Hello and welcome again to Amberville City Heroes. My name is Alex Creoteen and I am your Game Mustard. This is a real play podcast where you play the game of Fate, very very poorly and we pretend we're superheroes. Hey!
Tell stories. We do alright. No. We do.
We do. We do. We do. We do.
We do. We do. We do. We do.
We do. We do. We do. We do.
We do we do. We do. I'm a Alex because I get all the stuff I'm going to do but. I will.
I got to do the stuff I have to do. I got up. I got a mouse I went to let's see if it was generated. And you know?
Did he take that out of the 1913 Oscar? I'm recording that on the way though. I did in the pig contest with Tim's jam. I got to encourage him people to play guitars in their ass and that goes, I'll do that in the Cyclops a bitch.
That'll be okay. All right. So let me show you the name of Shaanen. query, and play character name of query.
So who wants to tell us what happened last time on the episode of the show? Me, I guess? Yeah. It always you.
I want to mix it up. If you want, you tell people what to do. Bananas. Bananas, get it done.
Yes. How many jokes are in your notes? It's all bunch of fun. It's just all fucking terrible buns.
A little bit. Picture of the yogurt shirts. I drew a bunch of hearts around yogurt commercials. Small boat, smaller shirts.
I got in contact. You got in contact with Rubber Maiden of New Paragons. Yes. Are you good?
No. I'm reading these notes to Ellie. The deathbeds are so funny to me. Death is so funny to me.
Death is so funny to me. My death. You want me to die. Okay.
Stop. I'm trying to do this thing, like decent for once. New Paragons. Rubber Maiden.
We're waiting. Okay, so light speed that sent over and of scurrying light speed at a cupcake party Query flew to China and did something with Donaldson, right? Is that the name? Yeah, Donaldson go into the wilderness like a beautiful moustache so there's that and then grab y'all research some symbols and Was put in touch with Blair did she have a last name Solomon Blair Solomon?
She has a middle name as well Ava name is Blair Ava Solomon as in the king And she's a magic lady So she came over and told us that somebody's trying to do some holly morphing to which I wrote each each Easy but the dice in the cup Light speed took off to kind of monitor the city and found out that there was a jacuzzi takeover in a furniture store by Slentrin blister and that's basically where we left off grab it all portal them out or upstairs Okay, no, sorry upstairs. They ended up out of the store and in a backhoe driving away. Yep Ta-da so that's where we are You guys upscurity and grab gal are in the furniture store like speed has run off queer You see the backhoe driving out of the alleyway into the main city streets. Yep.
Like speed runs up to the window goes Oh, she does not good. No, he starts running after the back. I'm jumping off the roof. Okay.
Hold on away down the night I'm gonna go they have a backhoe This is not a warning this is I'm going for the wooden one because I can't touch the other one by the way He's radioactive radio after the radioactive. Yeah, he's wearing a suit. I'm just saying maybe he can take his own suit off And that would be a problem. It's much up for that.
No, I'm telling you I'm making clothes I'm gonna try to get the wood down. All right. Okay, so grab gal obscure screw ties. It's dirty.
What do you do? It's a fly out front. Okay, it's all the people we just told the go outside coming back in Scurty what do you do? Is the fire stop in the building?
No, okay, let's maybe get that put out Okay, I know that there are those two all right all right, so Okay, what does everybody's notice for? three Okay, so Okay, so it's gonna go splinter bluster light speed query obscurity grab go okay splinter bluster they are on the street and I swing the hanging arm of the backhoe into a building that's their driving and it's dragging alongside They seem to be hooting and hollering and Splinter is driving and blister is on top of the backhoe and he's firing radiation blast the cars Like speed likes me runs up and tries to shoot lasers at Fucking blister You shooting lasers. It is not gonna be effective Is the cabin closed no just a straight up back up. Oh, I'm gonna try to use my scarf to yank See you have to get to them Athletics to them okay, I mean it's a bit away So either you have to drive something or somehow spider man your way over Yeah Okay, so you're gonna have to do better next time to get closer you maintain distance Okay, if I'm following in their trail and I'm having our time keeping up I'm just gonna while I'm going through make sure that no one in the buildings with the backhoe is going through Okay, and I think if I can get them up safely I'll throw down like a parachute or a big bouncy cancel Fucking thing or something right okay.
That's security. Yes. Okay fire out. Yeah, okay I'm going to head out I'm going to alert the police Okay, I don't think maybe set up a barricade up head.
I'm gonna warn them to be careful that the backhoe is driving around Yeah, okay, we'll do it again. Okay, and then yeah, I'll head out and see if I can see everybody else's at okay Grab go yeah How big does backhoe standard standard ass backhoe not like building a skyscraper backhoe no Okay, I'll try and like Flip it from a different right roll will it's a toughy. It's a heavy one To to you're able to slow it down, but not lift it. It's pretty heavy Lightspeed he catches up to the backhoe and he runs around it.
Hmm. What's he gonna do with the speed? He's gonna try to run up it and punch blister in the face He tries to punch blister. It's not do to go.
