Brought to you by the EveryDollar app, start budgeting for free today. Do I morally owe my dad's girlfriend money from his estate? Okay. My dad's girlfriend.
Tell us more. Well, number one, did you borrow money from your dad's girlfriend? I did not. So why would you owe him money?
Well, they've been together for quite some time, a little bit over 20 years now, and he passed away about two months ago, and they were living together at the time. And now her daughter is now pressuring family members family members on my side to somehow come together and financially split the money from his estate once we get it and get it. Why are you getting it? Did it all go to you?
No, so it goes to me, my brother and my half sister. They, he did pass away unexpectedly without a will. Oh, okay. Okay, so I was gonna ask, was there a will that said it went to you or the courts just decided this?
No, there was no will and the money will be split between me and my brother and my sister. And how long was he with a girlfriend? Just another 20 years, 20 years, and they lived together where their lives combined as though they were married. Basically, yeah.
And the daughter, is that your dad's daughter or that's the girlfriend's daughter from another relationship? Correct. Yes. Ooh, that's messy.
Boy, oh boy. I mean, what was his wishes? Did he have a will? Like your name was on everything legally.
No, there was no will. Actually, yeah, no will. So it's just the next upkin thing. The government just goes, all right, give it to the kids.
What are they requesting? What's the girlfriend requesting? And what's her attitude? Like what's her demeanor been?
Well, it's more her daughter is requesting. It's not necessarily her. She's trying to fight on behalf of her mom to go, mom, you're owed something. You're with this guy 20 years.
This is crazy. How old is the daughter? Just over 30, 30, 31. And what's her, tell me about her, if you know anything.
Is she doing okay financially? Or does this have the ability of like a lever that she's pulling to try to get some? No, she's not financially set. She lives with a boyfriend to have a baby on the way.
They are just kind of living their lives. And I mean, I can understand where they're coming from with trying to get money back into her. And they're only really pressuring my youngest sister. So my sister is really pressuring her.
They won't come and talk to you. What are they asking for specifically? They're basically asking for her to either split and or give up her. What is the rationale for her giving up her share?
Because her mom put all this time and money into the house, basically. Okay, so is the house split amongst the three of you now? Whatever we have to sell the house. So whatever we have on top of that, basically once all the deck gets paid, once the house gets paid off once the deck gets paid.
So the girlfriend has to move out. The girlfriend has to move out so you can sell the house. Is that right? Or she wasn't there.
Yeah, I'm on my mother's thing. Yeah, so I was actually, so I was renting a house that my grandmother owned. And since we've found out we have to sell the house, they all needed a place to live. So I packed up me and my family and went and rented a different house so that way they can move into that house.
Oh my gosh. For that's, that's, that's my sister. This is so much so much. I was owned the house for like 55 years.
So she's owned that house and that way they can all have a place to live and that way they're not, you know, struggling to jump around and find a place to live. It's my grandmother, her. So that was good. Or a whole other end of stuff.
Oh yeah. So this is a meme I like made. Let me, can I recap that and make sure I understood it? So you were living in your grandmother's paid for house with your family and you said, I'll leave that house.
So my dad's girlfriend and daughter can move in there free and clear, right? Well, it's my, so it was my, it was all basically all the people that lived at my dad's house. So it was my grandmother who had just moved in in February. Huh, who was?
His girlfriend. I have a step brother, which is her son. Oh my gosh. And then my full brother.
OK, so so the girlfriend and the daughter are not displaced is what I'm saying. They're taking care of because my, my thought, the one thing I did wonder about is like, OK, she's been living with this man for 20 years. It does feel like the rugs being pulled under her out from under her. She has to move out of the house.
She doesn't have any money, right? So it does make me feel better that she's got a place to live indefinitely. She's not on the streets. She's not on the streets and this is in Pennsylvania.
All this correct. And the if there's a silver lining to this, it's that I mean, they move into a house that is paid for rent. There's no mortgages. No, it's basically living who pays the taxes.
Who pays the taxes? My grandmother will be paying the taxes. OK, so what I'm but went from the other three people that are living in the house will pay for their taxes. Great.
OK, great. And does does girlfriend have to pay rent? I don't know their financial way. They're handling that house.
OK, and did she have to? I'm just trying to understand. When she was living with your dad, did she pay or did he pay for everything or you don't know? So they keep basically paid for everything.
She did work. She really only worked to the way they can have insurance because he didn't have insurance or his company. So he basically held everything financial down. She kind of only worked enough to pay for insurance.
OK, I don't think that you guys are on the hook to do anything here. This is what happens when you don't have a will. This is what happens when you don't estate plan. When you don't get married and have a house.
So there's a lot of things that went wrong here and is very complicated, but morally, legally, ethically, I don't think you owe anything. And here's the problem. If you guys do give them a dollar, they're going to come at you for the next dollar and the next hundred dollars. Because there's nothing in it.
So it's going to open a door. And I just would keep that door closed personally. Yeah. That's what I was on with my youngest sister today.
Just kind of going over and explaining that to her. I just kind of wanted to get a little bit of a second opinion. Well, there was never a commitment. So and that's what I'm going to base my answer on anyway, is if you want a commitment to getting money out of a will, then you have to start with a commitment through marriage.
And so I'm going to keep that same through line of a commitment was never made. And therefore, a commitment does not have to be fulfilled. And that's kind of some people might be like, well, dang, dang, dang, the woman was living there for 20 years. And I get that.
I hate that for me being OK with it is the fact that y'all didn't displace her. You made sure she has a place to live. She's taking. She's OK on that end.
And my other part is she had a role to play in this too. It wasn't just that your dad left her without anything. She also could have said, hey, I'm here. I've been with you.
Do you have a will? Is everything taken care of? So both parties have something. To not even think about this is pretty wild behavior.
And so she put herself in a very risky position. And now is reaping the consequences of that. But under what I've seen under Pennsylvania law, she has no right to any of this. Just as a girlfriend, she's an unrelated person in this.
And it's going to go to legal error. So I would consult a lawyer if you want to cover your bases. But morally, just based on feelings, you're going to feel guilty because it's not a good situation. But you did nothing to cause this.
And I don't think it's your problem to solve either. So I'm sorry going through this. I mean, if I'm you, I'm like, lesson learned, I don't want to put my family in the situation. Let me simplify it on intertwined family finances and non-family and are we or aren't we?
Just keep things very, very clear. Create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way of budget for your life.