Amberville Heroes #86

Hello and welcome to another episode of Amberville City Heroes. I am your game, my Strow Meestro Mustard. Happy Puke and I am here today with four fantastical beasts and where they come from is here. First we have Hauntie Daunty James playing Phalanx.

I didn't see that movie. The Hauntie Daunty? I don't think they made Hauntie do a movie. Fantastic little beasts.

It's why Harry Potter can't like Hauntie Daunty. Yeah. He dunks him like a basketball in the Royal Quidditchu for a fucking hard work. Fantastic.

Did all the Kingsmen try to put him together. Yeah. About the horses. That's why there's a second part of the movie.

Fufu running through the force we have, Geezle playing Wayfair. I will also pop you on the head. Yeah. I'm a rough customer.

Fight me. We have Jack going up the hill to get a pail of water Shannon playing obscurity. Oh, you switched it up like last minute. We were thinking it was going to be Jake but it wasn't.

We have the Velveteen Bunny soft to the... Jai Jake play. Dr. Dude Daddias.

It's not like a story about a kid with leukemia or something. Scarlet Fever. Scarlet Fever. Okay.

I'm here to help you when you're dying. Sorry I had a replica of Velveteen Bunny when I was a kid and I saw that movie and it made me incredibly sad and I think it's all been the fact that I can't throw myself down. So now I have a closet full of stuffed animals since the day I was born. Oh, see I think that makes sense.

I got a completely different interpretation of that which is that vaccines are huge mistake because children learn so much by being sick. But they threw away the bunny and then another... like a magic witch made the bunny a real life bunny. Yeah, that's right because she was like, you know what, you've done your good job.

You've taught this kid about how free market economic works and now he's going to grow up to be a powerful and healthy child with polio. Now looking back on it, Velveteen Bunny was an anti-vax movement. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. If you don't get shots then you'll become a real boy. What's it like to let us know what happened in the last episode? Please God.

Someone let us have a nose. I have an on the last episode of Amberless City. Here's please. Please get your shots.

Are we doing the typical thing we've done from now on? Yeah. James, read your notes. Yes.

See how much it says to make this week. I proofread my notes. Oh, did you? A couple lines and they make no sense to me.

So I hope the listeners are on board. They make no sense to you pre-editing or posting. Yeah, we'll find out. All right.

So, 1226 part two for me since it was the second episode. Okay. Yeah. So, we've got the fascinating combination.

I think of Marcus. It was an attempt. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you investigate a new disease obsessively? I don't even know what disease that is. This is a solid fever. Yeah.

What's another word for Scarlet Crimson? The Crimson Fever. Why do you need to get our copy rights? What's fever to every mother?

I'm trying. Crimson cold is going to be a new villain. Ooh. Nice.

All right. Alright, Wayfare helps our workers at the farm. I don't know how or what it's doing. But helped.

I wrote it down. I worked with the militia on the defensive mayor. Yeah, train those people. Skated.

Shutterbug website has a lot of info on the assassination attempts. Who's the shutterbug person? I ask asks access to investigate because the shutterbug person is annoying. There's a robbery at the jewelry store, the jewelry store.

Apparently there's only one in Amberville. The perps are wearing green cloaks. All the thieves except the one of security, knock out, commit suicide when we catch them. Part of the cult of Drake.

Yep, that Drake. I wrote that down. Obscurity and where for a play good cop bad cop against the captured jewel thief. He tries to kill himself actually.

I forge an alliance with Bologna. Obscurity finally makes soup for due to Ed. I have no idea what that means. I like how it's finally.

Finally. Finally. We've been episode sorry. This plot thread has been going for a long time.

Obscurity quick picks Marcus about God stuff with glasses and freckles, filters, the important things. Marcus says he doesn't have time for gods. Obscurity summons Tom Cochran to talk affairs. Drake is as close to Godhood as his followers are to believing he is one.

And then Shutterbug is in our house. Those were so coherent. Yeah. I'm glad you do.

I do not. Sorry, James. I thought they were good notes. I'm sticking to it.

It's funny how when I read these like the episode kind of puzzles itself back together. In your mind. In my mind. We're in James' mind palace right now.

