EPISODE · May 8, 2026 · 54 MIN
Anger Isn't the Problem. Misreading It Is — Ryan Martin
from The Mature Male · host Wes Lambert
Ryan Martin, PhD, is a professor of psychology, anger researcher with over 20 years of study, and the author of "Why We Get Mad."Most men were taught that anger is a problem to control or bury. Dr. Ryan Martin has spent over 20 years studying what anger actually is, where it comes from, and what it costs men to keep misreading it. This conversation goes far beyond anger management. It gets into the emotional intelligence no one taught us, the difference between suppression and control, and what it means to finally hear what your anger is actually saying.Expect to learn:Why anger is not good or bad but a source of information, and what question to ask when it shows upThe difference between suppressing anger and controlling it, and why that distinction changes everythingWhat anger is usually protecting, and how to identify the specific button that got triggeredWhy men reach for aggression to reclaim power and why it almost never gets them what they wantThe physiological relationship between anger and fear, and what it means when you cry while angryHow society permits and punishes male anger differently, and the trap that creates for most menWhy unexpressed anger tends to resurface as resentment and what to do insteadHow to talk to a young man about anger without doing it in the moment when it matters leastWhat Ryan did the day after the angriest work meeting of his life, and why venting alone wasn't enoughWhy learning to manage your emotions is the thing most men are actually looking for when they want the relationship, the job, and the life they keep imaginingConnect with Ryan: @angerprofessor on Instagram and Substack. His book "Why We Get Mad" is available wherever books are sold.Follow me here...Website: www.weslambert.meEmail: [email protected]: https://substack.com/@weslambertSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Yv1ciX90C3zdPxD67kjyY?si=7591bc0f32da4f23Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mature-male/id1805978833
What this episode covers
Ryan Martin, PhD, is a professor of psychology, anger researcher with over 20 years of study, and the author of "Why We Get Mad."Most men were taught that anger is a problem to control or bury. Dr. Ryan Martin has spent over 20 years studying what anger actually is, where it comes from, and what it costs men to keep misreading it. This conversation goes far beyond anger management. It gets into the emotional intelligence no one taught us, the difference between suppression and control, and what it means to finally hear what your anger is actually saying.Expect to learn:Why anger is not good or bad but a source of information, and what question to ask when it shows upThe difference between suppressing anger and controlling it, and why that distinction changes everythingWhat anger is usually protecting, and how to identify the specific button that got triggeredWhy men reach for aggression to reclaim power and why it almost never gets them what they wantThe physiological relationship between anger and fear, and what it means when you cry while angryHow society permits and punishes male anger differently, and the trap that creates for most menWhy unexpressed anger tends to resurface as resentment and what to do insteadHow to talk to a young man about anger without doing it in the moment when it matters leastWhat Ryan did the day after the angriest work meeting of his life, and why venting alone wasn't enoughWhy learning to manage your emotions is the thing most men are actually looking for when they want the relationship, the job, and the life they keep imaginingConnect with Ryan: @angerprofessor on Instagram and Substack. His book "Why We Get Mad" is available wherever books are sold.Follow me here...Website: www.weslambert.meEmail: [email protected]: https://substack.com/@weslambertSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Yv1ciX90C3zdPxD67kjyY?si=7591bc0f32da4f23Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mature-male/id1805978833
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Anger Isn't the Problem. Misreading It Is — Ryan Martin
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