"Almost" Part 24: Book 2, Part 14

Tom Convinces Hart Tom thought long and hard about going to the continent again. He felt a great excitement in his belly at the very prospect. No, he thought, not ‘going’ to the continent – flying to the continent! All thoughts of Jacqueline vanished from his mind for the next two days – except for the occasional burst of self-congratulation about having made the right decision. He made long lists of things he needed, and planned possible routes, determining how and when to stop to pick up fuel and more money. The current crop of pilots were due to graduate in four weeks. When Tom entered the classroom, he was greatly surprised – and slightly alarmed – to see Jacqueline sitting in her usual seat. His eyes raked over her, to see if she had dressed up – or down – to impress or frighten him. She returned his gaze without guile. He felt the force of her will, and suddenly remembered that she was the kind of woman who could sit in a class of men without fear. After the class, she remained sitting while the others filed out. He felt sad, suddenly, after everyone had left, and she was alone, staring at him, her books stacked neatly in front of her. “I don’t mean to alarm you, Tom, but I don’t accept your reasons.” Her voice was even. Tom nodded slowly. “I don’t hand myself over to men. I’m not a party favour. Or a conquest.” She smiled. “And if I felt that, even a little, I would curse myself and never speak up. But I wasn’t a conquest, was I?” Tom shook his head. “No, I was much more than that. I was – the possibility of love. Not that quick, not that way, we were both greedy. But the possibility.” “If I didn’t think that,” said Tom, “I wouldn’t have said what I said.” Her lips pursed so tight it looked painful. “Sorry,” said Tom. “I don’t want to be cryptic.” “A friend of mine had her bloke sleep with another woman, and he tried to convince her that he did it out of love for her. Don’t be that bloke.”