Affording Therapy 101

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper we call her daddy oh the weather outside is frightful but the weather is so delightful and she has not hi dads it's 85 degrees in california today and uh i'm so fucking hungover i went out last night what day is it i don't even know it's sunday by the time i'm releasing this i went out last night with my friend eileen who i had on the podcast and some of our friends and i by dinner was three dirty martinis deep things are gonna go wrong by the end of that night eileen was streaking down the fucking streets of california that is a great night and then we went to go in to get into this place and there was like a long line eileen was like i'm no fuck i forgot about this eileen goes up to the guy and she's like i know someone that works or whatever and he's like we're not letting anyone in right now and i lean dead ass blows him in the eyes and was like it's so disturbing because as your mouth was saying that i just realized you have the smallest wiener and the guy literally goes all right you're done so then i escort her off the premises and we will never be going to chateau marmont again and then we just headed to a new fucking club okay and clubs in la i will say are so fucking stupid i got my fucking ass out of there the minute we got there i was like i forgot how much i hate nightclubs goodbye good dang goodbye except for marquee nightclub in new york city you guys know how that place really gets me fucking going it's worth ruining your life only if you're at marquee nightclub in new york city okay so it's really fun and we had a really good time so today we're going to splurge on a little mini and we're going to go on a vacation because that's what we do on sundays now we take a little dirty trip here we go fuckers enjoy call her daddy is brought to you by dove have you guys heard that dove just dropped a dove reimagined version of the plastic don't you to launch their new alcohol-free whole body deodorant a true 90s baby throwback moment the best part is that dove's new whole body deodorant is alcohol and aluminum free combining 72 hour odor control with nourishing skincare it's gentle anywhere you apply it which keeps you feeling hot not burned for external use only the new dove whole body deodorant alcohol and aluminum free learn more at dove.ca hey alex i guess this isn't really a question but more of a request suggestion since the new era you really opened up about therapy and the benefits it's had for you likewise you've had a shitload of guests talk about their experience with therapy and how it's benefited them which i think is truly amazing and helping the conversation around mental health in general but here's the thing a lot of us who listen to your podcast would also love to be on this healing journey of going to therapy unfortunately can't afford it i'm 25 years old soon to be 26 and in the majority of the conversations i've had with friends my age about mental health the same subject is always brought up the cost accessibility and how we literally cannot afford to get the help we need i have friends my age who have taken thousands of dollars out of savings just so that they can continue going to therapy because they knew they'd be fucked without it i have friends who so badly want to go to therapy but for them it would come down to having money for food gas and living expenses that week or paying for one therapy session so they can try to get their shit together i have friends whose mental health is getting worse because of the stress of not being able to afford it it's like a continuous cycle you want to get better but you can't because you don't have the money to see people to help you get better and then you feel like you're never going to get better so i guess my request would be for you to talk about this more talk about the cost of therapy and how for a lot of people health resources for lower income middle-class families talk about universal mental health care for all do your own research and give your listeners resources instead of just saying go to therapy which we all know we need and i 100 agree with have people on your podcast that actually know this struggle and can openly talk about it i feel like if you started talking about this more you could really make a change you have one of the biggest voices and platforms of this generation oh my god you have one of the biggest voices and platforms of this generation i really believe if you talked about this more it would become a topic of conversation for many and people would really realize that something needs to change around accessibility to mental health resources also thank you for changing the trajectory of this show i never listened to an episode before the single father era because that shit was useless this is the first time reading this question because that shit was useless trash oh well i'm sorry and i couldn't listen to the other voice we really are helping so many people now love you father jesus christ okay i was like in my fields i'm gonna get to answering this question but i did not see it going that route mental health is blah blah also couldn't listen to useless trash okay i appreciate the right in you're right i definitely have opened up about therapy and i am so aware that i am privileged that i am able to be in therapy and get the help i need and i think in the beginning of me just opening that conversation i'll admit when i brought up therapy the color daddy girl is in therapy just with the stigma around it and i think hopefully within the past two years now everyone's like hey alex we get it we should all be in fucking therapy shut the fuck up but i actually feel with my content now i'm trying to pivot even farther and go deeper and i think this question is a beautiful example of what i can now be doing like i agree i was actually just to be open with you guys i was gonna do a thanksgiving episode about going home for the holidays and like the drinking night before thanksgiving the biggest drinking night of the world and then i asked you guys to write in questions and concerns that you have for going home for thanksgiving and holidays in general this year and these submissions are intense as they should be family