Am I Married to Someone with PDA? What I've Learned, What's Helped, and What's Still Hard

BIRTHDAY DISCOUNT: 30% off Exhausted to Empowered Course use code BIRTHDAY at checkout! Have you ever asked your partner to pass you something and gotten a "why?" in return — and thought, wait, what just happened? If that moment felt strangely familiar, this episode might be for you. Greer is getting honest about something she doesn't see talked about enough: what it's like to be married to someone who may have PDA (pathological demand avoidance). Not from a place of frustration or blame — but from a place of real, lived experience, ongoing learning, and genuine love for her husband and their marriage. She walks through what PDA actually is, why it can look like defiance even when it isn't, and the two things that have made the biggest difference in her own relationship — neither of which she came to perfectly, or all at once. What you'll hear in this episode: Setting expectations before the moment matters — way before. Not at the airport. Not when you're already frustrated. Greer shares how pre-loading expectations (sometimes weeks in advance) has quietly lowered the demand pressure in her home and made daily life feel a little more like a team effort. Bringing your partner into the solution — not as a strategy to "trick" them, but as a genuine invitation to be part of the answer. It doesn't always look the way you'd do it. And Greer's honest about the fact that she's still figuring this out (the missing lightbulb is proof). She also talks about the importance of low-demand evenings, why adults with PDA are often holding so much together during the day, and why asking your partner what actually helps them is always worth trying. This episode won't hand you a perfect system. But it will remind you that you're not alone in this — and that both of you are learning, even when it's hard. The Wonder Project: Subscriber support makes more great content like I Gotta Ask with Annie F. Downs possible. The Wonder Project subscription on Prime Video is available in the U.S. for $8.99/month or $89.99/year after a 7-day free trial.Visit IGottaAsk.com to learn more! GET THE LINKS ⁠⁠⁠The Unfinished Idea Website Join the Unfinished Community Follow me on socials: ⁠⁠⁠INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠FACEBOOK⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices