Amberville Heroes #69

Howdy everybody. My name is HappyPuke and I am the Game Mustard of here, this one, this show. But there's another show I'm not the Game Mustard of. That show is called Arklight.

And the reason I'm telling you about Arklight is because they are the sponsor of this show today. And, you know, you'd be a fool if you didn't go check out Arklight because it's a fun little show. You know, while I'm at the Game Mustard of the show, I am on the show. Currently a fine gentleman named Frederick Greenleaf is jamming a tails from the loop game that I am playing in.

And, you know, if you don't know what tails from the loop is, boy, are you in for a pleasant, aeromantic surprise full of wonder, whimsy, and 80s nostalgia. Yep, that's right. 80s nostalgia. We're bringing it back.

First one's to do it. Hello and welcome to another episode of Amberville City Heroes. I am your Game Mustard HappyPuke and I am here with four tasty treats. First of all, we have Playing of Scurity, the good old Raspberry Shannon.

I would like to be a hot fudge sundae. I already said you were a Raspberry. Can I get a Raspberry on my hot fudge sundae? That seems like a flicking taste profile.

Chocolate and a raspberries? No chocolate and bananas. Chocolate goes on bananas all the time. Okay, anyway, moving on.

We have the Boys and Berry in the face. We have playing sportsman. Chick, oh, shit, what up, it's that Boys and Berry? Yeah, we have playing Wayfair, the good old strawberry wacky-gy.

You know what goes well with strawberries? Visole's breadsticks. You can use them as a delicious chip. Another delicious tree.

Four tampons. That's another conflicting flavor profile. No, it's not. It's delicious.

All right. And then we have... It's probably cheaper. What, a tampon?

Breadsticks. Breadsticks are cheaper than tampons. That's always one time. Yeah.

Well, the good thing about Visole's is all their food comes with plastic applicators. Shoot them inside. Keep them into using plastic applicators to shoot a breadstick at your mom. That's Jesus Christ.

All right. All right, so now we have playing Phalanx, the good old Chuck Berry. Chuck. Do the twist.

Yeah. Twix. James. Hello.

Hi. I'm kind of turn off of all foods now after that last time. I'm not leaving anymore. Good news, everybody.

I'm no longer eating. He has 100% on tampons. He's ready to learn. I think just for a week, breadsticks and tampons should treat places.

That's not a week. That's just starting off strong. You know how we do. You know how we do.

All right. So this here is a superhero podcast based in the city of Amberville. Canonical with everything here on this here feed. What anybody here in the gallery of heroes like to tell us what happened on the last episode of Amberville City Heroes?

Anybody? Viewer. That means me. No.

Show it means whoever who did the last time. I think James usually doesn't have to pick up after the break. I know it's really smart of him. I know it's really smart of him.

I edited it and I'm like, I don't remember. The smartest guy is the one that doesn't have to listen to the show to know what's going on. Oh, I remember some of it. I don't know.

It's fucking genius. So our team was asked by the Amberville Police Department to help transport a plant theme supervillain nightshade who needed to be transferred from one person to another. And in the process, things went awry. I guess it's the best way to put it.

Team was in the right. Sorry. It sounds good. Anyway, four supervillains showed up, free, clear, Dr.

Delicious and the very Dapper Professor Trapper. All of whom were hired to help break nightshade out their escape artist or more specifically prison escape artists. There was a fight that ensued. It got down to the wire.

A couple of cops died, but we managed to make sure that nightshade was secured. And the other team disappeared with only obscurity really being entered for needing two sour of a gunning run. Yeah. And then on the ride back to our base, we were stopped by a flack of owls or a single owl.

It was a flack. It was a flack. It was a flack. It was a flack.

I think it was a flack of a big old fuckload of owls. What do owls flack are they murder? I don't know. Crow is murder.

Crow is murder. I know it's murder. That's what I'm saying. I've never heard anyone talk about a flack of owls.

I don't think there's such a thing as a flack of owls. That's why I was like what the term would be? It'd be a hoot. Isn't it a parlament?

Oh, I think it's a parlament of owls. Yeah. I think it is. It sounds so fancy.

Well, you know, owls are very rich birds and a lot of capitals and money. They got some toot. They're landowners. They have political power.

Anyway, these owls were the goddess Minerva, who is rather upset at phalanx, for giving away the book of both to a wandering vagrant street position. She doesn't know that. It's where's my skull. Well, she did.

She did want to know where you put it. I haven't told her yet. Yeah, that's okay. So we're picking up.

Right. So you're all there on your way back to town. And there is a parliament of owls, new thing on it. And one of the owls speaks to phalanx directly.

Where's the book? It was stolen by a magician who, player Solomon, how did you let that happen? She has magic. I'm not really quick for that sort of thing.

My faith in you has been misplaced. I guess so. And the owls fly away. Must really upset the owls, bro.

Yeah, happens. Am I still drooling? Yeah, your mouth is a bit numb. Good.

Guess I'm drooling your chin. Got to wipe it up. Gently dental patient? Yeah, it's going to be a two point where you feel like you just been to the dentist and you just drew on yourself.

Got a fat lip. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So what are you guys doing now? I can't feel my tongue. She can't feel her tongue if you guys didn't understand. No.

She said she couldn't feel her tongue. So you can't feel your tongue? No. I probably get her home.

Put her in bed. Get her a nice piece of candy or something. No, my candy. No.

So I thought she looked sweet stuff. Two at point. My bad. I didn't read the room.

All right. So we headed first. Let's go to base and get her in her bedroom. Yeah, is that everybody?

Sure. How about you? Now that we're making plans about what to do with your person. With your big fat lip.

Yes. So I guess we'll go back to the base and regroup. Okay. You guys get back to the base and when you get back to the base, the the ghosts are like someone delivered a package for security.

Mm. Who says this? One of the ghosts. Oh.

One of the farm ghosts. Okay. I'll take it. Okay.

It's like a brown paper sack that has written on the front of it. Oh, security. I probably shouldn't have touched it. I don't think things through.

Do I recognize the handwriting? No. Mm. Not.

I'm going to put it up to my ear. Okay. How long has it been here? Oh, you guys can go.

It's like, oh, look at how hard it is. You put it up to your ear. Yeah. You hear the crinkling of the paper bag that's about it.

Is it heavy? Uh, it's not super heavy. Is it an Amazon box? No.

It's just wrapped in paper. No, no, no. It's like a lunch bag. It's like there's something in a lunch bag and it's like...

It's not in a box. It's a bag. Yeah, it's like a brown paper lunch bag. Oh.

It's a fritter. I'm going to like squish it with my hands. All right. It feels like there's something relatively solid inside.

Maybe not a fritter then. All right. I'm going to peek. All right.

You look inside. There are two fat stats of cash on the inside of the bag. What? Two fat stats of cash.

Okay. Why? Who are you asking that to? I'm just holding it up and showing everybody and drooling and pointing at it and shrugging.

Cops are pretty good. Is that okay? Were you paid? No.

Wait, don't do your money. I don't know. I'm sure they detected for a moment. You can figure that out.

Oh. So what do you guys do? Is there like postage on it or anything? No.

It just, uh, the ghost say that somebody walked up to the door, dropped it off at the doorstep. So description of this person. Yeah. Like a middle-aged guy kind of balding, just kind of wore blue jeans and t-shirt.

Sound familiar? It looks like he had oil stains on him. Kind of dirty shirt. It's not ringing a bell with me.

I don't know. They just put on the doorstep. We put it inside for safety. So.

Um, okay. I'm going to say, I'm not going to touch the money. I'll leave it in the bag. I'm going to try to fingerprint it later.

Okay. So what's everybody else doing now? I'm going to give a sportsman a present. Okay.

I have a rookie card of his I got from the collector. What? I'm going to present to him. No.

What the hell? Where'd you get this? Uh, from the collector. Stop signing cards in 84.

There's like 10 of them. Well, here's one. Don't ruin it. I won't.

Thank you. You're welcome. Well, yeah. Yeah, it's my job.

I'm just very, taking my back right now. Having a hard time. Well, I know that I'm very appreciative. Thank you.

And, um, I need some time myself. He's going to run off into his room. Okay. All right.

Uh, wayfarer. What do you have to? I'm somewhere wrong with that guy. I thought he wanted the card.

Yeah. I'm going to go to my room and rest for a little while because I just got my ass beat by some intangible guy. Families? Uh, did Leia give me like a time frame or anything for her?