shit is fucking intense but there's like this delicate dance that i'm doing with call her daddy where it's like of course i always want to have fun we're always trying to have fucking fun at a good time but there's also i'm recognizing i have this platform and i also have resources with spotify people reaching out to doctors for me asking if they want to come on the show i'm realizing i can literally have someone on that could then hopefully change a listener's life because there are going to be themes touched on that could directly relate to you i'm having a licensed marriage and family therapist on the show and i was just like damn like that that's it i guess hopefully that's a start in the right direction of your question where you're saying like like use your platform to also help us get educated i would say when hold on i need to stop this for a second okay hello this is a different day i'm coming back to answer this question i realized that i was sitting down to record this mini and answer this amazing question and i had nothing fucking planned in front of me like i was about to just speak from the heart which usually i would say works but for this specific question i need to get my shit together and actually do the research for you and come back with something tangible so daddy gang i will post all this information on my social media as well so if you have health insurance the affordable care act requires that all health plans offer some level of coverage for mental services so if you have a job and you have an hr department and you have health care there is some type of coverage that is going to come your way for mental services you just have to look into it where the fuck do i look into it how do i even begin that process daddy gang where is your insurance card half the time i can't find mine i call my dad a lot okay the point is daddy gang you need to know your insurance benefits and i understand this fucking shit is so confusing why don't we learn about this in school why taxes and fucking insurance shit i don't understand it it's taking me a long time i'm happy now i can help you guys know your insurance benefits what i mean by that is pick up the fucking card flip it over and call the phone number on the back of that card there will be a phone number you're gonna pick up the phone and then what the fuck do you say you're going to ask the person on the line hi i'm looking at my insurance card right now can you tell me what are my mental health benefits in network is probably what you're looking for because it's going to be hopefully covered by insurance through your job there are some specific situations where out network if you go and find a therapist on your own there is situations where your job will cover that but that's less likely than in network so really try to hone in on in network first after that guys ask if a therapist offers a sliding scale what the fuck does that mean alex i didn't know until i started doing research a sliding scale is a fee for your therapy that is going to be determined based on your income if you find a therapist that offers a sliding scale the cost of your therapy is going to be catered directly to how much money you make fucking bingo guys i also would say to anyone in college right now universities colleges have student health centers that usually offer free mental health services take advantage of that they're taking off more money anyways right um fuck you tuition okay some employers offer mental health benefits through employee assistance program eap so all my homies if you got a fucking job fuck your employer okay they're fucking dragging you through the mud they're the reason you need fucking therapy okay and access is free okay so your employee handbook look in your handbook or just go to your human resources department and they can hopefully provide you additional information on any eap benefit option that's huge guys like there if there is eap at your company and they're willing to give employee assistance for mental health services take advantage and i would just like to say this if some of you go to your hr department and ask about the mental health services and they basically turn you down that is not okay that's not even an acceptable answer they're just being lazy and not giving the correct answer and i would encourage you to either ask to speak to someone else okay next if you do not have health insurance do not feel bad until america has universal health care some of us are gonna have this issue right okay number one better health offers services not covered by insurance for 60 to 90 per session okay so anyone that can afford that 60 to 90 per session better health offer services okay next i would say for people that don't have health insurance open path psychotherapy collective okay what the fuck is that it is a nationwide network of mental health professionals who charge between 30 and 80 per session bingo they only include sliding scale therapists in the searchable database so if you guys go to open path psychotherapy collective online you are going to be looking for therapists the only therapists that are on that site are sliding scale aka they will accommodate your income and base what you're going to pay them based off of your income clinics often offer free services by having supervised students serve as the provider so if there's a clinic in your area show up and ask what services can you provide me for mental health assistance to find a clinic what the fuck how do i find that you are going to contact the national alliance on mental illness national alliance on mental illness nami you're going to contact their helpline or you go to mental health dot gov mental health dot gov just go to mental health dot gov the national alliance on mental illness also has a helpline like i think that's you yes you guys can go to the website mental health dot gov you can also call this number and it offers free assistance and advice for 24 hours a day seven days a week you can reach the helpline at get your fucking pencils out 1-800-950-6264 or you can text na honestly fucking text why don't you guys just fucking text this number 741-741 and you're gonna text the letters n-a-m-i and it's gonna give you information if you do not have