and I choose to blame the solution for the problem

It is from instances such as this that I come to realise my fault to be deeper than my own skin. For sin itself blinds me from seeing that I am wretched to think that GOD doesn't love me to save me from the deepest hurting. It is scripture that shows to me that I stand in the way of my own healing, I push the Healer away, I refuse the healing, I choose to be lesser and I choose to blame the solution for the problem.