Anonymous #30 — What Happens to a Family That Grief Breaks?

This weeks caller lost their baby brother on Thanksgiving Day when they were five, and has spent their whole life with what they call "a little bird called death" on their shoulder. They're a death doula, a trauma-informed yoga instructor, a Reiki master, and an adventure motorcyclist, and they're still  terrified of death.But somehow, that's exactly what makes this conversation so good.The caller is funny, self-aware, and refreshingly honest about the contradiction of doing death work while being afraid of death. We talk about watching grief reshape their entire family after their brother died, what it actually feels like to hold space for mass shooting survivors, and a late-night fight that ended their relationship with their father for good. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, they work out, out loud, a theory about death that involves dimensions, dreamlike transitions, and shedding the skin to see what's really there.In this conversation:What death anxiety actually feels like when you're wired for it, including the moments it just crushes you out of nowhereLosing their brother at five, and how that grief quietly shaped everything afterHolding space for trauma survivors, and what they get out of it that they didn't expectTheir working theory on what happens after we die: dimensions, metamorphosis, and coming into a new space without traumaA few lines from the call:"I've been sitting with a little bird called death on my shoulder my entire life.""We're not actually dead until we're dead. We actually are alive all the way until we die.""Maybe when we die it's like having a dream. And when we wake from this dream of death, we come into being in a new space."Book recommendation: Die Wise: A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul by Stephen JenkinsonMore book recommendations from past episodes: View the full listVideo Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube.Nemosené: Your Life StoryA guided audio interview to capture your story in your own words for the people you love.Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness.Stay Connected🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com📰 Substack: When We Die Talks📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks✉️ Email: [email protected] to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.