She did not. All right. Yes, I will just. Do we have like a city report on a computer somewhere or something?

Um, what are you looking for? Just like the news of the day. Besides, um, our transport. Yeah, sure.

Uh, the news of the day. Mostly everything's been relatively quiet. Aside from the prison transfer, of course, that's on the news. Other than that, everything seems to be pretty easy.

There is a mention of the side and being killed. What? Like God? Yes.

He was assaulted and killed on a beach. All right. I'm going to get more info on this. Okay.

Apparently, uh, Kali and Ares lured Poseidon out of the ocean by attacking his followers and then slid his throat. Jeez. So that happened. So like today, like, same time, like a little while ago.

Jeez. All right. Yeah. I see this one.

Or ramp it up. Yeah. There's also like some cell phone footage because apparently somebody was live streaming it. It was streaming.

They would test up a god. Yeah. So there's a bit of footage of like besides blood spilling on sand and like, it starts to animate in a weird way. So like this creature made of blood and sand.

And then Kali kind of scoops it up and they take the baby away. Okay. Mute. Okay.

Yep. That happened on the news. Was that local? No.

That was not very good. That was on the world news. Yeah. World news.

Yeah. World star. The god the side was killed last night coming up next. Little weather report.

Jamie's going to tell you what's happening with the big big downtown. Right. There's five ways you can spend. You can save a dollar at the bottom.

Yeah. Yeah. She's. Oh.

I'm scared. What are you up to? Is this still same time? It's later in the day.

Okay. After I've rested up. Yeah. I'm going to try to get fingerprints off the cash.

Okay. So you're fingerprinting the cash. Yeah. All right.

You get the fingerprints back on the cash. Okay. It's there's a guy named Jimmy. He owns an auto shop.

And he got like arrested once for shoplifting back when he's a teenager. So it's a print on file. But that is who the prints are. But he should be like 45 by now.

And his prints are pretty old. So. Right. What do you mean?

His prints aren't filed from when he shot with the team. But now he's 45 and was an auto shop. Oh, okay. I just didn't know what he meant by his prints are old.

Well, because his prints aren't in the system for a recent offense. His is in the system for when he was shotlifting as a kid. Okay. But I meant like his prints on the money.

Or no. No, no, no. Just the print on the system because of a fence from one ago. Okay.

All right. I'm car mechanic grease maybe. All right. I'm going to look into this Jimmy person.

Okay. He seems to own a relatively well respected auto shop in town. Okay. I mean, can I find any connection to how he would know me at all?

No. Like I said, he had criminal activity back when he was a teen. But it seems like he's gotten off the streets. And there's also a few articles that you read from parents of troubled kids who were like, he takes in kids and teaches them a skill.

And my kid would have been on the streets if it weren't for Jimmy. That kind of thing. Hmm. The time that it is right now is it when the shop would be open?

Or is it past that time? It's probably going to close about half an hour. Okay. I will wait until the next day.

Okay. When they're open. I'll do some sleutie. Are you doing your nighttime job at Fritters?

Can I talk yet? Yeah. It eventually wears off. Yeah.

Okay. Yes. I will go do my job. Okay.

All right. The night passes unless somebody wants to do something specific. Um, I would like to do something in the middle of the night. Does that count?

Sure. Okay. Um, he's going to try to sneak out the middle of the night without anyone noticing. Okay.

I don't know how well that will go. Roll self. Yeah. I neutraled with success.

Neutral with style rather. Okay. No, it's a zero. All right.

Okay. Okay. I'm going to start screaming for the birds. Okay.

Uh, his screaming. But yeah, he's kind of. He's like, uh, he's doing like the sad, uh, dad things. He's got like half open back robe.

He's like, why were you talking to me? I just want to talk to the goddamn birds. I just want everybody else. Roll me a, what social scale?

What social scale you rolling? I'm really under, uh, can I really provoke? Sure. You're four?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay.

All right. You're, you're provoking at the birds. Eventually and I will like open up the high tree. Uh, you hear the voice of nervous.

I say, what do you want? God, is it true? Yes. Wisdom.

Yes. You know who I am? Yes. You know who I am here?

I could guess. To talk to you. Well, I figured that out. I'm not sure what you are up to or what all this pantheon mess is about.

