Hey, hey remarkable people! This is Tracy Robbins and you are listening to Thy Neighbor Podcast. This podcast is designed to inspire you to expand your community, to connect more often with those who are in your path, and of course, to love Thy Neighbor as myself. You will hear from individuals in my day-to-day life who are crushing it and making the world a more lovely place to inhabit.
Hello, this is Tracy Robbins and I have my friend and someone I deeply admire Andrea McKee with me today and she's going to kick off telling us a little bit about herself and her life motto. So, my life motto is no better time than now and I've lived by this for a very long time. And I think because I have seen some people in my life have regrets, I have chosen to live a life where I don't want to have regrets. Therefore, when I'm presented with opportunities, I try to take them.
And I try to be really interested in challenges and taking challenges and doing things that stretch me and growing me out of my comfort zone. These are very deliberate things that I think about when I presented with opportunities. So, in regards to discomfort, how do you lean into the discomfort? Because those things make me feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, so discomfort is just something I coach myself through. If I am going to an event that I know I'm going to have to talk to people, networking, I can tell you pretty much no one likes networking. You go to an event and if you don't have a wing person, which you probably shouldn't because I know we're talking to them the whole time, where we'll be comfortable with them the whole time. Probably won't meet as many people.
I try to go just alone and then I try to meet people. And it's hard sometimes. I'm a pretty outgoing person. I don't have a problem talking to people.
But to approach a stranger and try to figure out how to talk to them can sometimes be terrifying. That's what may be the most, you're afraid of, like I'm afraid sometimes of being judged for whatever reason. And so, if I can just kind of let go of that and focus on them and what they do and what they're passionate about, I think sometimes it takes a pressure off of me feeling like I'm going to this networking event. That's just one example of me getting out of my comfort zone.
And I'm curious about what do you coach yourself through? Can you tell me something that may be a dialogue or a conversation that you have with yourself? Yeah. So I'm also a singer-songwriter and my stage name is Andrea Belita, the E-L-I-T-A if you want to check out my music.
I have an album out. But I have a song that I haven't actually produced yet, but it's on YouTube and it's called You Can Do This. And I wrote that song for a specific cousin with an experience that she had. But I say that to myself all the time.
That's the reason that I was inspired to write that song. It's because I tell myself frequently, like you can do this. You've got this Andrea. And I just say that before I go to an event or if I don't want to do something, I think why wouldn't you do that?
Like are you missing out on an opportunity if you don't go? Or if you don't do this thing, like when you look back and think, I should have just done that. I hate that feeling. And so I try to avoid it.
And I try to think enough ahead of time so I don't have that feeling after. So can you give me an example of a time where you didn't do that? Yes. And it was a recent one and it still bugs me.
So I live in Denver, Colorado. And we have me and my team, two of us, we just started a company called Limelight, O-Y-M-L-I-G-H-T. And I've been looking for opportunities to get the word out about it. And Denver started a week, happened last year and I went.
And it's actually the largest free start-up week in the nation about 17,000 people registered to go. And I was told last year after I talked to the organizers, they said, you should apply to do this next year to be a speaker. And I was like, okay, yeah, I love that idea. And so this year came around.
And I'm five months, almost five months pregnant. I'm doing it in October. I started a week since September. And I don't know what I was thinking except that I don't know, like as a woman, maybe I thought I wouldn't be taking it seriously if I was eight months pregnant if they're standing and talking about my company.
I have no idea why I thought that. But it was just a moment of insecurity and I missed the deadline. And it was because I had this insecurity. And it was so afterward, like literally, as soon as the deadline closed, I'm like, what was I thinking?
Like, why didn't I do that? And I still feel regret to this day. I think like, there are moments that I just, if I just took them, then I wouldn't, then I could find ways to empower myself through whatever the insecure moments were, you know? Like, it's okay.
And there are women who need to see other women who are eight months pregnant doing hard things. 100%. And so I feel like I lost an opportunity to show other women that they can. Right.
And I think that most of us in regards to our who we are as people is that we want to show that we can do things no matter the circumstance or the situation we are currently in. Right? And I think that that's a really powerful story though, Andrea. And there's a lot to be learned from that moment.
And it's hard to tell it because I'm, I feel embarrassed by that story, you know? But obviously there's no reason for me to feel embarrassed. It's just okay, don't let that happen again. Right.