Oh wait. No, it's gonna blester go. I got my head yet I don't know okay Spinning the cab around to smash it up blister fires a light speed. Oh It's okay light speed dot is fine Then like speed is gonna shoot at blister.
They're having laser blast war. There's a lot of damage around because they're both In the street we got the responsible member of the Yeah, yeah roll for it My city query. Yeah, it's much easier to catch up now You can catch up what you gonna do. I'm gonna try to use this guy to yank swear out of the cap.
All right roll for it All right here believe you want Obscurity can I assume Mike took a bite to the furniture store or how did I get there? I don't know. I'm trying to hop on a bike. It's what I'm trying to say.
Okay. I can say you got a bike there Okay, because I'm gonna hop on a bike to try and catch up. Okay. All right.
That's what you do grab a deal. Yeah, what you do? All right, I'm going to yell at them to stop the shenanigans But at the same time start slowly applying pressure to them grab what which one? Maybe just the cabin is there a cabin of the vehicle yeah, yeah, the guy that was driving is now out of it Uh one of the guys is on top of the cab the other one is on the street whoever's driving the guy that was driving is now yanked out There's no one driving this thing.
Nope. Oh Is there who's in it nobody's in anything? Nope? Where to sue I'm going to compress his suit.
That's what the guy made the guy that has my suit. Yeah, you're gonna try to compress the suit slowly Okay, like not to the point where it's like hurting him but like so he like force choke like Do this thing or you did okay? Okay, roll will So three or no four okay, you do his suit tightens all right, uh splitter. I'm with the uh splitter stands up Uh, he's like bad move dick face and then he like he wave his arms open and a bunch of wooden splinters I'm flying off of his body cracking off of his body into wood spikes and they fly at you query Okay, she's a bunch of wood splinters try to dodge roll the dodge Yeah Negative two negative two yeah, okay, you get hit with uh, he made uh, dagger two.
So you get three. Okay. I Need a pencil Okay, all right then blister. He's like he's uncomfortable in his suit Um, so he he he he's going to shoot a big boy.
He's gonna try to take his helmet off He takes his helmet off. He's like fuck it. He takes his helmet off and his head is like glowing and like Yeah, it's going pretty bad and he shoots a blast at light speed Misses light speed turn light speed is gonna He's rabbit punching. Uh, he ran away and he's rabbit punching, uh splinter the back of the head Yeah, pretty much he's a super speed guy.
He's like fuck. Oh, he hit this guy then. He's right watching him Uh, great here turn. Okay.
Uh, he's sitting there rabbit punching him. Yeah, how's that going? By the way? He's pretty good.
Swinner's not happy with it. Oh, no, he's getting right up onto the back of the head. Okay, Like he's kind of powerful. Do I still have this scarf?
Uh, yeah, okay. I'm just gonna take a running Savat kicked his head. Okay, just try to kick him as hard as I possibly fucking can. All right, if we can beat this dude up, hey, that's that one.
Yeah, I'm gonna send a big one. Okay, three Okay Okay, so Okay, so All right now it is obscurity your turn you're catching up on the bike. Okay, uh, swinner got Red punch in the back of the head and then kick to the face. Okay, I'm trying to get to the Kevin because I want to try and stop back.
Oh, okay. All right, you're able to get to the cabins It slowed down a little bit and nobody driving it's just kind of meandering around the street. Okay. Um, don't need a rolling thing to get off the bike and onto it Back about takes where I thought actually whatever the fuck that skill is.
Okay The physical one The do shit thing the do button added to yeah to all right you're able to hop off the bike and into the into the cab Okay, but you only roll the two so when you hopped off the bike the bike careens and crashes into the the bucket Of the backhoe and like it peels the top of the bike right off So you're down another way How many bikes you got left one one boy? You're not gonna fucking away from me No fucking way I Do you know Okay, so you ruin the bike Did she successfully roll under do shit or that? Yeah, no she just has to roll dude now you're in the cabin Okay, um, I was thinking there should be a tabletop RPG system that has two skills to do shit and think about shit No shit do shit How big to do shit? There should be another skill called uh physical effectiveness and mental effectiveness So it's like I do it well how effective is it pretty effective?
So no the skills would be uh no apply do strength Do I know it? Yep? Can I apply it? Nope?
Can I do it? Yep? Am I strong enough? Nope?
Four skills Just think I just ran into a dragon's word available You want a real few with iceberg here. Oh man, let's just make it. Let's make fate light Even lighter even we break it down feather 1d4 That's what you roll everything is 1d4 and you have two skills think and do That's it the thing you can do it system. Yeah, or to do it think or do think or do Todd Get down with Todd I mean it's great Todd and waiting for it.
Okay. So grab gals return. All right. Uh, that's he's do's head blowing.
Yeah, what kind of are we in the middle town? Oh, yeah, nice river never All right, so safer. I'm gonna send him flying. You can go him zero grab him Reverse gravity on him And I'm gonna make the center of gravity for that motorcycle Basically Jake is doing great things with his hands.
