Advice and Encouragement

Just as strawberries taste better when they are dipped in chocolate, advice tastes better when it is wrapped in a thick coating of encouragement.Your advice is valuable, but it will never make as big a difference as your encouragement.Encouragement is the opposite of flattery.When you flatter someone, you tell them something positive about themselves that they know is not true. And they suspect that you know it is not true.A flatterer is a liar who believes they are talking to a fool.When you encourage someone, you tell them something you have observed in them that they know is true, or have always hoped was true, and you are simply confirming it by speaking it out loud. You believe it to be true, and they know you do. And now they believe it, too.You have spoken to the greatness in them. You have seen something in them that they have always hoped someone would see.That’s what makes you a great encourager.The people in your life need your encouragement more than they need your advice.Think about the people who have made the biggest difference in your life.Those people believed in you and gave you their:TimeAttentionPatienceConfidenceWhen I say they “gave you their confidence,” I mean that literally. I’m not saying that they confided in you. I’m saying that they had confidence in you when you had none in yourself. They gave THEIR confidence TO you. They gave you the confidence that you have today.Give a person confidence and they will never forget your name, your face, or that moment.The people who gave you confidence saw something in you that they wanted you to share with the world. Their reward was that they got to see you flourish and blossom and grow.Today they are seeing you make a difference everywhere you go.Would you like to become an encourager?When you see a stranger do something skillfully, say, “You make that look easy, and I know it isn’t. You really have a talent for that.” And then allow them to react.When a person says, “I’ve always wanted to become a __________, but everyone tells me that I couldn’t possibly do that because I __________.” Look at them and say, “Of course you can do it! I KNOW that you can do it. You just need to decide whether or not you’re going to.”When you have known a person for awhile and have seen a recurrent characteristic in them that you admire, say to them, “There are a lot of things about you that I really admire, but the thing that always knocks me over is when you_____________.”Your words will light a candle in them that will never go out.The lightning bolt of your encouragement will propel them forward and light their pathway for the rest of their life.We need encouragers, and we need them badly.I want you to consider becoming one.Roy H. WilliamsMartin “Marty” Strong is a former Navy SEAL, business leader, and author who challenges conventional thinking about how companies — and the people who oversee them — should operate.Blending lessons from the battlefield and the executive suite, Lieutenant Strong argues that too many of today’s leaders cling to outdated methods, failing to recognize that the marketplace is constantly evolving — and that effective managers must anticipate and adapt to change.To do otherwise, he tells roving reporter Rotbart, is like relying on an old encyclopedia — making critical decisions based on information that is no longer accurate or relevant.