Am I Too Much, Or Are They Not Enough? | Unlearning the Story That Followed Me Everywhere ? | Episode 5

Too loud. Too emotional. Too intense. Too much. I have heard it my whole life, from my mum, from friends, from men I have loved. And somewhere along the way I started to believe it.This episode is my confession. I am tracing the “too much” wound all the way back to childhood, to a little girl whose own mother would retell the story of another parent calling her jaga jaga, over and over again, until the shame of it became something she carried as her own. And then watching that same story follow her into every room, every relationship, every version of herself she tried to soften just to make other people more comfortable.I talk about the friend who cut me off, the ex who said he wanted peace, the men who call me aggressive just for asking a question. And what happens when the people who love you the most are also the ones who make you feel like the most is too much.I do not have a resolution for you. I am still in it. But what I do have is the question I am finally brave enough to ask out loud. Am I really too much, or are some people just not enough? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ellahsconfessions.substack.com