Admiration, Desire & Why It’s Good to Want: Understanding the HDP & LDP in Your Partnership

In this final episode of 2025, Lauren and Trey continue their conversation on admiration and its role in sustaining desire in long-term partnership. They share how writing notes of admiration on their refrigerator whiteboard has become a simple, meaningful daily practice.Lauren reflects on how admiration fuels her desire and why it matters to feel known as a woman of worth to Trey rather than a container for his jizz. From there, they explore the dynamics of sexual desire through David Schnarch’s concepts of the Higher Desire Partner (HDP) and Lower Desire Partner (LDP), including the insight that the LDP ultimately controls the sex that is had.Trey shares that Lauren is the LDP in their partnership and asks what helps her feel supported. Lauren names her need for space and permission not to respond to sexual texts. Lauren then asks Trey how he feels supported as the HDP, and he shares how she celebrates his self-pleasure, schedules sex, and plans sexy staycations. They draw a parallel to everyday life, including Lauren as the HDP around hosting and how being supported without shame strengthens connection. Lauren reminds listeners that we are not sexually broken, we simply “don’t know how to drive,” and emphasizes the importance of knowing and owning desire.The episode closes with laughter as they play the I Want! game, celebrating desire without obligation, and ends with a classic cutoff moment. They’ll be back next week for part three of this holiday trio. (Enjoy the accidental cut-off!)If this conversation stirred something for you, especially around admiration, desire, or feeling seen in your partnership, you don’t have to navigate it alone. You can request a free 15-minute consultation at ⁠sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠.Ideal for couples in long-term partnerships who want deeper intimacy, more desire, and better sex.About Us: Lauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia where Lauren owns and operates, SEX ED FOR YOU. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as increase the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. (WHO)Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries. (WHO) When individuals are blocked from sexual health they are stunted from developing a sense of sensual play and enjoyment. • Learn more about Sex Ed for You at ⁠⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com⁠⁠• Schedule a FREE CONSULT with Lauren today: ⁠⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠⁠• Learn more about partnered communication best practices on Sex Ed For You’s Instagram Page: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/⁠⁠• Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more videos about sex, partnership, communication, and love: ⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@thepartnershippodcast⁠⁠Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.