Are My Recovered Memories Real? Part 2: The Path to Freedom & Peace

After two years of MDMA, Ed was ready to give up on psychedelic therapy. He still couldn’t sleep, & his sessions seemed to keep repeating the same experience over & over. A memory of sexual abuse he wasn’t even sure was real.But before he quit, Ed tried ayahuasca, & it completely changed his understanding of what had been happening on MDMA. Ayahuasca, he says, showed him that it wasn’t one experience on loop. It was a sequence of similar experiences. To Ed, this was a breakthrough.Maybe, if he kept going, he’d finally sleep again. Maybe, he’d find peace. Chapters(00:00) Intro. (03:38) The first time Ed remembers having a flashback.(05:30) Remembering his face. (06:58) Asking questions. (09:03) The most important memory.(10:37) Psychedelic revenge.(12:31) The gift with conditions.(14:29) Letting go of the story.(00:00) Intro. NotesFirst flashback: After our interview, Ed mentioned that he’s not sure what he described as the first flashback he ever had was the first time it happened or just the first time he remembers having one.Edits: To focus this episode’s themes and narrative, we cut down Ed’s analysis, observations, narrativizations, & story. We also cut all of Alex’s questions & comments. Other edits are limited to dead space, audio blemishes, unnecessary words, & unessential content. We consulted with Ed, & he approved this flow. Theme song: Secret Wilderness’ theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.We used the tracks “Cinematic Emotions 1 - Creepy,” “Lost Place Atmospheres Vol. 8,” “Halloween Atmosphere 2024,” & “Epic Intro 2018 Prequel,” by Sascha Ende. This music is free for commercial use under the CC BY 4.0 license.