Affairs of the Heart: Breaking Through the Candy Shell to Find the Kid Inside

Roderic Cockhern, a retired Air Force serviceman, is currently a junior high counselor for the Arlington Independent School District in Arlington, Texas.  In the lead up to the 2022-2023 school year, Mr. Cockhern and I had the opportunity to sit down and discuss how he became a school counselor, what schooling is like in Texas–specifically speaking to recent controversies over Critical Race Theory–and the changes that Covid-19 has had on students as they learn to readjust to school.  Mr. Cockhern emphasized that his primary job is to help 7th and 8th graders understand that who they are now leads to who they want to be in the future, based on their academic and behavioral choices.  He is unabashedly “passionate about helping students direct themselves toward what they want to do with their high school selves,” and knows how important it is to build strong relationships with students in order to help them understand what they need, what they want, and what they think they need and want.  One strategy he recommends for those starting school, pick the toughest/hardest student in your class and spend 5 minutes regularly asking the student about him/her/their selves.  The conversation may start slowing with one word answers, but by helping the student to understand that you’re trying to get to know the student and that you’re not going to give up trying, you’re able to break down walls and forge connections.  For the classroom, doing so changes the overall dynamics, and for that student and their friends, it creates a bridge over the sometimes troubled waters that can be adolescence.