But I needed to come and talk to someone in face to face about it. So there'd be a level of deniability. What are your plans for this team? For what team?

This team behind me. You just, uh, phalanx, you just, came and saw him. You've been involved in a business for a very long time. I only have interest in the phalanx.

I don't have interest in the rest of the team. Do you still have interest in the phalanx? I'm disappointed. But it doesn't mean I've ridden them off completely.

Okay. And when all this comes together, who will you be talking to to make sure it works? Because people in power will fight very hard to hold on to that power. Are you a diplomatic god?

I'm the more diplomatic one that you may meet. So when I figured from research, the way I see it, 12 must have throwns and it might as well be a 12 that I put together. I understand that, but the 12 must have thrown so many people to build the roads. And right, we want to keep people doing well.

There's others that would seek harm. Right. And with all due respect, many of your compatriots are dangerous. Not within your pantheon, of course.

I'm talking to the others. Anyway, I wanted to speak with you in person so you know I didn't mean ill. I think you are likely the most reasonable of all the options. And if you know who I am, then you'll know how to get hold of me.

Thank you for your time. Yep. I'll turn around and walk back to that. Okay.

For your job, as well. Good morning. What kind of fritters do we make? Pineapple.

Okay. And Jerry. Okay. All right.

One standard. One standard. Okay. There's also some apple and maybe some cinnamon.

They like to work with all these others for us. They have to have some right apple and then cinnamon or apple cinnamon. Ooh, both. Who's going by a cinnamon fritter?

Really? Just cinnamon? Yeah. I try it.

It's just a cinnamon roll. Yeah. Just a cinnamon roll that one. Sticky, cinnamon roll.

Sticky, cinnamon roll. Sticky, cinnamon roll. Okay. So in the morning, what is everybody doing in the morning?

Brush my teeth. There's a halo hanging around my four postbed. No. Is it yours?

Did you borrow it? Not sure. All right. So I know it's not mine.

Yeah. Okay. That was the next lyric. I know.

I was trying to stuffy shut your ass down. It was brutal. I got shut down. I was healing my wound with salt.

All right. So I'm coy. What's everybody doing in the morning? I'll just walk out of my room and breakfast asks what the plan is for today.

Okay. I'm security. I'm seeking out invisible. Go into the shop.

I want to see if I can spy on Jimmy. Okay. You're going in going to the shop. Phalanx, what do you have to do?

I'm going to eat breakfast and everyone know I'm probably going to patrol later. Okay. Wayfarer. This is kind of the first morning where I haven't had to go to Europe for some reason or to like fight someone that I've never met before.

So I might just chill out for a little while before I go on petrol. Okay. Cool. So everybody's taking a kind of ease.

I'm going to hang out and tell James that I'll cycle him off when he's done with the patrol. Oh, cool. Yeah. So we're going to break it if you want to.

All right. So we're going to follow up security right down to Jimmy's auto shop. You're invisible. Hang out in Jimmy's auto shop.

You see good old Jimmy, bald and dude. Some gene overalls, white t-shirt, kind of greasy. He's been working on cars. Apple button jeans.

Yeah. Boots with fur, Apple bottom jeans that come up into suspenders and a messy white t-shirt and a gene hat. A gene hat. Better draw this guy.

His hat is made of denim hat. It's like denim baseball cap. But he also has those boots with the fur, put them on the poster. Yeah.

This is juicy out of the butt. I can't see. Okay. So you see Jimmy.

He's working off the car. There's a couple of younger folk there. Um, like doing oil changes and whatnot. And he accepts everyone on the kid's shoulders.

Like, no, no, what you want to do is just give it to him like pointers and advice. All right. Does he fit the description then of what the girls were saying? Yes.

Okay. He's also got like a really old faded neck tattoo. Seems like he got it a long, long time ago. In a galaxy far, far away.

Is it anything interesting, unique? Um, it's a scorpion. Okay. But it's real faded.

Okay. I mean, is that any, is that symbolic of anything? There used to be a street gang way back in the day called the scorpions. They used to have scorpion neck tattoos, but the gang has long since been disbanded and done away with.

Did they rock like hurricanes? They did. Nice. Nice.

He's just fixing cars to change in headlights, put infuses, driving trans. Dropping trans. Um. Putting in fluid exchangers, changing the brake line.

