Alignment Discussion // Overcoming our need for external validation

Today Ashr walks you through his habit pattern inventory on needing external validation from others. He describes what his life looks like when he indulges in this particular pattern. He discusses which of his self-defeating beliefs are validated and how his active, yet unknowing investment in those beliefs causes him to neglect fundamental needs. Here is a sample reading: "When I indulge in the habit pattern of needing external validation… I compare my insides to other people’s outsides. I allow people’s success to make me feel inadequate. I refuse to try anything new unless I know I can succeed. Thus, I stay stuck. I seek attention on social media to compensate for my lack of creative completion. I over explain myself when I make mistakes. I make decisions based on what society deems acceptable rather than what I value. I doubt myself when people disapprove of me or treat me unkind. I become uncomfortable with voicing my true opinion. This habit pattern validates the following core beliefs: I am unworthy because I rely on the approval of others to gain my sense of self-worth. This causes me to abandon my truth and become a chameleon with no sense of autonomy. I am incapable because I don’t dare go outside social norms or risk rejection. I am unlovable because I only allow people to see a façade because I deem the real me to be unworthy" Thank you for listening!!!