Anatomy of Codependency Series: Fawning - What It Is And How It Causes Codependency Revisited

Therapists and self-help will often tell you that codependency is the problem and is what requires healing, but here's why that is wrong:  Codependency is actually a result of a deep biological threat response in the body called "the Fawn Response".  This response is triggered by chornically unsafe, unstable relationships that a person cannot separate themselves from without fearing for their survival in some way.Specifically, their body feels their sense of safety, connection, or worth is at risk if they try to advocate for themselves, such as saying no, confronting problems, speaking up for themselves, having boundaries, or even simply being their own selves.This is why codependency is a SYMPTOM - not the problem.  Fawning manifests itself in classic codependent behaviors, including:1) Creating discomfort in your world to hopefully please the feelings of an abusive or neglectful spouse, partner, friend, or parent (or avoid upsetting them)2) Assuming responsibility for their emotional reactions and responses to anything3) Focusing on their emotional regulation at the expense of yours4) People-pleasing5) Fixing or rescuing people from their problems6) Attempting to control their choices so you feel comfortable7) Denying your discomfort, complaints, pain, needs, and wants8) Changing your preferences to align with theirsThese behaviors come from somatic impulses, including:- feelings of affection towards an aggressor- smiling at a perpetrator- feeling small, demour, or submissive to a person- feeling sensations of anxiety, fear, and attraction towards a person- sense of guilt and sorrow in response things that are not harmful or hurtful In our next episode, learn the 3 Necessities must be restored to your daily life for your body to stop fawning and start advocating instead.***Join my email community to get access to more episodes, tools, my writings, and more here: https://connect.freetheself.comJoin my Facebook community for more guidance, tools, and my insights: https://community.freetheself.comFollow me on Facebook, Youtube, Instagram, TikTok, and my podcast here: https://links.freetheself.com***[The The Essential Codependency Healing Trainings Is Back! We Start September 24, 2023]Stop codependency and ignite your natural inner advocate by healing the fawn response.  I help you achieve this through my 8-week program, The Essential Codependency Healing Trainings.  You are gently guided in nurturing more safety, more connection, and more self-worth while reducing your distress, panic, and pain with practices that take around 5-10 minutes a day to complete.This program is for you if:- You struggle to say no and keep it- You struggle with shame or guilt for saying no- You constantly question your own worth- You find yourself pleasing others when you really want to be doing other things- You are stuck in your efforts to feel more freedom, more peace, more restNone of these struggles are your fault. They're the struggles that show up when you don't have the right knowledge, right tools, or right support for your healing. Come learn the knowledge, tools, and support that creates real healing, real peace, and real freedom in your life.We start Sunday, September 24, 2024.Course is 8 weeks long (8 live classes, 2 pre-recorded modules).Class is at 12:00pm, Mountain Time.You get lifetime access to the recordings and to the live classes for this course.$297 is the investment (3-month payplan available).Get your seat here: https://echt.freetheself.com