Okay, if you want to watch the twitch Okay, let's spend a fate point. I want explosions All right, let's do it. He's doubling this Yeah, so seven Okay, he goes flying to the air the motorcycle's flying afterwards. All right, he takes all that.
Um Was there an explosion? Yeah, so you throw the man made of nuclear energy Into the air into the air and then you throw a flammable fucking half-bike up at him Uh, he's flying up in the air the bike chases him it hits him and you like it explodes like a bike explode But then like after that start selling down to go Like a huge like a huge plume of like glowing green and red energy sputes out like windows shattered like a ground chase I'll try and contain it On your that wetter than wanda max mama. Uh, so normally right, uh, you can wait for your turn to try that Okay, um Splinter splinter sees what happens. He likes starts laughing like a clag like you're like you're flying as well dumb bitches Um, and then he's going to pull off a large wooden sword off of his abdomen Is gonna try to stab like speed He's like speed with a wood sword He goes as dangerous as a lone bitch Stabs him with a wood sword Light speed backs up and leaves a blast sim for a little tiny bit of damage Uh query it your turn.
Okay, so did he successfully get light spot speed off of them basically? Yeah, um, like he's got a big Chart of woods taking out of an object Um, I'm gonna reach into my pocket. Okay, and pull out a large baton like a retractable baton. Okay, I just smash Uh splinter in the back of the leg trying to break it But i'm not trying to deal damage just created advantage for light speed so that he can be like trying to make splinter prone But fucking up his leg.
Okay, go for it. Go roll for creative advantage one. Okay, uh, you're she made it because he rolled pretty bad Okay, so he's he's staggered. So anybody can give plus two one if they use the staggered sounds good.
Okay, so now it is Obscurity your turn. I want to try to stop back hold. All right, roll drive Nothing All right, um, you're you're ganking levers to drive Instead of stopping it so glad you instead of stopping it you've turned it and it runs through a fire hydrant water Just go spraying up through the cab. Uh, and you crash at the side of a building.
It's effectively stopped So you've successfully stopped it in a way. Okay, we've also crashed it through a storefront. Oh god. What kind of a store diamond store?
Like a jewelry. Okay, yeah, john t expensive jewelry John t expensive jewelry incorporated And the alarm goes right right right right right right right and like there's like big metal bars and water spraying into the store Water now Spring it because you know how they have the metal bars. They're all bent and water is sprang up into the cabin into the store. Yeah, the Yeah, but containing a blast apparently roll roll well to contain the blast Nope, the blast kind of decibates a few stories of a skyscraper Great You want to use a fake point that would take it up to reroll I can just get myself plus new you could just give yourself plus two or you could reroll since you rolled two negatives I could roll three or four negatives.
That's true. There are just break even out of all of the options two are worse Out of all of the plethora of combinations are two worst combinations Not just telling us we're making a bunch of new superheroes here today like everyone has radiation powers is fine That's where we store guys a new village like Boom so six so yeah, you're brutal Yeah, so you're able to contain it um so it does not doesn't make Actually, you know what james. Yeah, um you know what you're doing like you after you threw the bike into him Yeah, what happens is like explosions starts to happen and it does like it decimates Uh like a skyscraper but you start to panic a little bit and you're like oh fuck and then like you're snapped back to a few seconds ago Before it decimates it and you're able to contain it. You don't know how that happens.
All right I roll with it. Yeah, take anything I can get so like you watch like Right so you do witness like the decimation of like multiple skyscrapers via nuclear blast But they're able to snap back a couple seconds to control it. All right. All right splinter and blister splinter is not looking new He look at be it um he gone Uh shit he gonna he gonna try he gonna try to punch where he tried he tried he'd negative two Sure like shady acting fighting Okay, so yeah, he doesn't do shit.
Okay, uh light speed light speed runs and query Not query sorry As the the backhoe is crashing into the building like a metal bars coming through and like speed runs to the cab grabs you and runs out Like you were gonna get stabbed with a rope the wreckage, but he runs through and grabs you out of the cab Okay, so now you're in there. Okay. Yeah, it seemed to be okay I just you were gonna get like run through by a nine-bar Query return. How's this this man looking?
Uh, he's looking not great not great. Not great at all I like me didn't use my advantage really no, but you can okay. I mean it's there right Um, I'm gonna try to grab him with a scarf pull him close to hit him with an elbow when he gets in there Okay, so roll back right to the head you're gonna use that too. Yes I'll skip you with a big point the That's it Four four all right.
You can't win. All right. Yeah, the fight is over after that By the way, I'm immediately pull out a pen laser and start carving my name into his face. Okay, all right That's fair.
That's why I mean his wood grows back so fast. It doesn't really and I'm gonna have to take pictures and you know Yeah, I did it with the brown hook to I just uh graffiti that someone car Okay, so you're you you can't own them both the police come and take them away They're like thanks for stopping their path of destruction. I guess sorry. I got started in the first place It's okay Like like we'd like I got run through by a piece of what oh yeah, we should I can do first thing we have nothing.