He's uh, I'm gonna let you keep going with this. I'm making a fan belt. He's making one. Yeah.

He's good. I'm like a lead. Yeah. Yeah.

A rubber lathe. Wow. Does he keep a rubber lathe? That's impressive.

Yeah. Check entire pressure. I'm going to. Spin and axles.

Pushing tyrods. Oh, tyrods, yeah. I am. Okay.

I'm gonna head out. I'm okay. Can I can I retroactively say that I drove the bike there? That's fine.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Um.

I'm gonna go to where my bike is. And I'm going to, um, enter the shop, not invisible. Okay. And see if they will service my bike.

Okay. Are you going in? You're going in as yourself. Yes.

All right. All right. As you drive up into the shop, like the big garage doors, um, everyone in the shop sees you. And Jimmy waves with the kids and they go running into the back as you pull up.

Okay. So does it seem like he recognizes me? Yeah. Okay.

Like he's coming up to talk to you. Okay. All right. All right.

He says, man, was the payment not good enough? I gave you what you wanted. Wait, what are you talking about? The first of all, I'm going to introduce myself.

No, I know who you are. Okay. I don't know who you are. This is part of the game.

What game? You're just trying to mess with my head. Look, I gave you everything I could. I can't afford to give you anymore.

I don't need money. I never asked for money. Yes, you did. I promise you.

I assure you. I don't have anymore. I can't. I can't afford to give you anymore.

I gave you everything I have. Sir, I don't need the money. I will gladly give it back to you. I'm not sure what's going on or, but I, I did, I never asked for money.

You came in here a couple of days ago threatening me and telling me I had to pay you protection because the city was yours. Oh, no. Nope. You absolutely did.

Oh, I believe you think I did. Look, I don't have time for your mind games. Can you just please leave? Well, I'd like to figure this out though.

I, do you have surveillance cameras here? Yes. Might I be able to review them? Oh, the state, where was I, couple of days ago?

Uh, I don't know where were you going to leave the company? I don't know, dealing with the escort deal. Right. If you want to check it out, sure.

Okay. Do you mind if I take the tapes with me? Um, I'll return them. Yeah, sure, fine.

I can get someone from the police station about for me, if you need me to. Okay, sure. Take the tapes, just get out of here. Okay.

I will get your money back to you. Okay. Just leave. All right.

I'm leaving. Leave me with the tapes. All right. Mr.

Jimmy is not happy with me. As you're getting on your bike, there's another shop owner, an older man, who sells wind chimes and he's running out of his stories. Like, man, man. Yes.

He's got like a kind of a crumbled handful of money. He's like, this is like a get together please. Sir, I don't need your money. No, here.

I just please. No, no, no, no. Take it. No, you said if I didn't give it to you, I was in trouble.

That was not me. I don't know. He's like, he's like, he's shoving the money into your pocket. No.

It's like, no, I can't. No, please. And he shows up when he needs your pockets and runs back. Please just leave us alone.

Okay. Well, I'm going to go invisible and then I'm going to sneak up behind him and shove him back in his pockets. Okay. All right.

You get the tech. He's an old man. He's got no tech skills. Okay.

I'm going to go review the tapes. Okay. Where are you going to review the tapes at? Um, back at the base.

All right. You get back to the base. You're reviewing the tapes. It does indeed look like you.

It looks like you pushed, pushed old Jimmy against the wall and I got right up in his face and worked right in him. It doesn't have sound to just visuals. Right. Okay.

I'm going to do a computer search for, here, here's villains, anyone, supers that have like, mimic powers. All right. You come across a lot of like, stretchy boys and stuff like that. They can stretch themselves into mimic abilities.

Just random ones. Is it mostly just stretchy people? Um, actually, yeah. I don't have many many mimic boys.

Okay. Now that I think about it, I'm going to write a note, make, make changelings in it, boy. I have one for free for you. Yeah.

Dr. Kingbird. Oh, okay. Yeah.

There's only just birds. Yeah, there's a dude that can turn into birds. That's about it. It's about it.

It doesn't serve a sea. Dr. Kingbird can turn into other birds. That's about it.

Love people like it turn into animals. There's that. There's that in spades, but yeah, which is general shape shifting. There's not a whole lot of it.