement.
That's not what the mayor deal was about at all. No, it's about America. Great. All right.
I went bad. Oh, no, no. Our pygmy hippo gang is bad. Our pygmy hippo gang is bad.
Hold on. Hold on. And cuter. Hold the fuck on.
Okay. You are extracting the wrong lesson from this completely. Okay. You do not understand.
It's not about Thailand. It's about moudang in the industry. They're a little cottage industry that propped up around moudang. You see?
Where does moudang live? Where does who Yang live? What's your name? A Kobe?
A Kobe? I said a Kobe. Who wears a Kobe? You did not say Kobe.
You called a Kobe something. Okay. Let's listen to the word talking about a Kobe. Where's a Kobe live in the San Diego mother fucking zoo.
God bless America. Right. Okay. Yeah.
She's smaller. She's slimier. She's cuter. She has a better house.
She has a better house. She does have a better house. Yeah. It was a better environment.
So they got to do better for moudang. You know what they're recommending? She doesn't have like a pool. There was a hole all the time.
They got to have a pool. She has to have a pool. It's bad. It's really sad.
What the hell? She deserves better, dude. Okay. Well, maybe I'm being too harsh on moudang and I should be harsher on the zookeepers.
I love that take. And I agree with you. I think she killed moudang and all of the hippos outside of America. Okay.
No. That's not China. It has like a monopoly on pandas. I want that for us.
Long live pick me hippos for real for real. Why both aren't from San Diego? Just not. Well, America in general, you can put them in Texas.
They're native there. They're native areas. I didn't realize that. I didn't realize that at all.
We can use them as bargaining chips, diplomatic good offers a good will, but they need to come to us. That's Michael. That's my dream for pick me hippos. What a dream it is.
It's just like Martin Luther King for real. Right. Yeah. With that dream.
Thanks for saying that. I've been waiting for someone to point that out. The front fella. And Avi, this is so you.
I don't know if anyone's pointed that out. You can talk about that. I don't go in the chat. I'll make that comparison as well.
You know this kid? Avi? I just saw it on subreddit. I put it together.
I like turtles. I was wondering what the hell everyone was talking about. I say that. That's iconic.
That's iconic. You don't know that video? Back here live with my friend, the zombie. Jonathan, you're looking good.
Jonathan just got an awesome face paint job. What do you think? I like turtles. All right.
You're great. She's so funny. She's like bail. No follow up questions.
Thank you. That's that's so Avi code. That's so Avi. Thank you.
But yeah, we had a we had a great time down at the zoo. And it was a pleasure to see a Kobe. And frankly, you know, we played it off for for the bit. But the big co-posts were really cool too.
Big co-posts are pretty neat. Beautiful creatures. You know, I had to it struck me that I did think that this creature looked like Dan. Right.
I saw it from far away. I was like, is that Dan? Yeah, I don't know man. I see it.
Oh my God. Oh my God. It's uncanny. I believe that's Dan.
All right. All right. So the antelope thing. Well, that was very fun.
Thank you guys. Love that. Love that. Oh, here we go.
Hold on real quick. By the way, that's awesome. Oh, you don't see it? One second.
One second. We got it. We got it. And there it is.
Wow. So by the way, amazing. By the way, I'm committed to this thing. I've noticed even is hitting that headband and honestly, this is great.
This is who I am. Actually, I ordered you a Nike one like one's case used to wear. I need some. Yeah.
You're hitting like the like the one with the prongs. I love that and it gathers hair and it feels so beautiful. Yeah. Honestly, because I want to grow my hair out.
Everybody says, Oh, great hair out. It was a great hair out. So I'm doing it. But like, I'm not going to be like when I was in middle school and just have like this, you know, I'm trying to look, you know, what if you go to see about yourself because she's famously putting her hair back so often and her hair lines like pulled back because of that.
You think so? That's why. And I think I did the same thing. I think he posed here.
No. Yeah. He always has like an obon. More head is made of like clay.
I think it's like, I don't know. Maybe I'm just viewing this info. But I think it's a real thing. Be easy on your forehead, people.
Yeah. You never know where it's going to end up. They even say beans and stuff can make balding, which explains my what can make balding? Beanies.
Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. People always said don't wear a hat.
It makes you bald. But I felt like I was a wife's tail. I read it on the internet. That's true.
Maybe like the friction or something. I mean, let's ask. I was asked the boss. I hear my theory is this.
It's something that like back in the day they would tell people because they thought wearing a ball cap was rude. And so it would just lie to them to try to get them to look presentable. I think it's true. GPT says it's a common myth, but it lacks scientific support.
It's a life where you're determined by genetics, hormones, and other factors like age or medical conditions. That's bullshit. You know, but you can, well, you're not old, but and you don't have medical conditions. I think you're just balding.
Maybe it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy because people with people balding wear hats, that would make such a cycle. So there is something called traction alopecia, which is a type of hair loss that occurs when your hair is repeatedly pulled back. Oh, like Ethan's doing. Yeah.
So yeah, that's the theory. It's not that tight, you guys. It's not pulled back. No, and also the wirehead bin would never allow for that type of tension.
Exactly. Just putting it out there be be warned. Be careful. Don't don't get that shit to try with this.
I'm warning you. What Nate? Your mic is not working. Oh, there you go.
I will say that growing up I rarely wore hats and beanies and have a nice head of hair. Well, you know, yeah, but you're what about your family offer that information? Yeah, thank you, bro. I wear hats all the time on my hair.
So great. I mean, I wore hats. Nate, you have a great head of hair. Thank you.
Does that not run in your family? I don't have anybody balding my family now. Well, that's why. Not the hat.
Like to say that hat's also a reason. The hat. I'll say this hats make your hair last longer because it protects it from the sun. Putting it out there.
My hair gets more white on the summer because the sun is bleaching. It's such a beautiful blonde. Thank you. Thank you.
I really appreciate that. Wow. Wonderful natural blonde. But since I don't go out as much as when I did when I was a kid, it gets dark.
All right. So thank you guys. Thank you. We're putting off the inevitable.
We're we're we're whatever you mean. So first let me thank our sponsors, stamps.com who we love, love, love, love, love. I want to ship stuff. How do I want to do it?