We have nothing but a couple of rings. Yeah, you're base kind of blows guys We're getting there. We don't have a team any other we're figuring it out. Well takes time A lot you could be known as the light speeds.
You have to be here more office. No, I would just license it up For a for a modest fee You could be known as the light speed cat ears And you can get my stamp of approval. You can all wear my colors. I have a better idea.
What you know what wood burning is uh No, okay, so when you use a laser or heat to write things into wood. Okay You want to put your name on this guy? Uh, please are taking away. Oh, they're not going to go You sure yeah, all right just saying branding.
I'm gonna be a donuts. Okay. You want donuts. Thank you for your All right, I'm going to pass and stay back and that's not going today.
I'm gonna bring a bunch of donuts over to the base then Better be cost your field Can't be choosers. Hey Did anyone else see what grand girl did when she reversed time? No, okay. No, everybody just knows that the the thing was contained Okay, I'm just gonna do a radio then I guess just I'm gonna help clean up and look around everybody did really well by fair Good job Lightspeed runs to the new station to do an interview and then gets donuts and then is at the base before anybody else of course So it's all over the news like speed is like I came here to save you guys from splitter Like by the time you get to the back to the base you've already done like 30 videos And it's like he's all over the news is like light speed came to our town to save us from splitter blister It's like yeah, I took about I mean the other team helped by me and I was here And he's like they said they don't have a name yet.
I'm proposing they call him the light speed cat ears And like he's like if you like it vote on twitter There's nothing I could possibly anti Twitter campaign Immediately there's nothing I could do to this guy that he's gonna do better himself He doesn't need help making yourself a good shit He's relatively popular on social media for sure. I'm sure That's good media presence. You know, like yeah, here's a photo of me being a jerk over here I'm in a different place. I'm still a jerk.
I'm a jerk here. I'm a jerk there. I'm a jerk. Fuck it everywhere I They said they were aware that you had one by the shirt that you did All right, I'll say hold your chest quick enough He really quickly I do everything fast, baby.
What a brag You know sex it's over quickly Very quickly the dream four seconds tops. You don't have to suffer long, baby He's the worst. Yeah, nobody likes like Us for help Oh boy Once everyone's safe, I'm gonna case the scene and see if they are what they're doing is related to anything else We did or they're just two assholes the roughage. Coosy.
They're just two assholes. I remember okay. You need a double jack boy It basically it seems like they thought you were too busy because the evangelist was in town. Yeah, so they thought they could just get away with whatever Yeah, all right because they're just assholes get the joker parade coming in Yep, those fucking dicks.
I mean there's more dickhead villains that would not high stakes but lots of bad behavior out there Yeah, does that just doesn't like doesn't seem to me if I'm putting the pieces together that evangelist being here kind of sends that signal out Oh, yeah, yeah It's just a message like oh by the way, this place is fair game Yeah, because like most big guys will stay out of the way because I don't want to deal with it But like little dudes like petty crime kind of rises. Gotcha But like yeah, it's a mix like people want to stay out of evangelist the way they will but assholes like this will be opportunist about it Gotcha. Okay. Well, just something I expected me to prepare for in the future is randos.
Yep randos shown up on a timeline. Yep, pretty much So what's everybody doing? Anything weird showing up on the church that's a good question anything from the church cameras are um yeah, you do notice Uh at a couple of them there's a few dudes that have been giving speeches at some of the sermons That are like in strange cloaks Okay, I mean it's nothing violent or bizarre, but it's strange. Yeah, and can you tell what they're talking about from the video?
No, uh No, it's zealotry mostly just like kind of like are you doing enough? Are you faithful enough like that kind of stuff? Are these people who are new to the church right now? Yes, it seems to me.
Okay Um, I'm gonna tell the team I guess that it seems like new preachers are coming into town Which means that we probably need to attend a sermon I have a secret identity I can do this perfectly fine and if you'd like to stay out of it, but I would prefer to have someone who is back up maybe Obscurity since she's invisible So how do we feel about doing that on the next santaf? Okay, okay, grab. I don't know what to do but I will say nice job You uh beat up a radioactive man with very little effort I can We need more bicycles. I assume Pussy go friendly Everyone gets fixie bikes For the Just a tandem or one that just have five One long yeah, that's trying to us can fly like so it's only obscure enough to get around Oh We're gonna motorcycle with a side car.
Yeah, we go or just two side cars Foot just put the side cars together. That's very slow two side cars. Yeah, just two little dumb drops of con And they keep okay orders so you can drive like a boat She's utterly confused by what I'm talking about. I know what you're talking about I'm so confused though We're like dragging like a boat on the road You have two orders, right?
Yeah, each of you has four and then when you go row like whether you stick the oars onto the street and push the side Just slappin the ground. Yeah, it would be noisy. It's real team billion Especially uphill that would suck the super teams here. They bought a small chair and two oars Oh Yeah, that's my game plan for now.