health insurance and you're like i can't go to clinic today why don't you start off by texting that number text the number i'm gonna do right now 741-741-n-a-m-i okay resources while we connect you let me click on this link boom crisis hotline resources bullying anxiety and stress covid19 eating and body image gender and sexuality grief isolation loneliness let's press on anxiety bingo there are resources for anxiety and stress right in front of my face right now you can click and i'm scrolling guys this literally is bringing me to find a therapist if you text hold on okay so you're gonna get a text message back and say hi this is the crisis text line don't be afraid and they're gonna say resources while we connect you click on the link and all of a sudden you're gonna be brought to a website that is going to begin your journey towards finding help with your mental health also this is not fucking easy at all and i'm not trying to make it sound easy reading all of these i'm very aware that this is very overwhelming to some people take a second rewind do you have health insurance do not have health insurance and start there the people with health insurance find out those benefits go to open path psychotherapy collective and get a therapist on the sliding scale if you have specific income they are going to help find a fee that works for you based on that income and for all my people that don't have health insurance please text that number 741-741 and text n-a-m-i to that number and just begin the journey i'm driving i'm too busy i'm at school i'm at work like oh i wish but it just sounds too complicated i get it but the minute that you actually get the help you're gonna be like why the fuck didn't i do this sooner and i would also say if you're afraid or just nervous or just hesitant to do this on your own pick up the phone and call your best friend right now bitch we're doing this together let's fucking go like when we get home i'm setting alarm on our phones and we're both going on this fucking website that i'll save us and we're making it fucking happen today call your mom call your dad call a sibling call whoever you have that's close to you and just say hey i need you right now and also i always find when you say to someone say like hey i need you to hold me accountable by the end of this week please call me and ask if i did this and like hold me accountable and make sure that i sign up for this i just understand that i made a lot of comments these past now year about therapy and that was just the first step for me of being open about being in therapy and i'm really glad that someone now wrote this question because i'm so aware that i'm so privileged to be able to afford a therapist every week and so i hope that this is going to help you guys research literally shows that if you have a dedicated weekly space to verbalize your thoughts and emotions it is helpful in itself it pushes you to do better for yourself by like working through those things that need to be worked through or else you're just going to suppress them and it's going to affect your personality and your life and your relationships and your friendships and the way that you look at yourself i love you guys but please if you wanted to get help and you're overwhelmed daddy's got you bitch hello daddy this is childish but i need advice sweetie it's not ever childish okay should i date my brother's friend okay well should i date my brother's best friend we have known andrew his best friend for years and grew up together this is triggering me because my brother had a good friend andrew that i was younger okay let's keep it moving andrew and i hooked up a few times but my brother had gotten really mad and childish and ignored both of us for months recently andrew and i have been flirting and talking about starting up something serious but i'm worried about my brother should i care or is my brother an idiot listen i would say this situation bottom line it sucks but i would also say family first if this is going to create serious problems between you and your brother i would personally say it's not worth it from what you're writing and you're not like i am madly in love with this man you're just like casually been hooking up you're like should we make this serious like this is gonna really hurt your brother it's also gonna hurt his friendship it's gonna hurt your relationship like if this wasn't your brother's friend would it be as enticing like would you like this guy as much because i can speak from experience all of my brother's friends to me i thought were like so hot i wanted to hook up with them and then i did make out with one and after that i was like that was it maybe i would first say explore this relationship behind closed doors with yourself is this a fun thing is this only fun again because it's your little secret or is this potentially something so serious to you that's worth affecting you in your brother's relationship if you are in love with this person it's such a different answer so let's go down route you think you're in love with this person not to put pressure but you gotta fucking figure out is this worth it or not pretty soon because if it is worth it then you're gonna be able to go to your brother and be like you gotta have a sit down conversation with him and help him understand listen our relationship means everything to me but i have fallen in love with this person and i want you to look at it from the standpoint of this is your best friend you know this is a good guy and i know this is probably painful but like i love him and i'm really i'm really into this and i really want you to support me and i know it's not gonna be easy and you need to also bear some weight like don't be fucking making out with this dude in front of your brother don't be holding hands don't be cuddly and if you can say well that sucks like that's not fun to begin a relationship like that well that's the price you have to pay the fact that you're going to sleep with your brother's best friend if you give a fuck about your brother you need to put his feelings at the top of consideration if this is just a fun thing how many other dicks are out there like come on like i get it it's that secret sexy secret sauce come on like let it go so i