Here's a fun list. It's the only jewelry store. The only jewelry store. The only one.

It's Canada. So whether you are all in the base and Shutterbug, staying on the ceiling. Are we all in the same room? Yeah, you're eating soup together.

In my armed. Oh God, don't. Are you usually armed when you're at the table eating soup? I'm always armed.

Then why do you even need to ask your arms as you're the GM and you are God? Well, man, we're starting on. We're starting on a high. This is the first recording of the night, folks.

And we're already here. You're all. This is mid episode two level of idiocy. We are right off the fucking bat.

I say to you always read the bar. I'm going to assume my spears lean up against the wall. Yeah, it's close by. I'm pulling out my glides.

Okay, you can pull out your glides. I'm going to be like, what are you doing here? I got word that you were looking for me. I was so I stopped by.

Okay, how'd you get in? I snuck in. I'm sneaky. Those are my wolves.

The bike's not going to pick up the dog. That's absurd. Yeah, does she not have a smell? A smell?

You can't seem to smell it at the moment. All right. I don't know. There's wolves everywhere.

I'm assuming they would have smelled someone trying to sneak out. They apparently did not. I don't know if you have all the soup, but it's entirely done sealing. Oh, thank you.

I'm not hungry anyway. But I appreciate the offer. So what's the word? What are you doing?

I'm here because I got the message through my blog that somebody was looking for me. So I thought I would stop by. Which one of you was somebody? I don't know.

Somebody messaged me through some sort of private connection via my blog and texted me that they wanted. The interview was looking for me. So I decided to show up. Okay.

I'm going to have an access. Oh, okay. I was going to look around and see which one of you had done that. He's definitely not me.

No. So I'm here. Hi. I'm on camera.

Yeah. Why were you there? Because I consider myself a bit of a journalist. Okay.

When things happen, I, you know, stop by and take pictures. I put them on my blog. So you were at the... I'm going to get a lot of clicks.

I got a lot of assation. Well, I heard gunshots happening and I thought, you know what? That might be something worth taking pictures of because people got to know. You know?

It's what I do. Okay. Are you upset that I was taking pictures of something happening in public and letting the people know that people were shooting? I guess it was more of we didn't see you and we were there.

Also, you were very close. I'm very sneaky. And we have a door that is knockable when we're in there. We don't mind if you just go up and do that.

I think we're just going to throw off by the fact that you're in the ceiling. Oh. In our house. I'm sorry.

No, it's not a problem. It's just, you know, hey, let's work together. That's all. We could talk and figure things out.

I'm not going to try. What do you need my help with? I'm just sneaking pictures. I don't.

Are you taking pictures of us right now? No, you can see me. I mean, my camera is in my hand, but I'm not currently taking pictures now. Also, my eyes do that automatically all the time.

Weird. That's a flex, I guess. I'm not a flex. It's more like if you had a problem with it.

Sorry. You have any pictures you didn't post? Yeah, one that were too blurry or bad. I mean, I take a lot of pictures and I post the best ones.

So there's going to be some weeds to be separated from the chaff. All right. Or just not figure out who attacked the mayor. Oh, I don't know much about that.

I was just taking pictures of the action. I posted most of the action ones I got. I didn't follow anybody. Maybe I should have, but I was just trying to journal things.

Do you people pay for pictures? They pay me through clicks. So I put them on the website and then I get AdSpace and AdSense and then people click through and then the blog gets popular and then people buy it. Do you like living in such as?

I do, yes. Because I want to buy your chaff. You want to buy all my blurry shitty pictures? Right.

Because we're trying to look into this investigation attempt and even though they may not be worth picking or like posting, they may not be worth posting. Like we could look through them, maybe see find more evidence. I mean, you would really have much more motivation to do that in the moment, but we definitely do now and I have a lot of computers. Is this like an ongoing thing you want to do?

I mean, I suppose if there's another assassination attempt, but I mean, this one, I think it's pretty specific. So you just want the chat. The other photos. You want the other photos.

Yeah. I want you to pay for it. I want to pay for it. How much are you offering?

I don't know what's your answer. Okay. Yeah. Just give me a number and yeah.