Okay dress up like a older rich lady going to church fans duds All right, there are three churches that these people have been appearing at um There There are two that seems like they're new and then one it seems like these people have been around for a while Okay, which one are you gonna go to the one that's been around for a while? Okay. All right It's like the next uh the next day of worship is in a couple of days So what do you guys do in that mean at time? I'm gonna talk to the lawyer.
What do you talk to the lawyer about? I wanna ask her if there's a way to like track magic like with someone performs it's a way to see where it's home from Um, there's a way while it's happening to interfere with it, but not It's difficult. Yes and no It's it's easier if I know the person or have something of the person to detect when they're doing it um, it's easier to Detect when it's happening and just kind of Battle the magic in the veil, but that's not going to give us a physical location of anybody. All right We need something layers.
Yeah. Yes. Yep That's just both not like a demon leg or what? No, like something of the person that's doing the magic All right.
Yeah All right, so Uh, what are you the other guys doing? I get two things I'd like to do. Okay, um, tell them I guess first I'll go back to a base that I have in somewhere in the country and set up a supercomputer for our base So I can bring it here eventually just start working on it. I was gonna take a little bit work Yeah, that's what I figured But I also want to set up so that each of my phone member phone members only do members get a phone so that they can use the supercomputer remotely Okay, and then also put a fail safe in it so that if it's ever Too far away from their person.
I get notified. Okay. Um, do you have resources on your thing? Yes, all right your resources goes down one Okay, um, I'm gonna do a quick thing and say hey, um, are buddy Al disappeared?
Okay, I'm gonna do a quick thing and say hey, um, are buddy Al disappeared? Yeah, and I know that he's available to talk to you I know that he's available to talk to is easy to get to yeah, you can get to him because you're probably gonna sneak into his office or whatever I will go through the front door if it's him Right, okay, because like I do have some amount of respect for that guy, okay All right, yeah, you can talk to him. Okay, I just I want to like do a quick thing and say hey Um, are buddy Al disappeared? Yeah, and I know that he's gonna be a little bit more than that And I know he's one of your friends right is this happened before?
Uh, not that I know but I can put up I can have people looking for him. Okay, did he just vanish? Fin air. Okay standing there one minute go on the next.
Okay. I will do what I can but I don't I don't know why I can I'll try to figure it out. I'm not asking you to solve it. I just want I want you to know because I know with it Right.
We haven't shared interest gotcha. Thank you very much. Thank you. I'm not even gonna bug him.
Okay, school ready What are you doing for that? Couple of days? I'm gonna go bike shopping Okay Okay, yeah Motorcycle or actual bike motorcycle. Okay.
Are you getting anything in particular? I want like different colors for everybody Everybody yeah, it's sparkly like really bikes shiny glittery. Okay. Yeah, do you have resources?
No, I'm just looking Okay, you're not buying them your shopping on shopping putting it on our account that we You're gonna do that at the bike shopping to say put on the account. Yeah Do you say do you Okay, what social skills do you find? I'm gonna see if you get away with this. Can you calm someone if you give me your four free motorcycle?
I have rapport. Yep roll that I got a five. Yeah, they're like, oh, okay. I didn't know you hadn't got with this anymore.
That's cool. I'm not trying to steal them That's like you. I'm not saying that to him. No, I know okay, but this guy this guy believes you.
What do you say? Well, I mean it. I obviously He gives you the bikes. Okay, how many do you get?
Um See there's four about four Four. Okay. So all right you get four mics. Where do you want to live?
I'll give the address. Okay, they're they're delivered there. I'm gonna look for like stupid like Cheesy bumper stickers too. Okay.
All right. Fair enough cash grass or ass. No one rides for free Our super teams model Save in the day and talk people in prostitute their bodies For rides across town. So we've actually just got a few free motorcycles.
So yeah fair enough. Oh boy She's good with the words. We should just send her around to ask people for free shit. Yeah Yeah, let's go to the next pizza place.
Hey, do you know we have an account with the city like at like one time? Yeah, like one large pepper own. Okay, so they're delivered to your base. Everyone notices new bikes.
All right. These are gonna match very soon They're purple. Yeah, of course. That's sparkly.
It's mine. I claim it. I like it No one can touch it rub his face out of This is gonna very like inter-release Hello rider magazine. Oh Rob, are you just doing?
Oh my god Becky thing? No, I was doing Yeah, that's all right. Oh my god, oh my god Look at her bike Okay, so those days pass anything else you guys doing those days control Okay, but Sean it seems relatively quiet. Okay good.
That's not something we do very often. I'd like to make a comment about it. Okay All right, so you go to the The service the sermon is everybody go I'm not but I know it church. All right.
Where are you hanging out? Got lazy portals. I've really called out and grab girls. Yeah, he's got some habit.
I'm just portal way. I can't be invisible I can show up in it Okay So you're sitting there during service. Mostly it seems like a pretty normal service Uh the preacher's talking preacher preacher nonsense I'm gonna try to during the speech by the way look around and notice the people around me how they're reacting their faces stuff like that Um they all seem It's like strangely deadpan. Is there signs of brainwashing?