And those vulnerable moments are all things we and those moments where we disappoint ourselves. We can all relate. We can all relate to those things that, I mean, that's what makes you authentic and makes you relatable, right? Because the rest of us are like, we, we've done that.
We've been in those situations where we didn't take our chances. Yeah. I did a showcase and I didn't save the recording properly. And I spent all this money on it.
Yeah. And I lost that file. Okay. We're moving on.
We're not going to let that happen again. Right. And I think that that is crucial. That pain is so educational.
It is. Oh my gosh. That is. Fortunately, fortunately, because there will be bigger opportunities will come up and you better be prepared like for those.
Yeah. And so I guess my question is the opportunity that those have come. So tell me about a time where you did take initiative. Yeah.
So, okay. I have so many actually, but everything from running a marathon to doing a triathlon and I'm like the worst swimmer and I thought I was going to drown like three times and thankfully the lifeguards came and saved me. But I mean, I didn't have to get out of the water, but they just made sure I wasn't going to draw to starting a company and to making an album at 30, you know, or to doing a house concert tour for two weeks, you know, getting out of my comfort zone and inviting people to host me at their house for their friends. And just like I have had so many and or like, you know, serving mission for my church, being the only one of my family who went to college and graduated and got a master's and just, there are so many things that I have decided like this life is so short and I have to do things that make me comfortable and I sometimes I seek out uncomfortable opportunities just because I know they're going to help me grow.
So I feel like this is just listening to you kind of recount things that you've chosen. I would say more than that moment of I didn't take this opportunity. I feel like you've taken away more. Yeah.
You know what I mean? So I almost feel like you have to rejoice and celebrate. You do take many of the opportunities that are given to you and you do move into discomfort as a young mother and somebody who specifically has priorities with your, you know, your little boy and and have a team and so we love him. But I think that in regards to that situation, how have you not made excuses to not pursue your dreams?
Yeah. So I think first of all, I married a man who was incredibly supportive of whatever it was I wanted to do and I think that's the starting place because being with somebody who loves you and believes in you and is support going to support you through everything and find a way to figure out whatever happens and whatever opportunities come is just it's a gift and one worth waiting for. So and we found out each other, you know, in our early 30s. You know, I'm getting close to my 30s.
But yeah, so that I would say was like the beginning and I felt like me defining myself right before him gave me a chance to kind of believe that I could dream and do whatever I wanted and then he and I just decided that, you know, we'd seen too many of our friends kind of like get married and settle into suburban family life and, you know, TV is the thing you do in the evening and you know, you go to work, mom stays home, you know, mom does all the like, just like the kind of like the separation of roles, you know, from the 50s. We're like, you know, we're in the 21st century and I'm like, it's okay. We got this together. Like, so he, we just, we clean the house together for an hour every week.
We deep clean it. We go grocery shopping together or he goes, you know, and during the day when my little son is napping, I'm working vigorously on my project. I found a way to take my son to a really great little childcare for two hours, which is my gym, but they have like an actual childcare opportunity. So an hour and a half to two hours every day, like I got that extra time to work on my life.
But then I tried that to make that time with him, you know, really meaningful that I, that when he and I are just home, like hanging out and he's not sleeping. So it's, um, we just decided we didn't want to be like boring. So exciting. All of us have, all of us have the sphere of being boring.
Maybe not all of us are like, Oh, my life is boring. Like, how can I enhance? And I think you can. That's the thing that's absolutely, you can take control.
There's so much you can do. And that book, I don't know. I think I told you about the one that says girl wash your face. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. I feel like I need to reference her in her book. I feel like she says like, you're, this is your life. And you get to see what you did or did not do.
And you will, you'll be more happy with the things that you did than with the things that you just decided not to do because of XYZ or cultural norm or whatever. And so, um, we travel a lot. We've been on a plane five times in the last three months. I've never traveled that much, but it's been like, we just, we work it out.
Like my husband's home with my son, you know, I, um, you know, he's working from home for day or whatever while I'm doing this. And it's just, we just find a way to work it out. And which I think is crucial and I love that you give props, of course, to Nick. Because he's amazing.
We all know that Nick is amazing. Um, I know Nick is amazing, but I think that you, you, you chose a partner, a life partner that was going to help you fly. Yeah. And I want to help him fly.
