Advice on parenting with a disability

Raising kids can be crazy enough. For parents with a disability, it calls for creative thinking and problem solving on a whole new level. Katy Gosset looks at how to tackle the tricky bits.Raising kids can be crazy enough. For parents with a disability, it calls for creative thinking and problem-solving on a whole new level. Katy Gosset looks at how to tackle the tricky bits. Subscribe free to Are We There Yet? on iPhones: iTunes, RadioPublic or Spotify. On Android phones: RadioPublic or Stitcher.Seven years ago Jack* learnt he was going to become a father. His first emotion? Fear.Jack has lived his life with cerebral palsy in what he calls a "love-hate relationship"."Growing up, there were parts that I really liked, that shaped my character and there were parts that I detested and I've struggled with."So, as fatherhood approached, he found himself considering what might lie ahead for his child."My first thought was 'Gee, I hope my child doesn't have a disability because I don't want my child to have to go through what I went through'". As it turned out, his son was not disabled but it's still been quite a journey.Jack's cerebral palsy affects all his limbs so some of the physical parts of childcare were a major challenge "I have pretty good motor control but things like changing a nappy was almost impossible with my hands."Tricky, too, was dressing the baby, tucking tiny limbs into a buttoned Babygro. "It was difficult and I didn't really want to do it because I ended up hurting the baby by trying to get their clothes on."In the end, Jack got creative and, while his wife was working, organised a roster to assist with ablutions."I had my mums and dads on my phone and I would ring up these people and say: 'Look, can you come over and do a nappy change?' and then I'd flick them a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine." Family members who have to adjust to a disability in the family often learn to think laterally early on according to clinical psychologist Catherine Gallagher."In terms of problem-solving, the obvious solution may not be possible for them and so they're having to think outside the square and that's a really good life skill."Parents living with a disability share plenty of common ground with other new parents, she says."For many, the challenges are just the same as other parents share who are trying, in their own way, with whatever resources and life experience they have, to give their children the best opportunities to grow and develop."…Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details