Uh, roll in vista gate Last fake what? Jesus too. Uh, yeah. Yeah, it seems like they're kind of like despondent and weird.
Okay Um and roll notice both y'all Five. Oh one Okay, uh, you do notice that the preacher like he the stuff he's saying is like weirdly apocalyptic And like has a really weird cadence to it. Okay, and then he he says like now I need to welcome the acolytes because it is our time We've been the chosen um from the back of the the room come a couple of men and weird cloaks And there's also a woman with like a 1950s hairdo like a beehive Uh more like you know how like the weird bangs in the long okay, like uh, how would you call it? That's a bob Not so much a bob But like it would have like she'd have the bangs in like a headband and then like kind of long Okay, yeah, poofy in the back Um she comes out and then also from the other side what looks like a robot man comes out jackpot Um and they're just kind of standing at the back of the stage while the the acolytes Um they they start talking seems like nonsense to you, but everybody seems to get really into it Okay, like it just like buzz words and weirdness.
So they notice that I'm off Uh nobody seems to know okay, but I'm just gonna try to play cool keep recording keep an eye out for things Okay, um and then they say like In the time you've been chosen um you're to be judged if you've purified yourselves You'll be part of the choir and if you haven't Um, you'll be damn the hell and it's your time to be baptized to clean yourselves and to become part of the movement And then everybody stands up and they start moving the pews into like a like a basin area I'm just gonna meet it like a cracker when I need to Um demon situation Um, so they're like they're moving the pews like building like a like a like a big area kind of like what you saw in the other church And then from the back of a bunch of other people are carrying these gallons of water And they're pouring it in the middle and like the pool is starting to fail Okay, well, how is the church lit? Um It's kind of a modern church. Okay, so it's got uh, it's got electric lightings Um, yeah, there's big windows as well. I'm just gonna say I'm security.
Can you kill the lights? Yep Is that what you're gonna do? Yes, I will go ahead to kill the lights. Okay.
All right, you kill the lights It doesn't seem to slow anybody down the light torches the short drawing symbols on the walls. Okay. All right Well, there goes our tactical advantage I will wait till everybody gets here and sit here and kind of Keep my hand on my gun very carefully. Okay, grab.
Yeah, what do you do? Uh, do I I guess I'll portal Is there a belt in the street? Uh, yeah, all right. I'll go to there.
Okay. All right So you're just watching them. They fill the pool, uh, with all this water And then one of the acolytes comes and says who wants to be the first to be judged and uh man goes me Please I will scream as loud as I possibly can. Okay.
Yeah. All right, uh There's a bunch of people raising their hands. So let's see The act like grabs the other guy first. I will pull out a gun and shoot him the other guy Okay, okay.
All right. You're gonna shoot the guy. Yeah, I'm not gonna use a real bullet But it will have enough stuff in it to make it look like he's dying like enough poison. Okay, so you're gonna poison this dude.
Yeah roll shoot What? Okay All right, you shoot a uh The acolyte everybody called her flips off the act like grabs the guy as like you shot him He just kind of throws him into the pool. Okay, I'm just gonna immediately start screaming that it's my time for retribution Okay, and if people start coming my way, uh, let me know. Okay, uh, nobody seems to be coming your way Does anybody else do anything?
I need to just stop the guy from hitting the water uh roll will Four four yes, you're gonna stop him from hitting one. All right Okay, security. They're still drawing symbols. No, they're finishing on symbols.
Where they draw the symbols away. Uh like chalk and blood Okay, I'm gonna Are they facing them still though? What do you mean facing? They're all around like all the walls in the pollution thing I'm just I'm gonna start going up to the sim.
I mean invisible right i'm gonna start like Okay, I'm not like the holes, but you know enough to worry. I'm assuming maybe I'm messing up there I don't know right. I don't watch about magic making assumptions here. Okay.
All right breaking the symbol lines Okay, um one of the one of the acolytes points at the one with the the 50s hair and she's like take care of that one and the One starts coming at you. Okay, I'm going to throw gas grenade in the ground. Okay, throwing gas grenade in the crowd roll Actually just a smoker needs to get seen about that. Okay.
Um, what do you want to roll in your fight shoot shoot? Free. Okay. Do you fire smoke loud and nobody can see?
Okay. Um In that case Okay, yeah in that case i'm gonna disappear into the crowd Take off my disguise and try to move through the crowd and try to get to the people who are throwing dudes in the water Okay. All right, uh grab. Yeah.
What are you doing? Um Is Blair still back in the base? Uh, yes. Can I open a portal to her?
Uh Yeah, not really Yeah, but like you like you can portal something to somewhere but like like you don't know exactly where she is All right, what's happening though? I found the one. It's a bunch of smoke now. So I can't see anything.