This is up to the ceiling. Yeah. I guess I'll call your accountant. We'll work out a deal and then I'll email you the he's going to pay too well and I don't know what normal people money is.

So I'm not the best person. That's fine. I guess. And she she lowers a business card on a little string down to you guys.

She's like, I guess if you ever need, you know, headshots or like family photos for Christmas cards, I mean, I also shoot weddings and I do some nature photography. It doesn't really usually make my blog. It's more personal stuff. I do nature photography.

I do headshots and family photos, Christmas stuff. Do they know you're taking the photos when you do portraits? Yeah. Because people pay me specifically.

I'm a piece of paper. Oh, I didn't say you weren't. I just, if you're things stealth, I just wondered if you like wedding crash and mail them photos later. No, I don't do that.

Just for the, just for the journalism piece to do that. Okay. You know, just for the parts where like people are actively trying to kill each other, not interested in getting attacked personally. Do you guys do Christmas card or I mean, I know Christmas is a little bit past.

We could. Okay. If you need, if you need like photos of you guys, like put on your website, I've never seen your guys website. No, we don't have a website.

You should give a whole website. That's the thing. You go to Coast Data, right? Oh, sorry, host crack.

You go to host crack and then you get a website and you let me know. I'll take a lot of real classy shots. We'll put some valentine staples. Yeah, that's good.

Are you going to do dating each other? No, not each other. Can I, can we get a group shot right now? Um, sure.

What do you want to go over the couch? You're just, you guys eating soup or? All of it. Eating soup on the couch.

I don't know. Your, your, your pages don't seem to be that into the soup eating. I'm grabbing them. Let's go.

What kind of soup is it? What do we decide? Yeah. Something.

All right. So, uh, there were potatoes. You get potatoes. You guys, uh, you guys take a bunch of pictures with, um, shutter bug.

She gives you guys good. Arms around each other. Yeah. She moves a couple of lamps and takes off lampshades to get some light.

Yeah, I am all about this. She takes some good pictures. And she's like, I guess I'll be back if you need anything else. I'll send you the pictures in an email.

I'll give her my email. All right. So you're just going to be around? Um, yeah.

Man, just a girl living in city. Okay. We've got your card. So, yeah, I guess there's another app and snance where you post pictures.

We might want them. Bye bye. I'm going to be getting the scutterers out of the building. In a way.

What a delightfully weird girl. Yeah. Nice. Just take pictures.

I guess we probably look into her blog and or. Yeah. It's to make sure we're not partnering with like a work on. It's your department.

It is. Okay. I'll take a look here in the internet. Twitter.

I am the internet sucks. I'll take care of this. I'll go do some research on shadow, but I'm going to read your posts. Okay.

Like I said before, she seems pretty much unbiased. I don't think she posted pretty like, here's what factually happened. Are they very super here related or is it just like other stuff? Um, most of the stuff on shutter bugs, personal like the one under the shutter block.

I don't know. I think it's pretty cool. I look, I'll lean back. She's pretty good.

Everything's down the line. There's nothing that looks compromising or that might put anyone in danger with these photos. I don't know. I mean, it's all out there.

How about news headlines or anything like that? I mean, like that. For my newspaper or something. There's a new.

I mean, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure.

I'm sure. It's all around. The Steam Xbox X which was so iconic or something it's like there's a new camera girl in town. Shutterwatch vlog is the hottest ticket in each other.

It seems relatively under the radar is191 as like popular as goes but there is kind of an internet buzz so there's like some Twitter mentions of it especially with like an Kickstarter guys or that kind of community. The superhero fan community. super hero chaser guys right right. Obscurities, foot pictures and shit.

Yeah, yeah, there aren't obscurity. Feet pics. Yeah. The best shutter bug has it specifically put any obscurity feet pics on the internet.

There are some but they're mostly amateur. Is there a large request? It seems like there is but the gold is pre robot legs. I was going to say do they realize that I have robot feet?

So like the robot feet there are pictures of that but nobody seems super interested in it. Everyone's really interested in like pre robot leg foot pictures of obscurity. No, I'm going to go like search in search for what on the internet. No, just my own personal.

