This is a Global Player original podcast. So you can either put really firm boundaries in place, or at least you can just start the conversation and say, hey, listen, for my sake of ADHD, I can do with thinking about this before Christmas Eve. Do you know when we have that conversation? Tell me.
January, when you talk about having that conversation, I mean, this is, my husband and I both come from divorced parents, and therefore, can you imagine, can you imagine a conversation, what has been in the past, four sets of parents, I mean, it can be a bit of a nightmare. But we realise that basically, to avoid arguments and hurt feelings, the earlier we had that conversation, the better. And in the end, it became, we would have Christmas, we'd have like two days rest and reprieve, and then we'd have the conversation about where everyone's going for Christmas next year. So that nobody is in a doubt about where they are.
Because also, we all have families who, let's be honest, are neurodiverse. So the rejection-sensitive dysphoria that's going on amongst those people, if they're not given really calm and kind reasons for not being invited to your house for Christmas, you know, I think it's a brilliant tip, Sam. And I think it is about having a gentle conversation, where you sort of say, hey, look, this is actually for my benefit, I struggle not to know what's going to happen, and sometimes I find it overwhelming, and actually we've got other things to accommodate, so it would help me if we could just sort of plan this gently. And I think there probably does come a point where, if people aren't being clear with you, you do maybe have to put that boundary in place and have that difficult conversation.
It's not, you know, it's not a perfect solution, because you'll always get people who make different decisions, and you can't basically tell people what to do, but what you can be in charge of is when you have that conversation and what you're prepared to do. Yeah, you can. Absolutely. When do you have that conversation?
Usually about September. Right? Yeah, that is, that is really early. And how does it go in your family, generally?
Pretty good, but actually what we tend to do is to say, right, this is what we're thinking of doing on this day, this day, and this day. We'd like to include you, we'd like to include you, what would you like to do, where would you think we're going to be? Because obviously, you know, I've got in-laws, I've got my own family, so it's about making sure you can accommodate everyone. And you, also, for us, it's about making sure there's a bit of family time as well, where it's just the family, just me and my wife and two daughters.
And it is, it's one of those things, if I don't want it to be stressful, it shouldn't be stressful, but it can be. And the more preparation you can do, and that's ultimately what we're talking about, the more planning you can do, the better. Yeah, agreed. So that is today's draw on the ADHD event calendar.
Have the conversation about Christmas early. January is not too soon. We will see you next time to see what's behind the next thing. This has been a Global Player original production.
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