No, just Yep I guess i'll wait Okay, and ready myself to Oh, okay. Okay. You're scratching away symbols. Um, but none smoke fills the room and you can't see anything Okay I'm just running along the ball then just Okay, all right, uh, you hear somewhat of the acolyte say Uh dive into the waters to cleanse yourself when you're here splash splash splash Because people are running towards the base and falling into the waters I'm just gonna post myself up around and try to knock them away as they come in trying to get away from the water Yeah, yeah, kind of the like there's a giant crowd I understand but like maybe one at a time I give one pleasure Right try to keep them out of it.
Yeah, okay. Um Okay, so you're doing that you're able to keep some out Uh If they can stand they will try to try again. So like you have to knock them out They're just normal dude so you can knock them out with a punch I have lots of glue and stuff on me too Right to stick people to where they need to be so as many people as I can keep safe I will and if I notice anything happening to the ones in the water, I will try to hit them with a drink under a dart or something It's pretty smoky. So like basically you're standing in like white flagging as people are coming by you grabbing them and decking them to the ground Um grab a guy you hear a bunch of Spanish's okay.
I know where that is. Yeah, I guess I'll try and like Sike in the water All right, you're gonna try to the water. Oh, we'll Two two You're able to lift some of the water, but water's real tricky. All right, um So like you're able to lift some of it.
So you're working on that uh obscure tie. What are you doing? Um, I can't see no I guess I'm gonna try to slowly carefully head in the direction of the splashing Okay All right slowly heading in the direction of the splashing um Okay, after a while the the people start stop running past you and everything kind of goes quiet As a smoke continues to fill the room. Okay.
I'm gonna use my con to grab girls I smoke as density if you want to move it by the way All right, with your ready powers to clear the rumor or hear them or I don't know I've punched like 30 of these guys I'm running out of time. I was hoping you would disperse them, but they're too far gone. Uh Let's see what I can do All right, so what are you gonna do? Yeah Like smoke go up.
Are you gonna drop the water to do that? Oh, uh, no water. I got You got a few gallons. That's not that much.
Oh, yeah, I mean lifting water's hard. Um, yeah I'll disperse the smoke instead. Okay Two All right, um you start moving the um the smoke around and you notice there's like a bunch of people laying in the pool like face down soaking in the water And then there's a bunch of other people around query That doesn't seem to be anybody else there for the can I check on the people in the phone? Uh, yeah, it seems like most of them have absorbed a lot of the water.
Okay. Are they dead? Like are they face down drowning or It doesn't seem that they're dead. Okay.
I'm gonna try to do my best to get them out of there. Give them safe Make sure the water's the other ones, etc. Okay, Siri. What do you do?
I can see no yeah, the smoke has dissipated All right, if the robot dude or the 50s check anywhere. Nope once the smoke clear they were going Okay, yeah, I mean we just had no more checking on the people Okay, um as you guys are checking on some of the people start convulsing violently Okay, which oh Try to hold them steady give them a sedative. Okay. Uh, a lot of the people are mutating into horrible beasts.
Oh good Oh good shaking and growing like horns and horrible stuff. They're mutating terribly as they're doing this I would like to make an active attempt to try to pin them to the wall of the ground Before they just run in wild. Okay using glue traps and bolas and snare wire stuff like that. Okay All right, yeah, what are you doing?
Uh, how many people are actually transforming? Uh, let's think about 20 Only that's my church will be when I get down there As fast as I can okay and touch my ring to them to any of them as I can they have to be wearing it All right, do they have fingers Uh not for long I will put it on At least one So you put the ring on them No Um magic man, it sucks I guess I'm a stick What I'm going to ready like a portal To get them out in case they explode not you Yeah, but very well because last time they explained okay, okay All right, um as some of them they're they mutate into gross monsters and they kind of split open and viscera flies everywhere cheese Um one after another except for one who um Is like kind of puddles up into like a fetus and like wings sprout from his back and they grow all fucking huge Oh, I'm getting on that shit. That's just not happening. Okay.
I'm stopping that shit. I don't know how It's nearly possible stuff. That's fine. All right.
Um He stands up and he's got fucking nine wings And he's like oh fucking buff a shit Lopsided just buff a shit so ripped. Yeah, he's lopsided He's lopsided wings, but he he stands up and he's just like he looks completely disoriented Okay, I'm gonna kind of do the hand test like how does he react to me putting up my hand does not react to you Uh Figures moving eyes. Nope a lot of the other dudes are still like convulsing and exploding. Yeah, this was an angel He looks like a different one.
Okay, he looks different but white or yeah, I mean ish he looks not damaged. Okay I'm gonna yell out to grab her. We need to get this one to solvent. All right I don't know what the rest of these they might just all explode Um One a guy comes out from the back of the church and he's like one of purity Michael grab your sword and he holds a sword Up in the ancient terms around starts walking towards him Do my best to prevent that?
By tackling by scar fams, they're much much more powerful than I yeah, okay It started with this then you're gonna watch me sadly and Like futilely fight them. Okay, let's just try and hand this other guy a sword. I'm yelling for help. Can I put so all right?