Oh, you're going to try to find your own personal feet pics. Any pictures that have my feet in them. From like your entire history like from baby picks up or like no, I mean like legal. OK.

It's like all your like you hanging out with your sorority girls. Yeah. Which no shoes on that kind of stuff. Look at my toes and flip.

Yeah, that kind of so OK. That's what you're doing for a while. Because I think of your view as the kind of person take a lot of pictures. Yeah, I know you said that like why we dedicated so much of this episode.

You said the robot legs work popular, but there's got to be like one guy who's like crushed my skull. Yeah, no, they're pissed in legs. Yeah, I'm just talking about like mass demand like that one dude. But he's not like a pay pick or anything.

So you're not going to get a whole lot of them. You just the road you wanted to go down. I did not start this super wiki fee. It's super wiki fee.

Yeah. All right. So is there anything that paints us in a bad light from where from? No, I'm from shut or bug.

No, OK. No, it's nothing specifically biased. A lot of it's just like here was the action that happened and then describes like so it's just me stabbing someone. Not specifically.

No. OK, that's good. He probably should be. No, he doesn't seem like there's any stuff on this.

Like he pieces or anything like that. OK, so we're going to go forward in time a little bit. What are people going to be doing? Let's start with the security.

I know that you're doing your photos. Are you doing anything else in the coming time? How is Sparta Marcus? Sparta Marcus is pretty good.

He's like they're working on reinforcing the situation at Town Hall and beefing up security, but he's like he's far more occupied with like legislation and salmon ladders. Same. He does salmon ladders though. He has one stall in his office.

He's saying I know. Anyway, he also talking a lot about the sports arena being built. He says that wasn't like pork belly spending. And it was a big waste of money, but it was already in ocean for he got an office and I wish I'd stop it.

But I can't a lot of that. OK, I'm going to try to set up a lunch date with him. All right. He gladly accepts lunch date.

His his goth GF. Am I goth now? Goth. Oh, no, it was just it was I don't know.

I can try this. No, I'm not here. Black. No, eyeliner is still still wearing the pink.

But I mean, like we're moving forward. So yeah, he said up a lunch date. He seems to be doing well. Are you doing anything particularly for yourself or any investigation?

Do I have toes? Yes, you have toes. I have robot toes. Yeah, you are a one.

Toes. I'm going to schedule a pedicure, please. OK, moving on. Dr.

Doo dad. He's going to schedule photos of me stepping in a can of jam. You want to get a pedicure with me? OK, so the whole hero can.

So like, you know what? We're done with this. We're going to start selling free pants. We've got the rarest feet of all where you've seen those chips before.

Alien feet. Alien feet. I stopped. So fine.

Sure. This is what heroes and actually is. You want to bonus content, you're saving all those hot nuts. Oh, yeah.

From from their from their from their meaty prison. All right, so this is all staying in. Oh, you need my phone. You were like, I wish I had more stuff to keep after the cycle for the Patreon people.

And we're giving all this gold. Yeah, I mean, this is the show now. Future Shannon, if you could make a note, it's OK to cut out the part where we talk about dudes jizzing on Wayfarers feet. No, it's not.

It's important to my character's development. Dr. Doo dad, what are you up to? I'm going to say that I'm going to keep investigating the same magical item that I get that I crack open and get myself a time disease.

But before I do that, I'm going to take a little cactus. I'm going to set it next to my computer station. Oh, I'm going to talk to it. And I'm going to say, this is who you can hang out with when you come see with me.

Now I'm going to go crack open this magical amulet. And if you decide to give me another disease, I'm going to expect you to get me out of it. Catch later, buddy. OK.

I'm going to start poking on this amulet to see if I get any more information on it. I just want to figure out how to define magic and weigh and measure it. OK, you are doing that. What does it have to do with a cactus?

The the god that visited Dr. Doo dad, like it grows out of organic matter. Oh, like when it appears. So you're trying to grow them out of a cactus.

Well, I said, I'm going to sell it and became a flesh blob and it was really creepy. So yeah, he can be a little cactus. That's fine. And organic matter and then bubbles and boils out of it.

