Am I Still Spiritual Bypassing by Trung Nguyen

You may have heard of the term spiritual bypassing. I like to think of it as a coping mechanism with the aid of one's spiritual practices. According to Wikipedia: Spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks”. When spiritual bypassing or redirecting emotions, the action can seem extremely helpful due to their “positive” effects and results at that given moment. Because of these preferred outcomes, one doesn’t realize that they are possibly still running away from their problems. It is similar to giving medicine to alleviate the symptoms, but never changing the root cause of the disease. In mindfulness practice, this bypassing can show up in many different ways. I keep going back to using meditation to get myself into a calm and relaxed state that feels very safe and void of my life problems. It usually shows up when I am trying to avoid a negative situation or feeling and using meditation to escape into a safe space. This medicine isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If I can channel it as a tool to feel better so that I can tackle the root cause of the disease, then it would be a healthy relationship for my growth. If I am using it in a reactive way to feel better and continue that pattern without awareness, then it has become an addiction or just another conditioned habit that is not mindful. This small difference of awareness is crucial to understand spiritual bypassing. To be mindful and not develop spiritual bypassing, I personally start out my meditation practice by checking in with myself and asking the question, Why am I practicing meditation right now? and What are my intentions to meditate? If these answers reflect a way of coping or avoidance because I am stressed or not feeling well, then I can take a step back to reaffirm my intentions. I come back to understanding that the act of meditation isn’t a time to feel good or heal myself (or anything in particular). Knowing that there shouldn’t be any expectations during meditation is crucial. I need to be clear that this practice serves to strengthen the self-awareness of the present moment by continually coming back to the object of meditation (i.e. your breath). That is it. The rest will happen naturally and organically. There is no need to desire a positive outcome during or after practicing mindfulness. The act of making the time to be with oneself is already the positive action and outcome of self-love.