Demon or angel walking towards someone yeah Just put a portal for the portal where you're trying to portal them off As far away as I can can I go back to the base you said as far as ways you can all will So I'm taking the first thing you three three okay portal appears query with the angel walk through the portal And they're they're gone All right, so great Uh grab gallium security you're there and the the the acolyte is like you guys don't even know what you're messing with angels Okay, you know exactly what he uh if I read the bible Yeah, bro. All right then he um said Michael He he motions and then the uh the lady with the 50s air in the robot come back out The guys like kill them and then he starts walking away with the sword And that's gonna be your thing Clear You appear over a large body water. Okay And uh your city's not a coast town. No, but you don't see land in any direction Nope, you guys walk through the portal and you just fall into water all I'm falling through the area.
I'm gonna check my GP Okay I want that moment where I say ah shit and then hit the water and break like four bones No, you weren't too far above the well. No, you were really far as far away as I can okay Okay, so it's far from the water. I've got like broken legs and hips and well you're continuing to follow your GPS and recalculating If I'm falling that far, I am gonna try to do something right my sweater open and use it as a glider. Okay, you can do that roll Uh, is it like a gadget what would it be working with?
I get so weird on these skills. Look for gadgets It was like you use a substitute if it's applicable right so like Physique in order to hold on to it because it's hard to strain on my arms or right right right um Physique. Oh No, do you have a gadget skill right? Yeah, well no, I have a stop which is plus one of gadgets of Oh, then yeah, you're fine.
You get you have a gadget stuff. Okay, um you're able to kind of parachute down the the angel's kind of just floating there in the In the air, okay, if I can get down safely, I'll turn it right into shorter or no in the air He's in the water. No, he just he's like flying in the air. Oh god And you're like you hit the water and he's like flying like a mile and a half not a mile and a half But like 200 feet above you is not moving at all.
No, okay Huh? He doesn't do anything. I know we're getting up there. He didn't do anything until the other guys told him no I know but we need to get him safe like we need to get my way from where he can listen to stuff right Shit like to my calm work We'll find out next Okay, okay, dark.
No, that's okay. It's good. It's good. Sometimes it gets a little bit spooky.
That's all right. Um Yeah, so that's uh that was an episode spooky spooky some some blow up guys and some email me on the second Uh, I have been Alex karkamax karmax karmax I've been Alex karmax Fx we all just all three do that at the same time. I wanted to do All right, I'm a star fax and you can find me at happy puke I'm just Shannon. Oh, I'm on i'm car fox You can find me at underscore puppy fish JH at my meeting on twitter following for pictures of Shannon in the car fox cosplay Jake said Darth mobile That was not up.
So what do we think of that guys? That's pretty good. Are you making a stupid weird cliffhanger bully and bullwinkle ending again? Oh, yeah, we did you want to make it up?
Yeah, somebody fucking oh follow us on shq podcast on twitter Uh patreon if you want even if it's just a dollar, uh, you can I'm not gonna make you literally every single bit of help is a thing and we appreciate it Yeah, because we love you. Yeah, you guys are great. Yeah, but when I say every week and we'll continue to stay every week Even if you give zero dollars still love your ass a lot, but you cannot donate your after-patreon I was a button just like what donation? Oh, yeah, like if you like one dollar two dollar nudes Like if there was a nude steer where it's like every month you just donate your butt send us pictures of your butt Oh sex patreon I think that's money.
Yeah, that's money. That's shit. Yeah cutting this out. No best idea There's like boopics for every boopic you send a month you get a butt pick a butt pick back Maybe you're just like literally a merchant of nudes at this point time.
That's you. That's your goal. Yeah, it's the newt's trader The newts come in the newts come out Spicy controls the universe I can imagine like like if that business was awesome like just sitting in like a smoky room with a cigar like every day Nudes come in the newts go out the news who keeps the news moving? I do I built an empire based on nudes I built this fucking empire and then you're like 67 tired Your grandkids playing in the yard.
You look up from your coffee and you go 87 pictures of bottles today We'll never end It's work at that point Another day another dollar it'd be like being a gynecologist. It's like it's a guy a Yeah, it's not even sexy at that point. It's just work at their work nudes work. There's personal nudes There's work.
These are my business news. Let me show you my portfolio of business dudes follow me on LinkedIn for my business I can imagine like being 80. There's a final take over by another family. That's like godfather.
I'm like you got an Somebody's going to go with a ball Here's a question do I know how to swim Very know how to swim James Can can grab girl rewind this entire episode With a religious iconography make enough people uncomfortable stop listening to our podcast altogether We haven't got that we didn't make us beat up the endo. We just got a guy beat up on it. I'm gonna face two episodes ago. That's true Oh, shneet.
All right. Well, I guess that's it. Oh, I have one what will splinter and blister find their way into the new kitty pool Nice, can we make that jacuzz? You make anything and jacuzz with enough heat maybe this is my hell jacuzzi In my jizz Just go see have a good night We love you follow us on patreon everything's connected Hey there heroes of security here.
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