went on vacation this past summer and i met this guy we fucked got like obsessed with each other foreign dick is just next level but now obviously i'm back in the states and next time i see him i will probably it will probably be next summer we keep in touch every day however he has been asking me to buy him an iphone and i can't help but feel like i'm being used and he just wants to keep in touch because he thinks i'm rich and we'll buy him nice things like a conversation will literally be dead and i'll be like so iphone 13 is out oh my god he says it's just much cheaper to buy an iphone here in america rather than greece but i just don't know what to do please father am i just blind yeah you are blind do not buy anyone a fucking iphone if you somehow end up as a lucky recipient of an iphone congrats you take that shit and you run baby you're better than this girlfriend come on if you listen to fucking holler daddy and if a dude is asking you to buy him a fucking iphone you have to be straight through that shit you're not getting a fucking iphone okay you are being used and i am not gonna stand for this we don't buy people iphones you're gonna go on fucking craigslist and you're gonna get in that big old fat iphone 4 with a big chunky plug and you're gonna send it all across the fucking world degrees here baby i got you an iphone 4 i have a feeling that he's going to all of a sudden be unreachable you can't download tinder on that fucking four i cannot think of one scenario truly let's really picture this where you would buy someone an iphone hey alex i'm not uncomfortable with talking about sex stds or anything to do with sex with the guy i'm seeing but i also don't want to seem like i think he's unclean or anything which he isn't i was just wondering how should i ask him to get tested for stds as i don't think he has since we've become exclusive and i want to make sure now that he's just with me and having unprotected sex that we're safe from anything previous this is a great question you should copy and paste that to him and send this exact question to him i want to fuck you i love fucking you our sex has been so good recently but i think we should get tested and let's just make sure everything's good so we can continue to fuck without condoms because i know we just recently became exclusive if you can't say that to the person that you're in an exclusive relationship with then reconsider your fucking relationship also you should get tested too even if you're like oh i haven't done anything totally fine but don't put this on him hey let's both get tested let's share our results together on friday let's have a fuck test after it okay that is the most reasonable request i have ever heard way more reasonable than the iphone debate okay you are you are at the top of your game sweetie hey babe i know we are exclusive now but i was just thinking about it let's just be super safe now that we're not using condoms let's put our past to the past and let's have a fuck test tonight gotta get that info bitch okay next i just started dating a new guy he refuses to eat me out that is a fucking no no no sweetie cute little thing you gotta bounce the fuck out of there he doesn't eat that box you gotta get right out get back on the street sweetie whore it up let's go anyways he said his ex peed in his mouth not squirted just full-on peed while she was riding his face he's really good at everything else and i just really want my fucking clip sucked how can i help him get over his past trauma of getting pissed on so he's comfortable eating pussy again i would not call him getting pissed on his trauma okay this is a ransom situation yeah you hold low jobs hostage and you don't offer any until this man eats your fucking pussy you can tell him to get the fuck over it if this person is obsessed with you like they're down for some fucking like oh fuck like you accidentally peed like who gives a fuck it's sex it's supposed to be nasty and messy people paint sex as it's supposed to go perfect and according to plan and the flip of the transition to the next position should be so effortless and oh my god you queefed this is so awkward it's like no my pussy is wet and there are air sockets in it because your fucking dick has been sliding inside out of it it's like people you need to understand this is what i would say the more what he's calling trauma okay the more trauma there is pee and shit and farts and queefs and all that the better the fucking sex is then the more that you're willing to let all of your inhibitions go and actually fucking get freaky that is when sex is good you're probably over there like i know that's why i'm fucking telling you how to get over this i think you should say babe shut the fuck up you need to understand piss is piss why is he being a fucking pussy you literally say babe you need to trust me i understand you trauma okay let me be the first to tell you that i am not gonna piss on your fucking face but if you don't eat my clit soon i don't know where this relationship stands so add that to your fucking trauma list buddy get down and get busy on my fucking clit that is it for this week's fucking episode baby girls world story today is do do not do not ever sync up and give someone that good good and by that good good i mean that iphone and then last but not least getting peed on is not trauma what's really trauma should be dealt with with mental health services and i am really hoping that you guys are going to actually make it happen today pick up your phones get on your computers call a friend hold yourself accountable and get the help that you need there is no fucking shame in taking care of yourself we have one fucking brain and we have one fucking life this is it this is literally it so do you want to be the best version of yourself the healthiest version like fucking happy or do you want to stay kind of in the shadows and not facing some of the shit that if you deal with it i promise you it just gets better i'm gonna put one the time codes of the mental health second i'm gonna put that in the description so that you guys can go back to that and start it and pause it and i'm also going to put it on my social media daddy gang i fucking love you i will see you fuckers next month you