So we just like, we want to give each other the wings that each of us need. Right. And I think that that is, uh, very empowering to see and just witness like, these are two people who have chosen to live a life that they really want to be excited about. A life that they love.
Exactly. Yes. And we take our son, he's been, I mean, he had his passport at like three months and you know, like, we just decided we didn't, like we're going to national, we want to go to these places. He's going to come along, you know, and there's just, there's, I mean, I've heard some of my friends, I've heard people say like, Oh yeah, you know, we haven't been on a trip for a long time.
We have a two year old or whatever. It's like, I don't know why that's an excuse, but whatever your priorities are, that's different. If you're making excuses for it, you don't have an excuse. If that's not your priority, then just say it's not your priority, you know, just, um, just be clear about what it is that you're like, own whatever your path is.
I love that. I love that owning your path. Because I think some people may listen to this and think, well, that's not what I want. Well, that's great.
You don't want to want that. There's a judgment here. Most empowering is to say, well, if you do want it, there is a way. Yeah.
Yes. There is a way. Yeah. Because there's no better times than now.
Yeah. No better time. I mean, there just doesn't. Right.
And I think that Rachel Hollis and that book is one of the things I loved about it was that she's like, go now, go and when you finish this book, I want you to do something now, right now, about that dream you've always wanted or about that thing you wanted to do or those whatever it is. Just go now. Don't wait. And I think we all realize that we, if we would have started like the greatest, you know, what is that quote, sex, the best time to plant a tree was like 20 years ago.
And the second best time is now. Yes. Yes. And I will also speak to the power of manifesting, manifesting because my company, LimeLight, can I give a quick reminder?
Yeah. Yeah. So LimeLight is a web platform that connects, so that connects performers, like people, like musicians, for example, with people who have space, like living rooms, backyards, rooftops, barns, whatever, they create a show and then people can buy tickets to those shows through a platform. And we are just wanting to create experiences.
We want people to have meaningful live show experiences in unique spaces. And I think that that, for me, LimeLight took two years from conception to launch, exactly actually to the month. And those two years were a struggle because I didn't know how to build the platform that I envisioned. I didn't have the skills.
I tried a couple of times doing it myself because I'm pretty tech savvy. But I am not a software engineer and I didn't have the skills. And once I knew exactly what I wanted, I said, I want, I want a co-founder who I'm willing to give equity to. And I want that person to be a software engineer.
I decided that I would, like, once I decided that that's what I wanted, then I went looking for it and I could look for it in a different way. And I found her not too long after that. And I feel like it was once I knew what I wanted, that I was able to actually get what I wanted. So I hear this a lot in motivational worlds, in success world.
I hear that if you do not know what you want, you will never manifest it in regards that you have to get clear about what you want. And I will be the first to admit that that is something I delay. I delay clarity. And I wonder, delay and clarity is just a form of procrastination in reality.
But I also wonder how do you kind of get there? Yeah. Well, I think that it's very common for us to be unclear about what we want because sometimes we can't see what we want. Sometimes it is just completely unclear.
We have an idea. Like maybe it's, I want to start a business, but I don't know what. Okay, we'll list your top three passions. Then say, okay, well, what can I do to like start moving in one direction?
And then the biggest thing is just move in a direction. Once you start moving in that direction, you will get an idea if it's the direction you need to keep going or if you need to try one of those other two ideas. Then once or maybe do a couple at a time, maybe pursue a couple at a time, but one will drop off the one that isn't the thing. But I just feel like it's taking that for stuff that really is the biggest.
And I hear this all the time. It's taking that for step and doing that for thing that tends to be the hardest way because we think things in our mind so much that we think we have to have it figured out before we actually act on it. And that's not true. We can only do so much in our head before the actions are like the only next step.
So I can create a beautiful design of a table in my head, but unless I make it in real life, it will never come to fruition. So I feel like this is the other principle is momentum. We gain inspiration and movement. There has to be movement.
I think that's Tony Robbins for sure. He basically says the only way you'll get inspiration is by moving. You've got to be moving. You've got to have your feet moving.
You've got to be going in a direction to get a direction. It's a great direction. Yeah. Right.
We think we have to have it figured out first and that's just wrong. Yeah, it's absolutely false. It's like you've got to school for four years and you can learn and you can get all that stuff in your head. But if you don't ever do anything with it and get that job, why did you go to school?