So yeah, last time it was really messy because it wrote a bunch of science samples. Right? No, you gave me a turbo disease. No, it was killed the planet.

Right? No, that's what he did. But then he also like he grew out of stem cells and all bubbly. Yeah, I had a little piece of stem cell and he said he grew into like a nine foot tall flesh blob.

And I was like, this would be a cool thing to not happen. Yeah, he was. Yeah, so he was like a messically not bad. So you're doing that spend a lot of time in your lab working in lab.

Wayfare. What are you up to? I haven't heard from a government contact and probably a while and starting to weird me out a little bit. So we'll call him and see if he actually picks up.

He does not. OK, I don't quite like that. Maybe I will try to go and click around in the news and see if I can find anything out about that space anomaly that Wendy glued me into a while ago. All the thing way out by Saturn.

Yeah, that thing. OK, there's a few people looking up to the sky. Sky gazers, like Skylanders, but it's different. They're stargazers.

They collected. If you click on the star gazers, you can put them on your Nintendo Wii. But you look at the sky gazers websites and people are tracking the object. It doesn't seem like a lot of governments have weighed in on it, but it is a large object traveling towards both.

OK, is it closer than one of us, maybe? Yes. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Indeed. Oh, predictable. Yes, it is still traveling. It's traveling pretty slow.

It's almost like it's on a course for Earth. It's almost like it's waiting for a plot to be in a certain place so that I can actually. Yeah. Amazing.

Yeah. OK, it's moving at plot speed. OK, I guess that's convenient because we're kind of on a B plot right now with something. Yeah, yeah.

I guess we're not in an end of nature. Not plots. We've been real sidetracked by F plots. Yeah, it's still traveling towards Earth.

I'm sure. Yeah, we're on foot plots. Yeah. OK, I guess the last thing I'm going to be working on is seeing if anybody else has seen anything from Bose and Beta.

All right. There's like random scattered reports, but there's not much evidence or ability to track where he's going or what he's doing. There is a lot of movement on one of the people that you know by this point are in his crew. The one named Kukoffany has shown up a few more places.

OK, that seems bad. Where has he been hanging out at? He's kind of been like Hill up here places and then like kind of ravaged the place like science labs and astrology. It seems like he's trying to attack places that view deep space or like satellite arrays and stuff like that.

He's trying to like, hobble communications kind of and just kind of seems like random and sporadic where he hits. Like, he'll like appear in Nevada and start just destroying satellite arrays or like appear in Texas and start like smashing long-range communication devices. Wow. It's almost like somebody doesn't want us to know what's actually happening in space.

Maybe a little bit. Wow. He's being a real dick about it. Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah. OK, that was all I was really after. All right. And you got it.

OK, right. What are you up to? I'm going to continue to train the militia and I'd like to phone up our old protege, Ruby, the red whatever her name is now. All right.

You are able to. She you know she is living out in one of the on a month appears sub bases and you are able to call her. Nice. She goes by crash now crash.

Yeah. OK. She's like, I'm a long time. We have to just stroll in the city.

Nice. I'm doing it right. I mean, I'm almost over the fact that my parents got murdered, but yeah, sorry about that. I've been getting a lot of super hero training.

That's good. And clank is not my legal guardian, I guess. Clank. Do I know clank?

Yeah. Clank came and was in your city when Robi Bo reds parents were murdered. That's good. Yeah.

Pretty good. Yeah. Do you remember that plot when the circus people attacked? I do remember that.

Robi Bo red accidentally paralyzed the twin of a girl and the girl then ran away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

This is tragic. Just like any hero is back story. Yep. In the end, it's going to make her a better here.

That's right. I just like that scene. Right folks. I was like, yeah, you'll look back at the time.

Your parents were slaughtered for no, but really enjoy it. Oh my god. I'm breathing noise and. I don't know.

I'm just calling to see how she's doing. She seems fine. I've been training going. She's in kind of high spirit.

Some training is going well down. A lot of people have a training regimen and they're doing good. What city is she in? Topaz.

Topaz. Heights. It's opacity. Yeah, sorry.

