AITA for not caring about wife’s affair?? #reddit #Storytime

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1b9bmly/aitah_for_not_caring_about_my_wifes_affair/ My (29M) wife (29F) has been having an affair for 2 years, and I have been aware of it pretty much the whole time. We've been together 7 years and married for 5. We don't have kids. I have been work from home since COVID hit. For the last 3 plus years she has been a secretary in a large office building. Now I'm not gonna pretend like we had the perfect marriage 2 years ago and that I can't believe she would do this. I was totally complacent in my life and really wasn't putting much effort into our relationship at all. That doesn't excuse what she did, and she had her own issues with intimacy and communication that lead us to where we were then. I just want it clear I'm no saint in all of this. I totally understand we were basically roommates that on rare occasions had sex. Well I found out right away when the EA started. I've got all of our everything logged into every device we have. Including my work computer. I mean synced email, text, photo, social media, etc. So I was basically reading her affair regularly, including went it became a PA about 4 weeks in. The part that told me this was over though, was I felt nothing about this. I was totally indifferent, maybe a little embarrassed at worst. When the PA started 2 years ago I recognized this marriage was dead, and that I should just divorce, mostly because I felt nothing. I started looking into lawyers and figured we could just do this easy and amicably. Well here's where the crazy part happens. When the EA started she seemed, I wouldn't say happy, but, less sad. Then the weekend after the PA started, I got the shock of my life. She came into my office that Saturday morning and asked me to take her on a hike and picnic. Initially I thought this is the moment to burst her bubble and reveal what I know. But I didn't, I decided to actually get up and do this. I kind of thought she was gonna reveal it herself and ask for divorce. We had a real nice time, it was a great day, and she never brought up anything. I chalked it up as one more good memory before we end this thing. Then she asked me out again that week. Then we had intimacy. I don't know if it was shame, or guilt, or what but she was basically taking the initiative to improve our marriage. After that first week she began to open up more about her feelings. I for some reason had a fire lit under me, and started to make some effort in our relationship, started reconnecting with some old friends, got all the laundry off the gym equipment. The affair continued, but as we spent more time together over those early weeks, and since it really gave me no concern and everything seemed better. I decided to just forget about it and divorcing her and just start enjoying my life. I do still love this woman very much. Up until 2 days ago we were in a really solid place. We had outings every other weekend, date night Thursday, regular intimacy and communication. I don't even read their messages anymore, just occasionally to see if it's still going on. Two days ago I noticed she was having frequent and long conversations with one of her close friends. I asked my wife about it and it turns out this friend's husband got caught having an affair. My wife has been comforting her. This would not have been a big deal but my wife then started bashing the husband for cheating. I don't know why I said it but it came out, "You're one to judge." She got super defensive and pressing me for why I said that. I initially tried to apologize and move on but she wasn't letting up and I eventually spilled I've known about her affair the whole time. She tried to play dumb, which annoyed me, so I started citing specifics. She then got really mad at me, started crying, accusing me of not caring about her. I got pissed then started yelling at her, because I'm not the one having an affair. It got heated we went to separate rooms and slept it off.