And what was the purpose of that school if you don't take action? Yeah. I mean, because I think given me, I look at my college experience now and I reflect on, I think, you know what I gained from college? Social experience.
Did I gain education? No, I don't feel like I really got an education in college. I feel like I gained some education, but in all honesty, the people I met is really where. And the experiences you had that caused you to grow.
Right. And that's what, if I were to like encapsulate my college experience, I'd say, what was the people I met and experiences I had that made that experience what it was. And those people have continued to stay in my life. So many of my friends from that time are still my friends and introduce me to other people like you because of college I know you.
Yes. Yeah, the connections. So I think in my regard, in my life in general, I think it's really taking those opportunities and running with them, whatever they may be and however they may look and not being so judgmental, even if we didn't get education that we thought we should have. It's really about just going out there and applying it.
Right. Yeah. Letting go of the fear of what if this doesn't work or what if I can't do this or whatever? Like, sometimes we just don't trust that we can be successful and I don't know why because we set successful people up too high in our minds.
Maybe we don't think we could be that person, but successful people were all ordinary people to begin with, and they still are. Absolutely. They just knew how to act. Yeah.
Then you had to take the next step. And if they didn't, then they found somebody who would help them know. No, I love that. Yeah, friends, both looking outside yourself because you just don't have the information.
You need outside help. Yes. Yes. everybody to hear that you need outside health.
It's so crucial. Yeah, isolation we are not meant for isolation. No, it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a village to make a company, it takes a village to do everything in our lives. It takes so many people to make good things happen.
And I think the community in my regard, that's probably my most passionate about is how do we build communities that help us succeed. Because I think that community is crucial to happiness, it's a very important aspect of our lives that we may dismiss in our busyness, maybe but in reality, it's where we are, it's in our workplace, it's in our gyms, it's in our churches, it's in our neighborhoods, but these communities that can exist, but if we don't give enough attention to them, they can dissolve. And I just feel like community is a really critical aspect of life right now. It is.
It's something that's almost not as strong, it can be not as strong if we're not careful. Yeah, and I think there are times and seasons for the amount of community that we have, because I think that just is part of life. Right, there are times and seasons, there's ebbs and flows, where we can give more even to a certain community or less. Or less, because you're trying to execute other plans, what will matter in a thousand years?
How does that question apply to you? Yeah, that's a really great question actually. Because I would actually like to make it a little more realistic for me, like what will matter in a hundred years for me? What will matter in a hundred years for me?
And I think that's what part of the reason what drives Lime Light, which again is spelled L-Y-M-L-I-G-H-D, is the building of communities through life show experiences, I feel it's not just, I'm going to go see a life show. It's like, I'm going to get to know this person who has done original work. And I'm going to try to, like I'm going to be able to connect with them, because I'm going to hear what that original work is, stories behind how they made it. It could be a comedian, it could be a dancer, it could be a poet, it could be a musician.
But to be able to hear what's in somebody else's heart can move you. And so those experiences can be, they can be life-changing for some people. They could be what they needed that night. I mean, I've been to house shows where they're like, oh my gosh, I just really needed this.
Or wow, like that was incredible. I have never been to a house show where people do not leave on a high, just a natural high, because they're in a cozy space with somebody who's sharing their heart. And you just don't get better than that. Like you can get equal to, you know, but it just takes the, it takes creation and connection to a different level.
And I think that's one of the reasons I'm doing this is because I feel like it will matter in 100 years. It will matter to the people who were connected through those experiences and who had, who got to share what was in their heart, you know? Yeah, one of the greatest quotes in all of the time is only connect. In regards to that, that's what you're creating.
Like my, an opportunity for people to connect. And to share. And to share their, what they love inside. I mean, to dress it down, like art doesn't have to be super flashy.
It can be and that can be fun, but it can also be just so simple that, that it moves you in a different way because of its simplicity. I love that. One of the things I love about limelight that I, that we stand for is ethical shows. So the performers can earn a living wage, original work.
So the performers don't feel like they have to play covers to be heard and an engaged audience. And specifically for most of our shows, it will be like a listening audience. And that's because when those three things happen, so does the magic. So when people really have a chance to connect, because listening is one of the most powerful things that you can do.