I love it. Topazity. It's kind of clear, but not really. It's got a little bit of a yellowish orange issue.

Yeah. I'll see all the way through it, but he gets about 90% of that. Okay. I'll wish her well.

Okay. Tell her I'm thinking of her. Okay. She thinks you have some small object.

That's not as special as usual. All right. I'm so glad Failing scares about her because I know she really liked me. She's a poor girl.

I'm glad Failing likes her. Yeah. She was kind of shunned by her hero, so that was good. I did not.

I'd never shunned her. No, no. I tried to shunned her. She was trying to take my name.

All right. So. She talked a lot. She did.

So one of your shifts comes up. I'm scared. At the all we have is fritters. Yeah.

All we always tell is fritters. The store called all we sell is fritters. One of your overnight shifts where you're supposed to make a bunch of fritters for the next day. Okay.

Comes up. Do you go to your shift? Of course. Okay.

Give me a making fritters role. Oh God, please bless for. All right. You're making some all right fritters.

You feel like you're in the. Fate point, please. Oh, I doubted myself and I'm doing worse now. Yeah.

It seemed like you were doing good and then you started, started falling off. You felt like you almost had a break of inspiration and then you added too much cumin and it tastes like shit. Oh, cool. Spicy fritters.

Spicy fritters. Yes. Cool. It's not spicy.

I've had this thing lately where like anytime I want to insult something I say that it's cumin and I don't know why but earthy taste. I know I guess I've got like a. I guess I've got a. I just got a thing against cumin lately.

Yeah. My favorite donut is like ground beef and sour cream. I like why did a jelly donut have a ground beef and chili. Chili cream.

Just kidding. You're really. Just imagine a twinkie but the inside is just a tamale. I think the mind is just like a blob of spinach.

It's just a little. I guess it's as good as anything. Really? I mean there are cream cheese donuts.

It's fucking different. All right. Cream cheese. Chili cheese.

Cheese. Cream cheese chunky beef is all the same. Sounds like a Taco Bell menu. I say she's brought to you by Taco Bell.

My donut is our so-so. Would you like to roll another one for all these else fritters? Yes. All right.

Roll me another fritter make. Oh I'm getting worse. It's late in your shift. I'm trying to get better and I'm doing bad.

I'm overthinking this fritter business. Would you would you like to roll again one more shot? Yep. Okay.

I'm getting a little better. Yeah. You feel like you feel like a twinge of inspiration coming from the oven. Are they oven or the baker?

They fried. They're fried. So from the fryer you feel like this this a calming effect. A calming warm goodness happening.

Okay. Relax. And the fryer starts to bubble in a warm glowing light pores out of the fryer onto your face. You feel you feel at home and you feel like that you're craft of fritter making has never been at it's better and you get some delicious inspiration.

Good. I hope it's just a warm light not like actual oil from the fryer. No, you're not. You're not being sprayed by oil.

Even one dreams might come scenario where you're just cooking fritters for seven hours because she's not even a grease fire. So I'm scared as you're working your midnight shift at the fritter store. Like this wave of inspiration comes over you and you like it feels like you can't even troll your body and you're making these good fritters and taco fritters. Yeah, they're not taco fritters.

These ones are perfectly balanced. They in like you just know they're going to be amazing. And as you're working, oh me at perception. Oh, okay.

All right. Wait, what is perception under? Notice. It's got a one.

You got a one. All right. So as you're working, it almost feels like there are hands over your hands guiding you. Tom sexy.

It does not feel like Tom. Does not feel like Tom. It is an unfamiliar feel. Yes.

It's unfamiliar. But welcome. Yeah. I guess if you're welcoming, making some of the best fritters ever made.

Yes. Absolutely. Okay. So you're working in a fit of madness, making some of the fritter frenzy.

Fritter. I'm writing that down right now. So dough is flying and oil is spurting and the delicious ingredients are filled to perfection. And then you craft these amazing fritters.

And then when they're finally done and you're looking at your beautiful creations, you see that there's somebody been standing behind you working your hands like Patrick Swayze and ghost the whole time. Jesus. Well, no, Jesus is in our car because he needs to take the wheel back home. Is somebody different?